robin (mailman)

- @mail-boy-robin

YEEEAAAAAAH WE GOT MAIL!!!! I LOVE BOXES -J

But since the contents inside are pretty inconspicuous, I've let it go

Pretty sure this is a secret admirer or smth

FROM: @batty-old-man

TO: @dickgraysonoffical

--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--_

I thought you were a guy for some reason. Even after you told me your gf was a lesbian

Yeah idk I'm really slow 😭😭😭

Muse - character you are playing

And then found out that you were supposed to bring SLIDESHOWS and POWERPOINT presentations, but many bitchass school didn't tell me

So even though I was interested, I didn't really do much

I thought you were a guy for some reason. Even after you told me your gf was a lesbian

Yeah idk I'm really slow 😭😭😭

Muse - character you are playing

to: @the-funnier-prankster

A huge package. It looks familiar, as it is the very same package the Prankster sent to the Joker.

Package is suspiciously ticking and covered in scrawled, dripping smiley faces in green and purple. There is brownish-red seeping from the bottom into the cardboard.

If opened, the package is rigged with a spike-covered boxing glove that springs out instantly and powerfully upon release. The ticking is a joke and is simply a recording with a post-it note that says "gotcha!". The rust colored stains and seepage are unexplained from the insides of the package. There is another note that, if found, reads in a wild hand: "THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS, FIGURED I WOULD RETURN THE FAVOR. HOPE THIS ONE LANDS! HAAHAHAHHAHAAH!!!!"

Sir, I disrespectfully i cannot deliver this package

Also I just don't like you, you are not funny in the slightest and you're WAYY too into my father, who is TAKEN by the way!

And I don't discriminate against clowns or comedians, just you bitch

Oh, are you finally done? Thank god, you just wouldn't shut up!

I thought I escaped customer service by choosing mail, but I guess Karens exist everywhere

You call yourself Batman's greatest villain and claim that he's into but the truth is, father thinks more about Susan from pto more than you.

So you can keep deluding yourself all you like, but I'm not in the mood for fanfictions

And don't forget, it's Billionaire not millionaire

If anything, moving to Gotham was a DOWNGRADE

This mail service you see here, it's a hobby. A hobby of mine that I do outside of vigilantism because being robin isn't the only thing in my life.

But you? What are you other than the joker

Oh but Damian it SHOULD be the only thing. It's the only thing that your father really wants to do himself! How are you going to take up the mantle with an attitude like that??? Are you two fighting? Is that why you're doing this little mail roleplay where you pretend to be a delivery person? He's terribly mercurial and since you're made of the same stock I wager it's like two cranky goats butting heads eternal. I know what that's like! You know, that reminds me of both a mail joke and a father and son joke! A father who was a farmer was writing to his son in prison and the letter went something like this: Dear son;

Your mother and I love you very much, and we miss you dearly ever since you went to prison. I especially miss you now that spring is here, and it is time to plow the fields. The ground is hard, and my back is old. I am afraid I will never be able to plant the crops in time.

Well, his son knew just what to do. He wrote back to his poor old dad.

Dear Dad;

Don't dig in the field...that's where the thing I buried is. The thing we can't talk about and that the cops shouldn't know about. They read my mail here, dad, so I can't give any details. Just do not dig out there, please. It took some time but his dad finally wrote back.

Dear son;

The cops came out and completely dug up my fields. They said they were looking for something. Thanks, son. It looks like I will get the crops planted on time after all!

to: @the-funnier-prankster

A huge package. It looks familiar, as it is the very same package the Prankster sent to the Joker.

Package is suspiciously ticking and covered in scrawled, dripping smiley faces in green and purple. There is brownish-red seeping from the bottom into the cardboard.

If opened, the package is rigged with a spike-covered boxing glove that springs out instantly and powerfully upon release. The ticking is a joke and is simply a recording with a post-it note that says "gotcha!". The rust colored stains and seepage are unexplained from the insides of the package. There is another note that, if found, reads in a wild hand: "THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS, FIGURED I WOULD RETURN THE FAVOR. HOPE THIS ONE LANDS! HAAHAHAHHAHAAH!!!!"

Sir, I disrespectfully i cannot deliver this package

Also I just don't like you, you are not funny in the slightest and you're WAYY too into my father, who is TAKEN by the way!

And I don't discriminate against clowns or comedians, just you bitch

Oh, are you finally done? Thank god, you just wouldn't shut up!

I thought I escaped customer service by choosing mail, but I guess Karens exist everywhere

You call yourself Batman's greatest villain and claim that he's into but the truth is, father thinks more about Susan from pto more than you.

So you can keep deluding yourself all you like, but I'm not in the mood for fanfictions

And don't forget, it's Billionaire not millionaire

If anything, moving to Gotham was a DOWNGRADE

This mail service you see here, it's a hobby. A hobby of mine that I do outside of vigilantism because being robin isn't the only thing in my life.

But you? What are you other than the joker

to: @the-funnier-prankster

A huge package. It looks familiar, as it is the very same package the Prankster sent to the Joker.

Package is suspiciously ticking and covered in scrawled, dripping smiley faces in green and purple. There is brownish-red seeping from the bottom into the cardboard.

If opened, the package is rigged with a spike-covered boxing glove that springs out instantly and powerfully upon release. The ticking is a joke and is simply a recording with a post-it note that says "gotcha!". The rust colored stains and seepage are unexplained from the insides of the package. There is another note that, if found, reads in a wild hand: "THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS, FIGURED I WOULD RETURN THE FAVOR. HOPE THIS ONE LANDS! HAAHAHAHHAHAAH!!!!"

Sir, I disrespectfully i cannot deliver this package

Also I just don't like you, you are not funny in the slightest and you're WAYY too into my father, who is TAKEN by the way!

And I don't discriminate against clowns or comedians, just you bitch

Oh, are you finally done? Thank god, you just wouldn't shut up!

I thought I escaped customer service by choosing mail, but I guess Karens exist everywhere

You call yourself Batman's greatest villain and claim that he's into but the truth is, father thinks more about Susan from pto more than you.

So you can keep deluding yourself all you like, but I'm not in the mood for fanfictions

And don't forget, it's Billionaire not millionaire

to: @jokergotaway

A huge package.

Package is empty.

It just has a card at the bottom. When you open it, all that it says is '𝓘 𝓫𝓮𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵' (I bet you thought you were special) scrawled in great calligraphy whilst the card plays Joker's own laugh as background music.

Made a prototype for the card but never received any feed back from prankster, so I'll just drop it here

to: @the-funnier-prankster

A huge package. It looks familiar, as it is the very same package the Prankster sent to the Joker.

Package is suspiciously ticking and covered in scrawled, dripping smiley faces in green and purple. There is brownish-red seeping from the bottom into the cardboard.

If opened, the package is rigged with a spike-covered boxing glove that springs out instantly and powerfully upon release. The ticking is a joke and is simply a recording with a post-it note that says "gotcha!". The rust colored stains and seepage are unexplained from the insides of the package. There is another note that, if found, reads in a wild hand: "THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS, FIGURED I WOULD RETURN THE FAVOR. HOPE THIS ONE LANDS! HAAHAHAHHAHAAH!!!!"

Sir, I disrespectfully i cannot deliver this package

Also I just don't like you, you are not funny in the slightest and you're WAYY too into my father, who is TAKEN by the way!

And I don't discriminate against clowns or comedians, just you bitch