— it felt like breathing.

LYDIA WILDE

☆ FULL NAME: Lydia Eve Wilde ☆ GENDER: Ciswoman ☆ PRONOUNS: She/Her ☆ AGE: 33 (February 4th, 1991) ☆ TYPE: Full sibling; solo (open to twin) ☆ HOMETOWN: Knoxville, Tennessee ☆ JOB: Events Planner at PSU; host of What's Complex? It's Just Sex! sex positivity podcast ☆ SCHOOL: PSU Alumni ☆ SEXUALITY: Fluid ☆ FACECLAIM: Brittany Snow

ABOUT LYDIA

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Were you to ask her parents, they would tell you the sun gets its entire light source from their eldest daughter. From the moment she was born through a fast, easy labor, Lydia has been able to do no wrong, likely because she was such an easygoing, polite child, and the Wilde's have clung onto that thirty-three years in. In reality, Lydia is far from perfect, but as long as she loves her Lord—which she does—and leads by example for her younger siblings—which she does—that seems to be their standard for her. Or perhaps she is just one of their least memorable children... either way, Lydia's home life has been much more smooth-sailing than that of some of her siblings, and she feels major guilt about that every day.

Approachable, but sometimes lacking a filter, Lydia had a large circle of friends growing up, all of whom she trusted perhaps a bit too much, as would come to light during her junior year of high school, the cause of which would destroy her trust in people forever. Lydia had dated a little bit here and there the year prior, behind her parents' back of course, but when she started to fall for Tom in her junior year, and decided to tell her parents about him the more serious they became, she was surprised to find they were thrilled. Tom was from a respectable Christian family like their own, so they approved, and would invite him to family dinners and various events, clearly assuming that one day he would be their son-in-law. Unlike the Wilde's, however, who had been taught the law of chastity, Tom either hadn't or simply didn't care.

Lydia and Tom often kissed and fooled around, but he knew she had no intention of sleeping with him before marriage. He would grumble and groan, but he seemed to respect her wishes, until a party filled with horny teenagers and wine coolers had him talking Lydia into going further. It took a bit of persuasion, but eventually she gave in. However, as their make-out session began to heat up, his hand moving beneath her jeans and between her legs, she suddenly decided she didn't want to do it anymore. She pushed Tom's hand away and told him to stop, but he called her a tease and went back in for more. Lydia lost her virginity that night without her consent, and from then on, her attitude towards people changed.

Much to her parents' dismay, Lydia ended things with Tom soon after. She couldn't tell them why, of course, and to this day they still mention him, still casually tell her he's single whenever she goes home. She didn't just lose Tom in that event, though; people she thought were her friends had known what he'd planned to do and they'd still left her alone with him. It became clear to her that she'd been way too trusting, so she did a complete 180, and instead decided to trust no one, and to let no one close enough to ever hurt her again.

It wasn't until college, where Lydia majored in Events Management, that she really began to reflect, and realized it wasn't just Tom's fault, nor the friends who'd left her in that situation; if Lydia had been more informed, if she'd understood sex better, maybe she could've protected herself. Growing up in the church, however, sex was meant for making babies, not for pleasure, and especially not for women's pleasure, so she'd been failed there, too. By her parents, by their church community... they'd failed her, just like they'd failed plenty of other young people who had come before her, and who would grow up in that environment for years to come.

Researching and informing herself on safe sex helped Lydia not to be so scared of the concept, and soon she learned that she enjoyed sex, just like plenty of consenting adults did. She found there was nothing shameful about it, and when she realized sex could happen without feelings, therefore nobody could emotionally hurt her if all she was doing was sleeping with them, Lydia began experimenting with sexual partners. Lots of them. Then, while it took a few years of back and forth fighting with herself about it, she decided she should help spread awareness to others, let them know sex didn't have to be what the church made it out to be, and it certainly didn't have to be just for the pleasure of men.

Soon, the podcast, What's Complex? It's Just Sex! was born, where Lydia discusses sex and love—not that she has any experience with the latter—alone and with guests every now and then. Going exclusively by her middle name, Eve, on the podcast, her initial fear of being discovered by her parents or someone they knew quickly dissipated, and now her podcast has a good amount of loyal listeners and followers. Lydia is careful not to attach her face or first and last name to it, and as of yet hasn't run out of things to talk about. For full-time work, she is the resident Events Planner at PSU, but her podcast is her second baby. She still doesn't trust anybody, and still won't let anybody close to her, but that's just fine with her; her work and her podcast keep her plenty busy, and busy is really all that matters.

FAMILY BACKGROUND