madarmy

He must give it to them. Tony’s entire family had gone on a vacation and the both of them had come back married.

The media couldn’t really question why they hadn’t called the other Avengers to the wedding when it was clearly shown as an impromptu wedding. Steve knew better.

So now, just within a year Tony and Strange were married and Steve had become numb.

But he was also stubborn. The fact that Tony had gotten divorced despite 5 years of marriage still gave him hope.

His mind kept whispering that this was not the same, that Tony and Strange were different but he ignored it. Tony was the only one he wanted now, and he would wait however long he needed to see it happen.

How come Steve had still failed to realize that his stubbornness often led to pain?

It was not the closeness between Strange and Tony, or their engagement, or even their wedding that made Steve accept that he could never be by Tony’s side.

It was this moment that changed everything.

The fight had come out of nowhere. Strange had just retired from a mission in the morning.

Alarms had gone off in the afternoon. It was an interdimensional threat. All of them had to get into the fight. It had been intense. The creatures were relentless and vicious. All of them were fighting with everything they had. The destruction and injuries were piling. And due to the threat being interdimensional, Strange who was already exhausted from the previous mission had been in the center of it all.

Steve was in the middle of decapitating one of the creatures when Tony’s scream reached his ear.

Heart thundering in his chest, he looked up ready to protect Tony, only to see Tony in the air, Dr Strange limp in his arms. Steve watched as Rhodes circled around Tony protecting him as the Iron Man armour lowered itself and placed Strange on the ground. Immediately blood could be seen oozing from Strange’s side. Steve could see the way Tony’s hand shook as he shot nanobots to block the bleeding. Tony’s face plate was up, and the look of rage on Tony’s face was something Steve had never seen. His jaw was set, his entire body taught, eyes shining with fury, with anguish, with love.

Steve watched as Tony brought one hand to Strange’s face for a moment and then the face plate was closed. The Iron Man armour looked more menacing than it had ever had before.

With Strange lying in the middle Tony, Rhodey, Wong and Spider-Man stood on four sides, the cloak covering Strange protectively.

The four of them made a terrifying sight. Steve’s eyes however were stuck on Tony.

He had never seen Tony this furious. This was Tony’s protectiveness, his anger if someone dared to hurt the one he loved. Steve couldn’t look away if he tried.

As Steve fought with the aliens that came at him, he watched as the four stood tall around Strange and in the next moment, Steve’s eyes widened as the Iron Man armour lashed out with magic in combination with his repulsor blasts.

Magic

Tony was using magic.

Tony knew how to use magic.

Tony learned magic.

Tony who had hated everything related to magic for years.

That same Tony had learnt magic and the reason for that was lying behind Tony. The person whom Tony was trying to protect. The person for whom Tony looked ready to destroy everything. The person whose one injury had turned Tony into the embodiment of fury.

Tony had learned magic for Strange. He had learned magic so that he could protect the one he loved.

This Tony who was bathed in the glow of technology and magic, this Tony seemed … unreachable, untouchable.

Steve couldn’t reach this Tony. Couldn’t be by this Tony’s side because Tony had chosen Stephen. It was not because Strange saved him. This was not some high of emotions due to life-death situations. This was Tony and his love for Strange. There was no going back from this love. Tony would never allow anything to come between them. And while Stephen might have known and loved Tony over millions of lives, and he didn’t know how, but today he could see that Tony’s love was just as potent.

There was no place for Steve in Tony’s life. The place belonged to Stephen Strange. Will always belong to him.

Steve had been defeated. And this time he accepted this defeat.

End Notte -

So, this is it folks.

How was it?

Did you notice, how Rogers never quite apologized even here?

Also, if anyone is curious, when Tony snapped, the time stone showed him all the millions of lives, Stephen had seen before. Therefore, Tony too was as much in love as Stephen was.

If you have any questions, you can ask in the comments.

Let me know if you liked the fic. I would love to know if you liked any part specifically.

Just because Strange was more familiar with Tony, did not mean, Tony had the same amount of familiarity with Strange. Tony hadn’t gone through millions of lives with Strange. In fact, Steve had more history with Tony than Strange did.

This thought kept him going. Gave life to his will to be the one by Tony’s side.

It didn’t last for long.

It had been 11 months since Thanos. The world was getting to a better place. So were the Avengers.

One day Steve entered the common area only to see all of Tony’s family, surprisingly including Nebula, sitting in a circle, numerous snacks and drinks occupied the space in the center. It vaguely seemed like some sort of celebration. Because every single one of them was present. Even Wong.

And all of them looked so happy that Steve wondered what could be the occasion. Was it someone’s birthday?

As they saw him approach everyone’s smile turned a bit sharp, everyone’s except Tony, whose smile turned fake making Steve’s heart heavy. He ignored it.

“Is this a celebration? What’s the occasion?” Steve asked, biting his tongue to stop himself from mentioning the fact that Steve’s friends were distinctly absent. “Is it someone’s birthday?”

Steve’s curiosity grew as everyone looked at each other and seemed to reach a unanimous conclusion.

“Nothing Mr Rogers. Nothing special.” Pepper said with a smile, that could only be described as mocking.

Steve had a distinct feeling that, that is all he was going to get out of them.

How he wished he could be a part of this. Could be the one sitting by Tony’s side the way Strange was.

Instinctively Steve glanced at Tony who was tucked tight into Strange’s side, taking a sip of his drink. And that is when Steve noticed it. There was a ring on Tony’s finger. His gaze immediately snapped to Strange’s hand which was unusually gloves-free and Steve felt the ground fall from beneath his feet because Strange too had a ring on his hand.

This was a celebration. A celebration of Tony’s engagement.

But how? Why? Steve didn’t understand.

Slowly he looked up at Strange’s face which was set in a challenging smirk that made Steve’s stomach drop even further.

Strange knew. Strange knew about Steve’s feelings for Tony. Strange knew. And now Tony and Strange were engaged. Tony had gotten engaged in just six months of knowing each other.

Steve felt everyone’s eyes on him. Except Tony who was all of a sudden engaged in a conversation with the cloak.

Steve looked at all of them, and the smug yet angry faces made him realize that all of them knew.

Without a word, Steve fled.

How could Tony do this? Strange, he understood, Tony, he did not understand at all. He had spent years before proposing to Pepper. How could he get engaged to Strange so quickly? Was it due to the circumstances in which they met? Was it because Strange saved him?

Everything was lost. Now Tony and Strange were engaged. Steve could do nothing. Nothing!

He came to a halt as a thought hit him. If Tony had gotten engaged because of being high on emotions…perhaps there was a chance this wouldn’t last. After all, if Tony’s and Pepper’s marriage fell apart because of their differences, Tony and Strange despite being in tune with each other now would certainly not last long considering how strong and destructive their personalities were.

Yeah, not all was lost. Steve just had to keep going.

End note - And they are engaged folks!!! 🥳🥳🥳.Please do let me know if you liked any part of it, it really makes me happy. Thank you in advance🖤

The boy was all sunshine and rainbows normally, but the moment he came across any member of Steve’s team, his eyes turned the kind of frosty that made it difficult to talk with the boy because, a face that was so smiley and bubbly and eyes that were shooting daggers, was too nerve-wracking.

Strange on the other didn’t even bother to put on much of a front. The most he seemed to willing to extend to them was civil conversation. Only in Tony’s presence. However anytime they had to interact, his face turned serious, his eyes frostier than Peter’s, his low tone a warning in on and of itself despite the civility of his words. The man hated them and his face did nothing to hide that fact.

As if all of this hadn’t been bad, soon another set of frosty eyes joined the mix with the arrival of one Harley Keener.

Steve hadn’t known that besides Peter Parker, Tony had another overprotective child. The fact was Steve barely managed to have any conversations with Tony as it was. Now though it became even more difficult with the constant glares the new kid sent his way as if he was constantly reminding Steve that he knew what Steve had done.

The kid was dangerous. And the trio of Peter Parker, Stephen Strange and Harley Keener was even more so.

Every other time Steve was around, the boys would talk about all the things Tony had done, all his inventions, how powerful he was, and how strong his suit was. It was a warning, a reminder to back off.

There was one particular conversation he had mistakenly- who was he trying to fool, he was meant to hear that- heard where both the boys talked about how they wished they could deal with all the people who had ever gone against their mentor. They had taken names like Stane, Wanko, Killian and had added ‘some other assholes’ with emphasis and Steve had heard about the first three but didn’t know the details, but it was clear to Steve who those particular assholes were. He had felt too ashamed to be added to the list of Tony’s enemies.

Harley Keener however hadn’t been done with Steve yet.

One particular morning just as Steve was entering the common area, he heard Harley talking with someone.

“You really love Dad, don’t you?”

Dad? Tony. Steve didn’t know Harley called Tony dad. It took a second for him to process the second detail in that question. Love. He was talking about love. From his calculations, Strange and Tony had been together for only 3 months now. Someone like Tony and Strange couldn’t fall in love so soon.

“Yes, I do.” Steve heard Strange state in a confident voice.

Steve’s stomach dropped.

“That’s good. As Tony’s son, I must ask you, do you promise to protect him? What would you do if someone thought about hurting my dad?” Harley inquired further. Now Steve was sure this was no coincidence. He was meant to hear this.

“Your dad is too powerful to require protection from me.” Strange started, “But Tony is someone I cherish more than anyone in this world. You know what I am capable of.”

Steve was painfully aware of just how strong Strange was. Steve knew he could never compete with that level of magic and intelligence, despite his serum-enhanced body.

“If anyone dares to hurt Tony,” Steve felt a chill run down his spine at the sudden rage he could hear in Strange’s voice, “they would understand what millions of lives of experience in magic look like. They would experience hell on earth and I will make sure they will regret even thinking about Tony.” Strange finished with a hiss.

With his heart hammering in his chest Steve turned away. These were the people Steve had to get through if he ever wished to be by Tony’s side. But how?

With his mind spinning with what he had overheard, one thing had become clear. Strange’s devotion towards Tony did not stem from the few months that they had spent together. It stemmed from all of the millions of outcomes he had seen on Titan. How could he have forgotten that little detail?

Although Tony’s familiarity with Strange still did not make sense, Strange’s behaviour made sense now. All his love and anger made sense now.

How could he compete with that? He wished to. He will try to. But how?

End note - Why do you think Tony seems to know Stephen as intimately as Stephen knows him? Let me know you guesses in the comment ;)🖤

Some aliens had attacked New York. Again. This time they had come through some magic portal. All of the aliens were powerful, they didn’t have much weapons but Steve could describe them as alien super soldiers because they were stronger than Steve and Bucky, and more agile. Thus, fighting them was not an easy task. All hands were on deck.

The fight had been a blur so far. He hit, he dodged, he hit, he dodged and in one particular moment he got one of the aliens on its back, straddled it to hold it down, his hands raised high with his shield ready to bring it down on the enemy’s neck…and for a second, in place of the alien, he saw Tony…Tony with betrayal and hurt and fear in his eyes. As if in a trance he brought down the shield and scrambled away from the body. He found himself back in Siberia. With his mind completely trapped in that bunker Steve got through the fight, through the briefing, eyes unable to look at anyone, in fear that he would see the one face he couldn’t face right now. As everyone trickled out of the conference room, Steve sat unmoving.

His mind swapped the face of the alien with Tony’s face in a loop.

What difference had he made between an enemy and Tony back then? None.

He had fought Tony the way he had fought his enemies. No. Not the same.

He had fought Tony even more viciously than he had fought any of his enemies.

Why? Because Tony had dared to feel hurt and betrayed after seeing his parents being murdered brutally, having the murderer stand right beside him? Had dared to lash out when he had realized that his team-mate - ‘He is my friend’ ‘So was I’- someone he had considered a friend had lied to his face for years, all for protecting his own friend?

With every second Steve’s horror grew as the realization of all that he had done to save one man crashed over him.

He had fought against innocent officers who were merely following orders, he had rampaged amongst civilians, had thrown a civilian out of his car, had crashed a bridge…how many people had been injured because of him…how many had died? How could he have done this to innocents in the crusade to save one man?

He was your friend. His mind whispered. Steve shook with shame. How did it matter? Did it justify all his actions? All the destruction he had caused?

He had turned on half of his team. He had turned on Tony. He had gathered a team to fight against Tony. Had turned a deaf ear to all the ways Tony was trying to help them, help him. Instead, he had fought against them like enemies.

While he was trying to save his own best friend, Tony’s best friend was paralyzed because of him…

Steve held his head in his hands. What had he done?

How could he have fought Tony in that bunker? Why hadn’t he tried to understand Tony who was grieving for his brother, for his parents? Why had he thought it was right to look at Tony as an enemy? How had he turned into a stone in the face of the pain shining in Tony’s eyes?

How could he have beaten Tony down along with Bucky without any mercy? How could he have not died in shame on the spot at the look of betrayal and fear in Tony’s eyes as he had brought down the shield?

Why had he walked away from him? Why had he left him alone in that cold bunker?

Why had Steve turned into a monster, if Tony despite his grief and pain had been able to hold back?

Because Tony had held back, Steve realized with a shudder.

All of these years Steve had refused to acknowledge just how powerful Tony was.

Today with Siberia playing on a loop in his head, he had observed Tony’s fighting subconsciously. It had become so painfully clear that Tony had held back when Steve saw the way Tony took on five aliens stronger than Steve at once, his suit a messenger of death as it tore through these powerful beings without much effort. This is what Tony had always been capable of. Even with his old suits.

But Tony hadn’t fought that way in the bunker. He hadn’t fought them like they were his enemies despite everything. Tony had always been a better man than Steve ever could be. Tony had spared their lives. He had held back. Steve hadn’t. Until the last moment, Tony had kept their friendship in mind. Steve hadn’t. And that had been the last straw for Tony.

And all of it had been Steve’s fault.

As Steve sat slumped at the conference table, head in his hands and tears in his eyes, he realized that there was no forgiveness for him.

End note - Please do let me know if you liked any part of it, it really makes me happy. Thank you in advance🖤

His mind kept telling him that if Tony parted ways with a woman he had known for years and was married to for five years, then there was a possibility that a few months old relationship with Strange might not hold strong for long.

While his mind whispered all of this, his eyes were witnessing things that were farther from that.

Ever since that afternoon, Steve would get to be a witness of random moments between Strange and Tony. He would have thought both of them would like to keep their affections private. But it was clear that neither of them was hesitant to be affectionate whenever they wished, wherever they wished. Every time Steve witnessed it, his heart broke a little further.

A few days after the revelation, Steve walked into the kitchen only to see Strange perched on top of the counter as Tony cooked breakfast for him. Tony spared a moment to greet Steve like usual and then diverted his attention back to his pancakes and his partner.

Steve couldn’t control the jealousy that flared within him. All of this could have been his. Morning soft Tony, with his mussed-up hair, sleepy smiles, and loving eyes…all of this could have been his if only Strange hadn’t entered the picture. He would have done anything and everything to get it, to get Tony but now Strange stood between them.

Steve shot a glare at the man who was completely tuned into Tony. However…the cape around his shoulders looked distinctly like it was looking at Steve.

Yes, he was aware that the cape was sentient. That did not mean Steve did not feel irked to be stared down by a piece of fabric.

To make it worse the staring seemed to soon turn into a glare to match Steve’s own and in the same moment the cape softly nudged Strange’s face in Steve’s direction and he wasn’t fast enough to cover the look of jealousy or the glare that had overtaken his face.

If the glare from the cloak had been eerie then the look of realization and anger that overtook those sharp features sent a chill down Steve’s spine.

Steve glanced away.

That was just the beginning. Every other day, Steve would get to witness some or the other proof of Tony and Strange’s relationship.

One day he walked into the movie night that all the Avengers participated in and saw Strange and Tony cuddled together with Morgan on Strange’s lap. The way Tony’s daughter was so comfortable with Strange further broke Steve’s hope.

One day the team had gathered together to relax after a particularly vicious mission. All of them had been stretched thin across days and today they had finally tied up all the loose ends. There had been some close calls. Considering the attacks had been airborne Tony, Stephen, Rhodey, and Sam had been the ones in most danger. Everyone was exhausted and a little traumatized. Hence everyone gathered together.

Steve had seen how weary and shaken Tony had looked by the end of it. He had talked with Tony to calm him down, but he knew he hadn’t been able to help much. Therefore, he was determined to talk to him now.

With this goal in mind, Steve walked into the common area where everyone had made themselves comfortable, only to find Strange and Tony standing away from everyone, in front of the large glass windows, Strange stood behind Tony as the smaller man leaned against him. Both the figures were tightly wrapped by the cloak as they gazed at the dark sky.

Steve felt his heart ache something vicious at the sight. How he wished to be able to comfort Tony this way. To be the reason why the stress of the whole day was replaced by this peace that had settled on Tony’s face. But he wasn’t. It was Dr Strange.

With a heavy heart, Steve settled on the sofa.

Such moments became more common over the days, Steve would see Strange and Tony making something in the kitchen, he would see them come out of the lab together, he would see them playing games with Peter and Morgan and Rhodey and Happy and Wong and Pepper and sometimes even Ms Palmer. Some days he would see them leave the facility together only to see the numerous photos of their dates plastered across the front pages the next day. He would see them bicker and banter and see nothing but love shining in their eyes. He couldn’t help but notice how their bickering never turned into something that thinly veiled insults and accusations and manipulations.

He would more often than not see Tony and Strange engage in conversations that flew right over Steve’s head and he would once again be reminded of how compatible they were with each other.

He would see the way Tony and Strange now showed off their relationship in the Galas, how one of them always had a hand resting on the other’s back, how they would support each other, how like Tony, Strange managed to handle the tricky social word and the media so efficiently, something Steve knew he wouldn’t ever be able to do.

What Strange and Tony had was different because Tony in this particular relationship was different. He was more free, more comfortable, he laughed more and he accepted whatever Strange gave him freely. There was no hesitation, no fear, no insecurity.

One particular incident that proved this was when Tony’s ankle was injured badly during a mission. And while the old Tony would have dragged himself around by himself because of how badly he hated needing help or showing any signs of vulnerability (because of people like you, people like Howard, his mind whispered accusingly) this time to everyone’s surprise, a laughing and giggling Tony was seen being happily carried bridal style by Strange with the cloak’s support from one place to another in the facility, something that Steve would have never thought Tony would allow. There was one particular incident where Steve had seen Tony, sitting on the cape Aladdin Style, being carried to the kitchen as he worked on his tab. That had seemed quite surreal. The whole thing confirmed to Steve that Tony was willing to give Strange those parts of himself that he had never given away to anyone else.

Alas, all these incidences made sure to trample all over Steve’s heart.

Constantly he was puzzled by the level of devotion the two had for each other. They seemed more in tune with each other than even Pepper and Tony and that puzzled Steve even further. How come two people who had known each other only for months could be so protective and possessive over the other?

Steve didn’t understand. How come Tony was so comfortable with Strange and his friends? Why hadn’t Tony been as comfortable with the old Avengers when they had been through even life-death situations together?

You know the reason

His mind whispered treacherously.

Every day Steve would see Tony thrive in this new family he had built for himself. He would feel his heart fill with regret when not even once would Tony’s light be dimmed around his old family like it always had before with them. He felt bitter and ashamed looking at these new people like Strange, Ms. Palmer, and Wong who seemed to understand and respect Tony more than any of the old Avengers had managed in years.

It had always been so easy to be loved by Tony. But they hadn’t deserved that love.

End note - Please do let me know if you liked any part of it, it really makes me happy. Thank you in advance🖤

Unbidden, a thought came to Steve’s mind. Who was Tony going with today? Because Tony and Pepper were no longer together. Just within 3 months of the snap Pepper and Tony had taken a divorce with mutual agreement. And hadn’t that been the biggest shock since Thanos for Steve?

He had wondered what went wrong. Perhaps everything with Thanos combined with Tony’s near death had been the last straw. Alas, the news had shaken him and had sent his feelings and thoughts into a frenzy. On one hand, his heart hurt for Tony, the man never seemed to get a break, on the other hand, the part of him that was still very much in love with the man felt relieved. Perhaps he was selfish. But he couldn’t control his heart.

Hence, he couldn’t help but wonder that now that Tony was not with Pepper, who would he go with?

The answer was no one.

Tony Stark decked in a beautiful grey suit arrived at the gala, alone, looking as stunning as ever despite the scars marking his face and the sheen of metal that encased his right arm. He looked breathtaking and Steve found it exceedingly difficult to take in at least one full breath.

While Steve was trying to get a grip, to everyone’s surprise, Pepper Potts arrived with a beautiful woman.

Both women formed a formidable image with their beauty and grace and the sheer aura of competence and authority they exuded. As Steve observed them, it was clear that they were not here together as dates for just the Gala but rather were actually together, or at least getting there.

Steve felt uncomfortable with the thought that just after 2 months of divorce Pepper was already moving on.

The entire situation puzzled him. Because Tony and Pepper didn’t behave much differently. They still talked freely with each other. Seemed to have no bitter feelings toward each other. However, the romantic side of the relationship was surely absent. In such a short span of time, how did Tony manage to move on? That was a mystery.

From what Steve knew of Tony, he had always loved Pepper. When Tony loved, he loved with his all. How was he alright now that he had lost the love of his life?

Two months are surely not enough to put everything aside. There should have been at least lingering pain in Tony’s eyes. While he could see hints of guilt in them, pain or longing was certainly not there.

For months now Steve had been puzzled with everything that was going on around Tony.

Ignoring all this confusion for the time being, Steve readied himself to approach Tony. With Pepper out of the picture, he was ready to gain Tony’s friendship again…if he was lucky, even something more.

Before Steve could approach Tony who had just been freed from a conversation with one of the guests, he saw Tony glance at the door and a brilliant smile overtook the man’s face as none other than Dr Stephen Strange entered the Gala dressed in a midnight blue tux.

Immediately Strange made a beeline for Tony whose smile hadn’t deemed a bit. And Steve suddenly felt the same pang of jealousy he always felt when Strange was with Tony.

All hopes Steve had of approaching Tony were dashed the moment Strange reached Tony and both of them formed their own little bubble which no one other than Pepper and the lady with her could penetrate. From time to time they would talk with a guest, both in perfect tune with each other but besides that, no one could reach them. Especially not Steve.

He would have thought them lovers, but besides Tony’s usual level of flirting, never once did they touch each other in any way that would indicate any romantic connection and neither did they take the dance floor unlike Pepper and her partner.

Steve felt relieved. This man was not Tony’s love interest then. If he had been then Tony would have definitely made it obvious.

Perhaps a friend. If Colonel Rhodes had been present, he would have most likely been in the man’s place, standing tall by Tony’s side.

Steve wished he could also be someone like that. Someone who could be by Tony’s side as Tony navigated through such Galas, someone who Tony could turn to for relief when all of this got too much. Someone he could rely on; someone he could trust. Right now, it was Dr Strange. He hoped that one day it would be him.

The next day of the Gala Steve gathered from the newspaper that Pepper’s new partner is one Dr. Christine Palmer, a Trauma surgeon. Also Dr. Stephen Strange’s ex and best friend. That would explain how they might have met. Steve couldn’t deny that they did make a lovely couple.

With the news, thoughts of Tony entered his mind again. It was an endless cycle these days. His mind and heart going at war with each other as to whether he should approach Tony with more insistence or not. As soon as the chaos in his mind became too much, Steve picked himself up and carried himself to his only place of solace, the gym, so that he could let his body force his mind to relax.

However, relaxing his mind was of not much use.

After letting all his emotions out on a punching bag, he came up to the common area and immediately froze as his eyes fell on Dr Strange asleep on the sofa, his hands holding tightly onto none other than Tony Stark who was fast asleep on his chest, head tucked into the doctor’s neck, both covered in the red cloak.

It took a moment for Steve to process what he was seeing, only to feel his heart break into tiny pieces the next moment. He fled.

He should have never hoped.

Because while he might have realized the existence of these feelings towards the genius, Tony had always had eyes for Pepper and Pepper alone.

And now he was a married man with a lovely daughter. Steve couldn’t in his right mind wish to be anything other than a friend.

If a stranger like Strange could become a fixture in the man’s life, then Steve who has had a past with him could also become something, if not a friend, then something at least close to it.

He had a kindling of hope because Tony hadn’t been angry or resentful towards him in any of their recent interactions. He might not be a friend to Tony but Tony didn’t treat him like an enemy either.

The fact that Tony spent many days in this new facility that was provided to them for the time being, gave him hope. Because he had thought that once the dust settled down, Tony would avoid him, avoid all of them. Their past could rear its ugly head any time and Tony would shut them out completely.

But seeing Tony roam freely through the compound, and interact normally with everyone (except Wanda who Steve didn’t know where had disappeared to) made him feel that perhaps Tony was not afraid of mending bridges. That he was extending a hand towards him. The Tony he knew would have remained in his area, far from them, or would have avoided any kind of contact beyond emergenies and this Tony was making himself comfortable even in the common areas, sometimes with other members of his family, sometimes with Strange, sometimes by himself and it said something. Something good for Steve.

Steve had been wrong.

Tony’s unusual behaviour did say something but it was certainly not what Steve had thought.

Whatever little hopes he had built over Tony’s free wandering across the facility despite the presence of Steve’s team was shattered when he had the misfortune of overhearing a conversation between Pepper and Strange.

“Tony seems to have made himself comfortable here. Why is Tony behaving so normally around everyone here, Stephen?” Pepper sounded serious.

Steve's forehead creased with confusion. Shouldn’t Pepper be the one in possession of such answers? How come Strange was the one who seemed to know Tony’s reasons? Why did it seem as if these days Strange was closer to Tony than Pepper? Considering the number of days Tony had spent here…

“A lot has happened between them, Pepper.” Strange said in a tone that sounded off.

A lot has happened between them. The words echoed in Steve’s mind. Them meaning Tony and Steve’s team.

That means Strange knew something. Had been allowed to know enough details that enabled him to have views on the matter. Steve felt his stomach drop with the realization that in two weeks Tony trusted this man enough to let him know these things…to let him in on Tony’s feelings and thoughts. The thought sent a pang of heartache and jealousy through Steve. Who was even this man?!

“But, Tony is tired of being weary. Of anyone. He wants to not think about any of it. He can’t forgive them, nor forget any of it. But he has decided that he would not allow that to cage him like he has something to be sorry for, to be wary of, to be insecure about.”

Every word out of Strange’s mouth sent Steve’s stomach plummeting downwards. ‘He can’t forgive them, nor forget any of it.’

Steve felt sick.

“Therefore,” and now Steve could hear a smile in the sorcerer’s voice, “our genius has decided that he will live freely in this facility that he owns. This is his place as much as theirs. He has no reason to hide or be skittish. He is not going to lock himself away or pretend to behave a certain way for their sake or worse, not live the way he wishes to for their sake. Tony’s going to be Tony and he wants us to be the same. This is our space too. No need to hesitate Pepper. Tony is not going to. Neither am I. Neither should any of you.”

Stephen finished with what sounded like pride and was rewarded with Pepper’s tinkling laughter. But Steve…Steve was drowning in shame.

Shame because all of these years they had made sure to make Tony feel like he was not accepted the way he was. Had beaten him down with words and accusations to fit into their expected mould.

Whenever he had shown his own true self, his bright personality, incandescent brilliance, his kindness, his protectiveness, they had beaten him down further until he could no longer be himself.

Why? WHY? WHY? Steve wished to rip his hair with the anger that consumed him.

Anger towards himself for being so crude and condescending. Anger towards SHIELD for being so manipulative. Anger towards his team that was blinded by the hero worship of Captain America.

How could he have done all of this and not realized it?

But now he did. And this was his punishment. This was his penance. This guilt. This shame. This heartbreak.

Tony would never seek any kind of revenge over them.

Because he was finally, truly done with them, done with Steve, and nothing hurt more than that realization.