Idek what this is

Magic: the Gathering - Shattergang Brothers

Family Business is Booming

The Shattergang Brothers (artificers Rikkig, Gardagig and Dargig) are a gang operating on Ravnica.  Dargig was a victim of the goblin turf war with a Mob Boss, Krenko. They run a black market operation for illegal weapons and specialise in making and supplying explosives.  MTG Commander 2013 card illustrated by artist Kev Walker.

- No “the Chosen One”

- No “prophecy”

- No “legendary weapon/item” or McGuffin that both the good guy and the villain needs in order to achieve their goals.

- No “damsel in distress.”

- Both the villains and the good guys have someone and something they want to protect. No bad guy without a cause or a good-looking good guy with an emotional range of a spoon.

- The Side quests that heavily hint the plot twist of the main storyline. Not just boring “fetch quests” to get weapon upgrade materials.

- A2 and her berserk mode.

- Emil.

- The Soundtrack.

- The fact that the game made me put more serious thoughts into war victims and cry more times than all Final Fantasy games combined.

- 2B rescues 9S. Because fuck gender norm.

Magic: the Gathering - Mirror Match

Magic: the Gathering - That End Step

So, I’m in a campaign where everyone starts as level 0 commoners and we all flail around trying not to die horribly for as long as possible. Somehow, amidst all this carnage, an unexpected hero joined us.

DM: you are ambushed by three angry Gnolls. What do you do?

Dwarf herder (me): *looks through inventory* wait…I have a sow?

DM: Yep. You’re a herder.

Herder: Imma try and get her to attack the Gnolls. *rolls a d20 and gets an 18*

DM: ok, she attacks. Roll a d4 for damage.

Herder: *rolls 4*

DM:….your pig kills the Gnoll.

Herder: I’m naming this sow Suzan the Battle Pig. Good job, Suzan!

~~~~later~~~~

Herder: *dies by another angry Gnoll*

Me: wait, can Suzan still fight?

DM: roll persuasion to see if your other character can convince her to help.

Me: *rolls nat20*

DM: Suzan is filled with rage and discovers an insatiable hunger for Gnoll flesh. She now attacks with a d6.

Suzan: *kills the remaining Gnoll boss and Gnoll magician*

Me: Suzan is gonna eat the Gnolls

DM:…ok, she eats the big one and gains 5XP and one point of luck. She’s too full to eat the other one.

Me: Suzan carries the magic Gnoll with her.

~~~~one short rest later~~~~

Me: can Suzan eat her Gnoll now?

Mayor: I’ll die before I tell you anything!

Me: I slit his throat.

Gunslinger: We’re trying to get information.

Me: I slit his throat.

GM: Ire slits his throat.

Ranger: Why the hell did you do that you moron.

Me: I roll to compel the gods to put his spirit back into his body.

The entire party: what.

Me: *rolls nat20 plus 13*

GM: Jesus Christ, Ire somehow convinces the gods to gingerly put the guy back in his body and heal his wounds.

Me: What were you saying about dying first?

Magic: The Gathering - 2017 Holiday Card

Available from Ultra PRO - 2017 Holiday Card Playmat

Some disassembly Required, B B, Sacrifice a creature: Distributed the sacrificed creature’s keyword abilities among any number of other target creatures until end of turn. If it’s December, you gain 1 life for each of those keywords.

Now all they needed was a jolly, happy soul.

Paladin: I’ll speak draconic to convince the dragon turtle to not kill us because we’re not the bad guys!

Paladin: *Rolls a 3*

Paladin: You need to get rid of that imp

Warlock: why?

Paladin: It’s a devil and it’s dangerous that’s why

Warlock: Well… It’s only CR 1…

You can find this and more designs at:

http://www.redbubble.com/people/arkatos