MECHANICAL HEART.

𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙵𝚄𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝚃𝙴𝙻𝙻 𝚂𝚃𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂 𝙾𝙵 𝚈𝙾𝚄  ,    [  how you rose from the sea  ,    how the waters live in your blood  ,    how you carry the face of a goddess they once loved  ]

                                                                              ❛❛  𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝚆𝙽 𝚈𝙾𝚄  ❜❜

                                                                              HUFFED LAUGH THROUGH SMOKED FILLED         breath  ,    the   colder   air   burning   on   lungs   ;       nights   like   this   it’s   hard   to   catch   a   fucking   break  .       cold   stone   of   the   wall   grating   patterns   into   shoulder   bones  ,     unfelt   anyway  ,     as   eyes   work   upwards   to   the   sky  .      HE’S A CLENCHED JAW & A BALLED FIST , HOW COULD HE BE ANYTHING ELSE ?             ❝   i   wouldn’t   try   to   analyse.  me  ,      that’s   not   a   box   you   want   to   open   unless   you   bought   something   to  drink  .   ❞           tone   scratching   out   hard   from   his   throat  ,     unaccustomed   to   the   amount   of   use   they’re   demanding  .

❛❛  𝙸’𝙼 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙻𝚈𝚉𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚈𝙾𝚄  ❜❜

(  how i have ached  ,    a pillar    /    a proof of concept    /    a prayer come to life  ,    how i have waited for a thousand years to see the shine of your face under this mid - day sun  )                    THE GLOW IS VOLATILE                      the glean of the sun against the water  ,    the soft way your hands fold into mine  ,    the promise i will make to you with tears in my eyes    [  the promise my mother    &    father made  ,    a promise as wistful as air  ----    as solid as steel  ,    a promise that takes life    &    gives it just as swiftly  ]    the shore calls to me  ,    the fire that has made a home in my bones    /    the cathedral of light that comes to life in my ribs  ----    my heart laid across the pulpit  ,    as still as death  ,    with gold pouring from my parted lips                     (  you see how this world demands of me  ,   how saints have etched my name on the soles of their feet  ,    how the bird that carries my soul calls out every morning  ----    how i must rise to catch it  ,    how i will always be that bird  ,    flying away    /    asking you to love me anyways  )                      HOW FLEETING ARE WE  ,    A MOMENT IN TIME IMMORTALIZED BY THE DUSK OF A PEOPLE THAT BELIEVE THEIR GODS HIDE IN THE RIVER                      step in  ,    step in  ,    feel the way it soothes    &    steels you    /    let the waters crawl up your body and wrap around you the way a mother swaddles her child

SILK WRAPPED AROUND CHROMIUM SHINE    /    WE EXIST IN THE HARSHNESS OF THAT WORLD    &   THE NEXT                     i have stolen you  ,    you see  ----    i have carried you through these haunted woods  ,    i have blinded you with the promises of something more    /    i have fed you my love in ambrosia and rose petals  ,    i have covered your eyes with the hem of my dress    &    asked you to believe the stories that fill me like wineskin                       (  i have promised you so many things  ,    i have filled you with make  -  believe that nurtured me as a babe  ,   i have told you how i walked through the fire    &    swallowed the world whole  ,    i have told you how the waters live in me  ,    how i will be reborn  ,    how i will find you again  )                       have you believed them all  ?    these fantastical things that i use to split you open just so i may make a home of the space in your heart  ?    will you be betrayed  ,    my love  ?                       WILL YOU REALIZE THAT THEY ARE A TRUTH AS REAL AS I AM  ,    WILL YOU REALIZE THAT I AM NOTHING MORE THAN A GHOST IN THE WATER LIKE MY ANCESTORS BEFORE ME  ?

❛❛  𝙳𝙾𝙽’𝚃 𝚂𝙰𝚈 𝚂𝚄𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂 𝚃𝙾 𝙼𝙴 , 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙼𝚈 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝚆𝙴𝙰𝙺 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚈𝙾𝚄  ❜❜

though shaking  ,    though trembling    &    weak                    (  with the same tangible weariness as an autumn leaf clinging to the trees  )                    they rise against the volatile sun    /    all at once a halo  ----    a body made of light  ,   a being with lips in the shape of sunbeams    &    a mouth as sweet as liquid gold    [  for what are we all  ,    if not seeds planted in the winter with nothing more than a prayer  ,    reaching past the dirt despite it all  ]    IT IS STILL UNDER MY NAILS  ,    THIS EARTH    /    THIS BIRTH    /    THIS RESURRECTION AS I STAND BEFORE YOU    the way saints have trembled at the call of your name  ,    the way even gods will hold you under their tongue    &    keep your holiness as a prayer when the final trumpet blows                      (  will you be there  ?    will you hold witness  ?    will you stand on the edge of the world and watch as it all falls to the woes of nature  ?  )                       for how cruel we are to our earth mother  ,    how we have torn her skin    &    gutted her for our own greed    /    how we bleed her dry and call it our own  ,   how we have defaced    &   broken our vows  ----    how we have made her ill with our sin  ,    how she loves us still despite it all  .    i can taste the hollowness in my mouth  ,    something rotten    &    copper    /    like blood    &    decay  ,    like a bog body dredged from the hallowed sea  .     once more we will desecrate  ,    and the saints will blind themselves on the matrimony of our sickness    /    as holy as the devil  ,    with his scorched wings    &    aching back                       ❛❛  𝙸 𝙳𝙾𝙽’𝚃 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙰𝙽𝚈𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴 [ . . . ] 𝙸 𝙳𝙾𝙽’𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙺 𝚂𝙾  ❜❜

i move  ,    and the earth shakes    /    the way i have become a vigil for broken hearts  ,    a body of water that trudges against the tide that pushes back                        (  to you  ,    i must be something foreign  .    an aching    &   surreal thing  ,    a creature of sea    &    storm  ,    with the stars in my eyes and the sun in my hands  ----   please do not think ill of me as my knees grow weak and i fall like atlas on a sunday morning  ,    even saints    /    even martyrs    /    even gods fall sometimes  )

the groan of the trees    /    the sway of melody captured in the the rustle of trees                      (  the water works its way into my heart  ,    cuts and works a groove into the earth    /    pours itself into me until i am a bog body with my mouth parted in prayer  )                     HOW I KNOW YOU HEAR IT TOO  ,    THE WAY THE EARTH SINGS ITS SONG WHETHER WE LISTEN OR NOT                     how the inferno before us will settle its ash like snow  ,    how it will dance against the hollow walls and paint pictures of red    &    gold                      (  how we will always be at it’s mercy  ,    creatures of flesh and bone  ,    begging for a glimpse at the gods of fire and flame  )    ❛❛  𝙸 𝙵𝙴𝙻𝙻 𝙸𝙽 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝙴 𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶 𝙰𝙶𝙾  ❜❜

                            𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙲𝙰𝙻𝙻 .                         liked by : @macanique·

                                                            ❝    DON’T YOU EVER TAME           your   demons  ,        but   always   keep   them   on   a   leash  .   ❞  

concern is in their nature  ,    a saturated sunset painted in blues    &    golds    /    a heart that bleeds the same melancholy blue as the ocean                    (  behind their lips  ,    secrets make a home  ----    stitched into their organs like the words of a prayer  ,    the edge of deadly things covered with the softness of their heart  )                      saints would die for you  ,    sweetheart    /    gorge themselves on the garden in your gut    /    leave their lips dripping light as they face the pyre

(  the way it fills your bones  ,    the same way nighttime drapes itself across the sunlit sky    /    that familiar warmth  ,    that hazy feeling  ,    those stars in your eyes as heaven curls up at the stoop of your door  )                   A HALLOWED FEELING  ,    ACHING  ,    BUT EASILY FORGOTTEN                     they appear  ,    as if some haunted thing    /    a ghost with a tender smile    soft hands   &    gentle hearts    bird  -  boned creature with magic trapped under your tongue  ,    how the pleas from your lips will wrap themselves in silk and settle in the grave you dug    [  i am so weary  ,    i am full of dreams that spill from me in the way wine pours into your golden cup    /   i am the thing fairy tales warn you about  ,    the woman outside your door with her weeping head in her hands  ]    ❛❛  𝙸 𝙷𝙰𝙳 𝚃𝙾 𝚂𝚃𝙾𝙿 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙽𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃  ❜❜

sanguine peculiarities  ,    sugar  -  coated tongue prodding at the taste of blood in their mouth    *  you cannot remember how it got there  ,    you can only remember your mouth tasting of copper    &   salt                    (  and if you pried open my jaw    /    would you take a taste  ?    would you say i tasted like the sea    /    like a memory of a dream you’d forgotten    /    like the way we’re all doomed  ,   always  ,    to fade into the mourning light  ?  )                    familiar reminiscing  ,    the feeling of a birds wings beating against the cage bars  ----    my heart trapped in my chest  ,    some frantic rhythm  ,    some desire to escape whatever holds me here                     ❛❛  𝙳𝙾𝙽’𝚃    𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈    𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷    𝙼𝙴  ,    𝙸𝚃    𝙹𝚄𝚂𝚃    𝙷𝚄𝚁𝚃𝚂  ❜❜