still hooked on cellophane

I want to remember you just as you are now

Splayed on my bed

Before I can call it ours

Before all the arguments

The pain

Before I ride that wave again

I can slow down and see you lying there

Someday this memory will harm me I’m sure

But today let’s just make love on the floor

And drive around smoking pot

Talking or not I don’t care

Just pull my hair or tell me you love me

Hurt or hold me — either…

Gets so joyous

even when I’m falling apart

I act unhappy like its an art

And then When he does he

says I’m overreacting

Or thinking too far into the future

And then his soul smacks me

I’m not ready

I’m not ready

FFFF

But fuck me and love me till I am

Why don’t you just leave me now, so I can grieve your loss and move on.

I don’t wanna be stuck here anymore

No spark

Maybe it will come with time

Th…

  My heart’s made of wood so it sleeps soundly Despite the nip of pecker or mite

My joy’s made of chemicals And rings out strongly Until it trails off into dull night

Play again your pied piper song And then in canorous woe be gone

Let it stream through my head like a Rowing crew, with heavy paddles Made from a single bough

Or, ruin me in curdled milk Molest me on a snow-white down

The taste is…

Even though the night have folded over Transparent as projector paper Certain smells procure the gist of it

I have been smoking for four hundred thousand years now My lungs are sticky garnished in black resin goop

Last night you asked for some I must have obliged,

But in the morning I was blameless The hole of you buried deep between my breasts or, possibly a field

Some opium den circa 1710 Compo…

I can’t remember the last time you said I love you

But there’s a picture

Of me and a mattress

In a pile of trash

That you took

On our last trip down south

Through the towns that eventually became our houses, your home

I can tell you’ve grown comfortable

Moved your shit around to make it look like

You don’t sit in it still

I know that it’s hard to differentiate between

Love and medicine

Looking…

let’s start at the beginning -sort of in a dentist’s chair numb and blind screaming at the nurse how I loved you the ghost of a voicemail lingers did you erase it from your phone? delete it from your mind? so the world would seem more compact and kind how could you? please teach me I’m still out here screaming it echoes it fills me the marine layer wafts through red curtains to suffocate us…