luclue

Two sets of feet kicked up the dirt as they sprinted down the path in Foosha village, their laughter and petulant complaints following behind them — but it was all in good fun.

"L-Luffy!" You cried out from behind him, struggling to keep up with his fast pace and eager strides. Luffy only giggled, abruptly turning around to grab your wrist and drag you alongside him. You have been friends with him for a couple years now, before he ever met Shanks. You were the only friend he had currently that was his age, and he was the same for you.

The people in the village gave the two seven year olds a wide berth, as Luffy's excitement never knew the difference between friend or foe.

"No way!" He shouts, brimming with excitement, "Shanks is here! Gotta see him!"

You yelped as he tugged you along to the Partys Bar, bursting through the doors. He didn't let go of you yet, both of your chests heaving — though for different reasons; He was excited, and you were out of breath.

The Red Hair Pirates paused at the loud entrance, their chatter stopping briefly as they looked over. It was silent for a few good seconds before they exploded in noise — laughing and greeting the two of you.

Shanks leaned against the counter with his head lazily in his hand, straw hat atop his head, as he regarded you two fondly. "Ah. Was wondering when the brat would show up," He snickered teasingly, referring to Luffy. His eyes trailed over to you, his eyes softer but no less fond, "Good to see you too."

You waved while Luffy grinned widely, tugging you forward closer to Shanks with his steps becoming more bouncy and excited the closer he got. "Shanks! Shanks!" He cheered, finally letting go of you to hop up on the stool beside him, his eyes gleaming with joy, "Let me join your crew! Come on, come on! I'm strong!"

"Oh-ho? Are you now?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Mmmm…" Shanks paused, twirling the drink in his hand a few times before smirking at the eager kid. Makino giggled into her hand from behind the counter.

"I don't need another anchor on my ship. Maybe when you are older."

"Why did you have to get older?" You grumbled at the dock on Foosha Village, staring at Luffy as he set up an old fishing boat for his departure. Now seventeen, it felt like time went too quickly.

It was quiet, the village giving you two a wide berth… But this time it wasn't because you were excited kids running down the street.

Luffy paused from his clueless fumbling around, looking up at you. His face was protected partially from the sun by the brim of Shanks's straw hat. Even with the shade, even beyond his excitement — you could tell he was sad too.

He hops out of the boat and back onto the dock, moving to stand in front of you. He looked down at you, though you refused to look up at him. He frowned, his hands resting on your arms — gently rubbing up and down them.

The action made your eyes sting.

"You can always come with, y'know," He tells you softly, a voice he had only ever reserved for you — trying to coax you to look up without forcing you to. You shook your head, your hand coming up to wipe at your eyes with the heel of your palm.

Your relationship with him was only two years old, starting a year after Ace had left for sea when the two of you were fifteen. You love him more than you had anyone else, but you hated that you were too scared to become a pirate with him; You tried and tried to get yourself ready because you had wanted to go with him, you really did, but when his seventeenth birthday came and the reality finally crashed over you — you panicked. You couldn't do it, and you didn't want to try to convince him not to chase his dream.

You didn't have a single regret with your relationship.

It was a week after his birthday, because he wanted to spend as much time with you as possible before he left. He didn't show it as much as you did, but he was also struggling; You are his first love, he can't imagine himself with anyone else that isn't you — but he also couldn't imagine himself not being a pirate. He had already said his farewells to everyone. You were last.

For a moment, he couldn't do it.

"Please," He cracks, his breath hitching as his hands stopped touching you, only for his arms to wrap tightly around your waist as he pulls you into his chest — hugging you as tightly as he could without hurting you, "Please just— come with me. Please."

He wasn't the type of person to beg. If he wanted something, he would take it and no one could tell him no — but he couldn't do that with you; Even if it hurt him to come to terms with that.

He wants the freedom the sea provides, but he also wanted you.

Your tears had finally spilled over as you tremble in his hold. Your arms shakily wrap around his body and tightly grip the red vest on his back — your face burying into his shoulder. Luffy whimpered at that, leaning down to hide his face into your shoulder as well — his hat getting knocked off of his head and resting on his back from the string.

"I-I can't, Luffy. I'm sorry, I can't."

"Please, please… I-I can keep you safe! I—"

"Luffy.."

"I trained, swear! I-I won't let ya get hurt, not a little bit, I—"

"Luffy—"

"PLEASE!" He sobbed, his voice cracking with his emotions — everything he was holding back finally spilling over, "PLEASE! I can't! I can't do it either! I-I can't! Not without you!"

His grip tightened as he sobbed into your shoulder, only small broken noises leaving your throat. You didn't know what to say because how can you tell him it would be alright when you couldn't believe it yourself.

"I don't want to!" Luffy continued, desperation and fear lacing every word, "It isn't right! I don't want to be pirate king without you with me!"

As much as it hurt you, maybe you could use that. You love him, but he shouldn't have to give up his dream because you are too much of a coward. You pulled back, making him whimper and desperately try to pull you closer again — because separating meant he had to face losing you.

You still managed to pull back, reaching up to cup his face in your hands. He sniffled, his eyes red and leaking tears as he looked down at you — his lip wobbling as he held back his cries.

"Then come back, Luffy," You finally were able to say without your voice betraying you, "Become pirate king and come back to me."

He make a small, broken sound at that as he leaned into your touch. He only listened for now, his body tense as he weighs the suggestion. You continued, your hands moving up to card through his messy black hair, "Don't give up on your dream for me. I don't want you to be miserable."

He looked away for a moment, "So… So are we—"

You didn't say anything, letting him make the decision on his own — because maybe it would hurt less if he understood it first.

"Are we.." He choked back another sob, "Are we breaking up..?"

Your hesitation ate away at him, but you nod, "I'm sorry," You started, but the pure devastation from him cut you off as another wounded noise left his throat in a whimper. You quickly continued in an attempt to soothe him, "Only until you come back to me, if you still want to be with me then. If you or I haven't moved on."

He swallowed thickly, nodding. "Okay. Okay… I'll become pirate king, and'll come back. I promise."

He kissed you then, tugging you close. It was a bittersweet kiss, full of all the love he could give because he didn't know when he would ever do this again. He spoke while pressed against you, all devotion and promise, "I love you. And I will love you then, too."

You didn't know what to respond with, too stunned by the declaration as it was the first time either of you had spoken those words even if it had been two years. You, unwisely, did not respond. He got back on his boat after a few more moments with you, and that was the last you saw of him.

Maybe you did have one regret.

It had been two years since then. You had two years of loving him, and now you had two years of missing him. You'd often sit at the dock, thinking of how your relationship ended with Luffy as you stared out at the water. You wished you could go back, you wished you could at least have told him you loved him back.

You wondered if he knew you did.

It hurt. It really did. The only times you saw his face were in the newspaper, whenever he got a new bounty and Makino celebrated it in her bar. You'd occasionally visit Dadan, too, as she had always welcomed you in her own gruff way. You saw his bounty grow, you saw him grow with it, you saw his crew expand through the bounties they also obtained — and it hurt. Was there a world where you had gone with him, where you also had a bounty and a place on his crew? Not just a spectator hoping that he would remember his promise?

You had also seen the downs of it, and you kicked yourself for not being there with him. You saw the reports of his crew going missing along with him, you saw the reports about Marineford, you saw the reports of Ace dying. You were inconsolable for a week when that news broke, as you were also close to Ace (and Sabo, but he had died way earlier) before he left for sea. Then there was radio silence. No new news about the Straw Hats beyond one photo of Luffy back at Marineford. Not for two years.

You stressed in that time, unconvinced that Luffy was dead but also having no real proof he was alive. Once again, you made a decision you regretted.

Only a year ago did you find a new partner. You wanted to move on, you wanted to get over Luffy and actually start your life. You felt bad — not only because of the promise of Luffy returning in the future, but because you felt like you were playing this new boyfriend. You weren't, but sometimes it felt like you were.

You did like him, he wasn't a bad guy — but he wasn't Luffy. It wasn't fair to compare the two, but you felt horrible whenever you looked at him and imagined it were Luffy in his place.

You wondered if Luffy was still thinking of you, too.

Little did you know, he was. He talked about you, reminisced about you, gushed over you so much that his crew likely knew every fact about you before they ever met you. At first, they were shocked to learn that Luffy had romantic interest beyond meat, and Sanji was pissed Luffy dated someone before he ever did — but they saw how much he still seemed to love you. How he always talked about the day he sees you again.

"Still sitting here?" A voice called from behind you, and you didn't have to turn to know who it was. A blanket settled on your shoulders, and the person sat beside you. You were looking down at a newspaper that a News Coo had just dropped off, staring at the newest bounty posters of the Straw Hats — and the newest title of the boy you loved.

One point five billion beli. Fifth Emperor of the Sea.

You finally looked over at the person, your boyfriend. Your eyes were apologetic, your heart dropping when his eyes moved down to the newspaper you were holding — to the specific person you were looking at. He sighed, though he wasn't mad at you. He knew of your previous relationship, he knew you were still trying to cope. He knew you liked him, but he also knew that it sometimes wasn't enough.

"You still want him, don't you?" He asked calmly, his voice measured as he looked back up at you.

"I'm sorry—"

He shook his head with a small smile. A way to reassure you despite his own hurt, "I get it," He said, his leg bouncing, "I don't want to keep you from him, if that is what you want."

Your breath hitched. He was so… kind about it. It made you feel like such a dick. But he wasn't wrong. Your relationship with him was good, it was, but was it going to stay that way if you kept reaching for something you didn't have? Would you end the relationship if Luffy came back all those years later, still wanting you? That would be worse, you supposed.

What is worse is that you want to go to sea, you want to find him. You were ready now. You weren't weak, you have been training because it helped ease your mind. So would he take you in again?

"I'm sorry, I really am," You told him, your mouth wobbling, "I just— I don't think it's going to work out."

He listened, and he nodded. He was upset, more than you were, but he understood. Keeping you in a relationship you were falling out of would only hurt you and him worse. "Alright," He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, "Sucks, but it's alright."

You gave him one last kiss before he walked off. That, too, reminded you of Luffy.

You couldn't believe your luck. When you set out to sea yourself, you ran into the Red Hair Pirates of all people. The Red Force was all too familiar to you, and when you called out to him you could see Shanks nearly trip before rushing to the railing.

He was stunned to see you, clearly remembering you even if it was a child version of you. He quickly barked out to get a ladder down to pull you up and off the dingy little boat you had.

When you boarded, he quickly pulled you into a hug with his arm. He looked different now — it had been twelve years since you last saw him after all. He was more mature looking now, more rugged, but still had the same fondness in his eyes with he looked at you.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" He shouted, though it was laced with worry and panick. He always had such a big heart, "Goin' towards the Grand Line in that shitty thing?!"

You laughed softly, hugging him back, "Sorry, Shanks. I just couldn't wait longer."

Shanks pulled back, releasing you from his grip. His hand reached up, scratching at his chin. "Aw, ya could've sent a note. I would'a picked ya up, kid," He grinned, but the look you gave him showed you did not believe him. Not because you didn't trust him, or held any sort of grudge against him, but because it would mean he would of had to go back to Foosha Village, which he said he wasn't going to do when he left for the first time.

"Rude," He scoffed in jest, sitting down on a stool at one of the tables on the main deck where likely was seated previously before your arrival, judging by the half full mug on the surface. You followed, sitting across from him like it were an interview, "So, what brings you out to sea suddenly?"

Damn. Really is like an interview, you had thought to yourself, smirking before you realized you did, in fact, have to answer him. "Wanted to see Luffy again," You answered honestly, hope in your eyes.

Shanks blinked, tilting his head slightly. "Is it that important? M'sure ya could've waited for his return, no? Better than riskin' your life," He hummed, his brows furrowing.

He… wasn't wrong. You could have waited. You just didn't want to anymore. "Yeah. But it just didn't feel right without him, you know? I love him."

Shanks froze, the mug that he had lifted halfway to his mouth stopped with him before lowering back down, "Love..?"

"Yeah."

"Does he know you do?"

"I was hoping he did, since I forgot to tell him two years ago."

"…Huh?"

It clicked for you that Shanks didn't know anything. Last he saw you, you and Luffy were dumb seven year olds with big dreams and bigger mouths. You smiled teasingly, knowing that the information was going to be a huge shock to him.

"Oooooh right," You sang, leaning on your arms on the table. Shanks squints suspiciously, and you continued with a playful lilt to your tone, "Luffy and I dated for two years, Captain Shanks."

Shanks said nothing, just staring at you like you had grown a second head, "…You serious?"

"Mhm."

"Dated? Dated Luffy? You?"

"What's that suppose to mean?"

Shanks stammered, realizing how that sounded, "You're great! It isn't that! It's just… It's Luffy."

"I'd be worried if it wasn't."

"The same Luffy that got mad at me for not immediately attacking mouthy bandits? The same one who then, in his anger, ate a devil fruit that I stole? That one? Same rubber idiot?"

"Yes."

Shanks stared down at his mug warily, eyeing the liquid like someone on his crew put hallucinogenics in his alcohol for some weird prank. You laughed, the teasing dying down enough for Shanks to look back up at you.

"I… I miss him, you know?" You mutter, choking up a bit at the thought of everything you gave up because you couldn't get over a fear, "I was scared then, but I'm more scared now. What if I left the village for nothing, Shanks? What if he doesn't even remember me? What if he doesn't love me anymore?"

Shanks frowned, "Hey—"

"I-I couldn't even tell him I loved him then! What if he is pissed at that!? He bared his heart to me and I just—" You paused briefly, a frustrated sound leaving your throat as tears roll down your face, "I just stared at him like a damn idiot!"

"Hold on—"

"He begged, Shanks! He— He was so afraid! He sobbed, and I just told him to meet me again when he is King of the Pirates and maybe we can get back together? What the fuck is wrong with me!? That could be in twenty odd years for all I know!"

"Shut up!" Shanks yelled, the suddenness of it causing you to stop in fear that you were annoying him, "Sorry. Didn't mean it like that. Just— Just listen."

You swallowed thickly, wiping the tears away as you nod slowly. Shanks continued, his arm reaching across the table to take your hand in his, "You know Luffy probably better than anyone. He doesn't forget people he cares about. Especially not one he grew to love."

You whimpered, looking down at his hand in yours. "I made him promise to come back when he became King of the Pirates," You repeated miserably, "Then, after making him promise, I went and got another boyfriend because I was too insecure to think he would still love me when that happens."

Shanks winced, but shook his head, "Y'still with that guy?" He asked curiously. You shook your head, and Shanks squinted in confusion, "Then why does it matter?"

You couldn't answer.

Days had passed since that conversation. You had just sat down in the same spot where it had happened with a newspaper in your hand. New bounty posters for the Straw Hats came out, along with a new title with the defeat of Kaido and Big mom.

Monkey D. Luffy. Three billion beli bounty. New Emperor of the Sea. The image on the poster no longer looked like him, yet at the same time… it never looked more like him. You didn't know what was going on, but you knew Luffy wasn't the same silly boy you once knew. He was becoming everything he said he would.

"We're a couple hours out from Wano," Beckman informed you from somewhere behind you, "Captain doesn't wanna meet Luffy yet, so we'll drop you off."

You nodded, looking away from the paper and back at Beckman, "Thank you, really. For everything."

Beckman didn't respond, but you still saw the smirk before he walked away.

True to his word, when you arrived at the shoreline of the Flower Capital later that night they just dropped you off there. Shanks was kind enough to give you directions, and also a yukata to wear so you didn't seem out of place, but also said it would be obvious where to go. Whatever that meant.

They sailed off after saying their goodbyes, and you started walking. Turns out, Shanks was right. You yelped as fireworks went off, not really expecting the loud sound to suddenly happen. You inhaled, calming your racing heart as you continued — this time towards the noise.

It was… chaotic when you got there. It was a scene that would really explain the fireworks. A massive celebration for the defeat of Kaido and the freedom of Wano. If Luffy were anywhere, it was definitely here.

You wandered around a bit, slightly uncomfortable with being lost in a land you didn't really know. You just hoped that Luffy was, in fact, still here as your only way back had already left.

Your wandering had paid off and you breathed out a sigh of relief. While it wasn't Luffy, you did manage to find some of his crewmates. Robin, Nami, and Usopp, if you remembered them correctly from their wanted posters.

You inhaled, shaking off some nerves before approaching them. "Are you— uh— Are you the straw hats..?" You asked, still nervous. So much for the prep. The nerves worsened tenfold when they actually looked over, whatever conversation they were having halted.

The two women didn't even get a chance to nod before the long-nosed man stepped up, his chest puffed out in mock bravado. "Why, yes! It is I, the great Captain Usopp! I'm sure you heard all about me, like how I commanded eight thousand men into battle, which is why you came up. I will gladly give my autograph to an adoring fan."

You blinked, flinching when the orange haired woman punched him in the back of the head, leaving him groaning. "Ignore that fool. Is there something you want?" She asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

You took a moment to process what happened. Was that normal? And why did he call himself captain? Did… he actually command eight thousand men?

You quickly shook your head, having more important matters to discuss before any of that. "Yes! I was— Uhm— Looking for Luffy," You explained, wringing your hands together.

You tensed when the trio became suspicious, realizing that maybe asking for their captain when they don't even know you is likely a bad idea. The tall black-haired woman spoke next, "Why are you looking for our captain?" She asked, her tone smooth and cold — laced with a scathing suspicion.

You sweat, not really knowing what you could say that would ease the situation. You just had to bank on the fact that Luffy happened to talk about you once. Maybe when mentioning his childhood in passing? So you try.

You told them your name, taking a cautious step back just in case, "… I'm his childhood— ah— friend."

It was silent for a good minute as they stared at you with wide eyes. Slowly, Nami turned to face Robin, "Robin. It's her."

"It seems it is."

"NO WAY!" Usopp shouted in shock, the sound startling a few patrons that were near him. The celebration also went silent for a moment before continuing back up. You winced at the volume, but your heart thuds loudly at what came next.

"Usopp? Why're you shoutin'?" An all too familiar voice spoke from the crowd as he weaved through, pushing through a clump of people with a skewer in hand to investigate why his friend had shouted without him.

Usopp, still stunned, said nothing as he shakily pointed at you. Luffy's gaze followed his finger, and stopped on you. The gears in his head visibly turn as he thinks. It wasn't because he forgot you, not at all, but… you've grown in two years — and you were wearing something he never saw you in before.

It clicks, his eyes slowly widening as he finally recognized who he was looking at. Slowly, cautiously, he says your name to confirm it was really you and not just someone who happened to look like you.

Butterflies filled your belly hearing your name on his lips again. You nod, smiling brightly, "It's me, Lu."

His breathing stuttered for a moment, just staring at you and taking it in before his jaw dropped— literally— to the ground. "EEEEEEHHHH?!!?!?"

You didn't get another chance to respond before he launched himself at you, all rubber and love he never forgot, and pulling you into a hug; His arms wrapping around you tightly like hungry snakes as he lifts you off the ground, spinning and giggling happily.

You hadn't even noticed his crew left the two of you alone.

"It's you! It's you!" He chanted, spinning a few more times before setting you down. His hands rest on your shoulders, looking you up and down — not in a lecherous way, but a subconscious way that he always did with you to make sure you were not hurt, "But— But why's it you? Glad it is, but m'not Pirate King yet."

"I couldn't wait, Luffy," You tell him, your eyes shining with joy and years of hope, "I realized after you left how— how stupid I was. I couldn't stay away any longer."

He just listened, frowning when you insulted yourself but still letting you speak.

You inhale, two years of preparation leading to this moment, "I love you, Luffy. And— And I'm sorry I didn't tell you then, and I understand if you don't feel the same anymore—"

You were cut off by a joyous little noise from Luffy before you were tugged into a kiss from him. Years of wanting and craving poured into it as his lips lock with yours. You sighed into it, so, so glad that things felt normal again. Your eyes close, your head tilting for a better angle.

It felt like you were back in Foosha with him for a moment.

When he finally pulled back, he didn't go far. His hands cradle your jawline, his forehead resting against yours. "Stay. Please. Stay this time," He begged quietly, the words only meant for you.

This time, you were ready.

"I'm not leaving again, Luffy."

The same noise left his throat, and you only got a moment to prepare before his hands on your jaw tightened and your face was getting attacked by wet, quick kisses from him all over.

"Lu— Luffy! Stop it!" You laughed, gently trying to swat at him and push him back.

He did stop, his hands leaving your face and grabbing your hand instead. "You're a Straw Hat now! My girlfriend, that's your role!" He giggled, but he rethought it after you gave him an unimpressed look, "Ah— Temporary role! Swear! Need'ta find ya one."

You rolled your eyes playfully, but you were glad to be called his girlfriend once more.

He tugged you along, rushing through the crowd, "Gotta introduce ya to the crew!" He grinned, walking ahead of you while pulling you. You stared at him, eyes shining as you were reminded of Foosha once more, all the way when you were seven — rushing to pull you along so you can meet someone he adores. It was the same, but this time… it was to meet the family he found.

"Didn't know ya had a good boat," He said suddenly while pulling you, slowing down a bit to walk right beside you, hand-in-hand.

"Huh? I don't."

"How'd ya get here then? No way ya swam through the Grand Line and into the New World."

You blinked before grinning widely. He looked at you curiously.

"Oh, right. Shanks took me."

the rumbling of the moving truck that brought you here is loud.

your aunt drops another box by the doorway. this one marked “MY THINGS!!”. with a heavy sigh, she leans back to stretch her lower back, speaking to you without looking at you.

“ey, c’mon. help me with some of these boxes.” she groans.

your eyes stay fixed on your jelly sandals. you spot two ants walking in a single file line right next to your foot and scuff it to scare them as they scamper a little further away from you. you grip your knees tighter without a word, digging your chin into your skin harshly, making your bottom lip jut out. your aunt groans at your lack of response but doesn’t push and returns to the moving truck with a click of her tongue.

over all the noises of rumbling and occasional buzzing of insects you hear her exchange a casual lighthearted conversation with the driver. his engine—his loud engine—is still running. the roar and rumble of it permeates through the ground and you can feel it running through your bones loudly as he leans against his open door trying to look smooth. you don’t keep your eyes on them for long, looking back at your feet to avoid the glare of the sun ignoring the harsh beat of it on your nape. you’re hot and sweaty and prickly, despite wearing your favourite short overalls.

loud shrieks catch your attention and you look across the road to see a group of kids playing on the basketball court. you recall your aunt loudly pointing it out on the drive here. tapping her nail against the window.

“woow, look—there’s a basketball field here! you can play with the others kids there, too.” she hinted crudely, hoping you’d be more agreeable. you lazily looked in its direction, lip curling up in annoyance seeing kids your age having fun and cartwheeling. kicking balls and shoes and anything else they could find into basketball nets, all nicely contained around those big iron bars. 

all you could think about was how much of a nuisance it was gonna be to live across that, it’d be so loud when you wanted to sleep in.

this brings you back to now, desperately trying to tune out the noises; the rumbling, the talking, the laughing and screeching—

a stray ball whacks against the bars of the steel fence of the court, and the sound doesn’t startle you as hard as it does your aunt. she lets out an unnecessarily loud yelp that causes her and the driver to share a laugh. you scowl, pulling your knees up further to your chest and groan. 

this was your new home. your new life. your new noise. you’d have to get used to it all. except maybe the delivery driver. unless your aunt decided to date him or something…

“HEEEYY!”

the loud noise from above you manages to make you let out a yelp. your head whips around, looking for the unknown threat. you realise the voice is coming from above quickly and look up to see a black head of hair peeking at you from their balcony. although peeking was an understatement. the figure—who you could now faintly tell was a boy around your age—was standing just shadowed by sunlight. his head and upper body balancing on the railing of his balcony, his feet dangled limp in the air, one of his feet bare and the sandal abandoned on the floor.

“hey,” he calls again, pushing up dangerously close to the railing thinking maybe you hadn’t heard him. he’d managed to catch your aunt's attention as well, “be careful up there! that’s dangerous!” she cried but the boy payed her no mind, his bright smile solely on you.

“heeeey, hey—is all that stuff yours?!” he screamed. he points towards the box of your items next to you but quickly stumbles. he plops back down on his heels safely, but not without scaring the pants off you, your aunt and the delivery driver. he decides to crouch down instead, barely squeezing his big face and toothy smile through the bars. 

everything about him is so loud. his legs hang through the gaps of the balcony and make the old bars rattle when he swings them. his voice is loud, his entire presence is.

you’d have to get used to the noise. but not right now, you decide. 

you scowl up at him like he was at fault for the sun’s glare (and with the brightness in his smile he might as well have been) shoving your face back in between your knees. your aunt groans your name incredulously, before apologising to the loud boy for you. your nails dig into your skin in an effort to hold your tongue. she confirms that yes, these were all your things and the boy sounds happy about the prospects of new neighbours. but your aunt’s words do little to satisfy him. he calls for you again. you try your best to ignore his incessant ramblings. he loudly introduces himself to you as Luffy—hm. weird name—and patiently waits after he asks you yours. either he doesn’t get the hint or he’s just stupidly stubborn. either way, you want no part of this. of the sun, of the noises, of him.

“hey, can’t you hear me?! oh, wait! i’ll come down there!”

your head pops up in surprise. he was going to come down? 

and surely enough, you hear the rattle of the iron floor when he shoots up with a start. and after a brief moment of silence he’s face to face—or well, feet to feet—with you. 

“hi! i’m Luffy! what’s your name?”

(either he was plain stupid or just annoyingly stubborn. either way, he’s brighter up close and personal.)

when you look up at him you’re met with a clearer view of his previously light obstructed face. black hair sticking up wildly like he’d just climbed out of bed. a blue tank top and shorts, sandals on his feet and a big straw hat on his head. way too big for him. 

lucky him, you think. he didn’t have to worry about the heat with that huge thing on.

he balances on his feet while he waits for your response. antsy, you frown. 

when you do tell him your name your eyebrow raises when he tests it a few times like he wants to know what it sounds like in his mouth before he nods to himself satisfied. his eyes drift towards your box of items sitting next to you on the curb.

“s’this all yours?” he repeats.

you look back at your box. yup, still had the big, bold, black inked MY THINGS!! scratched on the front. your aunt had already confirmed it yet he still asked you.

“…yup.” 

“cool! can i see it?” he asks excitedly. he’s already forcing himself in your space, crouching down at your level to look at the box more closely.

“hey!” you shriek, your arms aren’t strong enough to drag the heavy cardboard towards yourself, so you settle on flopping over and covering it from his grabby hands. “no touching!”

“why not?” the boy frowns at you. your eyes widen in disbelief.

“because these are my! things!” you slap a hand to the front of the box where the words are written to accentuate your point. the boy looks unfazed. it makes you angrier for some reason. screw the sun and the moving truck and him.

“didn’t your mommy teach you being nosy is bad?” you spit out.

“don’t got one.” Luffy responds swiftly. you startle, but he seems unfazed as he spoke the words naturally. like it wasn’t a big deal.

“…oh.” your voice dies in your throat. guilt creeping in your chest you feel your weight against your precious box of things. you pout, and look back up it him.

“sorry…” you mutter.

this time his eyebrows furrow in confusion “what for?” 

you blink at him, puzzled “because…i was being mean.” you explain, why were you explaining why he should be upset with you?

“i don’t have a mom either, to be honest…” you mutter the last part quiet, bitter and cold. so unlike him and the sun beating on your back. 

“i didn’t think you were being mean. i don’t really care if you were, i just wanted to see your stuff.”

you gape at him. half tempted to lecture him like the grown ups usually did. but you weren’t a grown up, you didn’t want to be.

“sooo,” he sings, kicking a small pebble “can i see?” he grins.

(you weren’t a grown up, but you definitely didn’t want to be like Luffy.)

you do end up letting him look through your box of toys. on the front porch and in the beating sun. it’ll be annoying to clean up but it wasn’t all bad playing with another person. even someone as strange as Luffy. you’d learned a little about him while he was rummaging through your items.

he lives with his grandpa and two brothers in the flat right above yours. (news he’d been very giddy about) him and his brothers apparently had a reputation for being troublemakers.

(you don’t doubt your auntie will also catch wind of it if you knew how much she loved gossip.)

he also liked to hang out with a grown up called Shanks who hangs around the local bar. he babbled about how he got his big straw hat from him as a keepsake. how cool he was even though he only had one arm and how he was kind of like a pirate but the only thought in your mind was what Luffy could possibly be doing hanging out at a bar with a bunch of old drunk guys at 8 years old. you also found out he shared the same age as you.

Luffy had asked you if you liked beetles because he loved beetles and playing, but nobody in the neighbourhood really liked to play with him. “i dunno why, beetles are super cool!” he’d complained with a pout. but you thought it was less about the beetles and more so about him. the old ladies around here liked him, though. he said he enjoyed spending time with them because they’d give him candy. 

“isn’t spending all your time with old grandma’s kinda sad?”

“why? they give me food! and i don’t spend all my time with them! i spend time with Sabo and Ace, too!”

ah, right. how could you have forgotten to mention the legendary Ace and Sabo? in the short time you’d known Luffy you found out his brothers were like deities to him. whatever they did was “super cool” or “awesome” or “super duper funny”. it didn’t matter that they tricked him into staying alone in their apartment with the excuse of keeping watch for bad guys, (which is how he’d come to bother you) that just meant Luffy wasn’t strong enough to stick with them yet.

“that sounds kinda mean...” you say sympathetically. but Luffy doesn’t take your words as kindness. instead, he takes them as a challenge.

“they’re not mean!” he frowned, honour to his brothers over all.

you frowned back “they totally ditched you.” you say bluntly.

“yeah! but—“ he sputtered, fumbling with his words while his eyebrows strained in thought “next time they won’t! “cos i’ll be cool like them, you’ll see!” 

you’d thought that would be the end of the conversation and he’d storm away. but Luffy was very…simple minded. the moment he saw something that caught his eye in your cardboard treasure trove he was right back to shuffling around in it with glittery eyes and a wide smile.

Luffy was kind of a dimwit. but he was a little funny. he’d made you laugh for the first time in a week when he’d randomly demonstrated his ability to do a hand stand only for him to fall flat on his back and the noise that punched out of his chest managed to make you grip your stomach with laughter. despite you clearly making fun of him he wasn’t the least bit embarrassed. instead he smiled, he laughed along with you laughing at him. everything seemed to pick up when he laughed, the wind warmed and the sun shone brightly. it was comfortable for a little bit.

it was when Luffy started complaining about being hungry that a loud voice bellowed his name. he stiffened, turning around stiff as an army cadet. when you were met with the stern face of his grandfather, you also instinctively straighten up, gulping.

Luffy’s grandpa scooped him up by the back of his top like a momma cat grabbing her kitten by its scruff. Luffy wiggled around helplessly while the older man questioned him incessantly.

“you’re here alone again, ain’t ya? where d’yer other rascal brothers run off to, huh?!”

“i-i dunno— i said i dunno, gramps—le’go o’ meee!!” he whined. shaking his little fists as he stuck his tongue out.

“stubborn little…” his grandpa gruffed. his eyes met yours and you almost squeaked before he did a complete 180. he greeted you with a warm smile, crouching down to hold out his hand and introduce himself— Monkey D. Garp.—huh. weird names.

“n-nice to meet you…” you said shakily. when his hand encased yours you yelped in surprise “OW—!”

he had the uncle grip.

“oh, sorry lil’ lady! can’t control m’strength with you younguns sometimes!” he said cheekily.

“grandpa’s handshakes hurt like hell!”

Garp looked as if he’d wrangle his grandson out of shock. he knocked his fist onto the little boy’s head “OI! who taught you that word, you brat?! i’ll bet it was Ace! or that no good drunk, Shanks!” he spit.

Luffy sputtered useless lies, lips forming to the side while he looked away from his grandfather.

Luffy also sucked at lying.

Garp quickly turned to greet your auntie before saying his goodbyes. still in his grandfather’s grip Luffy waved at you sneakily, although his voice projected so loudly the stealth was chucked out the window.

“see you tomorrow, Y/n!!” he smiled. bright. like the sun and the breeze.

“…okay.” you nodded, and his smiled widen even more somehow. even as his grandpa threatened him with a fistful of love—whatever that was, you didn’t want to find out.

yet when you looked back at him disappearing up the stairs, toys and school trinkets scattered around the front porch that you’d have to annoyingly clean up alone, everything else seemed quiet now thanks to the image the loud boy left in your mind, louder than anything else. like he planned to outshine the sun with only his smile.

and when you snapped out of your daze, you realised the delivery truck was long gone.

<It's only right that you should Play the way you feel it But listen carefully to the sound Of your loneliness. . .>

Luffy was a boy built of big dreams.

every time you’d see Luffy, which was practically every day, he’d have something new he wanted to be or do. 

he wanted to get taller “even taller than Ace! and gramps!” he’d say. so he wouldn’t get picked on by them all the time. 

he wanted to grow strong like the hero’s in the cartoons, too. “i don’t wanna be a hero, though, just strong like one! or like those pro wrestlers that do crazy suplexes on tv!!” 

he wanted to get a new bike for Christmas, he wanted to have the biggest plate of food during your neighbour’s annual barbecue  (which he easily achieved on his own and it never failed to make the grown ups laugh). he wanted to be cool like Shanks and he wanted a super fast race car that could take him anywhere.

at first, you’d make fun of him for having so many ambitions “you say something new every day!” you’d laugh, and Luffy would laugh right along with you in agreement. yet when he spoke you noticed that there was never a hint of doubt in his voice. in fact, his fantasies where barely that, he spoke with so much certainty every time he spoke his beliefs it seemed like the universe would bend to his will. like if spoke loudly enough it would nod and bow and give him what he wants. you don’t know where he could’ve gotten this frankly spoiled mentality from, but maybe it was the way he carried himself; tall, even though he was the same height as you, and certain. confidence too big for someone your age but it fit him like a glove. he was unashamed and unrestrained no matter what came his way.

so every time he’d voice something new to you, you felt almost special. proud that he’d share his stupid little dreams with you even though you were convinced he only spoke to you because he needed someone that would listen. but you didn’t mind, because Luffy wasn’t entirely spoiled. and you knew because he’d share his dreams with you. not just in words but in thought.

when Luffy wanted to get taller and stronger and cooler he’d add “—that way, if anybody tries to hurt us i could beat ‘em up, like bam!!” he’d demonstrate a horrible jab and kick, and you’d laugh saying you didn’t need protecting. “especially not from a wimp like you!” you’d tease, and Luffy would jump on you and you’d wrestle until your bellies hurt from laughing.

 when Luffy wanted his new bike he promised he’d let you ride on the back. and he did end up getting a new bike. and when he’d immediately clobbered on your door at the crack of dawn right after getting it he’d pushed and shoved your sleepy body onto the back of his bike. you’d lost your balance while zooming down a hill and both toppled off. your knees were bloody and your hands scratched from trying to break your fall but you’d both laughed loudly through it. even when his grandfather had scolded him so loudly he no doubt woke up everybody in the building. (he’d treated both of your injuries anyway. Luffy’s just a little too rough, but you could tell he was holding back, it was still Christmas after all.) 

and when he got his big plate of food…well Luffy was a glutton and didn’t like to share, probably a byproduct of living with two older brothers you found out were just rowdy as him. but it was funny seeing him scarf down his food in record speed, choke on a chicken bone then go right back to eating. and he always faithfully sat swinging his legs right next to you. pouting when you wouldn’t share your food like you hadn’t caught him red handed trying to steal a bite from your plate.

and of course, he promised he’d take you anywhere you wanted with his super fast red race car. “we could go on a road trip!”

“wouldn’t you wanna go with Ace or something? why me?” you’d ask once. you were only his silence filler after all.

luffy looked at you like you grew a second head “‘cos your my friend and i wanna go with you.” he’d said, easy as that. “plus, Ace would’ve called my car a kiddie car just cos i’m smaller than him and i would’ve gotten mad anyway.”

and just like that, you’d been sucked into Luffy’s orbit as his one and only friend.

literally. tagging along with Luffy meant you were introduced to his entire life. your auntie never allowed you to spend the night at the boy's house but you’d spend every other day outside with him. sometimes going further than you were allowed to when you were sure those older aunties upstairs weren’t watching you both like hawks from their balconies. going to the nearby corner store to buy candy would get you joking scoldings from the store clerk while you giggled and ran like bats out of hell. and you’d run back to his apartment to avoid the summer heat. then usually Ace was home.

he’d lounge around the living room when he wasn’t out causing trouble with Sabo, who’d have summer classes at the library. (yes, he signed up willingly. nerd.) he was bossy just because he was three years older. he’d turn the tv on super loud to annoy you and ruffle your hair on purpose because you hated when he did it. 

(Luffy didn’t see it the same way you had though. he was annoyed but only because Ace was apparently “hogging” you. gripping onto you tightly while he dragged you away from his brother who laughed loudly.)

but Ace was also kinda cool. he’d stand up for you when older kids on your block would try to scare you. he was scary when he was mad, and he’d often ask you if you had any trouble at school and to tell him if you did.

“boys your age are super dumb, so let me know when they bother ya! i’ll set em straight.” he’d said cooly, pointing to himself and everything with a proud shiny smirk.

“but you’re dumb too, Ace.” 

“h-hey!! i’m being nice to you, brat!”

“you are dumb ace,” Luffy piped up as well, grinning “‘cos you got held back!”

“SHADDUP, YOU LITTLE—COME HERE!" he shot up from his seat and straight to his brother’s neck. they tumbled and tussled and you laughed, hooting and hollering.

despite it all, Ace was kind, too. he’d carry you on his back sometimes if he felt like it and he’d faithfully treat you with an ice pop from his freezer every time you left their flat. (he’d hold it to your arm to make you cry out in surprise, just because he could and with a mean little snicker. he was still older and older meant annoying in Ace's book.) despite how annoying he was sometimes, you liked Ace. he was definitely cool. kinda like those bad boys on tv. Luffy hadn’t agreed with you then because his brother wasn’t like in those “chick flics” he gagged, sticking his tongue out.

Sabo was also someone Luffy admired. he was to him “super smart—like genius level!” and at the time you’d thought so too, only some type of super genius would willingly do his summer worksheet. 

Sabo was nicer to you and was more often than not the one who’d reign in Ace, “stop teasin’ her so much, Ace!” he’d laugh lightheartedly. and he’d always turn to you with a wink and promise he’d keep his brother in check.

“tch! as if you could.” Ace would mutter under his breath. they’d start squaring up immediately with Luffy itching to join in while you could only shake your head, disappointed.

Sabo would tease, but he’d usually slow down quicker when he saw you getting agitated. he talked like an old man sometimes, too. he’d say you got taller every time he saw you and when you’d mentioned it to him with a laugh he’d looked genuinely shocked. squeezing his chest and everything.

Luffy’s brothers were exactly what you’d expected from someone like him. he was constantly running after them. trying to act cool like them even if it meant causing trouble or getting hurt. the older you both got, the more you ended up becoming his makeshift nurse when he’d come back from causing mayhem with his brothers with minor injuries because he feared the wrath of his grandpa should he see him in this state. you were no lighter on him though, you never held back from scolding him for constantly being on his brother’s heels.

“but it was fun!” he’d say, lighthearted.

“i bet it’ll be real fun when you end up in jail.” you’d snark, digging your washcloth into his cheek. 

he winced at the sting, tilting away from you and making you grab his shoulder to sit him still.

“i’m not gonna end up in jail. i’m faster now! cops won’t even be able to catch me.” he’d grin, problem solved for him apparently. but not for you; you frown. slapping his leg lightly.

“my auntie tells me never to deal with jailbirds. i don’t like criminals.”

Luffy had jumped back in shock at your words. granted, you didn’t really know what a jailbird was yourself, but your aunt always told you to stay away from trouble. and you didn’t want Luffy to be trouble, because then who would he tell his ridiculous dreams to?

(you didn’t want to admit you wanted it to be you forever.)

later on that week, you’d caught Ace by the elevator and while riding on with him he’d snickered. and when you raised a brow in question he teased you for managing to "reform" his brother.

“guess he doesn’t wanna be a—what was it? hoodlum? nah, nah—jailbird! that was it!” he guffawed. “guess he doesn’t wanna be like us after all.”

his words made your entire body warm.

he’d still stick to his brother’s heels, always. but by ten, Luffy would spend more time with you. annoyingly and embarrassingly, he had a habit of yelling loud enough for you to hear from your balcony if you were home “Ace an’ Sabo are out again, so let’s go play!!” he’d call out, hands cupped around his mouth.

he’d still sing their praises, talk about how cool they were. he'd told you once the last time they came home they almost got caught by the police and got dogs sicked out on them. he’d added that while he was asleep, Ace had snuck onto his bunk in the middle of the night and they told him he was glad he wasn’t there that time.

“i dunno if Ace thought i was asleep or if he knew i was awake the whole time..” Luffy hummed, deep in thought but expression serene.

“that’s sweet of him,” you said. but Luffy shook his head.

“nah,” Luffy smiled, continuing to balance along the curb “just means i gotta get stronger!” he’d spoken into the air, determined to have it hear his voice.

Luffy was a boy built of big dreams, all individual thoughts and desires that shaped him into who he was. but on the night of his 11th birthday, he’d told you his biggest one yet.

a loud rattle by your window had startled you awake. you looked to see feet dangling by the window and you were almost tempted to throw your window open and push the burglar. what you thought was a burglar ended up being Luffy. you could hear the sound of his struggle while he tried to climb down the fire escape as safely as he could. he kicked your window two times and stumbled on the third, his version of a knock since his hands were clearly busy holding him up for dear life. you quickly shot out of bed through your sleepy haze.

“LUFFY?! what the HELL are you doing, you psycho?!” you hissed through the night air. 

“hiya, N/n,” he grunted, but still with that stupid grin. “your sleep hat’s leanin’.” he giggled.

“don’t—what the—get down from there!!” you sputtered, how could he try to have a conversation like this?!!

(but reflexively, you fixed your sleep bonnet.)

“i will, just move out the way!” 

when you did, he swung in clumsily, rolling inside with the flair of a baby bird who’s wings were covered in sticky gum. “woah—!” he gasped. you shrieked, covering your eyes in disbelief.

“hehehe, what’re ya hidin’ for?” luffy spoke calmly after a moment, entirely too calm for somebody who’d climbed through your window and could’ve potentially died on the day of his birthday if things had gone differently. you don’t know how you’d explain this to his grandpa, to his brothers. but Luffy snaps you out of your thoughts by pulling your hands away from your eyes with a giggle and a closed eye smile. his cheeks slightly flushed from the adrenaline.

“ya scared of me or sum’?” he teased, your wrists in his grip.

you huffed, frowning. finally speaking when you managed to catch your breath (you wonder why his stunt took more out of you than him, he couldn’t be human. no way.) 

“scared of how stupid you are, yeah…” you grumbled. Luffy giggled. leaning back on his heels. straw hat dangling on his back. he looked out of your still open window at the pitch black sky. from your window you couldn’t see the moon, it was blocked off by the apartment across the street, taller than yours. so you’d always watch new year’s eve fireworks from Luffy’s fire escape. but if you squinted and tilted your head hard enough you could catch a glimpse of its glow. yet it didn’t seem like what Luffy was looking for. you don’t know what it is he’s looking at exactly, but you adjust to sit next to him anyway.

“can i tell ya somethin’?” 

his quiet question catches you off guard. he wasn’t one to be shy about sharing his thoughts, his mouth moved before his brain caught up most of the time. or it moved as if it had a will of it’s own.

“yeah, sure.”

Luffy leaned against the window sill. the light from the lamp posts illuminated his face, his smile, as he spoke;

“i’m gonna be the freest man in the world.”

for some reason, chills rucked up your spine. 

Luffy always proclaimed everything he wanted to do, this wasn’t anything new. he wanted something, he’d get it; he wanted to do something, he’d do it. 

“someday, i will be. i dunno when but i’ll do it. and i’ll know when i do.”

you could only sit quiet for a moment.

“so like…a bum?”

he laughed, nudging his shoulder to yours playfully “bums’re lazy! i’m not gonna be lazy! i’m gonna be free!”

“how free?” you asked, because you truly wondered what freedom was for luffy. was it freedom to do whatever he wants?

“that too, yeah.” he responded, you hadn’t realised you said that out loud. “i wanna be free to choose for myself what i wanna do. where i wanna go…” he hummed, scratching his hair in frustration “i don’t know how to explain it—i just want anything ever holdin’ me back.”

he turned to you then. his head dug inside his elbow hiding the lower part of his face from you, but you could still see the corners of his smile.

“i want that for you, too. want you to do whatever you wanna..” he mumbled, voice droopy. “you…and Ace…an’ Sabo..n’ gramps…”his eyes slowly shut “n’you..” he repeated, voice trailing off while he fell deeper and deeper into sleep.

Luffy was made of dreams. ones he held dear and ones he shared with you. ones he wanted for you and all of the people in his orbit. and even as his voice drooped and lowered and faded with sleep, he still spoke them firmly, determined. certain. speaking them loud enough wasn’t an issue anymore for his growing body—at 11 he was sure he could speak and it was bound to happen. he smiled even in his sleep and you wondered what he dreamed about until you forgot how long you’d been watching. until his mouth started falling open and drool trickled out of its corners.

“mmnghh, meaat…” he mumbled in his sleep. 

you giggled, covering your mouth to hide the noise. 

that was the first time a boy had slept in your room.

<Now, here I go again I see the crystal visions I keep my visions to myself It's only me who wants to Wrap around your dreams And have you any dreams you'd like to sell? Dreams of loneliness>

“yo, yn! come pick up table four!!” 

you peek your head out from behind the beaded door curtain “dude, you’re already out there!”

“nah,” your coworker, Del smirks, leaning against the doorway  “s’your regular~!” he sings.

you roll your eyes, spinning back inside the break room “..be right there.” you grumble. 

unsurprisingly—Luffy’s the one at table four. blue baggy shorts and a red baseball tee on and of course, his iconic straw hat like a centre piece, poking out from behind the menu. his basketball shoes are untied as usual and wave from left to right.

he’s practically melting into the plush seats and you have half a mind to scold him but at that moment he looks up and sees you. his face brightens as always. the same happy, goofy boy, your Luffy with the faint scar under his eye. but there is something different you’ve recently gotten used to. the little bandaid over his eyebrows, the slight redness and chipping on his knuckles where he’s gripping laminated paper.

“Y/n!” he greets you with a bright smile. “you get off now, right?”

“i was supposed to, yeah.” you spit sarcastically, flashing him your fakest sweet smile. “‘till some big back barged in here and asked for me specifically even though he could’ve asked for anyone else.”

“i like when it’s you.” Luffy giggled unfazed, leaning back in his chair like he owned the place, the seats squeak from the strain of carrying his flopped form. “sides, i’m giving you overtime—means you get more money!” he teased.

Luffy was a frequent visitor of The Braised Lamb, so familiar that he knew everyone who worked there and everyone who worked there knew him. they always greeted him warmly and there wasn’t a moment Luffy was here where you couldn’t hear laughter from all the way in the break room, from staff and customers alike. out of all the regulars, Luffy was a fan favourite. 

except all of your coworkers called him your regular. because every time he was there he would call for you to take his order without fail. even when you’d have them say you were on break he’d simply wait, only to complain about how he was starving when he’d finally see you. but he’d never stop doing it. fast forward a year of you working there, it had become an inside joke between the staff. one you hated with a passion.

“nice try, hooker.” you spit, ignoring his laughter at your petty insult. he’d received it because Luffy was always stomping out of his apartment in the middle of the night with “something to do.” the walls were old and thin, and it wasn't like he had a knack for being sneaky, so you'd question him often. that something? he wouldn’t tell you, always waving you off with a joke and very nervous laughter. all you knew was that he was out by the time you'd wake up and always there before your shift ended to order some food and walk you home. you started referring to him as such to tease him. you didn’t call him that often, only when he really managed to piss you off. 

you pull out your writing pad and pen, scratching it down onto the paper to test the ink, screw your boss and his old fashioned ways, you think bitterly. “let’s speed it up so i can go home, yeah?” 

Luffy nods, looking back at the menu and humming in thought “hmmmmm, ge’meeee…a big beef noodle bowl and a chicken one—with the runny egg on the beef one, that one’s for me!” 

Luffy’s list of food progressively grows lengthier, and he seemed blind to the questioning looks you were sending him when he kept adding foods that could feed a family of six. he finally told you that it wasn’t only for him, pouting when you distrusted him, insistent that it was for his brothers and grandpa as well. and that was all nice and good but this was still a lot…he’d even ordered dessert for gods’ sake!

“okay…will that be all?” you say tentatively.

“oh, yeah—what’d you wanna eat, Y/n?” 

you raise a brow. “me?”

Luffy nods with a smile, waiting for your answer. 

“i dunno—i guess i’m feeling some gyoza right now…” you think. Luffy’s smile widens. "that it?" he asks. you nod warily, his eyebrows pull up and so does his bandaid and you almost ask him about it before he speaks again.

“kay, i’ll have that too, then!”

this time, your pen freezes. “Luffy…you know i’m not spotting you for this, right?”

his eyebrows furrow “course i do! i wasn’t gonna make you pay for all that.”

“then how are you paying for this?”

“..with money?” you hate how he frowns like you’re the stupid one. “you okay? you been workin’ all day, right? maybe you should go sit down.” he says, eyes searching for yours. your veins pull and your grip tightens on your pen, immediately forgetting about your concerns you scowl at him.

“i was sitting down! five minutes earlier! until you called for me, fuck-ass!” luffy hums an apologetic small “o-ooooh….right.” you roll your eyes with an exasperated sigh. you spin around towards the kitchen “big order for table four!” you call.

“don’t forget the gyoza!” luffy calls after you. you flip him off without looking back. you hear him laugh and shake your head.

. . . 

“order up!” 

. . . 

after saying your goodbyes with the rest of the staff, you leave through the back with a sigh. looking up at the pitch black sky, you pull out your phone to check for the next train when you’re met with Luffy. holding three bags of food on one arm with his phone in hand and leaning against the wall. he looks up and smiles again like he hadn’t seen you in years. you wonder how he’s able to do that even after all these years. but your own mouth pulls up seeing him waiting for you.

“hey! was just about to call you!” he shoves his phone in his pocket and reaches for your free hand. he always ran warm, you had gotten used to the feel of it. reflexively your thumb runs over his knuckles. bruised, scuffed. unfamiliar. your lips twitch without your control.

“let’s go.” he smiles, you nod.

“next train's in fifteen.” Luffy hums in response, swinging your hands slightly.

“we’ll make it in time.” he reponds, and this time you hum.

you’d gotten used to these moments of calm silence with Luffy. he who was always so eager to move and do things also sometimes had moments when the quiet of the night called to him. where he simply wanted to feel the shadows of the street lights shine behind his eyelids and the puffs of cold air when he exhaled. 

your thumb grazes his bruised knuckles again and they falter, but his hand squeezes yours. 

“if we don’t hurry, your food will get cold.” you tease quietly.

“Ace an’ Sabo won’t mind reheatin’ it.” he says simply. “and i know you’re tired from being on your feet all day, so we don’t have to rush.”

your heart warms. a simple but sweet and considerate gesture, everything about it screamed Luffy. 

“good. i really don’t even feel like walking right now,” you groan tiredly “i’d sleep right here on the sidewalk if i could..”

Luffy chuckles. “i could carry ya if you want.”

“think your hands are more than full right now, but i appreciate it, Lu.” you snort and squeeze his hand.

“s’no big.” he responds. strangely quiet, like he wants to say more. but he doesn’t. instead he sighs.

“maaaan, i’m hungry!” 

you giggle “no whinin’!” 

“you were just whinin’!”

“was not!”

“were too!”

you continue to laugh along the way, hand in his grip and the unfamiliar feel of his knuckles.

when Luffy rings your doorbell, two of his takeout bags are long gone and only one remains; his beef bowl and your gyoza.

“delivery!” he teases. you roll your eyes fondly, stepping back to let him in.

“your auntie ain’t home?” he asks, kicking his shoes off.

“nah, late shift at the hospital.” you respond, walking to the kitchen while luffy sets the bags down on your large coffee table “i already heated the food up for us!” Luffy calls loudly. “you sure you’re good with just this?!” 

“yeah, i got left over rice!” your breath halts when you hear the shuffling of plastic bags, the overwhelming scent of ramen and Luffy’s greedy hum. “LUFFY! placemats, dammit! do you want my auntie to kill us both?!”  

“oh—“ Luffy giggles “sorry!” 

you groan, shaking your head; you come back with the mats and your rice, placing them on the table “fuckin’ big back..”

“i’m starving!” he whines, pouting at you. chin on the table. you pat his straw hat, digging it onto his head so he splutters. 

“have some composure.” you laugh despite yourself, and seeing the smile on your face brings his back. Luffy excitedly tells you to eat up and starts without you, humming between gobbles and loud slurps. and you both enjoy some warm food by the tv. 

but something surges back to you. a thought. 

“where’d you get that from?”

Luffy’s slurps freeze. he looks at you wide eyed and cheeks full, a deer caught in headlights, it almost makes you laugh. 

“get what?” he asks, but his hand flies over his bandaid to itch his temple.

your pointer digs into the bandaid and he winces lightly “that.” 

“o-oh!! yeah…yeah, that!” he chokes out. his eyes dart around the room, anywhere but you, to look for anything to save him. then he shovels more food into his mouth. “this is really good, right?!”

in all the years since you’d been here and knew Luffy, he’d remained the shittiest liar you know. 

“Luffy...” you warn. it hadn’t been a big deal before, but now that he was acting like this your eyebrows furrow in worry.

his expression flickers once he sees yours. he drops his chopsticks and reaches for you, his thumb landing on your lower lip.

“don’t look like that..” he mumbles.

“then don’t lie to me.” you said firmly. you’d meant for it to be firm, but your voice wavers just a bit.

“i—it’s nothin’. i just got into it with some guy..”

“what guy?” you insist.

“doesn’t matter,” he insists back but he frowns desperately “i don’t even remember his name, honest. we were just out, Ace and i, and he was talkin’ trash so we fucked him up.” 

“what—“ Luffy hanging out causing trouble with his brothers wasn’t new, but had he been getting in trouble with neighbourhood gangs? your heart starts squeezing. “what’re you jumping people for?! what’d he say—how did he even know about you anyway?” 

Luffy flinches like your questions hurt him “Ace is well known ‘round here, y’know? and he scolded me, too. said i ‘run my mouth too much for my own good’…” he grumbled, face pouty.

you’re slightly reassured to know he hadn’t gotten himself into anything serious, but you couldn’t go light on him. “you should be more careful, he might come back with more people next time.” 

“then i’ll just kick all their asses!” he responded with his stupid grin, problem solved for him. you sigh.

“the hell you will.” you respond, punching his shoulder. 

he whines, even though you're sure it did not hurt him “what? you don’t believe me?” 

“i know you’re strong, Luff. but multiple people by yourself? i don’t know if that’s possible for anyone that’s not like…from Baki.” you joke. 

“i’m stronger than Baki for sure.” Luffy says proudly, causing you to laugh. 

Luffy had gotten stronger and taller like he assured you he would. he’d grown up a lot in the ten years you knew him but every year you’re glad to see he hadn’t changed at all. he’d stay the same, your very best friend and though he’d met new friends at his school like you’d expected him and his bright personality to attract; Zoro, Ussop, Sanji, to name a few…he was constantly tied to you. waiting for you by the gates of your school every day with that grin. even when his grandpa would meet him at your doorstep with a fistful of love for ditching class.

yeah, he’d gotten taller. stronger, handsome…but he was still just your friend Luffy! 

you pick a bite of gyoza between your chopsticks, bringing it to his face without looking at him. “just quit getting yourself in trouble. i told you i don’t hang out with jailbirds.” you chide. Luffy freezes for only a moment, then that big goofy smile takes over his face once more. he leans forward and chomps down, munching away happily, and gathers a few scoops of the bites he had on the side to lead them to your mouth for an equal exchange. he’d gotten better at sharing, despite remaining just as hungry and just as greedy…

Luffy, always as impulsive and always having to keep you on your toes. leans until he’s in your face but even still grabs your cheeks. your eyes widen and he smiles wider. he presses a smooch to your nose—it’s unnecessarily long and unnecessarily wet, and you giggle. you grab his shoulders to push him but he leans closer, pressing more ramen flavoured kisses to both your cheeks “you’re the best, N/n.” he says, and he always says it like he wants to add more but like he himself doesn’t know what to say.

he presses one last kiss to your forehead, giggling when you complain about his “nasty grease mouth” on you and you two return to eating by the tv. when your bellies are fully and you sigh contently, luffy leans back against the couch and his bruise covered knuckles graze yours. you reach for him and he squeezes your hand tightly. no words need to be exchanged for now.

it doesn’t dawn on you until much later, around a month later maybe, or perhaps you’d just been silencing your own thoughts about the issue. nevertheless, it dawns on you that Luffy is actively lying to you.

he hasn’t been blowing you off and he’s not ignoring you. he comes to pick you up at work every day, with a few new colourful bruises each time or a singular bandaid covering his nose bridge if you’re really lucky. his new look had gotten him a few comments from the people around you; neighbours, your coworkers, even customers. he had always been a fan favourite, your Luffy. yet just like with you, he’d wave them off with a joke every time, but unlike them, it took much more than a joke to get you off his back.

at first, he claims it’s because he’s been working out with Zoro, you’d met him before. quiet guy with sharp eyes who always seemed too mysterious of a character type to be hanging out with Luffy. until he’d get roped into Luffy’s shenanigans and you realised one was just as dumb as the other. you were glad Luffy had been able to find a friend that matched him, it even seemed like they were long lost brothers at times.

“Zoro always wants to go to the gym, like, mega early. i swear, it’s unbearable! says it’s to clear his mind or whatever, but i just think he uses it as an excuse to get to kick my ass..” he rambled once, leaning against the railing of the creaky old stairs of your apartment. he reached for your hand then, pointing to his cheek “see! he did this, isn’t he the worst?! you’ll kiss it better fa’ me, yeah?” he pouted. 

that might not have been a complete lie, but it was never the full truth and Luffy was actively lying to you. that was a fact nothing or no one could deny. not even his stupid jokes or his stupid crooked smile and the way he’d hightail it out of there when he knew you didn’t buy his shit. when he got caught in a lie and had no more excuses for himself.

it also didn’t help that the stomping down the stairs you’d be hearing a while ago through your thin walls started becoming more faint. quiet, slow ones, like the person climbing was trying to be sneaky. this was also around the time Luffy’s morning stomps for his workouts with Zoro became less frequent. 

when you asked him about it, he stiffened. “aw, you been hearin’ me?” he laughed nervously. 

“not like it’s hard. you stomp like a behemoth.”

he’d laughed, then. but he’d been strangely quick to end the conversation and run off. very, very unlike him.

his brothers where also no help at all. they always seemed like they were hiding something whenever you talked to them about Luffy’s odd behaviour. you don’t know if it was some kind of weird genetic defect or if they all inherited their inability be convincing liars from each other. 

him suddenly not going to the gym as much?

“he’s not good with keeping routine, you know how he is..” Ace waved off.

always seeming like he was hiding something?

“he seems the same to me ! maybe you were imagining it?” Sabo said sweetly.

the bruises that kept appearing all over his body?

“..w-well, i mean, he’s—y’know—Luffy! he’s a klutz y’know? real moron that one…you know, i saw him trip over his own leg last week!” Sabo sputtered with a nervous laugh.

him always coming back at ungodly hours of the night? 

“he’s Luffy! who knows what he’s doin’..probably hanging out with his other friends…what, don’t tell me you’re feelin’ jealous?” Ace teased. 

(that remark had gotten him a gut punch.)

but the worst part of it all was that Luffy was, and has always been, a piece of shit liar. he couldn’t lie to save his, his brothers’ and his grandpa’s life combined, and it pissed you off that he at least couldn’t develop some decent lying skills when he did it straight to your face. he couldn’t at least spare you with some manufactured denial, the bastard was that bad at it!

that was because Luffy always wore his heart on his sleeve. if he felt something, he’d say it, and on the off chance he didn’t it would very clearly show on his face. like a few days before your birthday, every year without fail, he’d cover his mouth and sprint away from you, but you’d see the very giddy glint in his eyes and how he always seemed to hold back a grin around you. needless to say, you’d refined your acting skills every year when he’d pull out a present from behind his back with a loud “surprise!” at the crack of dawn because he simply couldn’t wait anymore.

and now he was lying to you. not only him, but Ace and Sabo too. ignoring the worry in your heart, that just hurt. a lot.

you feared what Luffy could’ve gotten himself into; had he gotten into drug dealing? was he getting extorted for money? luffy had never been the type to waver or be intimidated by anybody, but he wouldn’t tell you anything so your mind was doing it for you now. maybe him and his brothers had gotten into something shady? but they weren’t like that. trouble making idiots occasionally getting their asses kicked for a busted window? sure. but criminals? them?

you couldn’t imagine it. as stupid and preachy as it sounded, you wanted there to be better for them. that you’d all be able to do something with yourselves beyond the town where you’d gotten used to police sirens late at night, the loud pops of fireworks, or something else sometimes. the murmurs in the streets when last night’s ring fight went south. the nice and less nice people in your little neighbourhood.

you had no idea what to imagine or what to think. or what to do. who to talk to. 

that was until one night. where you wake up with a startle and a knock on your window.

usually, you don’t gasp so hard your throat clogs, because there was only one person you knew would be crazy enough to do this. but your head had been so cluttered lately the culprit of your misery, Luffy himself knocking at your window, was the last thing you expected. even after all these years. 

except this isn’t like before. because you've never seen him in the state he was in now. his shirt crumpled like he’d thrown it on without thinking. straw hat askew on his head and his face…oh, his face.. you don’t think your heart had ever dropped harder.

despite the black eye forming on his face and the red, tissue filled nose he was sporting, he was all fucking smiles. hand at your window just in case you hadn’t seen him like you could’ve missed him in the state he was in. 

slowly, out of habit you unlock the window, but your heart is beating wildly. so hard you can hear it in your ears. Luffy’s saying something about how chilly it is, but you can’t even hear him close the window behind him. your gaze is fixed on him and slowly he comes to understand. his eyes soften. there’s understanding and sadness swimming in his eyes. even something akin to shame. 

“…what the hell?” you start slowly. 

“N/n…” Luffy starts, reaching for you. but you won’t let him finish or get any closer, you shuffle away from him, shaking your head.

“w-what the hell..? why’re you—Luffy, what the fuck is wrong with you?!” you gasp. it comes out harshly, so harsh he flinches like you’d hit him.

“it’s..not that bad, right?” he tries to smile, it pulls at the split in his lip and he licks over the wound with a careless “ouch…” that makes your blood run cold and boil at the same time.

“why—why are you here like this?!” you whisper shriek. you almost wish he hadn’t shown up despite you aching to just be able to talk to him. 

“i..i can’t go upstairs like this, gramps’ll kill me..!” he whispers back loudly, gaze pleading. you could almost slap him, you should smack him!

“wh-and you think i won’t kill you?!” 

“..i was hopin’ so..” he pouts, it tries to come out as a joke but his voice is too unsteady for it. 

you slump in surrender, a tired sigh escaping your mouth as you cover your face in your hands. “what the hell is going on with you, Luffy..?” you plead. “please, just…” you can’t finish your sentence.

Luffy is quiet for a long while. the draft from outside the closed window drags against it. you hear him shuffling.

“i..” he starts, voice low “i didn’t want ya to find out like this. didn’t want ya t’find out at all..” he chuckles humourlessly. “i just—it wasn’t supposed ta go that far. this guy, i recognised ‘im cus i beat him up one time, he said that his big bro heard about him and wanted to see me or somethin’. i wasn’t gonna at first, but he said he knew Ace..and he said it’d make me good money..”

“so what, you went and got your face smashed in for money?” you scoff. you decide to ignore Luffy casually mentioning beating someone up. 

he frowns “i didn’t. i—we were fightin’ and i won. f’you think i look bad you should see him..” he mumbles. “and they gave me the money—and i bought a bunch of food with it!” he says excitedly, pleading “for Ace, and Sabo. and gramps. Zoro and Ussop ate from my takeout. Sanji ate some too, and Nami and Robin.. and you,” he adds “i jus’ wanted us all to have a nice, greasy meal…it started like that, at least.” 

“Luffy…” you whimper, running a hand over your face. you can’t compute, you understand, you think, but it just won’t stick. “i—what you’re doing could get you in trouble. you have to stop. now.” 

Luffy looks down at his lap, looking torn. he can’t look at you, his straw hat slides over his eyes, covering them. 

“i can’t..” 

your eyebrows furrow, something in your chest sparks painfully “…they’re threatening you, aren’t they? we can sort it out if—“

“it’s not that!” Luffy’s voice rings out. you startle, eyebrows furrowing harder in confusion. 

“what are you talking about?”

“i-i can’t ‘cos..i’ve got a match next week, so..” 

your chest flames, your heart throbs. your eyes sting with tears you won’t let spill and you are so unbelievably angry.

“what the fuck are you talking about, you moron?!” you spit out. Luffy’s lip trembles “i—so what, you’re some type of gangster now?! what is it? the thrill or some bullshit you heard in a boxing movie?”

“it’s not that simple, Y/n,” he mutters lowly “it’s..when i’m there, i don’t wanna stop. makes me feel..good. strong.” he breathes. and oh, the way he says it; airy, entranced. his eyes peak from under his hat and you seem them; wide and shining with the thrill of adventure like when he convinced you he could totally bike down the street with you on the back. he looks happy, like he always does. dumb and goofy, your Luffy.

“i know you think it’s about Ace or Sabo, but it’s not about them anymore, i don’t wanna drag them down but…this is—it’s like—“ he looks up like he forgot he was even talking to you, and when he sees you he frowns. you don’t understand, he can see it in your eyes. and the way his expression crumples makes your heart squeeze despite yourself.

“i—you can’t. you can’t,” you insist, strain in your voice as you lean closer to him now “Luffy—those places are bad. they’re dangerous—you could die out there!” 

“i know that. just means i was too weak, then.” Luffy cuts in sharply, he continues before you can speak sense into him. “i know you and the others are worried about me. you talk to me like i’m stupid, but i’m not. i know what i’m doing. m’not a kid anymore, Y/n.” he says, voice rising with his own emotions.

“well, clearly, you don’t know what you’re doing considering you’re letting other guys beat on you for cash!!”

“i told you it’s not like that! i—i didn’t want you to find out like…this! ”

“oh, should i thank you, then?! for using my place as a shelter so you don’t get your ass whooped? i mean—fuck, Luffy! you—you dodge me for weeks—“

Luffy’s eyes widen, he splutters “i wasn’t dodgin’!”

“you were!! you were and you were lying and i was worried, you jerk! and the entire time you’re doing something like this! i—“ you cut yourself off to take a sharp, deep, breath. you feel like you’re underwater. “i thought you wanted to be free..”

Luffy’s eyes bulge, it’s almost funny how viscerally he reacts to that “..i am! it feels like i am, out there! i hate when i feel stuck sometimes but when i’m in the ring it’s like…nothing but that matters anymore!”

“what about when the cops catch you? or when you get shanked in some fuckin’ alleway—how free are you gonna be then?!” 

“that’s not gonna happen.” 

“and how would you know—do you hear yourself right now?!”

you’re heaving, you’re both heaving despite not having moved an inch from your bed. this for some reason brings you back to Luffy’s 11th birthday. a memory you hold dearly in your heart, that you think back on fondly. as hard as you tried, you couldn’t stay mad at Luffy. so you had to pretend to, you lie as well.

Luffy suddenly shoots up, he stumbles a bit with a wince and you’re already moving to tend to him before you can control your body, but he’s up before you can.

“you don’t get it.”

“i don’t get it?” you scoff.

“no. you don’t.” he whips around to glare at you, and it freezes you both in your tracks. Luffy moves before you, he grips his hat, and walks out of your room. you want to chase after him, to explain because he doesn’t get it, he really doesn’t. to yell, to punch and kick, you want to break something.

“when you end up dead in a ditch, don’t come crying to me!!” you yell instead, voice cracking. 

you heave and keep heaving even after your door slams. and through your paper thin walls you hear the sound of his shoes descending lower and lower and out of the building to who knows where. you don’t look out of your window to know. you shove your head into your pillow and groan, before collapsing into it with a weak cry.

that was the first time Luffy had left your house without wishing you goodnight.

<Like a heartbeat, drives you mad In the stillness of remembering What you had and what you lost And what you had, and what you lost. . .>

it’s a week later, the day of Luffy’s big match. and you and him haven’t talked since the fight.

you’ve been working, taking on more shifts to distract yourself. you were somewhat thankful that Luffy would fuck off to wherever he went to early so you rarely crossed him when you got back home, because when you did, it always felt like a stab to your heart. 

you remember one time when you were 9, when you and Luffy had an argument. something stupid you can’t recall, but you were ignoring him. Ace and Sabo would show up to your doorstep begging you for help as Luffy had refused to leave his room until you wanted to see him again. and knowing Luffy, you knew he would hold true to that vow no matter what. you hated it, it made you feel horrible. you hated that you always had to be responsible for him because you were his one friend.

“s’not about you bein’ his friend, dummy,” Ace said, ruffling your hair “s’cos you’re you. you should see how he talks about you, it’s like…” he’d cut himself off with a laugh and didn’t continue no matter how much you pestered him. “not for me to say!” he’d say, arms raised in surrender. 

fighting with Luffy never felt good, not only because you were mad. but because he’d never hide how much he missed you, he didn’t want to stay angry for long and got tired of it pretty quickly. but he knew you didn’t, so he’d let you be until you were ready to play again. 

now, you haven’t spoken in days. he still stopped by the restaurant from time to time when he knew you were supposed to be on break, you guessed he couldn’t fully stay away—from the food or you, that you didn’t know. he chatted amicably with one of your coworkers, who commented about his beat up face while Luffy laughed it off.

“ you better not be gettin’ yourself in trouble. anyway, you want me to bring your favourite waiter over?” he teased.

“oh, nah—i’m good! m’sure she’s tired and i got..somewhere to be later...” he responded, then he’d ordered, grabbed his food and left. you ignored the questioning look your coworker shot you.

you’ve been hearing about the infamous fight night. the younger cooks and waiters around your age seemed to know a lot about it. placing their bets because it was apparently a big event. the new guy as, they’d dubbed him, had been pit against an “actual monster”in their words. it didn’t take much for you to put two and two together. 

“i swear the guy’s insane. had to be pulled off dudes, some real bane shit.” Del joked, ignoring one of the cooks in the kitchen scolding him for slacking off “i feel bad for the new guy, he doesn’t know what he’s up against. unless he’s trynna get some clout from it, but i don’t know it that’s worth it.” he snickered, sticking his tongue out and pretend playing dead. you laughed awkwardly and swallowed hard through the lump in your throat.

The square, as most called it, was infamous and elusive at the same time. everyone around the corner knew about it, but never first hand, always word of mouth or people straight up lying. nobody knew what it looked like inside and it was rare to meet people who were actually involved in the scheme, they were very secretive—apparently, you had to be invited to these types of events or be a big deal investor. this just made you even more confused as to how Luffy had managed to get roped into something like this.

you couldn’t imagine anybody that was loaded ending up on this side of town to come looking for new talent. but Del, ever the connoisseur, had explained that that was exactly why they came over here in the first place.

“they look for dude’s that are starved for cash or thrills or who just wanna make it outta here. deal they can’t refuse type shit.” he’d said easily while you were on break together, sitting outside. “speakin’ of, i didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff, Y/n.” 

“oh, yeah,” you chuckled shyly “guess i’m just getting curious, everyone’s talkin’ about it after all.”

“don’t get too curious, now.” he teased and laughed when you shoved his shoulder. 

it’s friday night, night of the big fight, it had been the buzz in the restaurant the entire evening like it was a game of football. boys excitedly talking and placing bets, some you thought were way to young to be knowing about this topic but joined in to seem cool. by closing time, you were bussing tables with a hole in your chest. fingers tight around the cloth to keep them from shaking with nerves. you clock out early with the knot in your throat that had been building since last week threatening to close off all air flow as you walked home, alone. fifteen minutes before your next train.

you get home without a hitch, or any sign of Luffy.  you freeze on your way up the stairs to listen for any sign of your upstairs neighbours. it’s quiet and you’re tempted to go check in with them, to ask Ace and Sabo if they knew. Luffy had mentioned that his grandfather would kill him if he found out that he fought, but what of his brothers? 

you decide to head home. 

later on, you awaken with a jolt. but maybe it’s a reflex because when your head whips to your bedroom window, there’s nothing. no one. you glance at your phone, a thousand thoughts racing through you. 

fuck it, you decide, snatching your phone from the table. but you can’t even look for his contact because there’s a knock at your door.

well not a knock, a pounding at your door followed by softer knocks like the person behind the door just realised that you might be asleep. but then there’s an incessant ringing on your doorbell. you shoot up, because you at least know what time it is, and only one person in the world could be this ignorant.

you swing the door open and there he stands—Luffy. just slightly bruised, clothes crumpled and heaving like he ran here. his hands are wrapped up to his knuckles and in his hand—a bag of steaming hot takeout.

“i…i didn’t know if you were awake still,” Luffy heaves, his nose is red and eyes a bit puffy. he wipes his nose with a sniffle, there’s red on the sleeve of his bomber jacket. 

“i—i came here as fast as i could after i was done. i couldn’t think about nothin’ else. but i had to come with something so i went to your job and you weren’t there but the owner let me order even though they were already closing.” 

Luffy was rambling at the speed of sound, so fast you could barely catch up, but just barely, being used to years of his fast pace. his eyes darted and his fingers twitched with adrenaline. 

“Luffy—“

“i—!” Luffy cuts you off because he can’t stop talking, a weeks worth of what he couldn’t say flying out of his mouth “usually…when i win i feel…unstoppable. i feel strong and it feels good. but tonight i didn’t care. it was a big fight, too. but it was easy but—i—it didn’t feel good. i felt gross. and my hands hurt.” Luffy pleads for you without saying it, eyes swimming with sadness when his sweet brown eyes finally connect with yours “it doesn’t feel good when you’re mad at me, Y/n..” his voice cracks. his fingers itch for you but he stops himself, taking a deep breath. 

“s-so i brought you food! it’s what you like. promise i didn’t eat from it. it smells super good and i almost took a fry but i didn’t cus i-i wanted—“ 

Luffy freezes when you grab his bandaged hand. the words stay trapped in his throat.

“Luffy.” you repeat firmly. you don’t know what to say yet, but you just had to stop him, even just for a little while. 

your hand tangles with his because as soon as he registers you’re touching him again he won’t let go, his body won’t let him. so your other hand reaches up to run through his hair, and down to his cheek. the exhale he lets out is akin to a sigh of relief. he melts completely, leaning into your palm and turning to press his mouth to it. he closes his eyes and inhales in pure bliss, still in your doorway.

“i was careful, and i went super quick. i didn’t wanna get hurt again and worry ya..” he drops the takeout bag to the floor softly but quickly and brings his hand up to cover yours, pressing it harder into his skin like he could fuse with you. his lips press to your skin softly after each word.

“m’sorry for lyin’ to ya,” kiss “and hidin’ from ya,” two kisses “and worryin’ ya.” three kisses. it makes you huff out a laugh and a smile pull to his lips, he teethes just lightly at your skin to make you squeeze his hand in reprimand. 

“i don’t want you to hate me, Y/n. hate it more than anythin’. even more than losin’ or when ace eats my food.” you giggle at his words, shaking your head.

“i don’t hate you, Lu..i never could..” you admit softly, tears already burning behind your eyes. “what i said to you—it was..horrible. i shouldn’t have—i never should’ve, i was just so..angry. i couldn’t understand why you’d throw away your life like this, i still don’t.” you admit to him, Luffy’s gaze stays faithfully on yours and he listens. his eyes follow along with your words, his hand squeezes yours. 

your hand, still on his face, brushes over his features. soft scars and soft skin, the raised skin of his scar and the place where the bandaid over his eyebrow had been just a few days earlier. replaced by a small cut under his bottom lip.

“s’alright, i’m not mad,” he reassures sincerely, nuzzling into your touch whenever he could. finally he grabs your wrist to still you so he could look at you firmly “we can forget about it, yeah?” he pleads.

you swallow hard “i don’t think i can just forget this, Luffy.”

Luffy swallows harshly , but he forces a nod that looks more like a jerk, that was how hard he forced it. “yeah…i figured.” Luffy leans until he’s close enough to press his forehead to yours. “i promise i’ll be super careful. i promise i’ll do my best so you won’t have to see me beat up anymore—i’ll get better! i’ll get stronger! i just…”

Luffy had proclaimed so many years ago he’d be the freest man in the world. and if this was freedom for him, who were you to stop him? bitterly, you swallow back the lump in your throat, your arms falling limp next to you. slowly, they press to his chest, not to push, but to steady. you press harder to feel the warmth of his chest. Luffy winces lightly, so light you almost wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t so close.

you sigh, resigned. “if you’re gonna get beat up anyway, i’d much rather you tell me. and let me do something about this—“ you scoff a humourless laugh, looking up at him “mess.” 

Luffy deflates and re-inflates so quickly you almost don’t see the shift before he’s grabbing your shoulders and squeezing—tight, so tight there was nowhere for you to slip away to. he wraps his arms around your back, tucking his head into your shoulder and pressing his mouth there.

“i’ll come to you,” he mumbles against your clothes “i promise.” 

your arms wrap around his by instinct, and you finally allow yourself to sigh in relief, the lump in your throat melts like honey.  you both sit there, in the doorway of your crummy apartment full of memories; moving vans and balconies. bike rides and barbecues. your Luffy with his bandaged fists and the smell of antiseptic somewhere on him.

finally, you pull away when your senses return—smelling the bag of takeout still sitting there. “the food’ll get cold.” you warn quietly, joking. making no move to let him go.

with a light chuckle, Luffy responds “i don’t mind reheatin’ it.” you both giggle.

you slowly separate and it’s like the world takes its course again. Luffy brings the bag inside, kicks the door closed behind him and kicks off his shoes diligently at the doorstep. he freezes before remembering to get the placemats before placing any food on the coffee table—and you both sit in front of the tv, playing some late night show you both tune out. 

Luffy’s hand reaches for and intertwine with yours. it’s a bit hard to eat with one hand but you make do. Luffy turns to look at you, “yours looks good.” he says uselessly. you roll your eyes, squeezing his hand.

“you’re not getting my food.” 

you get a whine in response. he perches his chin onto your shoulder; because he knows how this goes anyway—you feed him a bite anyway. Luffy moans as soon as the food lands in his mouth.

“mmm—sho good,” he groans “i totally knew it.”

“no talking with your mouth full.” you chide. the boy next to you giggles, pressing a kiss to his cheek—you complain about his grease mouth, and the world takes it’s course again.

you rub at his bandaged and bruised knuckles; and trust that next time, he’ll come to you. like he always does. no more words need to be exchanged. 

a/n.: aaaaand that's part one!!! we'll see where this goes from here. i really like this and this is the first time ive written this much in a while, i hope you'll all enjoy it too!! underground fighter luffy...oh, how i crave you..</3

You’re dealing with changes. And the past you’re trying to leave behind. Your body is not handling it the way it should. All of it is catching up to you right now that you’re trying to make amends with yourself. But when you spend your whole life going after people’s lives to take them with you and exchange them for money, it’s everything but easy. Headhunting was all you knew, all your father thought you to do and to be. Through training, and words, and violence. He beat you up when you failed, locked you outside the house in sheer cold when you told him you were too sick to train, called you a failure and starved you when he caught you playing outside with other kids instead of working out. Your father was in it only for the money, but raising a little girl with only violence isn’t enough. Hatred is needed. Hatred and resentment can make a person unstoppable. Just make sure that they don't develop their own perspective on things.

And when the poster of a pirate with a 30 million bounty and a straw hat appeared in town, your father gave you a mission. Kill Monkey D. Luffy, bring back the bounty, or else your life is over. And so you followed Luffy all the way through islands and waves, attempting to kill him in cold blood. You sparred, and fought, and you got bruises and cuts and he did too, but he never, ever finished you even when he had the possibility. And vice-versa. Until one last time, you broke down crying for your life. Not the one threatened by the straw hat pirate, but the one your father sought to kill if you failed. And, instead of killing you when you were kneeling on the ground, Luffy got down and wiped your tears with a strip of his red shirt that you tore away in battle.

«Crying looks weird on you, you have kind eyes» he just said, his thick eyebrows furrowed.

Your face rose too meet his in shock, only a confused “uh” escaped from your mouth. Next thing you knew you passed out out of exhaustion and woke up on the Going Merry, inside a bed, with food by your side and your wounds bandaged.

«Luffy insisted on taking care of you, I don’t know why he would do that so don’t make any false moves» a girl with red hair, Nami, said to you soon after.

And without even realizing it, you became part of the crew. Luffy basically took you in without even asking you. At first, you would try to run away and reject his attempts spitefully. But you were too far from home as of now, and every island the Going Merry docked at in the Grand Line was life-threatening for you to deal with alone. So every time, Luffy ended up taking you back to the Merry and trying to bandage you. Trying because he was terrible at it, so Sanji or Usopp had to fix it afterwards. All the while he started asking you about your life, why you were a headhunter and after him, and if you cry often or not. All questions asked with a big grin on his face. At first, you kept your mouth shut. But then, you didn’t even know why, you started opening up to him a little, bit after bit. You told him about your resentment towards pirates, and what your dad taught you, and how, still leaving out the abuse part for now. You’re not ready. After listening, he only said.

«Your dad sounds mean, good thing we found you!» and with that, he just chuckled and walked away without questioning you even further.

That time, when you got into your room on the ship, you broke down crying as soon as you closed the door behind you. Thinking about how he smiled at everything you said, how he wiped away your tears the last time you tried to kill him, and you realized something. Luffy was the only person to show you kindness, ever.

So you stopped trying to evade. You started to reciprocate his questions, grins, and gestures. He complimented you on your smile, said that it suited you way more than tears. He repeated that you had kind eyes every time he considered it necessary. The rest of the crew grew accustomed to you, started to trust you, and you were leaving behind the life you had before. No more prejudices about pirates and which lives were worth it or not in this world. You became one yourself.

But the more you felt love towards them, the more it was harder to escape your past self. The lives you took away, the people you did wrong. It wasn’t something you really wanted to deal with, you thought that escaping would be enough. You thought that Luffy, the one boy you swore to kill to save yourself, would suffice. But then the vertigos began, along with the palpitations and the random burning in your stomach. The same things you started feeling as you spent more and more time with Luffy. Until, in Little Garden, you realized that you were in love.

Ironic, you fell in love with the one guy you were hunting down. But you couldn’t deny it anymore, and when he took you by the waist with his stretched arm to ride a dinosaur with him you accepted it. With a smile on your face, your hands latched around his waist and your cheek pressed against his back. The moment came crashing down on you when he turned around and looked at you with the most gentle smile you’ve ever seen and the deepest brown eyes. You didn’t look away, your lips parted, so close to his face and you said to yourself “yeah, I really am in love with him”.

But as soon as you accepted your love for the captain, your body started rejecting your past life even more, to the point of sickness. You didn’t want to be the person you were before, you wanted to be good, to be kind like Luffy said. But how can a former blood-lusted headhunter allow herself to forget and just go on to be a pirate? How can she forgive herself, and the abuse? Zoro too was a headhunter, and he didn’t bother that much about his past, but it was different, he had perspective. You didn’t gain it until now and it’s too much to handle so suddenly. Today, it reached the point of exhaustion, and you passed out on the deck on a sunny, calm day on the Going Merry.

You wake up a few hours after, sweaty and trembling. An ice package is carefully placed on your forehead, but your temperature is as high as ever. There’s no one else in the room, but you can hear voices outside the door.

«I just wanna check on her!» someone said.

Luffy. You recognize his voice even in febrile exhaustion.

«I just told you, you can’t Luffy! Not until I figure out what she has! We can’t risk you getting sick, or the rest of the crew» a tender, child-like voice. Chopper.

«Chopper, move» Luffy repeated.

You hear stomping, and the voices of Zoro and Usopp raising. Nami and Sanji joined soon after. More thuds and stomps, voices mixing but Luffy trying to be louder. He was clearly growing angry. The door beats a few times, you hear a struggling noise and restraining.

«Luffy…» you whisper under your breath.

But before you can even try to get up, your head falls back and your eyes flutter close again.

It’s night now. Pale moonlight softly envelopes the room, and you can hear the calming sound of waves crashing against the Merry. The ship is decked, it’s not moving. And you feel warmer than before, but not because of the fever, even though you still feel sick to the core. It’s because someone is cuddled next to you. When he notices your open eyes, a relaxed and joyful smile extends on his tan face. Your heart skips one or two beats.

«Luffy?» you would’ve jolted, normally, but you’re too weak to do anything more than whisper his name, vaguely confused.

Maybe it was an hallucination. Are you really that down bad for him? But not, by the tender touch of his hand on your waist under the covers and the tickling of his black curls against your cheek, he’s very real.

«Hey, you’re awake!» he whispers, but with a note of evident excitement «how do you feel?»

As you try to collect your thoughts, your worries have the best on the butterflies that bloomed in your stomach due to his proximity. Luffy was cuddled up next to you in your bed, one hand carefully on your waist and one between your hair, caressing them slowly.

«Luffy, you know that I’m sick right-»

«Don’t worry! We decked not long ago and Chopper and the others went to find some medical herbs, you’ll get better I promise»

«That’s not the point, you could get sick too we don’t know what I have yet! It could be viral!» you try to protest.

But the captain doesn’t flinch. His smile doesn’t even falter in the slightest.

«While the others are out searching for meds my duty is to check on you. You were trembling lots, so I’m doing my job perfectly fine!» he replied.

In reality, things went a bit differently. That afternoon Luffy had a big fight with the rest of the crew, because he insisted on seeing you so hard that he had to be physically restrained. Which wasn’t an easy job, even with a transformed Chopper and Zoro’s muscles. He was worried sick about you. Even when Nami got sick he was preoccupied and willing to climb a snowy mountain bare handed for her, but with you it was visceral. Since Luffy was so agitated, they came up with a compromise. Everyone will go out to find medicines on the next island, and Luffy could stay with you on the Merry to check on you, but absolutely no touching. He could sit next to you, bring you food and water if needed and give the crew a signal for an emergency, but no physical touch. And there he is, cuddled up with you.

«You could’ve just brought me an extra blanket…» you murmur.

«Do you want one?»

He asks you innocently. It’s his way of asking you if you’re uncomfortable with him so close, but you don’t want to let go. So you just don’t answer, and silence falls in the cabin. The only sounds audible are the waves pleasantly crashing against the nearby shore, and your breathing. You try to make yours as steady as possible.

After a few minutes, one of your hands travels up his arm. Your other hand moves to touch his face, the tip of your fingers caressing his face, grazing his nose, his left eyebrow, carefully tracing the scar under his eyes. And then between his locs, rhythmically stroking his hair, paying attention not to move his straw hat. No one dares to say a word, until he breaks the silence.

«’s nice…» he says softly, content.

You can’t see his face very well in the moonlit room, but you know that if you just moved your face a little, you could easily kiss him. The idea that he might reciprocate doesn’t sound even that absurd as of now.

But instead of daring to do so, you tear up.

«Why are you like this?» you ask, voice breaking.

Luffy comically frowns and lets out a confused “uh?”.

«What do you mean?»

«I said» a sob escapes your lips «why are you like this? With me? Why are you so nice to me?»

He doesn’t understand where this conversation’s going, at all. He’s dense about it.

«Why shouldn’t I be?» he repeats, still genuinely confused.

«Because I’m a bad person, Luffy!» you snap, raising your voice. The hand that was stroking Luffy’s hair is now covering your tearful eyes.

«That’s not even true!» he shakes his head, raising his voice back a little.

«Oh for fucks sake Luffy. I hunted you down for months, killed pirates mercilessly since I was a little kid, took away so many lives. And now? I become a pirate myself and act like my life was never that way? As if nothing happened? The more I spend time with you guys, the nicer you are with me, especially you, the more I refuse to accept it and I end up in this state. I’m so tired!»

One of your hands grips your hair almost painfully, your palm wet with tears. For a couple of minutes, Luffy doesn’t say anything. He lets you cry quietly, not moving a muscle. After a while, he talks again

«It’s not your fault» he says, calmly.

You don’t say anything. So Luffy repeats himself.

«I’ll say it again. It’s not your fault. People sometimes do things because they don’t know any better. All you knew was killing pirates for money and well, all I knew my life was that I wanted to be one. But I’m learning. The world is made of headhunters, thieves, liars, doctors, princesses and cooks. And these people can be kind, like you»

«How can you be so confident about me being kind?» you ask him.

«Because my gut knows, and I always trust my gut» he says.

You can make out the shape of his smile, his beautiful and ever beaming smile. Only now you realize that he stopped grinning when he said those things to you.

As you let out a few more tears, Luffy does something he never did for you. He reaches for his straw hat, takes it, and places it on your head. You jolt a bit, surprised.

«Listen, no matter what, it’s time for you to choose how you wanna live your life. It’s not up to your dad to tell you, or…me. If you wanna stay with us, this is your home. But if you want to go on another path, it’s only up to you. I just want you to be happy, okay? It’s important. Because I mean it when I say that tears don’t suit you»

His smile is faltering again. You bite your lower lip, attempting to stop your sobs.

«If I decided to leave the crew, would you be sad?»

He doesn’t answer for a while, his smile is gone now. He tries to hide it by burying half of his face in your shoulder.

«I just told you, you have to chose for yourself»

«I want to stay, Luffy»

He hugs you a bit tighter now, his legs tangled in yours, and your silhouettes mixing in the dark, undistinguishable from one another. He’s smiling again.

«Good, because otherwise yeah, I would’ve been very sad about it»

Sheets rustle, and Luffy is now moving. He props himself up to take a better look at your face, moving a strand of hair away from your forehead. Then, he kisses your cheek right on the spot your tears ran down on the most. And then he kisses the corner of your mouth, and your temple, and your forehead.

«’s this okay?» he asks in a hushed tone.

Feeling your heart stuck in your throat, you nod frantically.

Luffy keeps on kissing your face everywhere, delicately, weirdly so for a guy like him. Never on your lips, but everywhere his kisses needed to be.

«But if you want to stay, you have to let us, and me especially, be kind to you. Alright? Because I think you’re kind, funny, nice to be around and that you have nice eyes. ‘mkay?» he casually says, in between kisses. Your eyelids flutter close and he places a kiss on your right one too, before stopping to let you answer. You realize that your tears stopped running and that your temperature feels lower now.

«Okay, I’ll let you be nice to me. And I’ll stay» you whisper.

You allow yourself to kiss him on his forehead, then between his dark hair, and then right under the scar under his brown eyes.

The next morning, the crew found you two soundly asleep, still cuddled up. Most shockingly, you had Luffy’s hat sitting on your head. Sanji let out a sigh and a chuckle soon after, Zoro looked away and Nami groaned. Usopp covered his eyes, mistaking the situation for something a bit different, while Vivi reassured him that you and Luffy did not just have sex.

Meanwhile, Chopper had his hooves gripping his antlers, letting out a small screech.

«Luffy! Get out, now!» he shouted.

Both of you jumped awake, you barely had time to open your eyes before Chopper transformed and yanked Luffy out of your bed, dragging him outside the cabin as he tried to explain himself. You couldn’t help but chuckle.

A stress-induced flu, that’s what Chopper diagnosed you with soon after giving you the proper medications. And with time, the vertigos and palpitations slowly started to disappear. And if they happened to come back, Luffy always knew, and he would cuddle up with you in bed just like that night.

The man smiled at you bashfully, the edges of his ears tinged with red. Ah so that’s why Nami wanted you to come over. You gave her a look to show you didn’t much appreciate being used to charm information but she ignored you.

“Potentially,” he said. “It’s normally not a story I would share but as the Straw Hats assisted us with so much, I suppose I could tell it.”

“Stories always have some truth,” you answered.

Though you had very little time to get a proper answer about what he was talking about before the familiar snapping sound of rubber caught your attention. You turned your head to find Luffy at your side, so close you almost brushed your nose against his.

“Hello Captain,” you said. “Can I help you?”

Luffy, to his credit, moved a little out of your space then with a laugh. He swiped some food from your plate with no subtlety. “Just wanted to see what you were up to,” he said. “What are we talking about?”

The man from before looked a little confused at Luffy’s sudden appearance so close to you. His gaze flickered between you and your captain for a second before his thoughts were interrupted by Nami.

“Ignore him,” she said. “He gets jealous. Please keep sharing what you know about this treasure.”

“I’m not jealous,” Luffy protested. “We’re talking about treasure?”

“And here I thought Usopp was the worst liar on the crew,” she muttered. “There are a few rumours we can maybe look into.”

Luffy leaned heavily against your side, swiping just about everything off your plate. You watched your food disappear and sighed, moving it closer to him. You were used to his weight at this point; it was hard not to be when he was always leaning against you, one arm wrapped around your shoulders and his voice loud in your ear.

“We should go on an adventure and find some treasure then,” he said with a nod.

You rolled your eyes and caught his hand before he could eat the last slice of your fruit. You gave him a look. Luffy’s gaze flicked between you and the slice before he pouted and dropped it.

“Thank you,” you said. “There’s plenty for you to get your own.”

“Tastes better when it’s on your plate though.”

The man across from you cleared his throat and you glanced back to him. “It is just a story,” he said. “I’m not certain there’s anything more to it but it’s been spoken about since I was a boy. There aren’t many details but – “

Luffy’s hand came up without warning, nudging your chin back toward him. “Hey,” he said, like you’d forgotten he was there. “This is boring. Nami can listen. Come on, you need to get more food.”

“That’s because you ate all of mine,” you protested but you allowed him to practically drag you away from the unwanted conversation.

You waved at a very unimpressed Nami who was still trying to dig for information even as the man watched after you. Luffy’s arm stayed wrapped around you for the rest of the night though, even as the party stretched later and later and he began to fall asleep with his head rested against your shoulder.

The headache sadly didn’t go away and you eventually nudged him up. “I’m going to take a quick shower,” you said. “I have a headache. Don’t get too sad while I’m away.”

“I won’t,” he muttered, his head lolling forward now instead.

It felt wrong, almost, to step back onto the Sunny while the party still roared on the shore. The music dulled the moment your feet hit the deck, fading into something distant and muffled, replaced by the quiet creak of wood and the slow sway of the ship beneath you. You exhaled, tension easing as the noise slipped away.

Cool water spilled over you the moment you stepped under the shower, running in steady streams down your body and over the back of your neck. You tipped your head back, letting it drum softly against your skin, washing away the lingering pain of the headache.

And when you stepped out, you found Luffy sitting on your bed, legs crossed and waiting in a manner that almost reminded you of a puppy.

“Something wrong, Captain?” you asked, thankful that you’d taken your clothes into the bathroom with you (mainly as a result of this happening far too often).

Strangely though, instead of just giving you a no, he looked almost contemplative. He shifted slightly, hands braced against the mattress as he leaned forward. “Nope. You were gone for a while. That guy was too. Didn’t want him bothering you.”

“Why would he bother me?” you asked.

“Because he likes you.”

You had thought so too but it had felt a little presumptive to say as much. You lay down on your bed, stretching your legs out in front of you. “I’m just cooling off,” you said. “It’s been a very long day.”

He spun around to continue facing you. “Mm. You didn’t get hurt though.”

“Thanks to you.”

Luffy tilted his head curiously at you and you smiled at him. “Nami always says I’m jealous of you. Am I?”

“Maybe not of me,” you said. “But of other people around me, definitely.”

It was impossible to ignore. You’d thought it to be something different at first but as time went on and Luffy interrupted more and more things, you couldn’t deny Nami’s claims. Still, you hadn’t expected to talk with him about it.

He hummed, low and thoughtful, but didn’t respond straight away. The quiet stretched for a moment, broken only by the distant echo of music still drifting faintly from the shore.

“I don’t know,” he hummed. “I just don’t like it when other people steal you from me. You’re supposed to be with me.”

“Mm, that, my dear captain, sounds like jealousy,” you said, lightly tapping him on the nose. “You don’t like it when I don’t pay attention to you, right?”

“Obviously.”

He said it like it was the simplest thing in the world; as though it didn’t set your heart fluttering faster than ever. You swallowed, trying to calm yourself because it was Luffy. He didn’t always mean for things to sound the way they did.  

“Then you’re jealous,” you summerised. “You’re not bothered when Nami or Zoro are busy with other people.”

“Well, that’s different.”

“How?”

“Because I don’t like them like I like you.”

You gave a small laugh, a short and disbelieving sound. You sat up properly and leaned closer until your nose lightly touched his. He scrunched his own in response and smiled, comfortable in being so near you. It had taken you a while to get used to proximity but Luffy never worried about things like personal space so you didn’t either.

“And how do you like me, Captain?”

Luffy leaned forward to rest his forehead against your own. Your breath caught but his smile was relaxed as ever.

“You know,” he said. “Everybody does.”

Your composure shattered in a second. You swore your heart just about stopped in your chest as you stared at him. He didn’t break eye contact, his grin still easy and you were very aware of his breath against your lips.

“I do?” you eventually managed to say.

“Well, yeah,” he said. “Like this.”

He closed the distance before you could react, and pressed his lips against yours in a simple, unhurried way.

It took you a second to catch up, but when you did, something in your chest loosened. A soft, almost disbelieving laugh slipped out against his mouth as you leaned into him, hands lifting to cradle his face, fingers brushing warm skin..

When you pulled away, Luffy laughed and his joy flowed straight into your veins. “If being jealous means that I don’t want other people to do that with you, then I guess I am.”

You chuckled. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to kiss anybody else.”

Fists clenched at your sides, you storm up to the front of the hall, staring intently at the Dean. You knew your odds were better pleading with Dr. Gaul, but that was a task far from your mind. "Miss Y/L/N, I don't have time for your petty complaints at the moment." He dismisses you before you even reach an appropriate distance to start your discussion.

"I was waiting for this." Festus chuckles, commenting on how none of the chosen mentors had a chance to process anything or even speak before you were stomping down the centre aisle, between all their seats, and up towards the podium where Dean Highbottom now stood.

Coriolanus found his gaze following you, despite his better judgment telling him to focus on the subject- scratch that, problem, at hand: his assignment of the mentorship of Lucy Gray Baird. She was fiery, that's for sure, and upon first impressions, she reminded him of you.

"You think I couldn't handle it, is that it?" You almost shout, discarding all formality in favour of getting answers. 

"You knew the qualifications, Miss Y/L/N." The Dean sighs.

"I got one B over a year ago! God, hold a grudge much? You're miserable!" People are staring now, noticeably, but you don't care. You're used to getting what you want, and the one time you don't, it comes back to bite you in the ass over a year later.

"Then you should have done better. Drop this or I'll demerit you." He states in response, clearly hardly caring. You huff, face red as you storm off again, making a point of slamming the door open so hard it hits the wall with a bang.

Coriolanus never understood fully why the Dean let you parade around with this attitude directed at him, but never so much as lifted a finger to punish you. If he had made a scene like that, he would have been expelled on the spot. "I should go after her." He turns to look at Sejanus as he's getting up, quickly gathering himself to follow after you. He had little interest in staying anyway.

"I'll go." Coriolanus stands, placing his hand on Sejanus' chest to stop him. "You stay. I'll sort her out."

"Coriolanus Snow, off to sedate his girlfriend again." Arachne teases as he walks off, leaving Sejanus to defend his name in his stead. He'd much prefer talking you down to uselessly explaining to the other kids in your class that the two of you were nothing more than friends. It was a wasteful endeavour. You were just the only one who's presence he could stand in a social capacity.

You made it outside, pacing the large front steps of the academy, fighting the urge to rip off your skirt and burn it right there. Along with the rest of the building.

"Y/N." You pause when you hear the door close behind someone, looking up to see your friend.

"Coryo." You reply, continuing with your fruitless crusade at this point.

"What happened to not caring about the prize?" He asks, stepping down so he's level with you on the staircase, getting in your path so you can no longer pace.

"I don't care about the prize." You grumble, crossing your arms over your chest. "It's not about that."

"I doubt that." Coriolanus raises an eyebrow at you. You had told him at length you didn't care about the prize when you found out you weren't even in the running, because your parents could pay your tuition anyway. He envied your privilege, but he had never envied you.

"No, it's not." You insist. "I got one less than stellar grade one time and now I'm missing out on this opportunity- effectively throwing away any shot I have at Gamemaker."

"That's dramatic." Your friend replies. "I think you're better off than me."

You scoff. "Oh, boo hoo, Coriolanus Snow. I'd take Lucy Gray in a second."

"Just because she can cause a scene doesn't mean she'll last a minute in the games." He replies.

"Duh, it's not about winning. It's about the experience, it's about-"

"Being on TV?" He asks, and despite his serious expression you know it's a joke.

"Even you know I'm not that shallow. I'm not Arachne." You can't help but smile. He does too, for just a second. "And frankly, I'm offended at the insinuation."

"Then enlighten me, Y/N Y/L/N." Coriolanus prompts, and suddenly your demeanor changes in a way he would deem hardly noticeable if he hadn't known you for years.

You sigh, dropping your tense shoulders. "My father will be up in arms when he finds out." You answer, voice in a whisper despite being alone out here. "I'm an embarrassment to my family name."

"That's impossible." He shakes his head quickly. "You're their pride and joy. A gem of the Capitol."

"Ah, but for how long?" You reply, poking his chest. "Until the oldest Y/L/N child doesn't get a mentorship? Until my brother does in three years and I am an irrelevant face in the University halls and he is winning the Plinth prize?" The small smile on your face fades as you look down, thinking over the consequences for the first time.

"Perhaps, but one day that will come back to bite anyone who doubted you when you're the new head Gamemaker. I'll be sure of it." He nods, and your smile returns. 

"Coriolanus Snow, future President of Panem, I salute you." You giggle, raising your hand in a salute. You had heard his cousin say that to him once, two or three years ago by now, and you were not prepared to let it go. You can tell it was something he believed, despite the misshapen buttons on his dress shirt and the weight he'd steadily lost over all the years you'd known him. Who were you to deny him his ambitions? Everyone else was fooled, so you would act as though you were as well. The same way he had habitually ignored the bruises on your arms and under your makeup the day after you brought home that B grade last year.

He just nods in response, jokingly tugging at his vest in pride. 

"I hate to tell you that I will have to decline your generous offer." You say, and he looks confused. "I don't need your charity. I'll make it so you'd be a fool not to hire me, Mister President."

You sit down on the stairs, looking out at the city. He joins you a moment later, dusting off the ground beneath him before letting his clothes touch the surface.

"So, how are you feeling?" You ask, sick now of talking about yourself.

"Honestly, not great." Coriolanus answers. "She'll be first down, and I'll be out. We're about at odds with each other, I have no shot at the prize now."

"I don't know, Coryo." You smile a little, bumping his shoulder with your own as you try to reassure him. "Lucy Gray has a or two fight in her. I can tell."

"She reminds me of you, a little bit." 

"Is that a bad thing?" You chuckle.

"No." He shakes his head. "You never back down from a fight. Even if you should."

You laugh, turning a little to hide the burning in your cheeks. "I suppose I could see the resemblance. I'm no stranger to telling someone to kiss my ass."

"That's true." He nods, smiling but not quite laughing. You're not sure you could remember seeing him laugh, not since Felix fell down the stairs in the lecture hall a few years ago and screamed like a girl. "Maybe you could help me."

"Help you? How?" You ask, brow furrowed as you look over at him. Whatever it is you'll agree. He knows too much about you for you to deny him anyway, and it's not like you really had anything to lose. If you couldn't have the Plinth prize, you'd want it to go to Coriolanus.

"With Lucy Gray. I don't even know where to start, what to think, what to do." He explains.

"Well..." You think about it for a second. "If you want her to listen to you in any capacity, she'll have to trust you. So be nice. And maybe convince her to sing again. People were talking, that's what you want. It's the best you can do."

He nods, sitting up straighter. "Thank you, Y/N. I have to go." Before you can respond, he's gone back into the building behind you. You sigh, calmer now, despite dreading the prospective task of having to go home and face your father.

"Mister Snow, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Dr. Gaul asks, readjusting her gloves without looking up at the boy as she throws what he assumes to be some kind of food into a blacked-out tank in front of him.

"I'd like Y/N Y/L/N to be my partner in the mentorship," Coriolanus states, making her pause.

"Why?" She asks simply, resuming her task.

"I believe she would be an asset for Lucy Gray."

"They do have a similar... spark. Don't they?" Dr. Gaul nods a little bit to herself. "But what makes you think that this wouldn't be an unfair advantage?"

"It wouldn't be an advantage. More like an experiment." He answers, effectively piquing the doctor's interest. "We can observe the benefits and faults of two mentors versus one, moving into the next games, and the effect of choosing based on compatibility, rather than random, careless selection."

Dr. Gaul hums, wiping off her leather gloves with a cloth as she thinks it over. "And this would have nothing to do with your relationship and sympathies towards Miss Y/L/N, correct?"

"No." He shakes his head. "Miss Y/L/N certainly doesn't get any sympathy from me." It's not a lie, at least he doesn't perceive it to be. You would be an asset to his cause, to his deliverance of the prize, and likely the most pleasant person to work with, ironically.

"I will think about it." Dr. Gaul states. "But the prize will not be awarded to her in any capacity, you must understand."

Maybe he does feel bad for you. He's entitled to that prize, no doubt, but it's hard to picture a world where you wouldn't be the runner-up; even if that is his reality. "I understand." He nods, before turning to leave.

"Oh, and Mister Snow." Dr. Gaul draws his attention once more, causing him to stop and look back at her. "Don't let her charm you."

"Y/N!" You look up from your textbook toward the door, knowing your brother will be opening it any second after he calls you. Surely enough, he does. "Coriolanus Snow is here. He wants to speak with you."

"Can you show him up to the library?" You ask, quickly wiping your reddened eyes.

"He's there with dad already." Your brother tells you and you sniff, nodding a little bit. "Thank you. Tell them I'll be right there."

You quickly throw on a sweater, double-checking in the mirror that you don't look like you were just crying before leaving. Besides a little bit of redness around your eyes and blotchiness on your chest covered by the sweater, you should be okay.

"Well, thank you for extending your influence on my daughter's behalf. I owe you a great deal." You hear your dad speaking from down the hall as you get closer. "Though, I wouldn't fault you if you changed your mind. I understand she will be a burden on you."

"No, sir. It would be an honour to work with her." You hear Coryo say as you step into the door frame. 

You knock gently on the open door, alerting them both of your presence. "Y/N." Your father says, nodding toward your friend. "Coriolanus has pulled some strings to try and help you maintain what's left of your reputation."

You sniff and nod, looking over at Coryo as he stands across from your dad in your library, posture perfect like a soldier standing at attention. His professionalism will always impress you, it never falters in the presence of others. "Thank you." You make an effort to smile at him, which he politely and uncomfortably returns. "Could you give us a moment?" You request, returning your attention to your dad.

He nods and shakes Coryo's hand before bumping into you as he exits the room, pausing before leaning down to whisper to you.

Coriolanus watches, your eyes widening for just a moment while your dad speaks to you and then you nod, thanking him quietly before he leaves. You stand there awkwardly staring at each other for a second while you listen to his footsteps descend the stairs, and then hear the door to his study close. As soon as it does, you're quickly walking up to your friend and throwing your arms around his waist, your head leaning into his chest.

He freezes for a second before hugging you back. "Thank you, Coryo." You whisper. "I won't let you down."

"Are you okay?" He asks, resisting the urge to just rest his chin on the top of your head and pull you closer. It's been ages since he's been hugged like this, and though it's meant more as a comfort to you, it's consolatory to him as well.

You nod, snapping out of it and quickly pulling away, taking a respectful step back. "Yeah, yes. Sorry." You clear your throat, quickly readjusting your sweater.

"Don't be." He shakes his head quickly, brows still furrowed as he looks you over. He doesn't know what you came home to, but he has a strong theory as to what the cause of your tear-stained cheeks could be, and it certainly wasn't an empty fridge like his. 

You stare at each other for another moment before you look away. "Uh, so, you spoke to the Dean?"

"No, he despises me." He answers. "Dr. Gaul was more sympathetic to the cause."

"Dr. Gaul and 'sympathetic' have never been used in the same sentence before." You tease.

"Well, she likes us for some reason."

"Thank god." You chuckle, slightly shaking your head.

"But... seriously, are you okay?" He asks again, this time blatantly looking you over. While embarrassing, it does feel nice to see that someone cares, that someone noticed. The remnants of pity behind his eyes makes you almost ill.

"Fine." You nod in confirmation. "Would you like something to eat?" You offer, leveling the playing field.

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