Luni

Ive been obsessed with planking all i do is plank until im shaking and collapsing but i fell asleep and didnt do it yesterday broke my streak im so mad

I wish i never started sh but i dont want to or plan on ever quitting just stopping a bit, i can never fully quit something i just swap it with another addiction to distract from my sh urges ive been addicted to weight loss but its not enough its too kong of a process it doesnt have the instant dopamine hit i want cuz starving isnt fun at all. I want to pick up something new sounds dumb and small but ive really wanted to try a cigarette since i was young obsessed with the idea of smoking but its too hard for me to get cigarettes everyone just vapes bruh bruh im so bored

Fuckkk in so weird no one knows the extent of my weirdness end me

Seeing my scars (even tho they arent crazy obviously or horrid) in photos makes me kinda sad idk when this realisation started cause i used to love them but when im trying to talk to my parents and their eyes are glued to my arm that makes me feel so sick and disgusting i want to quit so bad sometimes i catch myself wishing i never even had then and its so odd cause i used to want them so bad for self validation

I really struggle to regulate my body temp idk why but im always extremely cold or extremely hot, its not even warm in my room but im burning up and feel dizzy what is going on omg so annoying and idk why but recently every time my school shirt touches my stomach i freak out it feels like i (maybe tmi) have some kinda rash or something I thought it would be from anxiety since i experience intense anxiety that show signs though me physically but theres nothing there it just feels incredibly uncomfortable almost sensitive wtf is going on

If I see another girl blog post with anything to do with Lana del ray I’m gonna blow my shi clean off I press dislike this post on EVEY SINGLE ONE BUT THEY KEEP COMING BACK PLEASE GO AWAY

Im so scared about opening commissions i cant really tell if my art is good or how much its worth everyone says different things and also everyone on tumblr asking for comms always have empty blank accounts and im 100% they are bots or scammers it makes me not want to trust and make art for anyone

Its about to be 7am still cant sleep might be time to try do a pushup

I cant sleep cause my bed smells like the shampoo the hairdresser lady used on my hair. It doesn’t smell like it normally does and its throwing me off omg im so tired let me sleep

Its gonna be 4am soon and im obsessing over peoples animal crossing layouts and themes i wanna do mine like an outdoorsy rural Japan with a few roads but i really dont wanna lay out and make all the custom road patterns cause i dont wanna pay for Nintendo online

For years when i was younger i told everyone i saw people and things and i genuinely did i vividly remember seeing people and stuff that wasnt there i was a very paranoid kid and Everytime i found a new thing that scared me i would see it over and over, like when someone told me about bloody mary when i was i think 7 and i was so scared i couldn’t enter rooms with mirrors and I swear i would hallucinate her out of pure fear. My parents thought i was crazy and took me to get my eyes checked but i was perfectly fine yet i kept insisting i saw people especially these guys that i called the lines. They were like a silhouette of people but made out of scribbles and they would be around my house even in public too, i remember telling my cousins about it and they made fun of me so i stopped talking about it but sometimes when i feel in danger i see things maybe im just paranoid. I was put into therapy at 9-10 ish and i remember around that time i struggled with sleep a lot and it was kinda cause i kept convincing myself that people or creatures were un my room i especially remember the main one was by the door the other in the corner of my room above my head and the other next to my wardrobe till this day im terrified of the dark and can never sleep in pitch black at my grown age…. I was talking to my dad about this the other day and he said if my cousins hadn’t teased me into not talking about it my parents wouldve taken me to see if i had some kind of schizophrenia especially since it was such a constant issue for me and still is at times maybe thats why im such a jumpy person. I wonder if i would’ve gotten labeled as having something and how that could’ve impacted me or helped me get the assistance i needed as a kid. Can anyone relate to this cause im really curious, and im not a fan of self diagnoses who have no clue what they are claiming to have so if i could get educated on the topic that would be awsomeness since it interests me a lot