A bit of it all

Honestly, I’m doing my best to keep going. But even the sun gets swallowed up by the moon.

my mother cleans when she is upset so on bad days our house smells like laundry soap and lysol and my father likes to drink a lot so i’m pretty used to pain being chased with a bottle of jameson and i am the product of both of them so when you left i was stuck between bleaching myself out of existence  and drinking to forget i ever existed in the first place i smell like laundry soap and toilet bowls and my  mascara is always waterproof now because it gives me less  to scrub off in  endless showers  where my head spins and  my phone volume is on high because  for some reason i still think you’ll answer just one of my drunk messages don’t you know i have become the life of the party but it hasn’t managed to put the life back into me i mean everything smells like smoke i tried to douse the candles you lit but i’m still fucking burning  and everything tastes like  i should know better and my ears are still ringing from when i first met her i mean i knew she was perfect the moment i saw her smile my mother cleans when she’s upset and ever since she’s seen me like this our house has been fucking spotless.