Harmless Joke (Young Sirius Black x reader-- drabble)
A/N: thank god for study halls lmao also my smol wolfstar heart played a v tiny part in this 🌚
#4: “I’m too sober for this.”
#28: “How drunk was I?”
word count: 493 (i had way too much fun w this)
warnings: underaged drinking
Sirius says that he can hold his liquor, but everyone knows that he can’t. He has no idea what his limit is and it seems like he goes from completely sober to absolutely shitfaced in the blink of an eye. He never listens to you when you try to cut him off.
There was a big quidditch celebration happening in the Gryffindor common room, as always. You and Remus are talking about a book that you just finished at his recommendation. You thoroughly enjoyed it and so The two of you were deep in conversation, revolving around something Padfoot cared nothing for. “I’m too sober for this,” he sighs as he takes his hand off your thigh to go find an alcoholic beverage of some sort. You roll your eyes at him and continue your chat.
So, Sirius is on his third bottle of fire whiskey, which is where you usually tell him to stop. You give him a scolding look as he reaches for his fourth. He merely scoffs and shrugs you off.
Your jaw locks as you make eye contact with James from across the room. He chuckles and mouths the word, “Padfoot?” and you nod. Prongs motions you over.
“My boyfriend is a real asshole, you know that?” you sigh as you approach.
He laughs, “Oh yes, I’m well aware. I was thinking, why don’t we play a harmless joke on our, soon to be, incredibly intoxicated friend?”
“What did you have in mind?” you grin.
The next morning, you wake up, far earlier than Sirius. He’s quite the heavy sleeper, so you seamlessly slip out of his arms and give Remus a tap. You let him in on the joke, as well. Moony slips off his shirt and shimmies his way into Padfoot’s grip where you had just been. The three of you that are awake are trying not to burst out into laughter.
“Okay, okay. Be asleep,” James shushes you as he pulls you into his bed and wraps his arms around you. “That’s your cue, Rem.”
You feign sleeping whilst Remus swipes hair out of your boyfriend’s face. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”
“Morning- oh my- oh my god! Oh my-” Sirius’s face fills with panic and horror. “How drunk was I?! Moony, what are you- why are you-” He’s jumped out of bed. “JAMES POTTER- GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!”
“Wha- oh,” James’s grip loosens around you; your head is still buried in his chest, hiding your smile. “Well, you were with Remus. I just figured that Y/N was free for the night.”
You can no longer stifle your laughter and you flip over to face your boyfriend. “Listen to me when I tell you to stop drinking!” you demand between your giggles.
“So, I didn’t- and you didn’t..?” he trails off, the gears in his brain spinning.
“No, you dumbass.” You get off of James. “Now, go take a shower. You reek of booze.”
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