Mage Glassess

A census can understand population level trends just fine without storing your assigned sex as part of your legal identity. They can ask for this information in the census. The census tracking population level data is not the same as your assigned sex being permanently part of your legal identity. (At least, the way my country does a census.)

Your doctor can know your anatomy by you communicating it to them if/when it is relevant. There is never a time when they might need to know something that could only be conveyed by your assigned sex being officially relayed to them via government documentation. You can just use your words. The same way you tell your doctor any other part of your medical history.

People respond to "the government doesn't need to store your assigned sex as part of your legal identity" as if they are hearing "no one should ever acknowledge gender or sex at all" but that's not what's being said.

Your birth certificate conveys important legal information about you. Your name, as a designation. Your parents, as they have a legal obligation to you. Your place of birth, as that place has a legal obligation to you. Date and time of birth, since age is important for application of some laws.

And sex. That's on there too. But what is the legal relevance? What laws is the government going to apply to you differently based on what sex is on your birth certificate? I can only think of one thing my government really uses that for, and that is to determine who has to sign up for the draft. And guess what, fuck that shit anyway. The government also used to use this to decide who is allowed to marry who. They don't do that anymore. For now.

You have a jar of pickles (unopened) and access to each of the Shards of Adonalsium. Surely they can help you open this jar, if you only ask!

1. Devotion

Devotion: I would love to open this jar for you, sweetie.

Pickle jar opened!

2. Dominion

Dominion: Sure. I can open this jar for you, weakling. Dominion: But if I do this for you, then I own you. You: For...one jar of pickles? Dominion: Do you want a good hot dog experience or not?!

Pickle jar...could be opened??

3. Autonomy

Autonomy: You're asking...for my help? Autonomy: Gross. Autonomy: Be a gender. Open it for yourself. You: Be a...gender? Autonomy: I don't care to get to know you.

Pickle jar not opened :(

4. Valor

Valor: Open a jar?? Ha ha! Easy! Valor: The last time a jar defeated me, it was made by dragons and sealed in a cave guarded by enormous beasts! You: Defeated...? Valor: Here's your pickles!

Pickle jar opened!

5. Cultivation

Cultivation: Of course. Here you go. [Opens jar] Cultivation: Oh, by the way-- Cultivation: These pickles will now have a faint aftertaste of liquorice. You: But why Cultivation: [shrugs]

Pickle jar opened!

6. Endowment

Endowment: Even better--I'm going to give you big, meaty hands so that you can open your own pickle jars! You: Big, meaty hands? Endowment: You are so welcome.

Pickle jar...can be opened?

7. Virtuosity

Virtuosity: Look at the way the light from the kitchen window shines through this jar... Virtuosity: Endowing even these humble pickles with an ethereal glow... Virtuosity: Hold on--art moment! Virtuosity: [grabbing her drawing utensils] You: P-Pickles...

Pickle jar not opened :(

8. Reason

Reason: Do you have one of those jar gripper pads that makes opening jars easy? You: No :( Reason: [handing the jar back] Sounds like a "you" problem then.

Pickle jar not opened :(

9. Mercy

Mercy: Do you have one of those jar girpper pads that makes opening jars easy? You: No :( Mercy: Well....poor planning, but I guess I can help you anyway.

Pickle jar opened!

10. Honor

Honor: I Agree and Promise to open this jar for you! Honor: [straining] Honor: [straining] Honor: [straining] Honor: Oh no.

Pickle jar not opened :(

11. Whimsy

Whimsy: Help you? What's the magic word? You: Please? Whimsy: What's in the jar? You: Pickles? Whimsy: Ah yes, something to whet your...what's the word? You: Palate? Whimsy: What color is Santa's suit? You: Pink? Whimsy: Don't be silly--it's red! Whimsy: [jingles sadly away] You: ...

Pickle jar not opened :(

12. Odium

Odium: Plain bread & butter pickles? Odium: Really? Odium: You couldn't spring for something interesting? Some spice? An unuusal vegetable? Something with a little passion? You: Please, my hot dog is almost done micorwaving

Pickle jar not opened :(

13. Ambition

Ambition: Don't shove that easily openable jar at me! Ambition: Look at the lid! It has grippable ridges! Ambition: I won't accept anything other than a true challenge.

Pickle jar not opened :(

14. Invention

Invention: You know, all you need to do is pull the side of the lid away from the jar, which breaks the seal and makes the lid very easy to take off. Invention: Hmm...I bet if I could make a device that would fit between the lid and the jar's lip... Invention: But how to produce leverage....? Ivention: [wanders away] You: M-My hot dog is getting cold...

Pickle jar not opened :(

15. Preservation

Preservation: Open it?? Preservation: But it lasts so much longer and stays so much fresher when it's closed! Preservation (weirdly intense): Can you commit eating all of these pickles over the next 17 days, the time of Peak Pickle Freshness?? Preservation: Can you??? Preservation: Yeah. Preservation: I didn't think so.

Pickle jar not opened :(

16. Ruin

Ruin: Oh sure. I have a trick for jars. Ruin: You just tap it against the counter, and... [The pickle jar shatters] Ruin: Perfect.

Pickle jar...opened??

17. (Bonus!) Harmony

Harmony: Wax! Somebody needs help with a jar!!