I used to hate Doctor Who. Like I really couldn’t figure out what was so damn amazing about it. I tried to start and watch it. I watched the first season and was like “Well it’s still shit.” But people kept pushing me to watch more. To give it another go, telling me it didn’t get going until the second season. So I gave it another go but I kept thinking “I still don’t like it..It’s stupid.”

But I didn’t realize I kept on putting another episode and another... I realized I was binge watching that shit. I realized I was hooked. I wanted to see more. I loved the sillyness, I loved the fact that in face of peril and despite the darkness he carries inside him the doctor kept being still silly. And his changing companions help him to hold on to his light because he knows that alone he would be lost. He needs a guide, a compass not just a companion but a compass.

I notced that a lot of people with depression for example loved it. And I am among them with my depression. You know why? Because Doctor Who is an inspiration. To me it feels not only does the show want you to survive the horrors of this world, the things this world has done to you but despite all of that it wants you to thrive, to survive and make it out as a champion. Champion of yourself and champion of this world. Because it has some sort of notion that there is good in humanity. As if it knows that this world would be utterly doomed if the bad things and deeds that have happened to us would make us cold. 

Because true compassion is in the face of true despair. Because the hope really lies in people who can be good and altruistic despite the shit they have been made to go through. Despite the abuse and betrayal. Despite the depression. Despite the utter despair, that we would not turn cold and turn a blind eye to others suffering. To learn that to seek revenge is not thriving, it’s decaying.

It’s a story about surviving. But not only that. To thrive and do good. Despite all to remember that in order to believe in good in this world you have to be it. It starts with you. And no one can show compassion in the face of despair better than you, in the eye of the storm. That is an achievement, a deed that is an inspiraton to this world.To not give up and stay kind and compassionate. 

We don’t always have those companions or compasses or compassion in real life... But I believe we have it in us to do the right thing. All we need is a little push to get the thought process going. And I think to many of us or at least me Doctor Who is just that. It’s that nudge, that push to the right direction. My compass. And now I can finally say at the end of 9th season... I am a fan. And I know exactly why. 

I am 30 and the show with it’s camp and sillyness is, at least to me, wrapped into something deep. Our hearts become heavy with age. But there is still that lightness, that child like sillyness, the stories we tell, our creativity. To be compassionate is to hold on to that light heart and a heavy heart. To remember compassion despite the perils.