Mae’s Corner

Will eventually also go on ao3

They don’t talk about it.

Which is crazy, Stiles has never not talked about anything in his life.

But he can tell Derek feels weird about it. Angles it away from Stiles when it bumps against Stiles’ rim. Takes off the condom and makes a show of it, like Stiles can’t feel it, incessant. In the heat of the moment it’s hard to talk about. It obsesses him.

But still he can't bring it up first. That's pushy, and pushy is the last thing Stiles wants to be about their sex life. He knows Derek probably feels weird about it. Maybe it's a rule or something, you're not supposed to knot a human.

He tries to look it up, sees some pretty interesting porn, but nothing about a full on taboo. On the contrary, the few places he feels have good information about were-human relationships seem to mention it here and there but not in a way that strikes Stiles as particularly taboo.

Derek, as always, is different.

And Stiles can do without it, of course he can.

The only problem is wanting to talk about it.

Derek lands next to him, bed bouncing a little, and he pulls Stiles closer. Light streams through the large windows of the loft and down onto Stiles’ bare body, now covered in evidence that Derek is different.

He scoots closer, and he can feel it against his hip, and Derek hisses and jerks, coming more.

Stiles blinks blearily. “Sorry. I’know you don’ like me to touch you.”

Derek’s brow furrows. “What?”

“I mean… your knot,” Stiles’ voice is slow, still clogged with moans.

“Again, what are you talking about, Stiles?”

Stiles is coming online slowly, but not fast enough to shut himself up. “You don’ wanna knot me, or want me to touch it. ‘M saying I didn’t mean to do that.”

Derek’s nostrils flare, but he says nothing.

And that sits like a rock in Stiles’ stomach. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to notice.

“Sorry. I don’t know your rules.” Stiles says, hoping the afterglow softens whatever hard edges he dug into his boyfriend.

“You can touch it.” Derek says, but he doesn’t move.

Stiles stifles a sigh. “Well, don’t sound too excited about it.”

He goes to pull away, go clean up, gather up his own jagged edges, but an iron grip around his waist won’t let him.

He glances up, speared again by Derek’s beauty. The light shows the bronze in his hair, the silver in his eyes, and paints his skin gold, and he looks at Stiles with supreme concentration.

“Stiles.”

“Yes?”

“Touch me.”

Stiles blinks a few times, and then slowly steals his hand down Derek’s chest, glancing off smooth skin.

Derek kisses him as Stiles’ fingers finally reach around his cock, around the smooth skin of the knot. He’s still rock hard, and Stiles’ gasps, not sure what he was expecting. Derek is hard and he’s coming more. Stiles shivers, squeezing more than he is stroking, working off of what he gathered off the forums and also off of whatever makes Derek’s breath catch.

He explores, tugging and squeezing, groping Derek’s balls with gentle hands. It’s so smooth, the skin velvety and lubed already, and Stiles is fascinated. He wants to go further. He wants to research.

It seems to go on endlessly, the golden light, the heady, glorious taste of Derek, the smell of him, painted all over Stiles’ skin. Stiles’ hand starts to cramp but he keeps going, feeding off of Derek’s pleasure like a man starved.

Derek groans, breaking away and resting his forehead against Stiles’.

“I’ve never,” he gasps. “With anyone but you. Didn’t wanna- god, fuck, Stiles, fuck, your hand, fuck, FUCK.”

He gasps into Stiles’ mouth and spurts one last time over Stiles’ belly.

They stay like this for a long moment, breathing nearly into each others’ mouths to the point that Stiles genuinely thinks about carbon monoxide poisoning.

“I’ve never… with anyone but you. Didn’t wanna do it wrong, hurt you, or freak you out.”

Stiles curls closer, hiding his face in Derek’s throat. “Well, I did freak out. Just a little.”

“I don’t know how to do it,” Derek says simply. “Can’t take chances with things like that.”

Stiles swallows. “I know of some forums. And some porn.”

Derek’s throat works and then he laughs, the rich sound pouring through Stiles like honey, soothing every small hurt.

“Ok. Why not.”

“Pun intended?” Stiles asks.

derek can manhandle him so easily. when stiles is dilly dallying derek just picks him up and carries him away bridal-style. (bridal-Stiles?)

or throws him over his shoulder, or tugs him close by his hand, or rests a heavy arm around his waist or back. derek is possessive and handsy and relishes in the fact that he gets stiles all to himself. gets to touch him and have him whenever, and stiles lets him, and loves it. he's never felt more adored, and derek's hands are so warm and strong on him, and he feels claimed, and presses back into derek so easily.

there’s still intensity. it’s just, like, a million times gentler. which is kind of wholesome, in a way. kind of heartwarming, kind of… way too surreal to even really process, sometimes. without stiles, like, half-leaving his body, or watching from the back of his mind.

but it’s kind of a gut-punch, at the same time. how much it keeps on happening.

Do I? Do I?

Oh, I have spent hundreds of hours thinking about Derek Hale and his kinky little sex life.

Man, the opportunities.

Okay, so. We have Derek Hale, canonically sexually abused and groomed in his teenage years, by a woman who went on to burn his family alive. That's got to fuck him up, yeah? He grows up beginning to understand that what happened to him was rape and he was abused. So maybe he just ... avoids sex, for years. It was only ever used as a weapon against him, to hurt.

Let's not even bring up Paige, okay.

Or. He goes the other way. Moves to New York with Laura, and sleeps around hard. Desperate to find a way back to pleasure that doesn't feel tainted by Kate, and by grief. He fucks women, he fucks men, he fucks anyone who'll have him.

He ends up in BDSM clubs, just to try to find something that makes him feel alive again. And he's a great sub, because he can take a hell of a beating and be healed the next morning. He's a great sub, because God, he wants someone to turn his brain off. Make all the horrific thoughts and the guilt, just stop.

The thing is, in that scene, looking the way he does, as he gets older and broader? They want him to Dom. And he can. He does. He makes sure to take care of people, but it's not what he really craves.

Derek Hale is definitely a man who will let the right person treat him like a big pup. A mutt who needs a leash and a crate and somewhere safe to unwind and unleash. He'll mount when he's told to mount, and he'll roll over and take it when his owner wants him.

Derek is the kind of man who is desperate for someone else to take control. He became an Alpha against his will. It's not what he really wanted. Laura was always supposed to be his Alpha, and he lost that when he lost her. He doesn't know what he's doing with his little ragtag pack of Betas, other hurting children he's trying to save.

This is not a man who does well in command. He's a lieutenant. He follows orders. He was meant to be Laura's 2IC.

He'll use his werewolf resilience and healing to withstand all kinds of pain, and he fucking relishes in it. He'll let people whip him, paddle him, tie him up. Anything but electricity play.