deadbeat dad

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So many of you have been emailing me asking me to explain what was going through his mind, to explain his personality and his beliefs and why he did it.

I know that the majority of you are just confused and some feel affected personally and want some insight. I haven't been responding because there are so many parts to this. There is so much that goes into something like this, so many complexities. I know you all want a simple answer but there isn't one.

There are some things I can explain which you would understand, some things I can explain which you would not understand and some things that I just cant explain at all. This is why I have been "ignoring what happened" as someone put it. I am not ignoring it, I am not avoiding it, the reason I have not talked to the press and the rest of you is not because I want to wash my hands of it.

It is because there is no point.

But now there are some things people have said which I will address, because they are just so completely untrue and he is not here to speak for himself.

First he was not a Ñàzï. He hated Ñàzïs and Ñàzïsm with a fiery passion. It went against every belief he had.

Second, he was not a psychopath or a sociopath. He felt love, he felt guilt, he felt fear.

Third, he was not bullied or picked on, not by you or people in his life.

This is the most important thing, because I see some of you blaming yourselves in the aftermath of TJs videos towards him. Thinking that leaving him nasty messages contributed to this. It did not. He was loving the attention and sub boost TJ gave him. And he was not an innocent kid who was randomly attacked by TJ, he attacked TJ and many others first. Made fun of their appearance, their intelligence or lack there of and their close-minded and superficial world views.

So much has happened in his life since that time of the video. He was doing really well for awhile there also. If any of you had reported him. It would have done nothing but take away his ability to express himself through his videos, one thing which made him happy and curbed his hömöçídál tendencies.

That brings me to Battlefield2, Hitman, the music and the videos he liked... those things are not to blame either, they also if anything connected him with other people and kept him from going over the edge sooner.

And his parents are not at all to blame for this either. He really loved them, and from what he has told me they seemed to be normal, concerned, loving people who were always there for him.

His classmates were not to blame either, he was not bullied, mostly because in mainland Europe there isn't this castle system in schools and bullies bullshit that you guys deal with in America. But also because had he been he would have reacted to it instantly.

The other thing that prompted me to say something...

Those of you who are using him now. Using him to puff yourselves up or attack others or for your personal causes or gripes... you are fucking sick. And I would wonder if you were not the true sociopaths. You want the moral high ground, but the irony is that he would not even stoop as low as some of you have in the past few days. You have no morals and no conscience and are thinking only of yourselves. Such hypocrisy. Not about the victims, not about their families or him and his family. But about how you can use him and what happened to help yourself. It's twisted

Aside from that...

To many of you who have been emailing me with kind words of support and condolences - I am really touched by your outpouring of compassion.