Poetical Corner

“But that’s still your mom..”

But he never did.

And now, she’s gone..

The way that I parse through and sort out my emotions prior to each appointment, to each meeting isn’t meant to be taken personal.

For me, it is safe, but for you, it is emotional intelligence hopelessly ensnared in detachment, or perhaps some other diagnosis of standing apart from this space between you and myself.

You are at the door. You knock. I open the door, letting you in to see an apartment that smells of having been freshly cleaned. There are bags filled with scraps of old emotions, mental thoughts and processing, all of which waiting to be tossed out. Meanwhile, all you perceive is the environment already cleansed and cleaned—tidied without you. Still welcoming nonetheless, but it’s a bit impersonal, straightforward, and unpurposefully cold to your senses. Your heart breaks for me a little inside, but I appear completely fine.

We aren’t likely to see

A beautiful flower

Buried underneath.

The rubble of pain and grief

Masks a subtle duality.

The fragility of a life

Perceptibly inhales.

The cruelty of a death

Dismissively exhales.

“I just wanted to be kind to someone.”

Looking for something..

A sound.

Your sound.

Through thousands of voices

Piercing my ears

I searched desperately

Relentless to find

The perfect pitch

The precise calm

To soothe

A crying babe.

But I’d rather you show me what’s different.

Or would you just..

Stand me up

Over

And over..

What am I waiting for?

A sip from our favorite soup

Arrests my heart and mind.

My throat tightens

As I think of how you suffered

And fought

And gasped.

I choke

As I can no longer enjoy these things

Without your smile.

Not for a while, anyway.

Not while grief has a place to stay.

Tell me what you want.”

Despite it all, I still wish you the best..

I’m not the one for you...

Because we’re all out of straws to give..

Doesn’t sing anymore..

Everything I’ve tried to build

Crumbling

Right before my eyes

I feel..

Numb

The same sensation

I felt..

When I almost

Died.