why?

It’s such a wonderful delivery, I loved how the two characters showed what infatuation and being helplessly connected and in love with each other is. It’s sad and sweet.

Also, I miss him.

It was night time and I'm at home. It was a different home but in the dream it felt like it was my home. There were three guys in my dreams, they were my friends in the dream but I never talked to them. I wasn't with them either, I just knew they were there and I knew what's happening to them. They were kind of like playing around outside. And I think they were kind of attractive, although it was night time. I think I have feelings for each of them in the dream but the feeling is heavier for one of them. I don't know. They even had names but I forgot. They were playing around, even hurting each other physically for fun, but everything was fun for them. They were friends. I was only watching them but in the dream they cannot see me. Then from where I was, I decided to see them and walk to them. When I got outside they weren't there. And I was thinking of one of my nephews, 'Ikoy' and someone told me that Ikoy wants one of the rooms installed with air conditioning. Weird. I was alone and I was looking for someone I know a friend. Then a friend, Jaymee texted me saying that she is in some place called Ms. Charitos. I knew she was buying something, an ingredient to something. In the text she also told me that the items in the store doesn't have tax and she was kind of disappointed with that because it seemed she needed goods with tax. Then I walked home, which is not far, and then I came at the living room of the house. It was dark, the light wasn't turned on. But I just stood there. Then I turned on the TV to watch something and different cable channels opened, some were movies and some were tv shows. At the window was a curtain and a bit of light and outside at the porch I could see from the window curtains that there were people sitting, drinking beer. They were my relatives having a beer session. I know they were very loud outside but inside at the living room it felt quiet. I just stood there at the darkness, not wanting to watch any of the movies, I didn't talk with the men outside, I did not turn on the light. Then someone poked me twice on my elbow then my arms moved to remove the blanket on my face and everything is bright in my room and it's 8:00 am. I woke up.

I don't feel okay today. I feel so guilty on the inside for having done it again with my boyfriend, in my room, while my mommy/aunt is downstairs. I know she was asleep and she couldn't have had a clue but she might. And it hurts me inside, like I have betrayed her. I love my boyfriend and I know my family likes him too. But whenever we do it at home or in his home, I always feel guilty afterwards and it sucks. It sucks because I know I shouldn't do it because I'm not married yet and that was how I was taught but I know now that it is okay, but that's not how my mommy would see it, or perhaps even my mother. And I always feel guilty for doing it and I feel bad about how my boyfriend always sees me being guilty after we do it :(

Like you’re not thinking of me at all Like you’re not doing anything to make me feel better Like you ignore my sadness and you’re not doing anything to help me or comfort me Like you’re not really giving your best to show me you are worthy of all the love I give Like you’re no longer making efforts to show me your appreciation

Is it evil of me to think of such things? Is it wrong? Yes actually, I think it is wrong. And I should not entertain such thoughts. And only think of the times when you show your love to me. Those times when you try to understand me, those times when you are always there, times when you give your time to me, spend time with me, when you’re always present physically, when you’re being honest…

Hi, it’s been a while huh, it has been more than a week since I wrote here. And so many things has happened. I am now dating my highschool sweetheart, the one I kept on rejecting for years. But he kept coming back and after I gave him a chance, we are no longer a him and I, but an us. I have loved him, I think I always have. But the love that was preserved wasn’t as passionate as before. I committed and now I am happy, perhaps the happiest, but definitely the calmest. But not at all times. His friendly relationship with two of his female friends bother me. He did tell me that they tell him intimate things, that when they have a problem he is the go-to person. Should that bother me? He kept reassuring me though, but it still bother me at times.

I've written poems, I've drawn, and now I think I'm done. I fell in love with a man I considered to be God's blessing because indeed, he was. He helped me in so many ways and I owe him a lot of life lessons. He showed me love I never imagined I would get and I feel thankful to him. But he broke it. He made promises he never kept. He said things he would do but he didn't. He was a man of so much words. Words, the very thing I loved about him. And he's good with words. I wouldn't say he wasn't good with actions because I genuinely felt that he cared for me. And I thank him for that. Only his love for me didn't last. I'm not even sure if he did love me. But right now, I don't wanna care anymore. I am moving on and letting go. I have to forget him.

Today I had a humbling experience. I wa a fool. I had confidnce yet I lack te skills. And my reasoning was ignored by my pride. I've always been like this and this should stop. I was a fool and what happened this morning should definitely be a learning experienc for me. What a shame!!! Thankfully egeryone was kind towards me hay grabeeeee.

I think the problem is within me.

I hope this goes on and thank You God, all this is because of You.

5. Greedy Ones Where's your conscience dude? People are dying, and still you want edrything for yourself? Just be careful because the Lord is watching. I'm not saying that I'm perfect and that I have no mistakes. I am merely writing what I don't like about other people. It's just so sad that all these people and I exist in a small world. Ugh. Taena.

9:06pm Bit not every sinle time. It still hurts. and it's very difficult to share smiles with that person who exchanges sweet messages and calls with the guy you like, considering she's a friend who knew you like that guy very much. And I think tonight he's calling her.