Limbo Stalking

"Exactly, my wife was aboard the Aurora when it exploded. She has burn and shrapnel scars on 70% of her body"

I am struggling with so much in life and those close to me say that can't help anymore. I can't clean my own house, I can't organize my own mind, I can't do that projects that I have been dying to start. I am in long-term executive paralysis and I am almost to my wits end about it all. I just want to throw away all of my belongings and pack up my car and run away.

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I smoke way too cigarettes and drink way too much caffeine.

Even though #madlikeclockwork Even with everything I know I'm drowing without a lifeguard I'm burning without a firefighter I'm lost at sea without a Viking I cannot be angry that I was not The one you chose I cannot be angry that it was The shallows you chose Versus my deep ocean eyes https://www.instagram.com/p/Cov5g5pMGBB/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

The song is called Hell and You by Amigo the Devil #goodbye #freeverse #madlikeclockwork That was my favorite song before I met you. Now I can't listen to it with nausea in my throat. Now I can't listen to it without pain in the storms that are my eyes. I will never wish that e never met, but I'll feel much better when we're strangers again. https://www.instagram.com/p/CovZLkcJeii/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Strength #thoughts #poetry #madlikeclockwork You may not be able to handle me at my unhappy and my anxious. You may not think I'm enough or even too much. But I know I am just right and I handle me through everything so that makes me stronger than you. https://www.instagram.com/p/CoqOilaJRmE/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

I'm a monster #poetry #madlikeclockwork My claws can tear out your demons and keep them safe inside my darkness. A place they can't escape as long as you protect me from this world. This world is burning and I am like a torch seeking a flame. I need strong arms to hold me in the early hours of the day. I need a hand holding my face while it's master kisses me slowly. Lips that travel the whole expanse of my thighs. Teeth that escape their cage to find themselves in my flesh. A calming storm that holds me tight and listens to me ramble while I dance in its rain. https://www.instagram.com/p/CopF8GEOS6c/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

I am me Part 2/4 #poetry #madlikeclockwork I am a pain in the ass. I am loud and weird as fuck. I will always make you laugh. I am cursed with feeling things so deeply. My pain is written on my bones. I would never die for anyone but fuck I would live a thousand years. I am all love with a bit of wildfire and hurricane sprinkled into my veins. There is a depth in my calm. There is a method in my madness. There is light in my darkness. I am loyal to a fault. I give too many chances and cry too many tears before I walk away. My laugh is a whirlpool dripping with hope. I am limitless comfort; a graveyard of hope. Haunted by the past, awaiting new arrivals. I'm done settling for people who are not absolutely and insanely happy to be with me. When pain is your pleasure, demons and saints look the same. A crescendo in the making. https://www.instagram.com/p/CopFnWpOb5E/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

I am me Part 1/4 #poetry #madlikeclockwork I am incredible. I am strong. I am wise and intelligent. I am beautiful. I am a badass. I am not half of anything. I am the whole fucking universe. I am a gentle warrior. I have been hurt and broken. I understand fear and pain. I understand being hurt by others. I just want to matter. To one person. Someone who isn't afraid of what I have to offer. A viking with a good heart and strong arms to protect me from the world and myself. I may seem like a lot to most people, but it's just my minds way off filling the darkness with some good. I don't want to play house. I want to build one with someone one day. A metaphorical castle with loyalty mixed into the mortar. https://www.instagram.com/p/CopFeJGuclg/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=