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@luxxelust
Dope

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“Every time your feet move, I wanna eat them.” -Spoons
My piggies are wet 🐷
The Sun and Her Flowers
— Rupi Kaur

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Linda is a ride or die
if you ain’t this down, you ain’t ready for a relationship frfr
Take a nap with me after I make you cum
The only time I'm submissive 😜

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Celibacy?
I think I’m becoming celibate. I know, it sounds foolish coming from a self-described slut. But here’s why it seems like a more attractive prospect lately. A few weeks ago, while enjoying my end of summer ho-down, I realized I needed to pay a visit to the clinic. I had discharge coming from my penis and it burned when I peed. I was immediately annoyed when I realized what was happening and filled with anxiety. Unfortunately, I was at work so I had to suffer in silence. When I got home I contacted Prince. He was the closest to me of all recent sex partners and I definitely wanted to continue having sex with him. But we had just gotten into an argument, that was unresolved, earlier that day so it was awkward to say the least. The next day I made my way to my primary care physician. That experience was also annoying and anxiety ridden. My doctor basically rolled his eyes at having to treat me for another STI and proceeded to tell me all the reasons why I need to use condoms. Then the nurse that was treating me tried to have the same conversation, but came off extremely patronizing. As If that wasn’t enough they gave me that painful ass shot in my butt. Honestly, that shot alone was enough to make me reconsider my sexual practices –I hate it. I spent the next couple of days contacting my remaining sexual partners that I felt may have been exposed to whatever it was that I had. Everyone seemed to handle it like an adult. There were a couple “I just got checked a few weeks ago” and “You’re the only person I was having sex with”, but for the most part everything was communicated in a very mature way, I was a little bit surprised. One guy, PSD (Potential Sugar Daddy), followed up with me after the weekend when I got my test results. I had contracted gonorrhea and my syphilis RPR titer was elevated. I told him the results and he seemed calm about it over text messages, but went on a tangent about his wife and reconsidering sleeping with men. I rolled my eyes and didn’t respond (I’ll unpack that mess in another entry.) So now that I had my results I had to get another painful shot in my butt again –Now I’m really over it! Contracting an STI automatically means abstaining from sex for at least a week until the infection clears. I had to wait about two weeks because I was treated two separate times. Speaking with my doctors and finding out there was a recent gonorrhea outbreak this summer in NYC and that there is a strain out there that is resistant to conventional antibiotic treatment makes me be a little more discerning about who I have sex with. This is the type of shit that makes me consider the benefits of monogamy.
Like I stated before my relationship with Prince was on the rocks. I went over to his place on the weekend after I was first treated. We still hadn’t discussed the issue that led to an argument and him walking out on me again. The morning started off sweet and tender and was all the good things I love about spending time with him. But once we got into a discussion about the argument it all went downhill. I realized our issue was ineffective communication and the unwillingness to compromise or be empathetic, mostly on his part. He said flat out “We’re not compatible” –That hurt. Maybe he was right, but more importantly I knew what those words mean; It will never work. So, after asking him if he was sure, I got dressed and made my way to the door. He called me back for a second attempt at reconciliation. I could see that this was hard for him. His body was shaking and he had tears in his eyes. He even had to take a moment and step out of the room to pull himself together. After a few more exchanges he uttered the words that bruised my heart again “We’re not compatible”. This time he didn’t stop me as walked out the door. A few minutes later when I was back in my room I realized I had grabbed his wallet by mistake –AWKWARD! So, I had to call him and drop it off. By this time, I had turned cold. I’m quick to cut a nigga off, word to Cardi B. When I’m done, I’m done and I’m done. Having relationship problems with a nigga that is not your boyfriend is crazy, but I guess I am a little crazy.
So, let’s recap, STI, no more Prince, niggas ain’t shit, and I got shit to focus on, means that this celibacy thing might be here for a minute. Who knows though, I honestly am not sure how serious I am about it. If the right guy comes along I probably won’t think twice. In the meantime, I’ll just binge on porn, probably by a dildo, continue writing and creating. Winter is coming so it would be nice to have a cuddle buddy, but I’m not pressed. Any man trying to start a relationship with me needs to understand me on multiple levels... and fuck me like a porn star!
-Lust xx
Change of Direction
With the change of the season, I see that the change in me, that has been building for months, is starting to manifest. Like the gradual turning of the leaves, you know it's coming, you see the colors change, then before you know it all the trees are bare. The shedding of leaves reflects my need to shed all things holding me back, past and present. My trials of managing relationships, sex life, work and dreams over the course of the summer have changed my perspective on the choices I make. I'm ready for this phase of my evolution. I'm 'bout to level up. Brace for The Fall...
-Lust xx
So Long Spoons
Time of Death 11:57pm June 28, 2017. I bid farewell to My Spoons. My Prince. My This could have been amazing. My Lana del Rey as a boy.
The budding relationship between Prince and I was something that I kept guarded after I wrote my Memorial Day saga. It was something I wanted just to myself, to nurture it and see if it would grow. And maybe if this were fairytale times we would be on some enchanted rose shit. Our tale was filled with immense beauty. So much that I would envision a future from time to time, when we both actually had our shit together. We would do artsy couple shit. Lay in bed on days off, just reading and playing records. Taking baths and smoking joints. But we ended up bringing out the beast in each other.
Over Pride Weekend Prince and I got into a physical altercation. It was minor in terms of physical damage. But when it came to discussing and moving forward, he literally walked out on me. He ended it. I conceded willingly. It wasn’t meant to be. Even if I was almost in love. I know I’m not ready to be in a relationship. Much less one this intense so soon. We had passion and a connection. But we burned out. You can’t burn that hot so quickly and not expect it to happen. I hope my Prince knows that I really do care for him on so many levels. I will miss him and these next few days will be somewhat of a challenge. He’s quick to block a nigga so I probably won’t be able to contact him further. If I’m able to see his tweets I’ll probably see how he’s feeling about me, or how he’s moving on.
I’ll be moving on as well. A relationship isn’t in the stars for me right now, – I’m just hard headed.
Daddy's Day 😈🖤 Illustration by @anthgonz1
Insatiable
When it comes to vices sex is mine. Drinking is fun; drugs are cool; gambling just gives me anxiety and is like throwing money in the garbage. But sex, is pleasurable (obviously) and makes me feel powerful. I take great pleasure in making a man cum. I know what it feels like when I cum and I enjoy being the reason for someone else’s ecstasy. In my mind, the moment he reaches climax, I feel there is no other place in the world he would rather be. I feel desirable. I sometimes use sex to make me feel better when I’m feeling sad or depressed. When I’m happy I use sex as a celebration. Sex is great for every occasion in my book.
I don’t just enjoy sex I lust for it. I feel there’s a combination of factors that contribute to this. First there’s the dopamine rush. Neurotransmitters rewarded me with the warm and fuzzies every time I throw that ass back. Then there’s the power complex I mentioned before. There’s also my yearning for intimacy; sometimes I just need a cuddle. I’m aware that I sometimes use sex to simulate a relationship. Just for one night he’s mine and I am his. Then when you add the fact that there’s free porn all over the internet and I’m pretty sure I have a partly addictive personality. How can I not be “Lusty Loosey?”
I do feel that I’m inherently hyper sexual. I mean I am West Indian/Latino. My dad was a player. He has five kids with four baby mamas. He even had two women pregnant at the same time; hence me and one of my sisters are four months apart. I’m sure there are a few other reasons for my hyper sexuality, but I have yet to uncover them. Some are quick to label me a hoe or a slut, but I honestly don’t view promiscuity as a bad thing. I enjoy most hookups that I partake in. There’s a certain excitement when you meet someone new. You can try new things or perform old tricks on a new dog. I think it’s unfair when there are double standards based on one’s sexual position or gender. Besides, part of the reason I’m able to have so much sex is because I’m good at it – And practice makes perfect.
I usually bottom when I have sex. I’ve topped before and even fucked a couple girls in my adolescence, that was fun. But there’s something about being the receptive partner in butt sex that just drives me wild. I think somewhere in my mid-twenties I decided I wanted to be a power bottom. I constantly pushed past my limits to become the best power bottom I could be. I would try my hardest not to jack myself off during sex. Part of the reason I got into jock straps is because they would partially contain my erection so I could focus on my hole. I ended up meeting a string of tops who were long winded and/or hung. I gladly took all the abuse. It wasn’t always easy but I powered through, like power bottoms do. I now crave hard dick deep inside me. I enjoy having my hole stretched. I appreciate a top who understands human anatomy; and has the stroke and/or girth to stimulate my prostate. The anal orgasm is real people! I feel confident in saying I’m on the verge of reaching optimum power bottom status. With my newly developed handle on my sexuality I’ve noticed I’m entering a new exploratory phase.
I think the first fetish I developed was for cum. In my early twenties, whenever a guy would cum in me I thought it meant something special. I felt like he trusted me and therefore I could trust him. I was special to him – Talk about young, dumb, and full of cum. Now I’m a little wiser but getting my hole flooded still makes me feel good. I always swallow when giving head. I’ve even had anal orgasms when a guy starts cumming in me – those are intense. Seeing cum or talking about it turns me on. My cum fetish is a big reason why sex is so enjoyable for me. I think it took me awhile to realize it was fetish because cum is such an integral part of sex period. I also developed a fetish for piss. Water Sports is something I’ve dabbled in only a few times. Until very recently it wasn’t even something that was on the table for me, as far as everyday sex goes. I blame the internet for this fetish, but I’m excited to explore it. It seems like my obsession with dick is carrying over into the two substances that come out of it. My first piss play experience is probably still the wildest thing I’ve done to date.
My first piss play experience was with an escort that lived in Bed-Stuy (I’ll call him Joe). Joe and I met on the pretense that we would be hooking up, but then he had a john come over. He asked me to stick around so I watched tv on the couch, smoking a cigarette. I got up at some point and peaked through the crack in the bedroom door to watch as Joe effortlessly stroked the john doggy style. (I guess we can add voyeur to my list of fetishes as well.) Joe and I didn’t have sex that day. Soon after the John left he got another call that would take him into the city. I was happy just to get a glimpse into his world, it intrigued me.
Joe was very persistent in pursuing me. I was flattered because I knew so many people paid to have sex with him. He wanted a chance to leave me gutted and flooded. A few months after our initial meeting I was back in Bed-Stuy. I had spent the night getting my hole stretched and filled by this older Jamaican guy I was fond of. I love daddies. His real selling point was that he had a thick uncut 10-inch penis. I woke up the following morning still feeling insatiable. Joe saw I was in the area and hit me up on Jack’d. We tried to coordinate a meet up time; it kept changing because in addition to escorting Joe was also a drug dealer, and he had to make a few deliveries. Finally, we agreed on a time and I made my way over to his place
When I arrived at Joe’s apartment he took me into the second room. It seemed like he used this room for storage. There was no bed. He laid a comforter down on the carpeted floor. We sat and chit chatted as he rolled a joint. We smoked a little bit then he got up, stood against the wall and commanded me to suck his dick. I got right on it, taking his semi-hard dick all the way into my throat. I nursed his member until it swelled filling my gullet. He looked down at me approvingly and said, “Good boy, I’m gonna sit in your pussy.” Joe was about 5’10” with smooth dark chocolate skin. He was around my age. When we first met he had a thick athletic build, he gained a few pounds since then. I didn’t mind, a little belly was cute on him. He also had a thick 10-inch dick. He knew why I was in Brooklyn and what I had been up to the night before. He told me, “I’m gonna fuck you better than that old man!” He did not disappoint. Youth was on his side. He put me in all kinds of positions; his favorite was me face down ass up, as he mounted me and rode me, like a jockey on a thoroughbred. This is what he meant by “sitting in my pussy.”
I saw why people paid him for sex, he was a pro. He kept talking shit about how his dick was better than the old man I was fucking. I didn’t argue I was too busy cumming repeatedly from my boi-pussy. After about an hour of hot sweaty raw fucking he announced he was about to nut. He had me on my back with one leg on his shoulder and the other wrapped around his waist. He emptied the contents of his scrotum into my rectum. He collapsed on top of me exhausted. I was still feeling insatiable. I hadn’t cum from my dick yet, I wanted more. I wrapped both legs tightly around his waist and pleaded with him not to pull out, he was still hard. “I have to pee!”, he said. I replied, “Go ahead” with my legs still locked like a vice grip. He seemed unsure and asked me for clarity, “You want me to pee in you?” I nodded my head, eyes filled with lust. He relaxed and I loosened my leg grip. He began to pee while he was still fully inserted in me. I instantly felt the pressure from his stream on my prostate. It was exhilarating! I began to stroke my dick and before he finished peeing I came all over myself. My legs began to shake as I struggled to process this mind-blowing orgasm. He stayed inside me for a few more minutes so I could catch myself. “I just let this nigga piss in me.”, I thought. I don’t even know why I suggested it. I just wasn’t ready for him to pull out. I started to get turned on again. That’s how I knew I was into water sports. After that I was satiated. My hole was pleasantly sore and I had a hot load and piss filling my rectum. I was content.
Sex doesn’t always have to be wild and kinky for me. I love the missionary position and good breeding, any day. But when I get insatiable this animal comes out. I like being nasty. I like being dominated. I like being used. I want to taste your sweat. I want to sniff your musty balls and lick your armpits. I want you to spit in my mouth. I want you to spank me until my cheeks are red. I want you to finger my hole until I cum. I want you to tongue-fuck my boi-pussy. I want you to play with nipples until they’re sore. I want you to pound my boi-pussy until you’re satisfied. I want you to call me names and say nasty things. I’ll beg for you to breed me. I want you to feltch my hole. I want you to snowball your load into my hungry mouth. I want you to piss on/in me. Then I want you to do it all again and/or call a friend(s). I’m insatiable.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Waiting for Daddy like... #luxxelust #humpday
#mcm @julian_woodhouse 🖤 (📸: @bradensummers )