Not Alone (Starrk x Fem!Reader)
I envied the weak ones...
The most powerful always seemed to stand alone at the very top. In the world of Hollows, a trail of bodies usually led to the peak. Unlike others, who gladly took life to become stronger or did so out of pure survival, Starrk had no say. He didn’t know what it was like to talk to one besides himself, as anything that came near him died.
Lilynette and him were always together, the only ones they had were each other. It spokes volumes that the only companion that could survive him was technically a part of himself, a result of a being splitting into two. It could almost say he was meant to be alone...a thought he loathed and lamented.
He didn’t ask to be powerful. He didn’t want to be powerful. Weakness meant death was a higher possibility, but there was the comfort of numbers. Companionship, as the weak bounded together to survive.
Of course, the Espada were not weak. It brought him joy even if he didn’t outright show it that he could be near others. He was in a group. Yet, at the end of everyday, he still found himself alone along with Lilynette. Perhaps he wasn’t drowning in solitude anymore, but he still didn’t have what he wanted deep down.
That’s why even as he fell to the ground below, he wasn’t sorrowful. He died along with his comrades, with the other Espada. It was something he wanted instead of being left alive with no one else. He couldn’t handle the feeling of being forsaken with the sting of his other half’s death.
I am not alone...
A elbow in the ribs woke him up. He winced silently, eyes slowly opening to see Lilynette sprawled out sleeping beside him. As she flipped over in her slumber she seemed to have the innate instinct to cause him a little pain. No doubt it was a punishment for being lazy.
Starrk shook his head and moved to his side, hoping to draw the other warm body in the room closer to him. Instead he was greeted with a empty space. He sat up quickly, scratching the back of his head. His partner had been with him when he fell asleep, why wasn’t she here...?
It had been two year since the events of the Winter War. When he came to, he had been injured but alive. A woman had been at his side tending his wounds. Lilynette, much to his relief and disbelief, was at his side sleeping. She looked exhausted, but alive.
His savior had quickly become someone more to him, and he couldn’t imagine losing her.
A soft hum brought him out of his thoughts. Perched on a cushion not far from his pile of pillows, she seemed to have been mediating. A faint glow from her reiatsu, which was gentle and not overpowering, emitted from her. She kept humming with closed eyes. From what she told him before, she had anxiety and tended to do this to ground herself when it happened.
After she started sleeping next to him, the attacks became less frequent but there were still times it did occur.
I am not alone...and neither is she. As long as she was with him and Lily, he made a promise to not let her deal with this alone.
“Hey.” He called out carefully as to not startle her. Her eyes opened and she jolted a little, blushing as she realized he caught her.
“S-Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you two.”
“I won’t ever complain about seeing you.” He answered without hesitation. Her blush furthered up her cheeks and he opened up his arm. He relaxed when she came over, resting her cheek against his chest. He closed his arms around her and pressed his lips into the top of her head. “You want to talk about it?” His tone may have been sleepy but his attention was all hers.
“...can you just hold me?”
He pulled her in, sighing when Lilynette stirred but moved to sprawl over them. His love chuckled and didn’t even complain as the smaller Arrancar draped herself over their waists horizontally.
He didn’t let his eyes droop until she made herself comfortable against his chest. Until her breathing steadied and she slowly drifted off.
When he finally closed his eyes, he felt at peace. There was no dreading waking up because he knew when he did, he would not be alone.
