Magnificent, marvelous, mad, mad, mad, mad

Of course! We stan laws!

Why in the world? I’d rather die. Literally.

For why?

Everything would be much easier if Oakley didn’t like me. 

Izzy: I mean, kill shots, obviously! But it's unclear if you're like fake craving death or if you actually want to die at the end of this 🤷‍♀️

Izzy: I mean, I could shoot the top of your foot so that you could still wear open toed things or like, things that are pretty open? But it would be easiest to just break your big toe.

Myrcella: You can't kill me by shooting me anywhere else? Like where arteries are of something. Craving fake death, I feel like I might hit peak hotness in my twenties so that's off the table until then.

Carter: I meant in the afterlife, Miss Myrcella. I know it's real selfish of me but I hope I never visit the Isle otherside.

Izzy: I think that could be arranged. You've gotta pick somewhere, though, because I can hit whatever you want me to hit, but you're taking all the fun targets away.

Izzy: Do you just wanna get shot in the foot or something? You'd probably look cute on crutches.

Myrcella: I'm thinking of one! What's the funnest target though?

Myrcella Could you please just do me this one favor?

Oakley: 75% OF THE TIME AND NOT A PERCENTAGE POINT HIGHER. RIGHT?! AT LEAST IT MEANS WE BOTH CARE AND WE'RE NOT ALONE IN THAT. YAY US?

Oakley: I DON'T WANT HER TO STILL BE MY FRIEND JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE NERVE TO GIVE ME THE FRIEND BREAKUP I'VE EARNED! SHE'D MISS ME BUT SHE SHOULDN'T AND NOVA MIGHT NOT BECAUSE SHE'S GOING AROUND KISSING GIRLS ANYWAY. I WAS THAT MEAN, YOU COMPARED ME TO PEOPLE FROM THE ISLE, I'M A MEANIE MEANIE WEENIE. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPIER ANYMORE, ALL I DO IS CAUSE CHAOS AND DISORDER AND MAKE MY FAVORITE PEOPLE UPSET. I'M ALL OF THOSE WORDS LOL ALL THE TIME, I CAN JUST USUALLY IGNORE IT. IS THE FIRST BEST YOU LOL?

Oakley: How?

Myrcella: 99% OF THE TIME AND NOT ONE PERCENTAGE LOWER. YEAH. THIS IS THE

Myrcella: SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE NERVE BECAUSE SHE THINKS YOU'RE GREAT. WHICH YOU ARE. WHY THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT SOMETHING YOU APPARENTLY WANT? AND WHO'S NOVA KISSING? IS IT MARGAERY? THAT WAS JUST ONE MEAN THING YOU DID AND YOU TOOK IT BACK. IT'S NOT LIKE YOUR MAKING A HABIT OUT OF IT!! WEENIE IS MORE APT. THAT SOUNDS MORE LIKE ME THAN IT DOES YOU, BUT OKAY??? YOU'RE NONE OF THOSE WORDS EVER. OF COURSE IT IS, DUH.

- what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone

Celia

- what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone

- what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone

Intro to Remains Of The Day from Corpse Bride

- my muse’s last text to your muse

Myrcella: PROBABLY! I know some stuff about voodoo because of an elective I took our last year on the Isle, but it's not much since those aren't MY ancestors to commune with. But that's what You and research will be there for! Besides, even if we can't make it work the voodoo way, we could just make you some really pretty psychic cards, I CAN do that.

Oakley: IDK EVEN WITH EVERYTHING I'M NOT MAD YOU LIKED ME SO OOPS. 60% OF THE TIME. IT'S ONE OF THE MOST GENUINELY UPSETTING THINGS THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME TOO! AND I HATE THAT YOU FEEL THIS SHITTY TOO BUT IDK IT FEELS A LITTLE BETTER TO ME THAT AT LEAST WE'RE GOING THROUGH IT TOGETHER?

Oakley: OF COURSE I TOLD HER, I COULDN'T STAND CORRECTLY BEING CALLED MEAN SO DAMN, JUST LOST A FRIENDSHIP THERE I'M SURE, IN ADDITION TO YOURS, AND AS SOON AS NOVA FINDS OUT I USED HER OTHER FRIEND I'LL PROBABLY LOSE HER TOO SO IDK WHY I *SHOULDN'T* BECOME A HERMIT! BEING MEAN IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO ME, ALL I HAVE TO OFFER IS MY NICENESS AND GOOD VIBES! I NEVER WOULD'VE THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT BUT WOW. WOW WOW WOW. I *DO* WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY ALL THE TIME THOUGH, I SHOULD! BECAUSE OTHERWISE I'M JUST, IDK, A NUISANCE? OBNOXIOUS? USELESS? EMERY DOESN'T SUCK AND SHE DIDN'T DESERVE ME BEING A DICK TO HER, UGH. UGH UGH. I'M THE WORST.

Oakley: I'm really sorry for messing it up too. Do you think... like is there a chance we can unmess things, do you think?

Myrcella: SERIOUSLY? 95% OF THE TIME. I GUESS? IT WOULD DEFINITELY DEFINITELY SUCK WAY WORSE IF ONE OF US WAS INSANELY CHILL AND BREEZY ABOUT THIS WHOLE THONG NOW.

Myrcella: FIRST OF ALL, EMERY WAS ENTIRELY TOO QUICK TO AGREE TO GO OUT WITH YOU FOR THAT DAY AND BE FULLY DISGUSTING, HOW SOON AFTER YOU TOLD HER YOU DON'T LIKE HER? I SOMEHOW DOUBT SHE HAS THE NERVE TO SAY YOU CAN'T BE FRIENDS ANYMORE. SECONDLY, THE MOST NOVA MIGHT DO WOULD BE SMACKING YOU WITH A FRYING PAN. BECAUSE THAT'S JUST WHO SHE IS. SO YOU SHOULDN'T BE A HERMIT BECAUSE THEY'LL BOTH MISS YOU TOO. YOU WERE NOT THAT MEAN. YOU STILL WOULD'VE GOTTEN THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF YOU ON THE ISLE EVEN AT YOUR MEANEST, IF THAT HELPS? IT'S NOT THAT WOW, BUT OK. THEN DO THAT AND QUIT WHINING ABOUT WANTING TO BE A HERMIT, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT MAKES NO ONE HAPPY. YOU'RE NONE OF THOSE WORDS ANYWAY! SHE DOES, BUT YOU'RE RIGHT. Q U I T IT! YOU'RE THE second BEST!

Oakley: I DON'T KNOW, THE KIND OF GIRL I HOPED LIKED ME?! YOU'RE BASICALLY PERFECT TOO, HALF THE TIME! AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME BE GROSS WITH EMERY, THAT'S WHY I'M DOING IT, BUT YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S MEAN. AND THAT MAKES ME A MEAN PERSON, AND I HATE MEAN PEOPLE, SO I HATE MYSELF NOW. HAPPY?! WELL... GOOD. AT LEAST WE BOTH CARE TOO MUCH.

Oakley: NO. BUT I GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT BECAUSE I TOLD HER, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE MEAN ANYMORE AND IF BEING MEAN ONE LAST TIME DOES IT, WHATEVER, I'LL RIP THE BAND-AID OFF. I THOUGHT BEING MEAN WOULD MAKE ME FEEL BETTER BUT IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO NEVER TRY DOING ANYTHING EVER AGAIN AND GET A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS AND BECOME A HERMIT AND LOSE ALL MY FRIENDS AND REASON FOR LIVING. YOU DID? OH WOW. THAT'S... SURPRISING THAT YOU DID BUT WOW. AND NO, I DON'T DESERVE TO EXIST! BECAUSE ALL I WANT IS TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY AND I CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT! I'M NOT ACTIVELY WORKING AGAINST THAT TO MAKE PEOPLE UPSET AND I'M ONLY GOING TO MAKE EMERY MORE UPSET WHEN I TELL HER THE TRUTH AND I'VE MADE YOU UPSET AND I'M JUST AWFUL NOW! SO HEX ME IF YOU MUST BECAUSE IT'S TRUE, I'M NOT A NOBODY, I'M A MONSTER.

Oakley: I messed things up more, just because I was OFFENDED. So like. No. I'm definitely the worse one here. I couldn't hate you for this even if I wanted to, believe me. It'd be so much easier to hate you but I can't. I won't.

Oakley: I do. Like you more than you hurt me. Which is confusing but true.

Myrcella: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU HOPE FOR. 85% OF THE TIME, BUT YOU'RE MAD AT ME SO OK. I'M NOT HAPPY. THIS IS GENUINELY ONE OF THE MOST UPSETTING THINGS THAT HAS /EVER/ HAPPENED TO ME. IT FEELS LIKE THATS THE OPPOSITE OF GOOD.

Myrcella: YOU TOLD HER? REALLY!? PLEASE DON'T BE A HERMIT IN THE WOODS WITH NO REASON FOR LIVING. BEING MEAN ISN'T GREAT BUT IT'S NOT THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN TO YOU EITHER. YEAH. I DIDN'T /KNOW/ RIGHT AWAY. BUT HONESTLY I DON'T LIKE PRANKS, MESSES, OR BEING IMPULSIVE BUT I ALWAYS WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU, KING OF PRANKS, MESSES AND BEING IMPULSIVE. IT'S NOT THAT SURPRISING. YOU TOTALLY DESERVE TO EXIST!!! YOU MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY ALL THE TIME, BUT YOU'RE JUST UPSET. IT'S OK TO NOT WANT TO DO THAT ALL THE TIME! ALSO, EMERY SUCKS SO IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO FEEL ANYTHING ABOUT THAT ONE. I'M NOT GOING TO HEX YOU...YET. BUT YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER!!!!!!!

- what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone

Em.

- what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone

- what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone

Say So - Doja Cat (Default)

- my muse’s last text to your muse

Oakley: THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, YOU'RE GREAT! YOU'RE JUST KILLING ME! AND I'M NOT BEING MEAN, HOW AM I HURTING YOU IF YOU HAD ALREADY DECIDED YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE WITH ME?! BUT I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT, BECAUSE I'M ANGRY AND APPARENTLY ANGRY ME IS CAPABLE OF STUFF I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT. SO SHOULD I THANK YOU FOR ACTUALLY GIVING ME A REASON TO HATE MYSELF?! BECAUSE I DO NOW, NOT THAT YOU CARE! I WISH YOU DID. I CARE SO MUCH THAT I THINK I MIGHT DROWN IN IT. IT HURTS SO BAD TO KNOW YOU DON'T CARE TOO.

Oakley: I DON'T WANT TO LIKE A MEAN PERSON EITHER, HENCE TRYING TO LIKE EMERY INSTEAD! EVERY COUPLE STARTS OUT NOT LIKING EACH OTHER THAT WAY AT SOME POINT BUT IT GROWS, AND ITS NOT MEAN TO EMERY IF I *DO* END UP FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER. AND I WANT TO! I'D LIKE TO ACTUALLY MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY IF THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE! I WANT TO BE IN LOVE SO BADLY AND SHE'S THE ONLY GIRL THAT LOVES ME SO MAYBE I CAN BE THE KIND OF PERSON SHE NEEDS, BECAUSE IF I CAN'T BE THE GUY THE ONLY TWO GIRLS WHO HAVE EVER LIKED ME NEED, MAYBE I'M NOBODY AND DON'T DESERVE TO EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE! BUT SURE, IT MAKES *ME* FEEL BETTER THAT I GAVE YOU A REASON TO HATE ME TOO, BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU HATED ME FOR NO REASON AND RUINED THE CHANCE OF US FOR NO REASON, AND THINKING THAT HURTS WAY MORE. AT LEAST NOW I CAN BLAME SOMEONE, EVEN IF ITS JUST ME, FOR YOU HATING ME.

Oakley: But please don't actually hate me. Please. I'll try to get over whatever I'm feeling right now if you don't really hate me. Because I'm pretty sure I miss you more than I'm mad at you right now. Do you miss me at all??

Oakley: Ignore that.

Oakley: Or don't, I don't know. I don't care. I'm so close to being so done with literally everything.

Oakley: What does depression feel like?

Oakley: What does losing your MIND feel like?!

Oakley: WHY do I still like you so much when you're making me feel like such crap?!

Myrcella: THE KILLING YOU THING IS WRONG WITH ME!!! WHAT KIND OF GIRL LIKES SOMEONE LIKE YOU AND ACTS THE WAY I DID? YOU'RE BASICALLY PERFECT. HALF THE TIME. YOU'RE BEING MEAN. JUST BECAUSE I'M TOO MUCH OF A WIMP TO LIKE...LET MYSELF WANT TO BE WITH YOU DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO SEE YOU BEING THE ABSOLUTE GROSSEST COUPLE WITH EMERY. WHAT? HOW AM I MAKING YOU HATE YOURSELF? AND STOP SAYING I DON'T FUCKING CARE, OAKLEY. AS HARD AS I'M TRYING TO NOT CARE AND GET OVER YOU, IT'S LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE. I CARE ENTIRELY TOO MUCH REALLY.

Myrcella: MAKING YOURSELF LIKE EMERY ISN'T BEING NICE? NOT NICE TO HER AND ESPECIALLY NOT NICE TO YOURSELF. I DOUBT EMERY HAS MUCH SELF RESPECT, BUT DO YOU REALLY THINK SHE'D LIKE KNOWING THAT YOU'RE BASICALLY FORCING YOURSELF TO MAYBE GROW TO LOVE HER SOMEDAY? BUT HEY, IF THAT'S YOUR COUPLE LOGIC THEN MAYBE THAT'S ANOTHER REASON WHY WE'D NEVER WORK, I LIKED YOU AS SOON AS WE MET AND IT'S ONLY GOTTEN WORSE. YOU KNOW EMERY ISN'T THE ONLY GIRL THAT LOVES YOU AND WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW HAPPY YOU PLAN ON MAKING HER! OAKLEY QUIT IT! YOU DESERVE TO EXIST. FIRST OF ALL OUTSIDE OF ANY GIRL INVOLVEMENT, YOU MAKE A LOT OF PEOPLE VERY HAPPY AND I HATE IT WHEN YOU SELL YOURSELF SHORT LIKE THAT. AND SECONDLY, THERE IS NO UNIVERSE IN WHICH YOU OAKLEY OAKEN, ARE A NOBODY. AND IF I TRUSTED MYSELF NOT TO ACCIDENTALLY GO OVERBOARD, I'D DEFINITELY HEX YOU FOR EVEN SAYING THAT.

Myrcella: I don't hate you yet and I miss you too. I do hate that I messed everything up so bad. If anyone here needs to be hated it's me. I should've girled the hell up and told you how I felt as soon as you started asking about it and we would've been so happy right now. No hurt feelings, no bullshit or internal chaos. If anyone here needs to be the focus of all your hate it should be me. But please don't.

Oakley: YOU DIDN'T *HAVE* TO SAY IT, IF THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME, WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO BE DATING ME?! I'M SORRY YOUR PLAN GOT FUCKED UP BUT MAYBE ALL THAT MEANS IS THAT I'M BETTER THAN ANYTHING YOU COULD'VE IMAGINED AND MAYBE THAT'S WHAT YOU DESERVED BUT WHATEVER, IF YOU HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF TO DO THAN LIKE A GUY WHO LIKED YOU BACK, STAY BUSY, JERK. OKAY, SO?! I HURT YOU BECAUSE I WAS HURT!

Oakley: NOT YET BUT MAYBE I COULD. I HOPE I LEARN TO! BECAUSE I KNOW *SHE* WOULD NEVER HURT ME, ACCIDENTALLY OR ON PURPOSE!

Myrcella: BECAUSE CLEARLY THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. MAYBE. BUT YOU'RE ALSO THE BOY THAT HURTS ME ON PURPOSE NOW, SO MORE THAN LIKELY MAYBE NOT. SO THAT MAKES YOU A MEAN BOY, OAKLEY.

Tank: Everyone needs a buddy! I'm a buddy! But a tired buddy, so I can't hang out right now, sorry.

Tank: Damn, it's too early for you to be rude. Why you gotta be like this?