How to Make Coffee - a guide by Tim Drake
*Warning: Do not drink unless you don’t mind accumulating major medical issues and probably brain damage. When drinking this coffee, use caution, and pray it does not burn through your esophagus and devour you from the inside out. Do not drink if you are younger than 15 years old, have any health problems (besides no spleen. I don’t have one and I drink this anyway so it should be fine, but if you’re a normal person with no spleen then I wouldn’t recommend this, just in case), take medication, are pregnant, have a low caffeine tolerance, are not a hardened vigilante, know Alfred and might tell him about this semi-fatal cup of coffee I drink regularly, or wish to live a long life*
*Side effects include: Either a good caffeine boost for the day or a coma. There is no in between.
• Extremely strong Death Wish coffee grounds
• A few flakes of salt (to ensure you’re bitter enough to face the world)
• Three drops of hot sauce (to strengthen your pain tolerance)
• A few caffeine tablets (for maximum caffeination)
• Make a pot of coffee with the grounds and Redbull instead of water
• Pour into a large mug (for best results, invest in a giant mug that fits multiple cups of coffee to enhance the experience)
• Take everything else and mix it all in until the coffee looks just a little poisonous (I assure you it’s not as deadly as it looks. I drink this twice a day and I turned out alright)
• **Do not add milk (this coffee must be black as your soul)**
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