I didn’t even think about the fact that Armand is likely completely desensitised to sexual abuse being broadcasted for all to see because his own was painted and hung in museums for millions of people to gawk at. Not only does he think his abuse was love, he thinks it’s not a big deal for it to be shown off. Sure, it hurts, but just push that down and don’t think about it.
The video is a means to an end. Yes, it’s undeniably bad, but it happened to you and you’re fine, right? Right? So Lestat will be too… eventually. Won’t he? People will talk for a while but it’ll all be washed away by time. What matters is right now.
Just keep pushing it down. Don’t think about the donations. Don’t think about the voyeurism forced onto you. Don’t think about the centuries of eyes undressing you, that you exist in public and private collections. Don’t think about the new wave of people visiting the Louvre in light of Daniel’s book to make degrading comments about what they want to do to you, posting it online to their followers. Don’t think about what this will do to Lestat, who you love. This is love. This is what love can look like. Love is supposed to hurt. And it’s a means to an end. Lestat is strong. Much stronger than you. That in part is what you love about him. He’s what you could never be. He will be fine. Just don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.
