bookishthings

hi guys, I just saw this ask and figured I would use it as an opportunity to just update what is going on. i know i do have quite a few other asks, i promise i will answer them and any others i get at some point (probably when i get back to writing) but i am extremely busy at the moment, but again, i promise i will answer all of them at some point.

i am honestly so so so busy with real life at the moment. i have a 2000 word portfolio due in tomorrow which i started yesterday, simply bc ive been too busy to do it before then. it is currently my reading week so i have all day to lock in at least lmao.

between these assignments, normal readings and lectures, not to mention work (which is a whole thing in itself) i literally barely have time to breathe. ive been going back and forth with my manager for a while lmao because i have asked him to stop giving me so many hours (im literally being given 25+ a week atm, which is ridiculous at the same time as being a full time student), but even though i asked him for absolute max 20, he just hasnt listened. i had another chat with him yesterday and he did apologise and explain they have like important people coming in to watch us or smth so he wanted the best people (he was definitely just buttering me up and it totally worked because i am too awkward to truly argue lmao. jokes on him im acc gunna start being terrible at my job if he doesnt give me less hours), but he promises less from now on. the main problem is he usually gives me saturday and sunday 5am-2pm, which i acc dont mind. however, this means absolutely no free time on weekends cause i wake at 3:45am, get back at half 2, shower and relax after a 9 hour shift for a bit, have dinner, do an hour of uni work, then i have to be in bed again at 7pm for waking up the same time for another 5-2 shift the next day. also, i work in fast food, so it is 9 hours on my feet, constantly running around and being very busy, baring in mind that i woke up at 3:45am, so i am exhausted by the time im home. which, again, idm cause i do enjoy the shift cause i like the people i work with, but it means no free time on weekend. but thats okay, because i have the week free. but i actually dont, because when he gives me sat-sun 5-2, he then also gives me an 8 hour shift in the middle of the week, so whichever day that is, i just go to lecture and then to work and then to bed. so i esentially only have four days (but actually two days, because half of those four days are spent on going to lectures and seminars and doing readings) to do everything else i need to like laundry, shopping, a bit of relaxing etc. so you see how i have literally no time.

sorry that was a bit of a rant i honestly think i just needed to get it out lmao cause work has seriously been stressing me out but my manager did seem very genuine in his apology so hoepfully less shifts from now on for real. however shifts are three weeks in advance so this wont actually start for almost a month, im still doing 25+ hours the next few weeks so thats great (not).

anyway, like i said, it is my reading week and i do have a big essay due in tomorrow. however, what i am hoping is that i finish it today and hand it in today, then i have tomorrow totally free (no work, no lectures, nothing). then i am working the entire day friday and saturday, but i do have sunday off. so im gunna try and use tomorrow and sunday to write some more. however i literally havent open the word doc for most recent chap in like a month so i do need to reread and look everything over cause i dont even remember what was going on where i left it last lmao. i cant guarantee anything, but that is what i am hoping, and thus maybe i post chap on sunday or monday??? after that, though, idk what im gunna do cause reading week is over and im back to lectures and lots of work. if my manager stays true to his word then i should have less work three weeks from now, but by that point the second wave of assignments will start being due in so idk :((. im thinking maybe the xmas holidays ill finally have time to finish the fic. im only going home for a week of the three weeks off bc im coming back for work, but it will still only be two or three shifts a week so hopefully all the other free time i can use to write.

i promise i am NOT abandoning the fic, i will update and finish it at some point, i am just so incredibly busy at the moment and everyhting stresses me out lmao. not to mention im a horrible procrastinator. i mean, i literally have written maybe 300/2000 words so far and rather than writing more im here answering this lmaooo. i am also still excited to write ariremi when tbbu is done so i definitely will find time eventually.

I’m definitely very excited for them! probably not as much as I was for garethkayden or vaughnyulian, but I don’t think I have as big of an attachement to prestonmarcus as them because we’ve only known them for one book whereas we have known the others for a lot, and their parents too. for me, I think they definitely have potential to overtake kaydengareth for me, but I agree they still won’t beat yulianvaughn. they definitely won’t beat nikobran tho, I truly don’t think anyone ever will beat them lol.

I think their story will be heartbreaking like nikobran tho, especially with what we already know about Preston’s childhood. I’m definitely hoping for Marcus to get very protective and murderous when he finds out lol. I’m hoping they will serve enemies to lovers in a way not many of rinas couples have so far, even tho she says they do. I know she says they are enemies to lovers, but I don’t rlly count it if it’s just that the guys treat the girls like shit, so the girl hates them but still wants to fuck them until they actually do in like the third chapter. I need Preston and Marcus to be actually enemies to lovers, bc they definitely have the right storyline for it.

I do hope that they find a way around being banished or disowned or whatever. I know kayden was but tbf I don’t think he minded so much, but I feel like Marcus will be similar to how I’ve written yulian in that he truly wants to be the ‘leader’, he thinks it is owed to him and he doesn’t want to give it up. I want them to still be able to be together without having to leave everything else they want behind just because they’re gay. I don’t like it when books are written that way because it’s 2025 and we should be writing and pushing for ideas about gay couples doing everything a straight couple can, not giving up their dreams for it.

they’re obviously the last book in the series so I’m hoping that the next one with violet and Jude also has a small focus on kinda taking down the current leadership and having the main characters taking over like they already did with the dad in the first book. that way it’s set up for the last book to be the final of taking down the leadership so that Preston and Marcus can be together and still lead if that makes sense. If it ends up with anything other than them together and still being the new leaders of vencour or whatever then I’ll be disappointed lol.

sorry :(((. I really don’t have much time at the moment. I’m doing like 25+ hours a week on work alone, let alone uni. just this weekend I did two nine hour shifts in a row (5am-2pm) and so by the time I’m home I’m totally exhausted and need to be in bed again at 8 to wake up at 3:30 the next day 😭😭.

I did speak with my manager tho and asked him to give me less hours and he only gave me one shift the next time he posted the schedule. (our schedule is released one week at a time, three weeeks in advance, so I have one shift in three weeks). But I’m still doing the same like 25 hours for the next two weeks so I sadly don’t have much time. unfortunately I am in fact very good at my job which is why I get so many hours lmao, but hopefully he will give me only one or two shifts from now on like I’ve asked. I’m honestly so excited to start ariremi too so I deffo want to get tbbu finished.

the next chap is maybe halfway done rn, it’s pretty long tho I think when I post it I’ll split it into two so you’ll get ‘two’ at once even tho they’re only one on my plan. but as for when I don’t rlly wanna say tbh cause I can’t promise I’ll stick to it. I’ll say hopefully it will be out within a week from now. my Wednesday lecture isn’t happening bc we have a small essay due, so I’m going to try and finish and hand in the essay tomorrow instead and then have Wednesday free to write. I doubt I’ll finish it on Wednesday tho, and Thursday I do have lectures. then I’m working fri sat sun I think 6am-2pm every day 😭😭😭😭 which means more being super tired when I get back and going to bed very early.

aw thats okay haha.

i honestly have never heard of 'peak' as american slang, and ig it means really good then, which is funny as for us in the uk its the opposite.

i didnt think anyone would send something so obviously mean tho so i assumed that peak must mean something else i dont know about so its okay lol. im pretty surprised ive never heard of peak in an american context bc i feel like american things are everywhere all the time. but now im thinking about it maybe several of the times ive seen people call something 'peak' online and thought they were calling it bad have actually been calling it good and i just havent realised it lmao.

I originally asked this question on ao3 when you said you were logging of tumblr for now but now that you’re back I thought itd be better to ask here

honestly this is such a random thought but i know how so many people wanted Vaughn to end up with Damian and Mio’s non existent daughter 💀, and it got me thinking about how yulian and Damian kinda remind me of each other. maybe if they ever interact in HTV they could be each others father/son figures and now even the readers that already hate HTV could be happy 🤭 I’m mainly joking but it’d defs be fun to see, I’d like to know your thoughts !! I haven’t read the other books in so long that ive probably forgotten how their characters are really like 🫩

super sorry, i know im so bad at replying to comments on ao3 lol. ill definitely go through and answer all of them when i actually finish the fic.

i acc kind of understood wanting vaughn and damian/mio hypothetical daughter to be together, but only before we knew anything about vaughn and yulian. like back when the log series was still being released and rina said there would absoltuely be no vaughn book and all we knew was he had a gf, i think it was reasonable to assume/make up ideas about who he could be with and i understand why damien/mio daughter would be one of the main choices. however, what i dont get, is why so many people are now heartbroken that he is with yulian instead. we never even had confirmation that damien and mio had children, let alone a daughter that vaughn potentially could have dated. like, it was a fun idea when we didnt think we would ever have his book, but now we do, and he is ending up with yulian, not a hypothetical character that we dont even know exists. like would you really have rather vaughn never get a book at all and keep on making up your own ideas about non-existant characters for him to be with, or actually get his own book with his own love story with yulian and get to see who he is?? cause that was the only way we were ever getting his book. yulian is the only reason we get to know him, according to rina herself.

anyway, on to your actual question, i defintiely agree that yulian and damien are very similar haha. however, i will say, i have not read the throne duology and i dunno if i ever will bc ive heard pretty terrible things, so i dont know damiens character all that well, since i think the throne duology is where he is seen most. but, i have seen several edits on tiktok of him, plus people always comparing him and niko, and the scenes we do get to see of him in the deception and monster trilogies, so i kinda know his character.

id honestly love for vaughn/yulian to interact with all the mafia people cause im curious with how they view each other. i feel like i could definitely see damien starting as the protective uncle but upon realising how similar he and yulian are, actually warming up to him and being one of the people who push kirill to accept yulian (if he doesnt at first). OR i could see him being protective and not liking yulian, and then vaughn points out how similar they are and damien gets annoyed over it lol.

maybe after years they could form a father/son bond (especially if damien doesnt have any sons. i dont think he does cause i feel it would hvae been mentioned if he did. I think if he had no son, then having a man just like him would help them bond like that). but i dont see it happening other than being hinted at in htv, just because rina has never really focused on parents all that much. like, they always appear and we know their thoughts, but the most we ever see of them is how long it takes for them to warm up to their childs significant other, then thats it. not to mention that aunts and uncles appear even less, with the only exception being landon bc its specified that he is very close to aiden, but ig we dont know how close vaughns relationship with everyone else is. personally i really hope that maksim and anton make an appearance cause i loved them so much.

I’m going to sound so boring lol but I honestly don’t watch much tv anymore😭😭. I prefer to read books haha.

butttt when I was younger before I got back into reading I did used to watch a lot of tv. I had a really strong mcu faze and though I don’t rlly keep up with it any more, I still love it and have probably watched every film up to endgame at least three times with my favourites like ten times. my favs are the whole spiderman trilogy, Thor ragnarok, infinity war, gotg and (if it counts) deadpool movies. I also love the Harry Potter movies. But my fav movie of all time is kingsman: the secret service.

as for tv shows, my favourite show of all time is friends which I know is rlly basic but yeah it’s like a comfort show I usually go back to it when I’m not feeling great. like a few years ago I had very minor surgery but couldn’t rlly walk for a few days, so I literally stayed in bed and watched friends for a week straight. when I was much younger like 10-13 I had an obsession with the arrowverse lol. i also really enjoyed the vampire diaries, the walking dead, Brooklyn 99, 9-1-1, house of the dragon, supernatural, shameless, criminal minds.

there are probably others I’m forgetting but yeah. all of these I watched years ago tho, and any that are still ongoing im not still watching and I probably haven’t watched anything that came out within the last two to three years for them.

to be honest, i dont really have favourite aritists lol, at least none that i stan. ive always really liked ariana grande bc a close friend growing up was unfortunately at manchester 2017, and so she was a huge fan and i made an effort to get to know about ariana for her, plus i really enjoy her music.

i wouldnt call myself a swiftie bc i literally dont know anything about taylor swift as a person, but i do enjoy quite a lot of her songs, but i think its mostly just the mainstream/tiktok popular ones.

when i was young, as most girls my age, i was obsessed with one direction. i also had a several year long 5sos obsession and have been to multiple of their concerts, but ive mostly grown out of it now.

i actually havent read aftg but i have heard of it and that its really good, and i will deffo read it at some point.

as for the marauders omfg yes i loveeeee them. i read atyd like three years ago in like 4 days and it literally changed my life. i love wolfstar so much theyre one of my fav ships of all time. i havent read any of the other super popular marauders fics, and i doubt i will for a very long time bc i dont have enough time. also, i know this might upset some people but unfortunately i dont love jegulus, im a jily stan. idm jegulus cause i get the appeal but i just prefer jily. tbf though, i genuinely think id change my mind if i read choices or crimson rivers or art heist baby, but since i havent i just dont rlly care for them and love jily cause of atyd.

yesyesyes.

honestly if you go back and reread the fic, i think i dropped so many hints lol. almost every time mikhail appears there is some sort of hint (some more obvious than others) that he is a traitor. mikhail DID see vaughn in that scene, and he did bring up the camilla thing on purpose to break vaughn and yulian up.

im happy you caught that haha, i did think i made it almost too obvious in that scene, but i hadnt had anyone questioning him until then so i wondered if my hints were TOO subtle, or maybe it was better that way cause of shock factor.

although, there is one person who sent me a long ask where they basically lined out almost all the hints i dropped throughout, shortly after i uploaded the vaughn finds out about camilla scene, where they bascially were like i feel like this is all pointint to mikhail being a traitor, is it true? and i couldnt respond because obvs either id have to just lie bc it would be a spoiler, but it would still plant the idea in everyone who read its head, or i just ignore it altogether, which is what i did.

aw tysm it means a lot <3. honestly i was dealing with a lot irl too, completely unrelated to any of this, but i think the comment just kinda pushed me over the edge. it otherwise wouldnt have affected me so much.

but, the person has reached out and apologised. if they are reading this, please know i have read all the asks you sent, im choosing not to answer them because i already replied to your comment on ao3, but i have read and very much appreciate them. please read my reply on ao3 and dont be hard on yourself :)

um i think thank you lol.

im pretty confident this must be a compliment, but in british slang 'peak' means bad haha, so this is kinda funny if it is meant in a nice way. id assume that in other places peak would mean top so like top-tier writing?

tysm and im so happy you liked them. ill try really hard to get the next out asap :).

haha im happy you finally got your chapters. also we should still sue amazon because they still never gave it to me.

im so sorry about your schedule omggg. im acc very thankful that mine is literally amazing. i only have 6 scheduled per week and three are online. though, the shitty wifi is still an issue lmao. but i do love having them online because i roll out of bed 5 mins before my lecture haha.

okay so i know this was asked before i uploaded the chapters, but i still wanna ramble about what actually happened with the internet lol.

basically, the router from amazon i talked about never came, it just got marked as lost eventually and i got a refund lol. so i ended up paying DOUBLE the price for a different one from argos that i could pick up the next day, which i did. i then got it, set it up, plugged it into the ethernet port in the wall, only to discover that the actual ethernet port in the wall doesnt work and so the router still cant connect to internet. and so i still had no internet. this was honestly at the worst of my stress (im not kidding. my hair was falling out and i was breaking out and i NEVER break out due to stress lmao) bc i knew i had said i would get the router in like a day or two and then i would have wifi and i would upload, but then it didnt happen and i didnt even know how long it would be still and i felt so bad after saying i would upload soon and i ended up not being able to.

at this point i emailed my accomodatioon manager and explained i had no wifi and my ethernet port didnt work. he said he would reset the wifi for the whole site rather than just my building because it didnt work the first time lol and have someone come fix the port. however he literally said my building is so old it just might not work at all ever. so anyway he reset and i was finally able to connect to the wifi, though it was still slow asf and constantly drops out, but at least i had it. this is when i uploaded the five chaps at once. the guy came to fix the port, only to tell me he was told it was an electrical socket broken not ethernet, and so he left and said he would come back again tomorrow. this was almost two weeks ago, he hasnt come back and the ethernet port is still broken and the wifi cuts out and is slow all the time. i honestly dont even think the port works at all, and i have horrific anxiety and the idea of emailing again makes me feel like im being annoying lmao. i emailed last week also because my curtain broke, so it would have been the third coomplain emiail in less than two weeks and i felt bad.

haha i did answer this in the first chapter actually lol, but only very briefly.

vaughn says after he first wakes up in the basement that he had been on the way to school, escorted by guards when they were attacked and he was taken.

tw // eating disorder, ed

to be totally honest, it was not something i had ever thought about/considered, but now you have mentioned it, i definitely love the idea and absolutely agree it is something vaughn could have had to work through.

ive always tried very hard in my fic to focus on the fact that trauma does not magically go away because you are better than the average person at dealing with it because you are a psychopath, or because you fall in love and your man kills your trauma causer and so now you are better. this is something ive always disliked about rinas books and wanted to do differently in my own fic.

this is why i focused on vaughn developing IED, showing how much he struggles with the basement even now, having him still grieve camilla despite what she did, because her bad decision doesnt take away what she meant to him for many years. also why yulian struggles to say no to his dad and go against him, because at the end of the day his dad is his abuser and no matter how big and strong we grow up to be, it just negate the trauma we have been through, and so yulian isnt magically over it all because he is an adult. this is just naming a few, but yeah i really liked focusing on how their childhood traumas still affect them years later and never just goes away just because they fell in love.

so you brining up the idea that food is something vaughn might have struggled with, because he did face starvation when he was down there is very true. the way i would imagine vaughn would face it, rather than eating too much or too little, would be that he actually hoards food. as in, because he is used to not being given any, or having it taken away, or being forced to eat it quickly, he hoards food by perhaps keeping it in his room, hidden somewhere so he knows he has access to it in the night or can reassure himself he always has access to food when he wants it.

i definitely think that this is something sasha and kirill would have noticed though, and gotten him help for. it is probably one of the things he would find 'easier' to recover from compared to other things he had to face moving on from the basement, but i imagine it would have still taken many years to fully move on from, and even now he may still have times of needing to keep food somewhere 'safe'.

it wont be something ill incorporate into my fic, both because im so close to the end now and there is no time/room, and because i dont like to write about any sort of traumas/disorders etc without proper research (i did a lot into IED before i wrote about it in my fic, for example) and i just dont have the time to do the correct level of research into a disorder like that right now lol.