This is my nest.

I attended a Panic! at the Disco concert Friday at my college campus. This was a huge deal because I’ve wanted to watch Brendon Urie perform since about the seventh grade.

This show attracted a diverse group of people, but my friends and I found ourselves mostly surrounded by young teenagers, 13, 14, 15 and so on. This didn’t bother me though because I remembered seventh grade Concetta and I saw a reflection of my former self, wearing band tee shirts and rocking black rubber bracelets and colored hair.

This was okay because I understood them in these moments.

However, what was not okay was watching the band perform from small screens above my head. I am not joking when I say that throughout the entirety of the show, I had to crane my neck in order to see past the iPhone screens and to actually witness the band members themselves.

Some people even brought their iPad’s with them, like, really fuckers? I was surrounded by phones, iPad’s, selfie sticks, the works. I wanted to transform into a walking Cohen brothers movie.

Words cannot explain how disappointed I am with the current state of our society.

We live in a time where we are unable to live in the moment. Instead, we are more concerned with filming the entire performance on a screen so that we can post it to Facebook or Instagram or to our Snapchat story. It makes me want to scream because technology is material, it will come and go or break or wear down, but our memories (for the most part) will last.

The memories of watching Brendon Urie back flip on stage and then continue singing are what I want to remember, not remembering what angle was best to capture the moment in. Capture the moments in your minds people, let that be your catalog for experience.

I was dancing to all of my favorite songs and so many people around me were taping the show. Not dancing, not singing, not standing up on their friends shoulders, not swaying or stomping or clapping. They were too busy typing or texting.

I just wanted to scream fuck you, technology. Fuck you for stealing society’s souls and turning our social skills into puddles slipping through sidewalks.

Can we go back to the 60′s, 70′s, 80′s, 90′s? When music was everything and we weren’t distracted like we are today.

Distracted.

Distracted by the attention. How many likes this video or photo will get.

News flash, nobody actually likes the people who live their lives through tiny screens.

Live life, please. I beg of you society because when we’re all lying on our death beds, won’t we want to close our eyes and think back to the memories we shared with the people we loved? Instead of flipping through photos on a cell phone or remembering those moments as people being on their phones the entire time, instead of actually conversing with you or dancing with you. Instead of actually living, like we used to.

They say that small minded people talk about small minded things, such as other people, negative criticisms, or opinions with no room for discussion.

Let's not be small minded.

In physical terms, our brains are actually rather weighty in content, containing an abundance of mass and space capable for so many brilliant ideas and topics for conversation.

I'm feeling extra wordy today, so here is a list of things to talk about that reflect our intellectual capacity.

The things that great minds speak of, that make us want to talk to one another:

1) The Earth. It's condition and how you feel about it.

2) Walt Whitman. Can we just talk about Walt Whitman? Even though he's a person, we want to discuss his work and achievements.

3) Ideas as to how we get children to play outside more, to break away from the chains of technology and instead, interact with other kids by using their imaginations like I had to (wanted to).

4) How to get people to read more and what kind of books they should be reading. I'm talking physical books, the kinds you open and close and crease down the corner pages so that you never lose your place.

5) Where we will travel to and why we feel as if we must travel there.

6) The ocean. It's so vast and mysterious, how could we not talk about it for days at a time?

7) Animals. They're important.

8) Bees, they're important too.

9) How fulfilling it is to help one another. Think of a time you helped someone and how it made you feel. How did the other person react?

10) Food. We can talk about food because food sustains life and being alive is the best fucking thing ever.

11) Adventures. Whether it's an adventure to another place (see #5) or an adventure to the grocery store at midnight because you're craving chips and salsa (see #10).

12) Defining happy. I wish I could hear everyone's definition of what true happiness is because I'll bet it's different for everyone and I'm curious as to what the various possibilities are.

So there, let's talk. Let's talk about things that matter.

If you don’t watch How I Met Your Mother, watch it. The series is over but you can catch episodes all over the television world.

Anyways, there are two characters in the show, Marshall and Lily (whom by the way are the ultimate relationship goal couple), have a theory about olives.

He hates them, she loves them and in the pilot episode, this gives a good glimpse into the balance that the couple shares, based on the olive theory.

It is the idea that opposites attract, which gravitates them towards each other and again, adds balance to their opposing interests.

My boyfriend hates olives, I love them. Olive theory.

However, the funny thing about the show (SPOILER) is that Marshall has loved olives all along, but says he “hates them,” so Lily can always have them.

So is the theory therefore debunked? Not necessarily.

It shows that opposites don’t always attract, but sometimes, that just may be what we see at the surface and underneath is someone who is willing to sacrifice for us.

The word sacrifice. I love it because it is so strong and yet, so many people don’t understand what it means these days.

I love the olive theory because it’s so much more than what it seems and what it’s showing us is that Marshall is willing to sacrifice his love for olives, so that Lily can always eat them. In a micro fashion, that is giving up something you love so that the one you love can be happy, always.

Now, my boyfriend really does hate olives, but he sacrifices all the time by not minding that I cook with them, by ordering them for me on pizza, and by not minding that sometimes their metallic, salty scent lingers on our kiss after I eat a few.

Sacrifice.

It’s a word every parent sure as hell knows, but it’s an act that everyone should be aware of and practice when the moment calls for it.

You should never sacrifice who you are as a person, but I sacrifice sleep for my son. I sacrifice being a friend and sometimes even a girlfriend. I sacrifice reading poetry all day long because I’m one of the few people in the house who actually give a shit, but that’s okay because that’s what my creative writing peers and mentors are for, oh and Tumblr.

So, let us sacrifice, like Marshall and Lily.

Let’s not put down the black olive because it represents so much more than just an amazing pizza and salad topper. After all, black olives are just ripened green olives.

While driving this afternoon, Kelly Clarkson’s song “Catch My Breath” came on the radio and it took me back to a time where listening to her beautiful voice and lyrics gave me strength.

I had just ended a very long and very drawn out relationship with someone who was just not compatible with me to say the very least.

I couldn’t comprehend that for a long time though, so when my relationship with him ended, I felt as if I had nothing. I didn’t have the motivation to do anything. I didn’t have my own personality because I changed myself in order to adhere to his agenda and his way of thinking, which meant I didn’t have my own thoughts. My mind was like static, a turn table skipping, repeating memories I wanted to forget.

My heart was broken into dramatic little pieces on the floor, but not for as long as you would think because once again, in the private sanctuary of my vehicle, this song came on.

I felt uplifted and to this day, I still experience that same high when I hear that song.

Do you know why the song is uplifting? It’s because she reminds us to stop and breathe. The song isn’t even about ending a relationship (like many of her songs). It’s about celebrating her career and the people who have helped her achieve her dreams along the way.

However, at this point in my life, the lyrics spoke to me in a different way, reminding me of the importance of inhaling and exhaling. There are so many benefits. It sustains our life, number one. It lowers our blood pressure, it takes our static minds off of the noise for a little bit, and it makes us less reactive.

Bingo. It make us less reactive and sometimes in life, that is a very good thing.

How many arguments could we avoid if we just stopped to breathe? I’m talking about taking a step back like a physical step back, closing your eyes, and taking a few deep breaths in and out.

Let’s react less because we live in a time where everyone reacts to everything, but divulging deeper into that idea is just opening up a door that I don’t want to walk through right now.

Instead, let’s think back to sad, young, emotional me crying, first tears of joy and then tears of happiness, listening to that song and being reminded to catch my breath.

Being reminded that everything will be okay.

We think, especially when we’re young, that break ups are the most tragic life event ever, but they’re not. A family member passing, having your hard work rejected, parting ways with a long time friend, losing the big game you’ve been practicing so hard for or failing the exam you spent all night studying for, in the end those moments will hurt worse. I promise.

Yet, in any case, let us catch our breath.

Let us breathe and let us meditate on the positive and then breathe again.

Our enormous earth that circles the sun will continue to orbit. I promise.

Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street.

This has become my anthem, morning, noon, and night.

I don’t sit my child in front of the television by any means, but when we’ve finished eating, playing, practicing our motor skills, strengthening our bodies, laughing, napping, and rolling, I put on Sesame Street because it’s what I used to watch as a kid.

In fact, I put on the classic episodes from the 80′s and 90′s to get a little dose of nostalgia for myself, but I’ve learned something from watching these past episodes of Sesame Street versus the current Sesame Street that’s on today.

What I’ve learned from watching old Sesame Street episodes over and over again is that they embrace individual weirdness, which newer episodes do not.

This bothers me.

Episodes now aren’t silly and weird like they used to be. Maybe it was the 90′s or maybe it’s because we live in a time where children are expected to learn too much too early and grow up too fast.

Old Sesame Street is full of odd and silly characters doing silly things and singing odd little silly songs. I want my son exposed to silly because it teaches him that it’s okay to be weird and different.

I just watched a modern episode this morning that payed tribute to Game of Thrones.

I love Game of Thrones, but having that on the show isn’t for the kids, it’s for the parents and to be honest, I’m not a fan.

What I am a fan of is Grover the muppet singing a song called Monster in the Mirror, where the chorus repeats the word Wubba.

What is Wubba? We don’t know, but the song is about not being afraid.

Considering Grover is a monster muppet, I say that the song is really about not being afraid to be a weird little monster.

Repeat after me.

Good evening.

Namaste.

I bow to you in respect.

Because we are all equals in this world.

I will never preach hate.

I will only teach love, how to love culture.

I will lend my neighbor, whose skin color is different than mine, milk to drink because I want to nourish him and I have some to spare and I will not be selfish.

I will read Maya Angelou

Langston Hughes

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Jorge Luis Borges

Gertrude Stein

and love it

because reading them

is like discovering a time capsule

in your backyard garden

among roses and fresh fruit.

We may have forgotten

because they are tucked

into the earth now, but repeat after me

We will never forget them.

We will never forget because even though

our voices and experiences may be different,

our minds and hearts still look the same.

A quote by one of the greatest and what an electrifying statement it is. Miss Joplin must not only be remembered by her music, but by these six words because nothing more true can be said.

I was once a high school student, bound by chains laced with smoke and wrapped in cigarillos. Nothing mattered. I didn’t write. I didn’t want to write. I excelled in school when I wanted to. All I wanted to do was hang out with my current boyfriend at the time and lay in bed. I didn’t realize that I was depressed, that I was settling and changing.

To make a long and very unnecessarily drawn out story short, I ended the relationship and broke free. I changed myself back into what I once was, which was happy. I did it through being more social, connecting with friends that I lost. I explored new things and new people, I traveled to Ireland for a week and a half and had a ton of crack (which is Irish slang for fun). I spent more time with my family and found someone who appreciated all of me, the good and the bad. But the best part, I started writing again.

The moral of this is that we should never ever settle, under any circumstance. We should never sell ourselves short because we are amazing creatures. If you aren’t happy with someone and they don’t appreciate your worth as a person, leave them. If you’re not happy at your job, leave it because there are hundreds upon hundreds of other jobs out there. If you’re not happy where you’re living, move somewhere else for awhile. The world is vast and places are just places. You may be sad to leave some people behind, but encourage them to visit you too. No one should stay in one place for their entire life. There is just way too much to see in the world.

Consume change like it’s your favorite dessert because it truly is sweet. Just as the seasons change and the earth’s tectonic plates beneath us are constantly shifting and changing, our individual lives undergo metamorphoses everyday, some on the micro level (like changing your hair) or some on the macro level (changing where you live).

Only settle for amazing. Settle for happiness. Settle for smiles and sunshine and laughter. It may not always be easy to achieve, but don’t give up. Stephen King is one of my all time favorite authors and inspirations. His first novel “Carrie” was rejected over and over again. If he would’ve settled, he would’ve never became the iconic horror-king that he is today and I would be one sad person.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, not every day is going to be filled with happy disposition and sugar coated rainbows arching above unicorns, as pessimistic as that sounds.

What I’m really trying to say is that if we have bad days, days where we just feel like crying, screaming, arguing, kicking, throwing things, or all of the above, that that’s perfectly alright.

The key to having control and not letting the bad day consume us is being able to come up with positive outlets to release the bad and negative energy that we’re feeling.

I know today I woke up irritated for no real substantial reason. My five month old son must have been experiencing the same kind of emotions because he was pretty inconsolable for a majority of the day (he’s also battling budding teeth). I had a ton of grocery shopping to do without the motivational energy to do it and I had a terrible headache.

I wanted to scream and hide, but I didn’t. Instead, I lit a eucalyptus scented aromatherapy candle and chilled the fuck out.

So, if you’re feeling any of the emotions mentioned above, I’ll state again that this is perfectly normal and okay. We would not be honest individuals if we believed total happiness existed by itself without some balance of experiencing anger or sadness every so often as well. It’s human nature. The limbic system in our brains that controls our emotions is very complex, just like human beings. So here’s how we can channel those bad feelings without hurting anyone else around us.

1) Try what I did and light some candles. Light every single one you own if you have to.

2) Cook something. Think of your favorite meal or a specific food and cook it. Whether it’s a simple salad, eggs with bacon, or baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Just eat it and savor it. Your mind and stomach will thank you.

3) Grab a beer and sit the hell down or pour some tequila in a glass (with or without limes). 

4) Grab someone you’re dating or into and just go crazy, indulge in their body and take a little sexual break. Not married or dating or seeing anyone? Indulge in yourself and don’t be ashamed by it.

5) Go somewhere. Take a drive to a park. Go grab a coffee. Visit the animals at your local shelter. Go anywhere.

6) Hit the gym. Don’t have a membership? Your environment can be your gym. Live somewhere cold? Take a few laps around your house. I know it sounds silly but blaring your favorite song and just running around the house is sure to make you laugh and burn some calories.

7) Read a book. Checking Facebook or Twitter doesn’t count. I’m talking about a physical book. Some Robert Frost or Carole Maso.

I understand that as a parent, sometimes doing these things to cool down isn’t feasible. No fear. Give the infant or child a book, toy, or some other form of distraction and sit down for a moment, close your eyes, and count down from 5. When you’re done counting. Open your eyes and look at the little life you created. That should help.