We're Young and We're Bored

“I do! That’s why I can’t just kill you.”

“Won’t kill me, won’t run to Texas with me, do you even know what love is?”

“Nope, I must refuse. I can’t do that.”

“I thought you loved me.”

“Are you, Lydia Chandler, asking me to murder the love of my life simply at the mention of a NYU acceptance?”

“I, Lydia Chandler, am begging you to murder the love of your life at the mention of the NYU acceptance.”

“Why darling I thought you would never ask.”

“There is one condition. If my cousin Maci brings up, more than twice, her acceptance to NYU, you have to hold me underwater until I stop struggling.”

“We both know I do.”

“Would you like to come to my family party, Liam?”

“Oh yeah? When are they coming? I love family gatherings.”

“Saturday And it’s an actual terrible time. Unless you like grown people trying to out perfect each other.”

“Don’t know if I would do too well in Texas, babe. So, why is it that we’re leaving?”

“You’d do great in Texas. We’ll get you some boots and a big belt buckle. My dad’s brother and sister are coming into town and I’d rather drown than play ‘let me tell you what my amazing kid is doing’.”

“A splended plan if I ever heard one. Where are we running away to?”

“I got an A in all three years of Spanish I’ve taken so far, let’s go somewhere down south. Like Texas.”

“Kinda, yeah.”

“It’s Ohio and it sucks.”

“Okay, but what’s so wrong with Ohio?”

“It’s Ohio, do I need more of a reason?”

“What’s wrong with OSU?”

“It’s in Ohio.”

“Should have known you would use me eventually.”

“You really, really should have.”

“They can be…a lot. Where are you applying?”

“OSU, which I’m hoping I either don’t get into or I get into better schools because I don’t want to go. USC, NYU, KU, Mizzou, Really I’m just out to get out of Ohio.”

“I see how it is. Keeping me hanging on.”

“Of course, How can I earn my future title of man eater if I don’t?”

“You intend to just insult me, Chandler? You know, it normally turns me on, but eventually you’re gonna break me.”

“Then I’ll fix you, Sweet Liam. Or move on and break another guy, I haven’t decided yet.”