LynnSolaris2

‘Your not comfortable with change Your comfortable with how you are’

they aren’t wrong,

I remember having a talk to Camhs, I was afraid of change and still am if I could change I would, but i don’t know how

my fear is I’ve lived as one, and change is what I fear, leaving what I was to become something that isn’t guaranteed to be better

or I’ve lived as one, becoming second isn’t what I know, the unknown isn’t Pleasant to me, and sometimes I’m scared of it

as much as I would like to say they are wrong, as much as I will contend it, as much as I say in my brain it’s false

Mostly everything they’ve said is correct

Why is he here, thoughts he’s there, some negative, remembering what he did, some positive, too positive, remembering what we did

It should be gone, I WANT HIM OUT OF MY HEAD

just go the fuck away, get the fuck out of my head

I can’t be in my own bed, and imagining him, I can’t be alone much and not imagine him, I want him to go away,

i never wanted to hurt you, im so so sorry

im so so so so sorry

its a bellcurve, ur in the dark -> i trust you i tell u secrets -> i open up about me, i vent i share how i think

im so sorry, i shouldnt have said shit, im sorry, i shouldnt have said anything, i shouldnt have gotten so comfortable, u have your struggles, i dont want to be a burden idont want to affect you, im sorry

I want to look at those words and not feel whatever I feel