No Exaggeration - Love Under Wraps

this made me cry

DRAG THEM!!!!!

Morning Routine by Alex Salsberg

you ever hoist a big laundry basket on your hip and feel like the great tragedy of your life is that you weren’t born a hearty peasant girl in medieval england who’d die at 22 from an abscessed tooth

imo the fact that people apparently relate to this points to some kind of weird cell memory of centuries of female labour that’s activated by extended pressure against the hipbone. im becoming an evolutionary psychologist it was wonderful knowing you all

I want everyone to push the Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer joke relentlessly until Ted Cruz is forced to address whether or not he is the zodiac killer in a debate

“obviously, we have a lot of problems we need to address”, i say, referring to one specific problem, which i created, alone

honestly, i hate math and i will not do it. if someone asks me to do math i will pretend like i did not hear them and i will leave. 

me: it’s ok i’m not mad me 5 mins later: actually? you can go to hell

for someone who is fully content hanging out alone I have a huge want of being someone’s most favorite person in their life.