ań

he was a stranger, but nothing about his presence scared you. sure, being alone with a man at night, just shy of being isolated due to where the beach was located, would alarm most women. but something about him, particularly, didn’t phase you.

maybe it was the fact he never seemed to be paying you any attention, assumingly lost in his thoughts. from the atmosphere alone, it seemed like you two were there for the same reason– to unwind and be alone.

and, for some reason, despite there being another body around, it never felt like you were impeding on each other’s space. in fact, it seemed almost welcoming– as if you were silently telling each other ‘i won’t bother you, so please, keep doing what you’re doing.’

this particular evening, the tide was high, so you opted to sit in the sand near the steps of the exit. you were, undoubtedly, much closer to your stranger acquaintance there versus your usual spot essentially in the water. 

for the first time in the thirty plus days you both had been frequenting the beach, he actually looked at you. it seemed as though he was analyzing you, like he was trying to memorize your shape, the way you had your body positioned on the earth.

you made eye contact and he froze, quickly darting his attention away from you, hopefully before you had noticed his lingering gaze. of course, you had, offering a friendly smile, though he wasn’t looking in your direction anymore to see it. 

his heart was pounding against his ribcage, cigarette quivering between his lips because he was feeling so nervous. god, you’d think he’d never even looked at a woman before. he had, but you were the first one to actually make him feel something.

you stood up, cautiously approaching him. you figured, since he finally acknowledged your presence, no matter how short-lived, you would attempt to introduce yourself. if he brushed you off, then you’d know he wasn’t interested in befriending you and move on. 

“hi,” you greeted softly, careful not to startle him.

his body jolted slightly, his head slowly turning to face you. his eyes darted all over your surroundings, barely landing on your face. god, he felt like his heart was about to fucking explode now that you’d spoken to him. your voice was so pretty, so sweet. 

“h–hi,” he stuttered, clearing his throat awkwardly. fuck, even at twenty-five, he felt like he was a hormonal, clumsy teenager again. 

“sorry if i scared you,” you giggled. his chest burned. “i just wanted to introduce myself, you know, since we’ve been seeing each other here for a while now.” 

seeing each other. you’d been seeing each other. of course, he knew what you meant, you meant it in a literal sense, but those three words made his stomach do a thousand somersaults. 

“yeah,” he chuckled nervously, snuffing out his cigarette on the alcove, “i guess we have.”

you extended your arm out towards him. “i’m y/n,” you smiled.

he hesitantly took your fingers in his. he swore his heart stopped the moment you two touched. “yuta. yuta okkotsu.”

“wow, so formal,” you teased, shaking his hand once, then releasing it.

yuta laughed, “sorry,” sending you an almost apologetic smile.

“don’t be,” you playfully nudged him. 

yuta could listen to your voice for hours. he was almost tempted to record your conversation in his voice notes so he could listen back to it later whenever he wanted. well, ‘conversation’ was more like you rambling about the mysteries of the universe while yuta just listened, since he was a man of few words. he found it endearing. he didn’t want you to stop.

“fuck, it’s getting late,” you said some time later, glancing at your phone, “lost track of time.” you rummaged through your pockets to locate your wallet and keys, making sure they hadn’t fallen out at any point during the evening; you’d been maneuvering around a lot. then, you looked up at yuta again and smiled, holding out your phone to him. “would you maybe want to exchange numbers?”

oh, he was fucked. 

it took yuta probably a good five minutes every time you messaged him to figure out what he wanted to say in response. he was a fucking mess, and you’d only been talking for a week. he didn’t know how he managed not to fall apart when you two spoke in person at the beach if he could barely hold himself together to reply to a damn text. 

you: there’s an eclipse this friday!! i think the view from the beach will be phenomenal yuta: really? that sounds awesome you: i’ll bring some snacks!!

god, he wanted to kiss you. so fucking badly.

yuta: what do you drink? i can bring something too you: hmm… peach milkis? they should have them at the h-mart downtown. if you don’t live far from there  yuta: im only about a ten minute drive. peach milkis it is.

was this… a date? yuta was going crazy thinking about it. should he ask? should he not say anything?

“fuck, i don’t wanna make things awkward,” he thought to himself, mentally groaning. 

well, it didn’t take much for yuta to admit to himself that he was down bad for you. so fucking bad. he shocked himself, really, because he never cared much for romance– or people in general at all. he was a bit of a loner, but he didn’t mind. he did have a small handful of good friends, but he hadn’t seen them in a few months given everyone’s hindering work schedules. 

for the entire week, he kept thinking about friday night and your ‘date’ together. he was simping so hard that he went to h-mart immediately after your drink request earlier in the week, not even waiting for when he would be on that side out town– because he would be, since his job was a few streets away– but, instead, the second after he read your text, he was standing up and grabbing his car keys off the hook. 

“i’m losing it,” he huffed to himself, now friday night and parked at the beach. he dropped his forehead onto the steering wheel and sighed, “i’m getting way too ahead of myself, i don’t even know how she feels about me yet.”

there was a soft knock on the passenger’s side window, his body jerking up abruptly from the sudden interruption.

“my bad!” you laughed, voice muffled on the other side of the closed door.

you held up two bags of chips with a biggest, most beautiful smile on your face and he wanted to just ask you to throw them in the trunk and sit on his lap so he could kiss you all over. 

yuta took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut tightly for a moment to rid his fantasies so he could talk to you like a normal person who wasn’t completely head over heels in love with you. 

he emerged from the driver’s seat, quickly grabbing the milkis and the picnic blanket he had brought from the backseat before joining your side. you gave him a friendly hug, like you always did now that you two had become friends, and he mourned your absence once you pulled away.

as usual, you and yuta were the only ones there. you weren’t sure if you two were just incredible explorers and nobody else had managed to find the place, or if they just weren’t interested. in any case, it was nice. being alone with yuta always felt nice.

unsurprisingly, you were talking more than he was; it’s something you noticed since the night you officially met, but hesitated to ask about it. you didn’t want to assume it was for any reason other than him just being someone who didn’t have much to say. you’d known people before who became upset when you questioned their behaviour.

“is there… anything you’d like to share?” you asked, hoping that was a much less daunting way to address your curiosity. you wanted to know more about him, but were holding out hope at some point he’d just start talking about himself, too. maybe a small, subtle push wouldn’t be so bad.

“oh, um,” he started, shifting his body slightly on the blanket. he was surprised you had asked that. he was enjoying your deep dive into astronomy so much that he didn’t even think about himself at all. “what do you want to know?”

you perked up, breaking out into a smile. “i don’t know, everything?” you answered, “i’m always talking about myself, but i want to know about you. who is yuta okkotsu?”

“my full name?” he teased, “wow, so formal,” pulling the same, first joke you had made with him in return.

“ah, so you can be funny,” you smirked, taking a sip of your milkis, “now i’m even more interested in getting to know who you are behind that serious demeanor of yours.”

yuta talked more than he had in his life, he discovered, once you initiated the conversation. he found himself to actually like talking for once, not feeling like he was being too much or not enough. nothing about you screamed judgement against any personality trait of his. god, had he hit the fucking jackpot with meeting you? he felt so lucky to have found someone who truly understood him, who never expected him to be anything more or less than him: yuta okkotsu. 

“you’re really cool, yu,” you hummed softly, twiddling your fingers in your lap. did… you just call him yu? a nickname? his stomach twisted into knots, cheeks turning hot. he was a fucking goner. “i’m glad i decided to say hello to you that night.”

“i’m glad you did, too.”

it fell quiet, but not uncomfortably so. the whispered swirls of ocean wind rushed through your hair, brushing cool against your cheeks. thankfully, you had decided to wear a hoodie– it wasn’t cold, but chilly enough to bundle up some. 

you both sat there, just looking up at the sky, waiting patiently for the eclipse to arrive. when it finally did, you gasped, tapping yuta’s shoulder excitedly as you pointed at the moon. 

“oh my god, it’s starting!”

and when your hand fell off his shoulder and mindlessly onto his resting beside you, he stopped breathing. you were too focused on the eclipse to notice. he could barely concentrate on it, thoughts going haywire at your touch on his skin. he wanted to flip his palm face up and intertwine his fingers with yours. he wanted to rub your knuckles and tell you how beautiful you are.

“yuta?” your voice, slightly confused, pulled him out of his head, “what’s up?”

he hadn’t realized he was staring at you, his feelings for you overflowing nearly uncontrollably. he was so fucking screwed.

“i think i love you,” he blurted out before he could even make a rash decision. your eyes went wide. his stomach sank. “oh– fuck, i didn’t mean– oh, god.”

he thought you would reject him immediately and leave, but instead, when his eyes found yours again, you were beaming.

“we only just met,” you giggled, tilting your head at him gently, “how can you love me?”

he scratched the back of his head. “maybe not love, but… i like you. a lot. i’ve never felt this way for anyone, ever, so i just thought– i thought it was love,” he chuckled nervously. “i’m very inexperienced, as you can see.”

you snorted, throwing your hand over your mouth to stifle your laugh. “you’re cute,” you said, “i also like you.”

“shit, i knew you wouldn’t feel the same– wait, what?”

you laughed again, this time shifting your body closer to him just a tad. your hand was still resting on top of his, so you did what he was agonizing over in his head earlier and slid yours underneath his palm to hold it. 

he inhaled sharply, eyes flickering between your fingers interwoven with one another and your sweet, oh so fucking sweet and beautiful face now glowing the moonlight once more since the eclipse had passed. 

“i like you, yuta,” you repeated, squeezing his palm. your free hand came to rest on his cheek as you cupped his face, “like, a lot, actually. tonight has only made my feelings more clear to me.”

“holy fuck,” he exhaled, breathing heavily, “you’re serious? this isn’t a cruel joke?”

you chuckled, thumb swiping across his cheekbone as you shook your head. “no, it’s not a joke. i’m serious.”

your face was hovered in front of his now. he could feel your breath on his lips, tempting him to lean in and kiss you. but, he wouldn’t until you allowed him to– if that’s where this was going.

“do you want to kiss me, yu?” your voice was so low and raspy that it sent blood straight to his core, heart thumping wildly in his chest.

the way you were looking at him made him feel insane. “god, yeah,” he breathed, “i’ve wanted to since the night we met.”

“okay,” you smiled, “then kiss me.”

he was clumsy at first, which only made sense considering he had never kissed anyone before. he tried to mimick what he’d seen in films and porn, but it really didn’t prepare him for the real thing at all. 

you moved to guide him, hand sliding back to the nape of his neck as you held him there, slipping your tongue delicately into his mouth. he groaned, squeezing your hand still resting in his on the blanket in response.

“you’re sensitive, aren’t you?” you muttered against him with a light chuckle before biting down on his bottom lip. he whimpered, nearly coming his pants just from that. you pulled away with a smirk, maintaining your closeness to his face and eye contact. “do you want to do more?” you asked gently, not wanting to pressure him, but wanting to let him know where your feelings stood. you’d be fine with anything, whether it was stopping, taking things further, or continuing making out just as you were. “we can stop, if you want.”

yuta swallowed, cock twitching in his pants. he very clearly knew what he wanted. “i–” he started, falling nervous. you smiled at him reassuringly, and it actually helped him calm down a little. “i’ve never– but i want–,” you stayed quiet, permitting him all the time he needed to tell you his desires, “i want you. i want to touch you. all of you.” 

you kissed him again as you slowly lifted your legs over him to straddle his thighs, sinking down into his lap. you felt his cock jump against your clothed cunt, causing heat to immediately pool to your stomach. you parted your lips from his and ghosted his ear. “you can touch me anywhere you want,” you whispered, sweet and enticing.

something broke in him then, and he was pawing at your clothes desperately, kissing you sloppily, spit dribbling down your chins as his hands slid beneath your hoodie to cup your breasts.

you weren’t wearing a bra and he just about lost it. “fuck,” he breathed heavily, pulling back to look at your pretty face up close some more, you were flushed and… needy. you needed him. “you’re so damn beautiful.”

he rolled your nipples between his fingertips, groaning every time a soft whimper escaped your mouth. his tongue was on your neck, licking and sucking at a matching pace to his fingers toying with your tits. 

“y-yuta,” you gasped, gripping his strands as he pinched the sensitive buds whilst sucking a dark claim into your throat.

“again,” he murmured, “say my name like that again.”

“yuta!” you whined, rutting your hips into his lap as he picked up his pace.

“again.”

you cried his name over and over, cunt begging for more stimulation. in an instant, he had you flipped onto your back, sliding your hoodie off and over your head. his eyes lowered, full of hunger and intense need for you. you were looking deep into his irises, chest heaving as you waited for him to touch you again.

he sent you a smirk before dropping his head down to where you needed him the most. he teased your waistband, relishing in your whines before sliding them and your panties down to your ankles and off your body. his fingertips trailed up the inside of your thighs, hovering dangerously close to your dripping cunt.

“where do you like to be touched? here?” his fingers slid across your pubic bone and you inhaled sharply, “maybe here?” he placed them in a v-shape to spread your folds apart. your pussy was so pretty and glistening for him. “or is it here?”

you choked the moment his tongue met your clit, two fingers gently sliding into your needy hole at the same time. you were already squirming, back arching as he curled into your pleasure point almost immediately. you could feel his snakebites grazing your folds with each movement of his tongue, the cool metal sending shockwaves through your entire body.

“jesus– fuck–,” you moaned, “are you sure you’ve never done this before?” you were breathless, already nearing the edge.

“never,” he muttered against your sex, “guess i’m just a natural,” tone smug.

you gripped his hair with a loud cry as he quickened his pace, body shaking as he finally pushed you to climax. your throat broke, sweet cum spilling out of you onto his hands and face, he groaned, eyes rolling as he slurped all of you up, licking his fingers clean, too. he lifted his head away from your hips and sent you a smirk, clearly feeling proud of his work.

“oh my god,” you huffed, “that was– yeah, you are a natural.”

you pulled him in to kiss you, tasting yourself on his tongue. one hand reached to unzip his jeans, palm sliding beneath his boxers to tease his cock. he whimpered into your mouth, shuddering at your touch. without breaking the kiss, he removed his pants and boxers, tossing them aside. 

he was whining as your thumb swiped across his leaky tip before feathering his prominent vein, spreading his precum all over his length. his hips involuntarily jerked forward as soon as you wrapped your hand around him fully, impatient to feel what you were about to give him. you started slow, maintaining eye contact, pussy clenching around nothing as he huffed loudly and face twitched continuously. 

“shit– god, keep going,” he groaned, “twist a little– fuck– yeah, just like that, baby.”

your stomach flipped at the nickname, taunting you to pump him faster. his arms were shaking as he tried to keep himself from falling onto you with how weak he was becoming on the verge of falling apart.

“fuck, i–i’m gonna–,” he couldn’t manage it any longer, collapsing onto your chest as you pulled every drop of cum out of him. he rutted desperately into your fist, shaking against your body as hot ropes of cum landed onto your pretty tummy. when he leaned back up, he laughed, realizing it was now all over his shirt from lying against your stomach. “jesus, i’m a mess.”

you chuckled, helping him remove it. now, you were both completely bare, skin glistening ethereally in the moonlight.

“you’re absolutely breathtaking, yu," you gushed, palm grazing over every inch of his torso, “the prettiest man i’ve ever seen.”

he grabbed your wrist, eyes falling dark. this look was far more dangerous than before. “you drive me crazy,” he said low, wanting, “i’m trying to hold back, because i have no idea what i’ll do to you if i don’t.” your breath hitched in your throat, eyes glossy. “you’re the first person i’ve been with, so i don’t know what i’m capable of.”

you looked at him, body vibrating exitedly. your lids lowered, a tempting smirk resting on your face. “and if i don’t want you to hold back, then what will you do?” you purred.

“y/n…” he hissed in warning.

you lifted yourself onto your elbows so you could pull his face closer to yours. you hovered his ear, hot breath sending shivers down his spine. “don’t you fucking dare hold back,” you demanded, “give me everything.”

he growled and snapped, grabbing your hips and aggressively throwing your legs over his shoulders. you let out a small yelp when your back met the ground again, but the sand softened the fall. yuta spat into his hands, smearing it along your pussy to mix with your slick, then spread it onto his length for lubrication. his tip teased your entrance, forearms holding your thighs tautly against him. 

“ready?” he cooed, voice full of both hunger and concern.

you nodded and bit your lip. “fuck me, yuta okkotsu.”

he rolled his eyes and groaned at the use of his full name, slamming into you with a grit of the teeth. you took him perfectly and immediately, barely needing time to adjust from how soaked you were. he moaned as you clenched around him, cock pulsing against your walls.

“you feel so fucking good, baby,” he cried, pelvis slapping against your ass with ardent thrusts, “gonna make me come ‘til i’m shooting blanks.”

your laugh quickly turned into a cry of pleasure, body squirming uncontrollably on the picnic blanket and knocking over the much forgotten drinks and snacks into the sand. the squelching of your greedy cunt almost sounded like it was echoing in the wind, your loud wails rippling over the surface of the ocean.

“oh, fuck!” you screamed, throat raspy, hand moving to circle your clit. 

yuta reached to grab your chin, shoving his fingers down your throat. he hummed in elation, gaze alternating between watching his pointer and middle disappear and reappear into your mouth and his cock doing the same with your cunt. “yeah, fucking take it,” he growled, slamming into you without mercy, tip kissing your cervix with every earth-shattering blow, “fall apart for me, baby girl.”

you nodded, eyes watering, fingers working on your clit faster as he stuffed you to the hilt, stomach twisting into pleasurable knots as you were nearing orgasm. yuta groaned loudly, having felt you were about to come.

“shit, squirt on my cock,” he choked, rutting into you faster, “let me come with you.” he threw his head back in ecstacy, fucking you as deep and hard as he could, desparate to feel every fucking inch of your sweet cunt. “oh my god,” he cried, losing stamina as he reached his peak, “c–come now, baby– fuck, fuck, fuck!

your throat broke, a piercing cry erupting from it as you coated his shaft with your cum, his hot, milky seed filling you the brim. he let out a raspy whimper, collapsing onto your chest again as he dropped your legs off his shoulders. you both lay there, breathing heavily, wrapped around each other as you came to, the sweat on your bodies quickly evaporating from the cool breeze on the beach. yuta rolled off of you and over to your side, letting out a loud sigh in elation and exhaustion before pulling you snuggly against his body.

“y/n,” he called your name softly.

“yes, yu?” you followed up gently.

“you meant it, right? that you like me, actually like me, that you weren’t just wanting– sex, right?”

you propped yourself up onto your elbows so you could properly look at him; the honesty in your eyes made it clear his worries were just that– worries.

you smiled, cheeks tinted red and irises glistening with so much affection for him, your precious gift from the ocean.

“i meant every word,” you reassured him, leaning down to peck his lips delicately, “i want to see what other adventures the world has for us.”

yuta smiled then, heart settling from your promising, gentle words. “yeah,” he exhaled, “let’s see where the wind– ocean wind, specifically– takes us.”

then when he's finally inside of you, he's hitting you so fucking deep and perfect that you're floating in another dimension. you're clenching around him and he's letting out the raspiest, prettiest moans that only sends you closer to the edge.

"you're so warm, squeezing my cock like you own it."

"that's it, baby, keep getting wetter f'me."

and then his hands are on your throat, squeezing just enough but not too much, your eyes rolling back as he hits your sweet spot over and over with his intentional, deep thrusts.

"shit, do you hear yourself?"

"sucking me in like you fucking live off my cum."

"god, baby, you're gonna fucking milk me."

and when he finally releases, he's humming, smiling elated, gripping your jaw whilst he fills you up, pulsing in your hole and you're still completely lost in how good he feels, in your own orgasm- and then he kisses you all over your face whilst his hands drop to wrap around your neck, again, just right.

it wasn’t supposed to rain that evening, nor did you expect to be told your usual subway stop was out of commission due to emergency maintenance. the closest bus stop didn’t have a covered waiting area. you looked up at the grey clouds slowly changing to black, gentle raindrops bouncing off of your cheeks. it turned into a downpour within the matter of seconds. you frowned, flickering your gaze to the pavement below you, shoes soaked, reflection of yourself in the puddle showing how drenched you were. your laptop was probably completely water damaged at this point, despite your bag being waterproof. you were cold, long stringy droplets of water connecting the ends of your hair to your coat sleeves. you really should just carry an umbrella around with you on the regular.

and, it went without saying, being in the middle of winter didn’t help your misery.

suddenly, you couldn’t feel the rain anymore, a shadow now looming above your head. you looked up, seeing there was a man standing beside you. he kept his gaze forward, one hand holding the umbrella over the both of you, while the other was stuffed into his coat pocket.

“shit weather, huh?” he said after a few moments, glancing at you with a friendly smile. “the forecast always lies.”

he was beautiful. you’d never seen anyone like him. “yeah,” you agreed, silence following.

it was only the two of you waiting at the stop, the sound of pattering rain and passing cars nearly overstimulating your system. you stood still, breathing slowly, praying your body would start warming up while you were still forced to stand outside, soaked and cold.

you heard the man shuffling through what sounded like his pocket, holding a pair of handwarmers out in front of you once he found what he was looking for.

“here,” he offered, “i know it won’t do much, but at least it’ll warm you up a little while we’re stuck out here.”

your lips parted, “thank you,” whispering to him in gratitude.

he didn’t say anything further, just nodding and sending you the same, sweet smile he had when he first arrived at the street corner.

the bus was on time, thankfully. you didn’t expect the man to sit next to you for the ride, but he did. you jumped, slightly startled when you suddenly felt something weighted on your shoulders. you looked to see he had removed his jacket, much dryer than your own, and placed it over you.

“you need it more than i do.” he stood up before you could protest, beginning to walk towards the door to exit. his stop was next.

“wait,” you grabbed his wrist before he could get very far, “you’ll freeze out there!”

he chuckled and shrugged. “i’m only a block from the stop. just return it to me tomorrow.”

he was at the door now. you didn’t even have time to ask for his name, nor where you were supposed to meet him to return the jacket. you just stared in shock as you watched him step off the bus into the storm. he sent you a wave through the window as it drove off, a playful smile on his face despite his circumstances of now being the one freezing in the rain.

is he crazy?

✧･ﾟ: ✧

you tried for the remainder of the week to find him when you left the office in the evenings, eyes jumping around from face to face in the bustling rush hour crowd as you made your way towards the subway station to return home after work. you sighed, tired from carrying his heavy puffer jacket around with you for three days straight, but also from feeling bad that you still had it. you just hoped he owned a second winter coat he was utilizing for the time being.

it was sunnier that day, warmer, in terms of january weather. you sat on the park bench just above the grounds of the station for a moment to catch your breath. the train wasn’t due to arrive for another fifteen minutes, anyway.

you huffed, tossing the jacket next to you onto the bench and crossing your arms. “how does he expect me to return it to him when i have no idea who he is?” you scoffed aloud.

you heard a chuckle from a few inches away, your eyes shooting in the direction of the sound. there he was, hands nonchalantly stuffed into his pockets once again. this time, an amused smirk rested on his face, rather than the kind smile he showed you the first time you met.

“maybe i wanted you to keep it longer,” he teased, having heard what you said. you blushed, feeling a bit embarrassed, sending your gaze straight into your lap and away from him. he laughed again, taking a seat beside you, his jacket acting as a divider. “thanks for keeping it safe for me, rain girl.” you shot him a glare, which only caused him to laugh even harder. he picked up the jacket, draping it over his forearm before he stood up again. “i’m yuta, by the way, since you were wondering.”

you rolled your eyes at his playfulness, too tired to be in the mood for it. “and you couldn’t have told me that in the bus, plus where to find you? my arms hurt! your jacket must weigh, like, one hundred pounds!”

“couldn’t miss my stop,” he shrugged, still keeping up with his teasing antics. you tsked. he just kept smiling. “what’s your name?”

“i think i should make you chase me around now, trying to find me before i tell you that,” you shot back, half joking, “give you a taste of your own medicine.”

“i like you,” he complimented, grinning ear to ear, “you’re full of spunk and it fascinates me.”

“how did you even know it was me sitting here?” you groaned, throwing your head back in frustration before standing up to your feet.

“i’ve had that jacket for years, i could recognize it from a mile away.”

“right,” you huffed, “anyway, now that you have it, i’m leaving.”

“w–wait,” he stopped you mid-step, “are you really not going to tell me your name?”

you stared at him blankly, but eventually fell into a softer expression. “it’s y/n.”

“y/n,” he repeated, as if he was analyzing it, “beautiful name.” you choked, not expecting him to compliment you like that. he hummed delightedly, tucking his hands back into his jeans and taking a step closer to you. “you get flustered so easily.”

“i–i don’t–,” you sighed, “i’ve known you for a grand total of fourty minutes and i can already tell you’re a menace.”

he pouted playfully. “man, you have that impression of me already?”

“yes.”

he stuck out his tongue, “good,” then turned swiftly on his heels and stepped away from you in the opposite direction, “see you around, y/n.”

you were astonished by his attitude. he was slightly irritating, sure, but you found yourself very attracted to him. he exuded confidence, unapologetically himself, having fun and not taking life too seriously. you were intrigued. captivated. moved. perhaps you could learn a thing or two from him.

you couldn’t stop thinking about him that night, the scent of his woodsy cologne somehow still embedded in your nose. you curled up into your bed, squealing as you kicked your feet like a school girl with a crush.

“what the fuck?” you groaned, face palming yourself. “what has he done to me?”

✧･ﾟ: ✧

you couldn’t help it. every night you left the office, you looked for him. you’d see a puffer jacket in the swarm of bodies, but the shade of black was slightly off. a similar haircut and hue of brown would catch your eye, but the person’s height wasn't quite right. sometimes, you’d be halfway calling out his name, only to stop yourself when you realized it wasn’t him.

he almost felt like a mirage, someone you had just made up to curb your loneliness. you’d felt that way for a while– lonely– most of your friends either married or moved far away, not having much time on their hands to lend you anymore. in fact, you couldn’t even remember the last time you had a proper conversation with any of them past the surface of 'hope you’ve been well' monthly check ins.

sighing, you accepted your defeat, and that your life was fated for painful, agonizing solitude. you didn’t feel much else at that point, so what were you really missing out on?

“looking for me?”

a vibration of life rushed through you the moment you heard his voice, completely erasing your gloomy thoughts in an instant– yuta. you turned around, him standing now in front of you with a cheeky grin.

he held up the small plastic bag in his hand. “i bought some melon buns if you’re hungry.”

“somehow, you just keep finding me,” you exhaled, smiling.

“i’ve seen your face enough times now to recognize it.”

your heartbeat quickened. he rumaged through the bag, pulling out two packages of the bread, “want one?”

you nodded, taking it from his hands. you two sat down on the same park bench you had the previous week when you returned his coat to him.

the bun was still warm, you humming as it heated your body pleasantly while you ate it. “i haven’t had one of these in so long,” you expressed, savouring the treat, enveloped in nostalgia, “thanks for sharing.”

he shrugged, lips tugging upwards. “don’t mention it.” he took a bite of his. “you’re helping me portion control, otherwise i’d eat them all in one sitting.”

you snorted, swallowing the soft-textured pastry. the business complex quieted down fairly quickly as the two of you sat together. all of the employees had pretty much left the area to return home from their shifts by the time you both finished eating.

“ah,” you started, crumpling up your empty wrapper. you stuffed it into your pocket once you realized there wasn’t a trashcan nearby for you to throw it away in. “before i forget, should we exchange numbers?”

“thought i was a menace?” yuta teased, fishing for his phone

“you are,” your lips went straight, but not for long. “but, i don’t know. maybe we could be friends? we get along well enough, right?”

he smiled. your heart fluttered. you watched as he opened up a new contact file and passed you his phone. “here.” you quickly filled in your information and texted yourself before handing it back to him. for a moment, you thought you noticed a flicker of something unreadable flash across his face as he looked at the screen. there was a faint smile, and was he… blushing? it was a bit hard to tell in the dark evenings of the mid-winter season, but the screen brightness made it seem as if there was a tinge of red resting on his cheeks.

he offered to take you home that night, to ride the subway with you to your stop then walk you to your house from there. you refused, however. despite your friendliness, he was still a new person, and you were wary of trusting him that easily. he understood and didn’t press you, though he did feel nervous leaving you alone when it was so dark out.

“i’ll be fine,” you assured him, “if i told you the amount of times i’ve stayed overtime and left the office even later than this, it would probably send you into cardiac arrest,” you joked.

he chuckled lightly, pursing his lips in acknowledgment. “fair enough,” he said, stepping away from you just a little to start parting ways, “you’ll let me know when you get home, yeah?”

you nodded. “promise.”

he smiled. “okay. get home safely, then.”

“i will.”

you did text yuta when you arrived home, keeping your word, his heart settling immediately as he received your message. he chuckled at the selfie you sent along with it, too, a goofy look plastered on your face as you thumbed up the camera in what looked to be your kitchen.

you: safe and sound!! [image attached] yuta: great 😁 sleep well, y/n

✧･ﾟ: ✧

april

life felt a little brighter now. for the past few months, you and yuta texted and met up fairly regularly. sometimes you would meet at a cafè on weekends, but most of the time, it was just evenings after work, ever since you learned his office was located in the same complex as yours– which was easy enough to figure out as you two ran into each other in the area the first few times. now, it was just planned, rather than spontaneous. the park bench had become a second home to the both of you.

“you know,” you started, swallowing your bite of kebab, “it’s so nice to have someone to talk to. all of my friends– i mean, if i could even still consider them that– we barely talk anymore, and i haven’t seen them in over a year.”

“you must feel pretty lonely,” yuta deducted, voice completely serious.

it caught you off guard, since you were so used to his playful tone. “yeah,” you nodded, him nailing it right on the head, “you have no idea.”

his heart ached. he was happy to give you some comfort and company with his presence. “glad i can be of service,” he saluted you jokingly, and you nudged his side with a laugh.

you started allowing him to ride the subway with you to your neighbourhood stop, but still didn’t let him walk you home afterwards. as usual, he never pushed you to open up to him further. he wanted you to share what you wanted to in your own time. your comfort was important to him. he liked hanging out with you. he wasn’t in a rush to know everything about you, in fact, part of the beauty in friendship was the process of getting to know someone over time. he would cherish every moment, enjoy the present experience without worrying about what comes next.

he could feel your pain, no matter how unspoken it was. you mentioning your lack of friendships was only the tip of the iceberg of what he sensed you were battling with silently. there was this deep need within him to be with you, protect you, heal you, in some capacity. you only gave him a sliver of who you were beyond the surface, but his heart shuddered nonetheless. you were clearly hurting, and he wanted to help you fix whatever it was if it was within his means to do so.

yuta: brunch saturday? you: sure, send me the place? yuta: nah, your pick you: what about here? [map location] yuta: fuuuuck, they have shakshuka? sign me up you: 😋 10 sound good to meet? yuta: absolutely. see you then!

the rest of the week came and went, saturday arriving quicker than expected. you popped on a layer of lipgloss, checking yourself all but ten times in the mirror before making your way towards the restaurant. you had to stop a few blocks away from the building to calm yourself down before entering, because you were getting way too excited and ahead of yourself. you were taking this new friendship too seriously. lipgloss and a miniskirt? who were you kidding? you were growing a big, fat crush on yuta– if it wasn’t obvious already.

he was already sitting at the table when you entered, face beaming once he saw you step through the doorway of the establishment. you smiled, heart melting. he always seemed so happy to see you, like you simply existing brought him the greatest joy.

you stepped closer. his heart skipped a beat, now that he had a better look at how you were dressed, eyes trailing from your face down to your exposed thighs. you pretended not to notice, but god, was he shit at hiding his emotions. that’s something you learned about him pretty quickly. his analysis made you nervous, cheeks flushing even after he finally snapped his sharp attention away.

“you look great,” he cleared his throat, plastering his typical friendly smile onto his face. he was clearly trying to hide that fact he was just checking the fuck out of you.

“thanks,” you grinned, taking the seat across from him, “you look nice, too.” he did. he was wearing a beige crewneck and a slick pair of light blue jeans. casual, yet highly effective.

brunch was comfortable. warm– the kind of warmth that mimicked seeing wildflowers in spring for the first time. his smile was like that. every time his cheeks puffed out, eyes crinkling, melodic laughter escaping from deep down in his chest, you just wanted to bottle up that moment and keep it forever. to turn it into a film strip you could replay in your mind whenever you wanted. he was truly beautiful, every moment you spent together bringing more and more light into your dark days. your lonely heart was slowly starting to lift with each moment yuta was a part of. the dynamic between you two seemed so natural, almost too much at times.

something shifted not too long after that day. perhaps it was the fiery energy beginning to fill up the air as may was approaching that triggered the change.

you may not have invited yuta over to your place yet, but that didn’t mean he couldn't bring you over to his.

maybe it was the vanilla of your perfume that did it, or possibly the way your skirt was riding up your thighs just enough to tease him while you two walked through the art exhibit that evening. admittedly, he was barely looking at the actual displays at that point, far too distracted by the fact, if your hem lifted just a bit further, your panties would be visible. it was times like these that he was reminded that he was, indeed, a man, and no matter how respectful and gentle he treated you, he couldn't ignore how sexy you were; how often he dreamed about exploring between your thighs and fucking you until you couldn’t walk. what you tasted like, sounded like.

yuta had you trapped between him and the front door, locking it behind you once you were both inside of his apartment, breaths heavy, chests nearly pressed together. your fists clenched at your sides, lips parting and begging, legs trembling with pure desire.

“fuck,” he cursed, mouth dropping over your ear. you released a sound that was nearly inaudible. he chuckled darkly as he heard it. “do you have any idea how fucking crazy you were making me back at the museum?” you shivered. “your legs were practically begging to be spread apart in the middle of the fucking place.”

you could hardly breathe, heat pooling to your stomach, cunt soaked, knees turning to jelly as you prayed for him to do more. if his voice and words alone were enough to ruin you, then how much more could he wreck you with his cock?

you needed to know.

“you’re shaking, baby,” he cooed, daring to drop his hands from caging your head to land softly at your hips. he squeezed them, not too much, just enough to alert you of his intention, a quiet whimper falling from your lips. he pulled back to look at you, mischief written all over his face as he brought you in closer. this side of yuta was the polar opposite of what you were used to– and you liked it. “does somebody need me to touch them, hm?” he taunted, “does your pretty little pussy want to be fucked?”

“p-please,” you whined, almost instinctively, back sliding slightly down the door panel.

he licked his lips before dropping to his knees, hooking his fingers around the straps of your panties and pulling them impatiently down to your ankles. you lifted your feet to assist him in removing them completely, watching as he tossed them aside carelessly. he forcefully spread your thighs apart, your body causing the door to rattle as it slammed against it a little from the sudden movement. he peered up at you, eyes glistening, ready to devour your cunt, keeping his gaze burning into your eyes as he spread your folds apart, fingers tracing and pressing into you with different levels of pressure.

“jesus christ,” he huffed, elated, “you’re fucking dripping,” removing his hand off of you for a moment and lifting it to show you, “you fucking see this?” he moaned, stretching his fingers smugly as he observed your sticky mess expand between his coated fingers. “so perfect,” he placed his hand back where you needed him the most, “gonna make you scream for me.”

your nails dug into your palms as you stood there, biting your lip to silence your sweet cries, walls pulsing as he kitten-licked your bundle of nerves. the tips of his fingers prodded open your entrance, the singe from the stretch of his three fingers causing you to bite down hard enough to draw blood. you moaned, head falling back against the door while you lifted your hands to grab his hair. you were moving against him now, fingers squelching inside of you, so filthy and beautiful, while his tongue ate you out like a starved man. he could feel you were close, chuckling as he slowed the thrusts of his fingers to curl up into you hard and deep. a broken cry erupted from your throat, your grip in his strands growing devoutly as you pressed him firmer against your cunt.

“y–yu– oh, fuck,” you exhaled, eyes rolling back, unable to keep yourself from riding his face. “i’m gonna fucking come!”

“let go, baby,” he muttered against you. the vibration nearly pushed you over the edge, “give me your sweet cum.”

with one final curl of his digits and circle of the tongue, you reached your peak, hips jolting forward so violently that he just barely managed to catch your thighs to keep you still, helping you ride out your high with soft kisses and sucks on your pussy. your voice was loud, raspy, cracking as you trembled in his touch, mourning the absence of his fingers when he finally removed them from your hole. he stayed perched on his knees, looking up at you while he cleaned all of you off of him, humming blissfully at your taste. you watched him despite your blurry vision, his fingers shoved down his throat, your chest heaving.

yuta returned to his feet, face smug and full of pride, leaning forward gently to kiss your lips. you melted into him as you tasted yourself on his mouth, tongues gently rolling over each other as they snuck past teeth. your arms wrapped around his back, gripping at the material of his shirt as he deepened the kiss, his hands trailing up your spine until they reached your zipper. you heard the faint sound of undoing it down, permitting yourself to let your dress slide off your body and pool at your feet. you stepped out of it, pushing the two of you away from the front door, just leaving it there on the floor.

he picked you up, a small yelp escaping you as you folded your body around him, hands messily tangled in his hair, thighs squeezing his waist, kissing him fervently, him chaotically stumbling towards his bedroom. he dropped himself onto his back, pulling you to sit on top of him. you ground your hips against him once you settled around his lap, your arousal coating the outside of his pants.

“fuck,” he hissed, breaking away from you to breathe. his fingers dug into your waist as he forced you down onto him again, harder this time. “look at you soaking my clothes, baby,” his cheeks were flushed as he increased his speed, “might just come like this.”

you were panting, nearly out of the breath, blissful heat surging against your skin from the friction. his bulge pressed against your already sensitive clit, head falling forward limply with each thrust.

“oh– oh, shit,” he groaned, making a mess inside of his boxers with a piercing cry. he laughed, elated, gradually slowing your hips on him. he lifted you gently to sit you beside him, shimmying out of his saturated clothing and dropping the articles onto the floor beside the bed. you stared at his cock, hard and throbbing again, sticky, wet cum all over his length and thighs. “look at what you did,” he purred, flickering his gaze between you and the mess in his lap, “wanna clean it up for me?”

you were already drooling, licking up the insides of his thighs until you reached his tip, lips finally wrapping around his dripping length without giving him a verbal answer. he growled, fisting your hair to push you further along his cock, bucking up into your mouth with fervor. “yeah, like that,” he choked, back of his head pressing deeper into the pillows, “milk me again, sweetheart. swallow me.”

you struggled to take all of him, spit dripping all over his pelvis and thighs below you and down your chin. he watched you ruin yourself, sucking him in so earnestly, biting his lip, spurts of hot semen rushing down your throat as he unloaded every drop of his second orgasm into your mouth. you whined, his grip on your head loosening, you pulling away when it became too much. he watched his cum spill sloppily down your chin, your mouth unable to hold all of it. he smirked, coaxing you to move up his body further so he could help you. he licked the rest of his release off your face, swallowing the salty mixture before pushing your bottom lip down with his thumb. he grinned wickedly when he saw you had successfully swallowed what you could manage of him.

“such a good fucking girl,” he cooed, pecking your lips sweetly once, then twice, “taking me like a champ.” your mouth quivered. he could feel your skin pulsing desperately with need beneath his touch, grin spreading wider. “does someone want more?” you nodded. “baby needs my cock inside of her, doesn’t she?”

you swallowed, “yuta,” calling his name shakily, “i need you– fuck, please.”

“go ahead, then,” he taunted, moving your hips downwards to position your cunt above his tip, “let me watch you fuck yourself.”

you allowed yourself to sink down onto him, the stretch so painfully good, surging through every fiber of your being like a drug. you both moaned together, his hands settling behind his head as he watched you intensely, licking his lips, legs twitching as you slid along his length. you pressed your palms flat against his abdomen, uneven pants leaking out of you like your slick, lashes fluttering, hips moving faster.

“s-so good,” you choked every time his tip met your cervix.

he smiled at your determination; he found it so cute and endearing. “keep going like that then, baby,” he coached you gently, breaths exponentially growing shorter as you sped up, “shit– fuck yeah.” his hips were lifting to meet yours now, skin smacking against skin, passion in your veins swallowing his cock as filthy moans spilt out of you. “god, your sounds are so pretty.” he hit your pleasure point hard and deep, forcing a ragged cry out from the back of your throat. “that's it," he growled, "get loud for me.”

you did, succumbing completely to the pleasure, electricity flowing through your veins as if his cock is what you kept you alive. his hands were on your waist now, hips pistoning up into you mercilessly as you collapsed forward onto his chest. he wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tightly as your head rested beneath his chin. he could feel your drool coating his chest.

“f-fuck, yuta!” you screamed, clawing at his shoulders “gonna– ah– gonna–”

“squirt on me,” he growled, hips stuttering against you as you clenched around his length. he was nearly about to explode. “let me feel you.”

with a final cry, you released, hot liquid streaming down the sides of his shaft and all over his pelvis. he grunted loudly, voice cracking, eyes squeezing shut violently as he let go a second later, painting your battered walls with his hot, white seed.

“holy fuck, baby,” he hissed, gradually stilling inside of you, releasing his tight grip around your body slowly as you both struggled to catch your breath again. you stayed like that for a while, lying chest to chest, him still pulsing inside of you, your walls teasingly continuing to clench around him. with a satisfied hum, you managed to pull yourself up enough to look down at him, fucked-out smile looking so perfect on your face as if it belonged there.

“you feel okay?” you asked, words slurring.

“yeah,” yuta grinned, lifting a hand to tuck your sweaty, loose strands of hair behind your ears, “you?”

you exhaled, smile extending past your cheeks, “yeah. really okay. so good, actually. i feel amazing.”

he chuckled, protruding his head upwards just enough to place a delicate kiss on the tip of your nose. you scrunched it teasingly. “let’s get cleaned up, then i’ll order some takeout for us, yeah? sound good?”

you nodded, body still trying to settle. “i want fried chicken.”

✧･ﾟ: ✧

things with yuta felt… perfect. too perfect; it was almost unsettling. you couldn’t help the doom constantly lingering in the back of your mind, waiting for the other shoe to drop. he hadn’t made things official yet, despite you two having had sex multiple times and going out on numerous of what you assumed were dates. that was probably your first mistake– assuming. you were practically dating, right? that’s what this was, right?

yet, the ache stayed there, embedded and insulting you from the inside out.

maybe you were being ridiculous. it’s not like you didn’t have the power to ask him to be your boyfriend. the man didn’t have to be the one to do it. but, still, you wondered if he was feeling things as deeply as you were. if he saw you as more than a close friends and a good– really good– fuck.

it didn’t seem like he was seeing anyone else. he was so attentive to your needs, even remembering the silly little things, like how your favourite coffee shop put a little too much foam for your liking on your lattes sometimes, so he’d take a spoon and scoop the excess off the top and eat it for you. you’d smile, blushing at the sweet gesture, before enjoying your now perfect drink.

he was very present, too, not only in your life, but when you were intimate. he could sense every little change in your expressions, every tremble of your skin, like he was working to memorize every inch of you. he checked in with you often, making sure you were comfortable and felt okay, even in the midst of him pounding you into oblivion. his sweet words never felt like nothings. there was no way he didn’t feel more for you… right?

he noticed one night while you two were making slow, sweet love in your apartment. you had finally reached the point where you felt safe enough to share more with him, inviting him over, the lighthearted evening turning into a night of passionate sex.

“fuck, y/n,” he groaned, sliding into you steady and deep, “you feel so perfect around me.”

he detected the way your body clenched him ever so differently than usual. even with such a small sign, he knew. his eyebrows furrowed slightly, looking at you curiously as he came to a still.

something was clearly wrong.

he pulled out of you gently, sitting up on his knees. you looked at him, confused why he stopped. you realized soon after, though, that the lump in your throat wasn’t going anywhere. you should have known he’d figure it out sooner or later, that something was amiss.

“what’s going on?” he asked, softly, “you seem… off.”

the closer he got to you, the harder it was to suppress your feelings. he could read you all too well by now. “i’m–” you started, trying to gather your thoughts, “what are we?”

he looked surprised by your question. “what do you want us to be?”

for yuta, he was open to all possibilities. he liked you– a lot– but at the same time, he was an adult, willing to enjoy your company without the labels if that’s what you wanted.

“i really like you, yuta,” you whispered, “if that wasn’t obvious already.” he smiled. “i want us to be official. i don’t care about seeing anyone else, in fact, the thought hasn’t even crossed my mind since you shared your umbrella with me.” his heart warmed from the memory. “is that something you would want?”

in that moment, he grinned wider, heart fluttering in his chest as he leaned over to kiss you deep and sweet. he pulled away a few seconds later, resting his forehead against yours, your anxious breath mixing with his calm. “yeah,” he said, voice low and certain, “i want you to be my girlfriend.”

you bit your lip, unable to contain your happiness. your chest swelled with joy, pushing the lurking loneliness aside again. “thank god,” you laughed, relieved, “i was afraid you’d say no.”

“how could i ever say no to you?” he cooed, dropping his head slowly and deliberately to your still bare core, nipping your skin along the way, “i love taking care of you."

✧･ﾟ: ✧

july

yuta: did you try on that dress i bought you yet? you: not yet, i’ve been meaning to tho yuta: put it on when you get home tonight. im taking you out. you: oh? surprise date? yuta: of course. meet me here at 8 [map location] you: okay, mr. rizz 🤭 see you then

you stared at the clock. tick, tick, tick. it was only 1 pm– you had four more hours to go until you were finished working, five if you counted the commute home. you were buzzing with anticipation for whatever yuta had in store for you, conjuring up all sorts of scenarios in your head. your cube mate, kento, dropped his half-empty water bottle in front of you onto the desk, the sudden slam causing you to jolt, startled.

“what the hell?” you snapped.

“you’re daydreaming again,” he sighed, plopping into his chair. “we have a deadline to meet, y/n.” he turned to face you, legs and arms crossed, a cunning look resting on his face. “i bet it’s a guy.”

“what?” you gasped, shocked he was saying such a thing. you two weren’t close like that. you didn’t consider him a friend at all, just an acquaintance due to circumstances– you could hardly avoid a coworker, especially one that your boss partnered you up with often at that. “it’s not– you know what? it’s none of your business.” you huffed, refocusing on your work.

he chuckled, biting his lip in amusement as he turned back to his computer, as well. “definietly a guy.” he repeated, quieter this time.

the rest of the day dragged on so much that it felt like you were breathing for the first time in years when you stepped out of the building. the fresh, summer breeze brushed across your face, nearby food stalls with various culinary delicacies caused you to salivate. you weren’t sure if yuta had dinner planned, he didn’t specify, but with your meeting time, you assumed you would be having some sort of meal together. for that reason, you decide to fight your cravings for a small, tasty treat to enjoy on your commute home in hopes of not spoiling your expected dinner.

the dress looked even better on you than the pictures, much to your surprise. yuta had texted you on a random tuesday afternoon a few weeks before, a screenshot of a sage green dress with a decorative cut out on the abdomen area. he simply said ‘it’s otw’ to you without any further context, though it wasn’t hard to put two and two together.

“hot damn,” you smiled, feeling the most beautiful you had felt in god knows how long, “he’s going to freak out when he sees me in this.”

you opted to wear sneakers, accounting for any possible walking you’d have to endure. the pair you chose matched the dress’ colour well. you sat on the ledge of the fountain, just beside the clocktower downtown where he asked you to meet him. your heart was pounding, excitement bubbling in your stomach, as you waited for him to arrive. you were slightly early, only by about ten minutes. he messaged you that he was on his way not too long after you left your apartment.

yuta wasn’t usually one to be late. every time you two decided to hangout, he was always on the dot of your agreed meeting time. you kicked your feet impatiently, figuring he probably got stuck in some traffic. that was to be expected in your bustling city, even during the weeknights. you trusted he’d be there soon.

so, you waited.

and waited.

yuta was panicking in the taxi, running his fingers through his hair, eyes red from fighting back his frustrated tears. the traffic had barely moved for the past twenty minutes. he was still thirty minutes out, according to the map on the driver’s dashboard.

“shit,” he swore quietly, clicking mindlessly at the buttons on his phone that he, unfortunately, didn't get the chance to charge before he left to meet you, and now was dead. “fuck, this can’t be happening right now.” he was too wrapped up in making sure he made it to you on time that he forgot to grab his charger on the way out. he even tried asking the taxi driver if he had one he could borrow for the duration of the ride, but his phone model was different.

he knew how you would react. you’d give him the benefit of the doubt until a certain amount of time had passed, then you’d spiral. you weren’t completely healed of your loneliness, your fear of being abandoned, isolated, and he knew that. he couldn’t help but blame himself. “if only i’d paused for five seconds to grab the fucking charger,” he yelled silently to himself, “i’m so fucking stupid.” he beat himself up for not having memorized your phone number by heart yet to borrow someone else’s phone to reach you. he didn’t know the layout of the city well enough to trust himself navigating through the streets to where you were waiting without his phone. besides, even if he ran, he’d still be extremely late.

he knew it wasn’t completely his fault. he had no control over the pile up occurring enroute, nor your feelings in response. but, he felt it all the same. the guilt, the worry, the sadness. you were probably crying all alone at this point, believing he had stood you up. he had very little hope you’d still be waiting by the clocktower when he got there. he felt sick.

you stared at your phone screen, the text thread with yuta in view. nothing. it was nearly two hours past the time he was supposed to meet you. your heart hammered, louder, but it wasn’t from excitement anymore. it was terror, dreading the reality of the situation.

he wasn’t coming. that’s what you believed.

the corners of your eyes started to water, hot tears prickling, burning as they slid down your cheeks. you whimpered, nearly inaudibly, head pointed downwards as you fiddled with your fingers in your lap.

“what the hell?” you croaked, letting out a deflated laugh, “i can’t believe he actually stood me up.”

your lips quivered as you tugged anxiously at the material of your dress. you knew you were being irrational. yuta had never done this before, and you’d been seeing each other for six months now, give or take three months officially as a couple. there had to have been a viable reason.

but in that moment, every heartache, every painful experience from your past seared inside of your chest, and you couldn’t feel anything else.

you slammed the front door of your apartment shut with a loud bang, allowing your sobs to fall freely out of you once you were inside. you gasped, fists clenched against your chest, knees sliding to the floor as you tried to control your cries. you were so angry, so hurt. “why hasn’t he texted me again?” you gritted your teeth, thoughts loud, “did i do something wrong that made him ghost me?”

these disparaging thoughts mixed with others, all of your worst fears running through your mind. your head was pounding, ears ringing with nothing but horror. “what if something horrible happened to him?” you panicked, “fuck, what if he’s dead?”

you managed to crawl into the kitchen, body weak, head spinning, throwing open the fridge to grab a cool bottle of water. you sat on the floor, back resting against the island as you sipped slowly, squeezing your eyes shut, sobs still quietly escaping from your mouth.

at some point, you managed to make it to the couch, curling up into a ball as your eyes stained red, tired and worn out from crying for two hours straight. you didn’t have the energy to change your clothes, still wearing that stupid, beautiful dress yuta had bought for you.

there was a loud knock at the door around midnight.

“y/n,” it was yuta. you froze, “fuck, please open up. i’m sorry,” he sounded frantic, scared, “let me explain, please, i know you’re probably so mad at me right now.” you swallowed hard, curling up tighter into the pillows. your chest began to shake, slow tears forming in your eyes once again. “baby, please,” he whimpered, forehead bumping against the door as he waited patiently on the other side. “please, let me in. let me talk to you. fuck.”

you wanted to let him in. god, you fucking did. but the part of you that believed he left you stranded on purpose, that he didn’t want you anymore, was so much louder.

you heard him sigh, followed by what sounded like him sliding down the door to sit on the floor outside. “i’ll wait as long as it takes,” his voice cracked, “until you let me in, even if its all night.”

you bit your lip, silent whimpers breaking through your throat. your heart felt like it was being torn to shreds, cycling through disappointment, sadness, shame, and anger; over and over again, like a ticking timebomb.

“y/n,” he called out to you again a few minutes later, voice soft, deflated, “please.”

something broke inside of you right then. you were afraid of this part of you, the part that became enraged every time someone left you alone. you always forced it down, ignoring the pain, allowing it to fester and eat you alive. perhaps, you had finally reached your breaking point. you opened the door, slowly, eyes glowing red.

yuta noticed. he stood up off the floor, giving you a polite nod and soft 'thank you', treading carefully as he stepped into the apartment. you didn’t bother shutting the door behind him gracefully.

“y/n–”

“hours,” you cut him off, shaking in fury. you stood a few feet away from him, nails digging into your palms, “i waited hours for you to show up,” you seethed, accusatory. “no text, no call. nothing.”

“baby, my phone–”

you had him backed against the wall now, pointer digging into his chest. he exhaled sharply, feeling sorry for the deep hurt he had caused you. it was all a misunderstanding, and right now, you were too angry to hear him out. he knew that, unsure if trying to explain what happened to any degree would even be helpful currently. he was sure you’d understand in the morning, after you’d calmed down and rested well.

“fuck, yuta,” you laughed, hysterically, “i told you,” you hissed, “i told you that everyone just leaves me in the end, and what do you do?” he swallowed. “you go and do the same thing to me.”

yuta hated how turned on he was feeling in that moment. jesus christ, you were so fucking hot when you were mad. he tried to refocus on your words, on deescalating the situation, but it was increasingly difficult with the way his dick kept twitching in his jeans.

“do you have any idea how fucking excited i was for tonight? i could barely focus on my work all day,” you gritted your teeth, “and all i got was disappointment in the end.”

you were staring at him now, nostrils flared, fingers curling around the material of his shirt. your heart threatened to jump out of your throat, thighs clenching together as you just stood like that for what felt like hours. he was too afraid to move. you were too lost in your anger to be rational about the increasing heat pooling in your stomach.

for a moment, you forgot he was the one you were mad at. all you knew is that you were mad, and you needed to blow off the steam somehow.

you crashed your lips onto his, messy, hot, needy, tongue prodding his lips apart and sliding to the back of his throat. he grabbed your hips, pulling you aggressively against his body, pressing himself harder against the wall. you sloppily unbuttoned his jeans, shoving your hands into his boxers and freeing him hastily. he choked, hands releasing your sides to grip your hair wildly as you started pumping your hands along his veiny, dripping shaft, precum smearing all over his cock. he peered at you through hooded lids, cheeks flushed, drool sitting all pretty on his lips, while loud cries erupted from his chest.

“fuck– fuck, oh my god,” he growled, thrusting into your fists.

“i’ll really make you fucking sorry for standing me up,” you hissed, pumping him faster, your deadly gaze on his face unwavering.

“m–my phone– ngh– died before i could– jesus– could tell you what happened,” he choked, pulling on your hair hard enough that your head was thrown back. you let out a guttural groan in both pain and ecstasy.

“yeah?” you taunted, bitterly, “making up excuses now?”

“n–no,” he huffed, losing himself extraordinarily fast as you dropped to your knees, taking him into your mouth, “fucking– mph– there was an accident on my– right there, shit– on my route and i– jesus, i’m gonna fill your pretty little mouth– i went all the way to where we were supposed to me– fucking hell– meet, praying you’d still be there, even though i was–,” he tried to breathe, “i was so fucking late, and you were g–gone,” he was a moaning mess, shoving you down onto his cock, your beautiful choking sounds on his size being the most glorious song he had ever heard. “so, i got here as– god, baby, i’m going to fucking come– fast as i could.”

he reached the edge, body shaking violently as he spurted his hot, creamy cum down your throat, helping drag your mouth along him slowly as he rode out his high. “fuck,” his voice cracked, weak, “you’re so fucking perfect, jesus christ.”

you released him with a pop, standing up to your feet, licking your lips clean of him with a threatening look plastered on your face. you looked so hostile that his cock was hard again instantly.

“right,” you spat, tapping his cheeks sarcastically. he inhaled sharply. he always assumed he was the dominant one in the bedroom, but fuck, was he about to bow at your feet in uttmost worship of how mean you were treating him. you started walking away, disappearing into the bedroom. yuta kept his back glued to the wall, unsure if you wanted him to follow or stay put. “are you coming or not?” you scoffed, voice echoing down the hallway.

he cleared his throat, cheeks hot, bumping into the wall as he turned the corner to reach your bedroom. “shit,” he muttered, letting out a quiet groan in pain, rubbing his knee where it met impact.

you were sitting on the edge of the bed, fully bare, arms crossed and tapping on your biceps as if he was running out of time to earn your forgiveness.

“sit,” you said, lips straight, shifting to the side slightly to give him space. once he did, you stood up, positioning yourself in front of him. “shirt off.”

he obliged, head buzzing, while you completely removed his pants. he didn’t dare to touch you, just looked up at your piercing eyes, hands gripping the sheets, while he waited for further guidance.

you laughed, low and wicked, placing a hand on his shoulder as you leaned over his ear. he shuddered from your touch. “i’m going to ride you until you never even think of leaving me again.”

he never thought that in the first place, but he’d pretend he had in this moment if it meant you would ruin him for it. you straddled his lap, knees indenting into the mattress on either side of his thighs, sinking down onto his cock with an elongated, dramatized moan. he was already short of breath, hands hovering over your waist, afraid to fully place them there, while you started bouncing on him.

“mmm, yuta,” you purred, balancing yourself on him by gripping his shoulders, “i hope you know how fucking pissed i am at you right now,” you spat, sucking in your teeth as your cunt swallowed him whole.

“oh– fuck– i know,” he choked, stuttering, “be fucking mad at me,” finally touching your sides, “fucking destroy me if you need to.”

you picked up your pace, his head falling back limply as both his and your nails dug into each other’s skin. you cried, relishing in the sweet sound of your ass slapping against his thighs, hair disheveled and a mess, skin hot and glistening with sweat and dark passion.

his hand found your throat first, teeth gritting and hitting you deep as his hips started meeting yours halfway. you grabbed his wrist for leverage, using your free hand to choke him in return. he let out an ungodly sound, pistoning into you faster the more your fingers squeezed his throat.

“fuck, baby,” he hissed, eyes rolling, breaths raspy, “fucking ruin me.” he leaned forward, wrapping his mouth around you pretty, perked tits, circling them fast and slow as you both plummeted towards release. he nibbled gently on your nipples, you gasping ecstatically. “will you come for me?” he muttered against your chest, “please, please,” begging, “i promise i’ll never hurt you again if you let me feel you.”

you didn’t care if those words were a lie. yuta knew they weren’t, but you didn’t know what you believed right then. all you wanted was for him to fall apart for you and stuff your pretty little cunt with his cum, to milk him desperately.

“touch me, then,” you demanded, prying his hand off of your neck and placing it atop your swollen, puffy clit, “make me come.”

he did as you said, messily coating his fingers with your slick, flicking, pinching, and rubbing your bundle of nerves with every bit of his strength. he didn’t stop assaulting your walls with his cock, either, synchronizing the speeds of his hand and thrusts. you were screaming at this point, drowning out your own anger and focusing entirely on the pleasure coursing through your veins. your fingers tightened around his throat some more, his around your hip as he slammed up into you. you felt boneless, wrecked, nearly about to burst.

“fuck, fuck, fuck,” he growled, pulsing inside of you, buried deep to the hilt, ready to fall over the edge.

he slapped your clit, hard, an ungodly groan coming from your chest. your body shook, eyes rolling violently as you squirted all over his cock, his continuous, ardent thrusts pulling every bit of cum out of you. he sucked in his teeth, pressing hard onto your centre to steady you on him as he released his seed, filling you to the brim. he watched as the mixture of your cums oozed out of your hole, coating his shaft and dripped onto his pelvis.

“holy fucking shit,” he cursed, hips sputtering to a still, “you’re so fucking good to me.”

you collapsed forward, yuta catching you in his arms as he allowed you both to slowly fall back onto the bed together. your body trembled against him, his heartbeat still working to calm itself. his fingers were tracing your spine, listening to your steadying breaths as you settled.

the guilt didn’t give you any time to rest, rising straight into your chest. your eyes went wide once you realized what you’d done right then. allowing yourself to fall into his arms when you were so, so angry. but, not only that, you failed to trust him, to believe that his failure to show up that evening was no fault of his own.

you leaned up, looking at him, panicked.

his eyes furrowed with confusion and concern. he gulped, afraid you were about to tell him you never wanted to see him again.

“i–i’m sorry,” you whimpered, “i don’t know what came over me, i shouldn’t– fuck– i jumped to conclusions instead of trusting you and–”

“baby,” he soothed comfortingly, hands coming up to cup your cheeks, thumbs swiping across them delicately, “slow down.” he moved to rub your back in small circles again, more and more weight lifting off your chest with each rotation. you took a deep breath. “that’s it,” he smiled, voice gentle. he was always so gentle with you. “just breathe.”

“is it true?” you asked, eyes glistening with both fear and hopefulness, “that this was all just a huge misunderstanding?”

he nodded. “everything i said is one hundred percent true. you could even take a look at the traffic maps that matched the taxi route data in my rideshare app and–”

you chuckled, “i’m not going to do that,” rolling your eyes playfully, “i… believe you. yeah.” you nodded proudly, straightening your back with confidence, “i’m not going to allow my past to dictate the present.”

yuta snorted. it was as if you were quoting a movie script, pepping yourself up, and it was adorable. then, he smiled, so honestly and full of love. “i’m proud of you,” he kissed your cheek, “i’m sorry for making you cry and worry and… get so angry.”

“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you shook your head, “it’s all on me for making assumptions.”

there was a moment of silence, his dick urging to speak up. “well,” he pursed his lips, “at least the sex was worth it, don’t you think?”

you scoffed, but smiled all the same. “i’m trying to have a serious moment here!”

“sorry, sorry,” he smirked, throwing his hands up in surrender.

you cleared your throat, “you’re not wrong, though,” muttering nearly silent. he heard you, of course, smiling wider. you sighed, crossing your arms. “anywaaaay,” you drew out dramatically, turning the conversation around. your face softened. “i’m working on things, truly,” you admitted, “and i’m just– really grateful you’re willing to stick by me through all of this.”

“i love you,” he let slip, not even bothering to hide his feelings for you. he didn’t care if it was too soon or not. it was the truth. “of course i’m going to be there for you.”

your eyes widened, breath hitching in your throat. not once have you ever received those three words from someone. you were utterly astounded, unsure how to react. your heart was pounding, mind a mess. “d-did you just–”

“yes,” yuta smiled, lifting his head to kiss you softly. you immediately calmed from his touch. he was always doing that, it seemed. it was like he had some sort of superpower. “i love you, y/n.”

you sat there for a moment, processing his admission. for a while now, you had been highly aware of your own deeply rooted feelings for yuta. and, if you weren’t so convinced no one wanted you, you would have never doubted for a second that he felt the same.

you allowed yourself to finally feel happy– truly happy– and receive the love he was giving you. the love you deserved. your eyes crinkled thin and the corners of your lips spread out from ear to ear. you felt like a kid on christmas.

crimson tainted your cheeks. “i love you, too, yuta. so much.”

✧･ﾟ: ✧

october

“what if they don’t like me?” you panicked, rubbing your palms along your thighs as you and yuta sat in the back of the taxi. “what if they hate me and–”

“baby,” he spoke gently, prying your frantic hands from your lap and intertwining them with his. “you’re doing it again.” you took a deep breath in shakily, remembering what he had taught you; how to calm yourself down when you were spiraling. “good,” he smiled, “in and out, slowly.” he leaned over and kissed your cheek sweetly, fingertips running across your knuckles. you released one final exhale, heart rate balanced again. “better?”

you nodded. “yeah. much.”

he pulled you in closer to his side. you allowed your head to fall onto his shoulder.

“i promise that they’re going to love you,” he whispered reassuringly. “if you get along with me, then you’ll absolutely get along with my friends.”

you nodded, swallowing hard as he squeezed your hands tighter. it didn’t take much longer for you to arrive at the restaurant; it was beautiful, and not too packed, either, so you were able to feel more at ease.

“yuta,” you heard a voice call out from the far left corner, “over here!” you looked up to see a man smiling and waving at the two of you. two others sat with him.

yuta waved back, rubbing your hand gently as a reminder that things would be okay. he turned and gave you a quick peck on the cheek for extra measure before guiding your bodies over towards the table.

his friends watched as he pulled out the chair for you, helping you hang your bag and jacket on the back of it before shuffling to take the seat across from you. they were in shock.

“damn,” one of them whistled, “eighteen-year-old you would have laughed at that,” he joked, “such a gentleman now.”

he tsked, slapping his arm playfully. “those days are far behind me.” you chuckled at the matter. yuta used to be a playboy? you would have never imagined. “anyway,” he cleared his throat, “this is my girlfriend, y/n.” he smiled widely, introducing you to the group. “y/n, this is yuji, toge, and megumi.”

you nodded politely, “nice to meet you,” greeting them softly.

“he hasn’t shut up about you for months,” megumi rolled his eyes playfully, “i’ve never seen him act like this, it’s…” he paused to think for a moment, “nice,” then smiled. “whatever you’re doing to him, keep it up. love looks good on him.”

you choked on your water, toge’s, who sat beside you, eyes going wide as he started patting your back concerningly. yuta frantically grabbed the glass from your palm, standing up to run over to your side.

raising your hand up to stop him, your coughs mixed with laughter. “i’m fine,” you inhaled once you were able to breathe again, “it’s just water.” yuta slowly sat back down in his seat, pulse settling. you were still laughing, and eventually he smiled. “you guys are dramatic.”

“what can i say?” yuta teased, “i learned from the best.”

if it were last year around this same time, you would have been offended by that comment. but, you had come such a long way with healing your trauma and the way you responded to things that you found it comical. “sure,” you snorted, smirking, “you know you’re just as dramatic as me.”

“ain’t that the truth,” yuji laughed, lifting his glass as if he were making a toast.

“so everyone’s just teaming up on me now, is that it?” yuta groaned, pretending to be hurt as he pouted mockingly with his hand over his heart. “it’s fine, i get it,” he fake cried, “i know she’s cooler than me.”

you grinned, satisfied.

the rest of the evening continued on like this, lighthearted banter, as well as the four boys reflecting on their past together. you surely learned a lot about how yuta used to be when he was younger. it was entertaining.

you didn’t expect megumi to stop you to talk with him privately for a brief moment as the five of you exited the restaurant together. he gave yuta a reassuring nod, that it wasn’t anything he needed to be concerned about. he trusted him, the rest of the guys stepping off to the side to let the two of you chat.

“i meant what i said back there,” megumi’s voice was quiet, delicate. he turned and faced you, a soft smile resting on his face. “yuta has been through a lot, i’m sure you’re aware,” you nodded, swallowing hard, “and i truly see how much happier he is now that you’re in his life. thank you,” he said with deep sentiment, “for loving him well."

your heart warmed, fluttering heavily with affection. yuta had poured his heart out to you not too long after you two started seeing each other more seriously over a lazy date night, pizza in his apartment with some card games. you learned quickly that he was not so different from yourself.

“i’ve… never loved anyone like you,” he said, gentle and honest, shuffling the deck. “no woman i dated ever saw me, like, really saw me, until you came around.” he smiled in gratitude. “thank you for letting me in, for trusting me, for allowing me to help you,” every word was felt deep within your body, “seeing you do the same for me is… i don’t know– crazy,” he laughed lightly, still surprised he winded up in this situation, “i never thought i’d have someone care for me the way you do.”

“yuta,” you called him gently, placing your hand over his as he set the deck onto the table. like instant medication, both of your pulses calmed from the shared touch. “the day you walked into my life was the day i knew you were going to be someone special to me,” you smiled. “turns out you're my person and i’m yours.”

you grinned widely at megumi, tears forming in the corners of your eyes from his beautiful words.

he looked horrified. “fuck, did i say something wrong–”

“no,” you shook your head, sniffling a bit, “they’re happy tears, i’m so… god, i feel amazing right now,” you laughed, looking up at him with pure joy and eyes radiating. “i was so freaked out that you guys wouldn’t like me when we met tonight,” you wiped your eyes with the back of your wrist, “i’m just so grateful to know i’m worth it to all of you, including yuta, and to feel so… so loved by everyone.”

megumi pulled you in for a friendly hug, you returning it without hesitation.

“woah, making moves on yuta’s girl now?” yuji joked, he, toge and yuta now joining you and megumi’s side again.

megumi rolled his eyes, pulling away from you with a gentle smile. “ignore him,” he winked. yuta knew everything shared between the two of you in that moment was wholesome and pure, no ounce of jealousy rising into his chest. “don’t fuck this up, you two,” he pointed threateningly between you and yuta, but failed to keep his face straight, “i like you both too much, so i need you sticking together for life.”

something about the evening reminded you of kento, your coworker. he was always friendly and talkative with you, so perhaps, if this successful night of meeting yuta’s friends was proof of anything, it was that it was time to stop being afraid of befriending others. you felt a surge of confidence, deciding that on monday, you’d make the effort to actually get to know him. to become friends. with your old friendships faded, the moment had come to finally put yourself out there and forge new ones.

the taxi ride home was quiet– the soft kind that enveloped you in peace. yuta cupped your cheeks and kissed you deep and full of passion once you two were back inside of his apartment, both of you kicking off your shoes carelessly somewhere onto the kitchen floor as he stumbled to press your back against the fridge. he pulled away, touching your foreheads together.

“told you they’d like you,” he whispered, sticking his tongue out teasingly.

“yeah, whatever,” you scoffed, lips curled upwards.

he kissed you again, tongue slipping past your teeth as you melted into his sweet embrace. his hands moved to your waist, pulling you flush against him. you involuntarily let out a moan.

he cock twitched in his jeans. “you know,” he purred, breaking apart from you again, “this dress has been driving me fucking insane all night.” he gripped your ass, smirking wickedly.

then when he's finally inside of you, he's hitting you so fucking deep and perfect that you're floating in another dimension. you're clenching around him and he's letting out the raspiest, prettiest moans that only sends you closer to the edge.

"you're so warm, squeezing my cock like you own it."

"that's it, baby, keep getting wetter f'me."

and then his hands are on your throat, squeezing just enough but not too much, your eyes rolling back as he hits your sweet spot over and over with his intentional, deep thrusts.

"shit, do you hear yourself?"

"sucking me in like you fucking live off my cum."

"god, baby, you're gonna fucking milk me."

and when he finally releases, he's humming, smiling elated, gripping your jaw whilst he fills you up, pulsing in your hole and you're still completely lost in how good he feels, in your own orgasm- and then he kisses you all over your face whilst his hands drop to wrap around your neck, again, just right.

one night, the three of you are in your apartment, cuddled on the couch together and watching some stupid comedy film you chose at random. at some point, the scene changes into a threesome situation, and though its comical given the movie's theme, it had the three of you thinking...

and suddenly remembering your drunk confessions of wanting each other.

you're all staring at one another, not saying anything, just flickering your gaze over each others bodies. you suddenly recognize how sculpted both yuta and toge are. they can't decide whether they want to stare at you lips, chest, or thighs.

you fumble with the remote to turn off the tv as toge's lips close in on yours, tongue sliding heatedly into your mouth. he lets out a hum of satisfaction right before you feel yuta pulling at your waistband.

now, you're moaning uncontrollably, yuta's tongue slurping at your cunt so filthily, and toge's sucking and biting on your nipples desperately as his hands run all along your torso.

you don't even remember when you got there, but now you're in the bedroom, breaking the bed, toge fucking you into oblivion whilst yuta fucks your mouth with his cock. he's whimpering, one hand grabbing the sheets, the other grips your hair.

your eyes are watering, body feeling so overwhelmingingly full and overstimulated that you're about to lose it.

"fuck, i-"

"don't come."

toge's voice is sharp and demanding. your body freezes, your orgasm leaving you in an instant- but it still feels like you're about to break.

he looks at yuta, watching how you take his cock so well, smirking as he then stares you dead in the eyes and directs his commanding whispers towards yuta, "fill her mouth."

yuta growls, spilling his seed down your throat, your eyes rolling as you take all of him proudly.

toge's still moving in and out of you with no intention of stopping, hands gripping your waist as he slams into your warm walls.

yuta shudders, slowly pulling himself out of you with a wicked grin, leaning down to kiss you hard and wet on the mouth before sitting back on his knees to watch you and toge.

his arms are crossed, face smug, parting his lips to speak. you gaze at him, eyes glassy as your body shifts along the bed from toge's ardent thrusts. you notice the cursed speech marks appearing on yuta's cheeks.

oh, fuck.

he licks his lips, watching you intensely, "come," he says, low and raspy.

your throat breaks, but before you can push over the edge, toge speaks again.

"stop."

you cry, body begging for release, eyes rolling, shaking violently as if you actually had come when you hadn't yet.

"so, that's what we're doing?" yuta chuckles, smirking at toge.

toge smiles darkly, nodding in agreement.

"p-please," you whine, unsure if you can take anymore. you were so fucking close.

the two of them look at you, eyes lowered and plotting. "no," they say in unison.

so, as you can imagine, they continued their game of cat and mouse, telling you to come, then telling you to stop repeatedly until they felt like you'd suffered enough.

when they finally let you have it, your scream nearly shattered the bedroom window, throat croaking and body squirming so aggressively you almost fell onto the floor.

"come."

"again."

"come."

"again."

you have no idea how many orgasms you had, you lost track. all you knew is that you were utterly destroyed by the end of it.