Major Wave Creative

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Kenosha, Wisconsin

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Kenosha City Attorney: 262-653-4170

District Attorney email: [email protected] Kenosha Mayor and City Administration: 262-653-4000 ; [email protected] Wisconsin Department of Justice: (608) 266-1221 Kenosha Police Non Emergency Line: 262-656-1234

Now I know. Only love can save this world. So I stay. I fight, and I give…for the world I know can be. This is my mission, now. Forever.

A gym-rat-themed human barbarian who communicates exclusively via an ever-changing array of pithy slogans displayed on their enchanted novelty t-shirt  

An elven rogue who refuses to speak aloud out of a professional commitment to stealthiness; when the need arises, they produce artfully handwritten notes from their numerous pockets  

A halfling warlock who traded their voice to their patron for some unspecified favour; their toad familiar, who speaks on their behalf, sounds exactly like a 1950s radio announcer, static included  

An orc wizard who speaks a unique three-handed dialect of sign language with the assistance of the mage hand cantrip; when otherwise unoccupied, the mage hand is prone to rude gestures  

A half-elven cleric cursed by a rival priest to speak only in rhyme; it was manageable at first, but one day they foolishly ended a sentence with the word “plinth”, and they’ve been stuck ever since  

A dragonborn paladin whose draconic parent had a sonic breath weapon, leaving them with a speaking voice with no register between “inaudible whisper” and “2d6 thunder damage”  

A gnome druid who understands all the languages of birds and beasts, and no others, relying on random critters – who apparently do understand Common? – to translate when necessary  

- Had zero stations for water on the 26 mile (42 km) course

- Accidentally gave North American competitor Tom Hicks a cocktail made of egg whites, brandy, and actual fucking rat poison

- Had a guy come into the race late wearing a beret and cutoff slacks, sneak into an apple orchard during the race because no food had been given to him for 40 hours, eat rotten apples, projectile vomit onto the track, fall asleep for hours, and finish in fourth place OVERALL because most of the other runners collapsed of exhaustion or injuries

- Conducted the race on a dusty road, which caused so much dust to be kicked into the air that an American runner somehow inhaled enough to tear his STOMACH LINING open

- Accidentally released feral dogs onto the track