As far as friendships go, I’m in a strange spot where I have this thought in my head that I can’t get out. It basically screams “HEY THEY DON’T LIKE YOU ANYMORE, NO ONE DOES. THEY NEVER DID.” It’s taken me to this place where I don’t want to hang out with anyone, heck, I don’t even really want to TALK to anyone anymore. At no fault to them, but I just feel like I’m bothering people, like I’m a burden they have to deal with.. Like they dread responding to me.. or even if they ask me to hang out they hope I will say no, because they were just doing it to be nice. I KNOW IT’S NOT LIKE THAT, BUT THAT’S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE, and I HATE it. I’m sure it will pass, I just wish I knew how to help it pass a little quicker. I miss my friends. 

I was also apart of this really cool project thing. that means a lot to me, but again.. I’m having that same ‘no one likes you, they never did’ thought runs through my head. I feel it big time with the group now a days. Even tho the people in the group are my friends.. or were my friends? acquaintances now? I’m not sure, but we are suppose to be like a family, and sometimes it feels like that, but most the time it feels like THEY are all a big family and I’m just like that weird second cousin who just observes everyone else have a good time.. does that make sense? Probably not, I’m not good with words..  I guess the easiest way to explain it is that I always felt like I never reaaaaalllly connected with anyone. Everyone else bonded over things, and are getting really close and I was just kinda always there.. I guess that’s how I am with everything tho.. just kind of there.. its just a weird feeling, and again, I’m sure it will pass in time.