Under the Sun

Stop giving your energy to those who give you none in return.

There’s a point when you’re with somebody in a relationship where the decision comes down to their love or your mask. And by “the mask,” we mean your terror in exposing yourself, your terror in making yourself vulnerable to this other person. I think Yunior’s tragedy in a number of places in this book is that he keeps choosing his mask. Sometimes he does it compulsively, sometimes he’s unaware. But it grows on him that he plays at relationships. Being in love means you actually have to be in the game. And to be in the game means that you have to actually risk losing, right? It’s not a game if you can’t lose. It’s something else. And I think Yunior likes to pretend that he’s in the game. But really he’s not. Really, he can’t lose. He’s always got some other girls up the way. He’s always got something going on. I always joked that Yunior was the guy who you think is stranded out in the open sea with you, but he’s got a life vest tucked between his legs.

The best part of a relationship is getting to call the person, or lay down next to them, and tell them all the crazy things that happened to you all day long. In the end that’s what it’s about. It’s not about sex, it’s not about the money they give you, it’s not about how good looking they are, it’s about them listening to you talk for hours and hours and hours, about stupid shit that doesn’t matter.

I told you I loved you. Like a bomb shelter. Something to hide in after the fallout, but we would always be hungrier than our rations would allow.