A 2003 Toyota Corolla drives down a woodland road. The fresh forest air pushes its way through the opened windows. The force of it would be suffocating but tonight it keeps the lone driver awake. Soothing sounds of tires rolling on dirt threaten to lull them back to sleep. "Do not turn on the radio" they think to themselves. Music would only be a distraction. They think to themselves a lot but lately the thoughts have not been coming together. Usually they swirl like a pot of soup. Each ingredient seemingly having nothing to do with each other but when stirred together make one clear recipe.
For the past few weeks the thoughts have been like leaves shaking in a canopy of trees. Some thoughts fall away at the smallest movement while other hang on for dear life. Some thoughts group together on the strongest branch while others are alone on an isolated twig. It is difficult to see how many trees are attached to the shaking branches. They all seem to move as one but none are connected to each other.
The car jolts. The driver shakes their head to keep their thoughts from slipping again. The only thing more soothing than the subtle sounds of tires is a daydream of swaying trees. They lean their head slightly towards the window and take a deep breath in. Hopefully, the cold air will force its way through their body to keep them awake a little longer. Just a little longer now. Just down this road.
The car jolts once more. The driver grunts in frustration and claws at their leg. The small pain of nails against skin keep them awake but it's not a permanent solution. "Can I just pull over and rest? Why am I so determined to keep going? This is so stupid. If I get hurt it will be my fault. It's so stupid." The frustration distracts them from their sleepy state as they roll into the small clearing along the side of the road. A sign reads, "roll-out site 9, no hookups, stay on path". They made it to their campsite at last.
Now frustrated they thrust themselves out of the car and fling open the trunk. The metal makes a crunching noise and the camper's eyes widen for a brief moment. "Jesus Christ get a hold of yourself. You're acting like a baby. You're going to break something and then what? Just take a moment to breathe. Just breathe," their breath slows down as they stare blankly into the back of the car. Their eyes focus and un-focus themselves. Their jaw un-clenches. Their fists un-furl.
In the trunk of the car is a pile of blankets, a cooler, mosquito net, camping chair, USB fan, flashlight, sketch book, extra phone batteries, and a hunting knife. They pull out the cooler and chair. They set them down nice and gently. Carefully, pull out the mosquito net and attach it to the open trunk of the car. Then to the bumper. Check the seal all around the open part. Carefully making sure the magnet is connected on all sides to the car.
Opening the back door, they slowly put down the car seats, unwrap the blanket and make a nice bed. The trunk is not big enough to sleep in normally, but with it open and the seats down it should work. They close the back door and settle in. "See, nice and gentle. That wasn't so hard was it?," they think as they turn on the flashlight and plug in their phone.
They awake up to cold air pecking at their face. A nice deep breath in wakes them up enough to start their day. They pull out a ham sandwich from the cooler and a bottle of water. Sitting in their camping chair and resting their feet on the cooler. A nice deep breath in with their face turned up towards the canopy.
The leaves sway chaotically in the wind. Not a single tree seems to be moving in the same direction. Not a single leaf seems to be moving with a group.
It's strange that no leaves seem to be falling in such strong wind. The wind beings to die down and the leaves trickle down the branches and land softly. They were waiting for things to settle before finally falling to the ground.
The birds begin chirping. They too were waiting for their chance as the wind would've drowned out their calls. What use would chirping be then? Now with no wind they can fill the forest with their song.
A lone squirrel runs down the tree to begin its scavenging. The moving branches would've been hard to navigate. What use would climbing down be if it were to fall? Now with everything still, it can safely make its way down.
The camper finishes their food. A lump sits in their throat. Their eyes un-focus once more as a single tear rolls down their cheek. Then another and another. Their vision is blocked by their eyes watering over. Their voice is blocked by the pressure in their throat. They push out a cry and fall forward. Sinking down on their hands and knees, clinging to the dirt as the tears keep rolling. Sobbing, coughing, crying, sobbing, coughing, and crying. It keeps going until it just, stops.
They take a deep breath in. The wind starts again.
