Coffee makes sense but blogs do not

it's been very challenging to learn how to drop that, because since i was a very small chile i've been putting on comfortable affectations. it's become important instead to fall back on the big things, like femininity and an abiding love of light and sound

i put myself into a stall when i let myself stop being obsessed with sound for the sake of comfort, and instead of being straightforward about it and connecting authentically, continued to engage with other sound-obsessed people as if i were an unchanging character. i mean that's such a pattern, alongside the sharp avoidance of the unknown, that i could trace it back pretty far, but hey! it's been all i've known, because oughh. i never really had a chance to live without feeling like i couldn't trust other people with my embarrassing Feelings Secrets, and instead i prevaricated and professed to be fine, then took those feelings to my little nest and talked them out with myself, the flawed and silly solitary voice of wisdom privy to my thoughts so HMMMM yeah.... that scans