Things-I-Heard-At-School

S: Yeah. But now i am supposed to do stuff for myself, like, can i just cook and clean and raise kids and die? Let my husband go to work and fix the car and stuff. i just wanna knit a baby blanket for our kid.

E: It’s cold.

C-at the same time:Kinky.

E:You know those dogs from the movie Up? Like when they all see a squirrel? We both see the same squirrel that distracts us from whatever we are talking about, so when you randomly say something without any context or point something out without any actual indication as to what it is i still know what you are talking about because i understand your squirrel. SQUIRREL THEORY.

Alright, if this chick wasn’t just joking around with her friend and we had actually been at an arbys i would have slapped her for the poor lady taking her order.

M:Sometimes you gotta be like that for money.

C:Odd flex but okay.

T:I can’t tell if she fell or if that was just another dramatic flop but i am scared.

T:You’re futile! No, I’m kidding I love you.

E:i think i only noticed it once winter comes around because in the summer i blast the air conditioner and have my windows down but in the winter my car is really hot.

C: like a backwards kangaroo?