all is cleansed under the pale moonlight

Poking my head in to let people know I'm still alive, just horrifically depressed and fatigued due to the current anti-trans political climate here. It's gotten to the point where I'm terrified of using the bathroom at work, and it's basically been work, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat for me for a while. Sorry if I haven't reached out to anyone, but I just don't have the energy these days on top of not knowing what I'd even say other than "my state is actively trying to kill me" without sounding like a paranoid conspiracy theorist.

Going to continue to be sporatic as best because of real life events. I'm not trying to ignore or slight anyone, I'm just going through an incredibly rough period because of said real life events outside of my control and right now I would rather be elsewhere, sorry.

"Everything happens so much" is both a concise summary of my life and the life of most iterations of my muse. Vileblood Adrian and ELVEN GLORY have the most.

Since Valentine's Day is approaching at mach speed, is your muse a romantic or no? Would they be the type to celebrate something like Valentine's Day? To answer my own question, Darkmoon Knight Adrian is romantic if you can get passed the "chivalrous pervert" bit. It kind of comes with the package, pun not intended. He will certainly bring you roses, but very much likes the thorns, if you get what I mean. Carian Knight Adrian is very much a classical romantic and some of that zeal definitely comes from years of suppressing being gay in order to please his parents but also a desire to serve. Aaaand then there's Vileblood Adrian who is the exact type of person to just say "Love is just chemicals in the brain" while not meaning anything inherently negative about it. Doesn't really understand romance, being someone who does not experience romantic attraction.

Gotta love the endless negative feedback loop of "I'm too depressed to really do anything, especially creative wise" and "Not doing anything, especially creatively, is making me severely depressed." It's the worst kind of circus.

My mind was going in the "I want to be able to make earthquakes with sorceries in ER" like it was something completely novel with no pre-existing foundation and realized I just described something gravity sorceries very well could do. Or, at least it's in the realm of something feasible with the way sorcery works in the ER universe.

Super low energy right now due to real life stuff I'd rather not get into, at least outside of IMs/Discord. Going to be another week of low activity outside of maybe reblogging aesthetics and musings.

You ever find short videos and go "That's my fucking muse" because of the vibes?

Really hoping things come back to life around here because goddamn it is deader than the dinosaurs

I like how Darkmoon Knight Adrian being fairly religious, just not in a quasi-Christian way contrasts Carian Knight Adrian, who is very loosely spiritual without having a specific doctrine. I wouldn't even call him a moon worshipper in the same way my DS3 verse is. There's certainly reverence, but it's more removed and less personal than it would be for someone who is deeply religious. (And of course, it goes without saying Vileblood Adrian is pretty far from being religious or spiritual and definitely doesn't trust organized religion.)