Fun Fan

Using the tag list, I used in the original post

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Six Of One - drabble request.

"Okay darling, now all the dry ingredients are mixed we need to add the eggs. Can you crack two into the bowl like Mummy showed you?" He nodded before carefully going about his task, concentrating so hard that his tongue poked out from one corner of his mouth. How she adored him. "Clever boy! Now, hold one side of the bowl and fold everything together, then we can add the chocolate chips." His little eyes went wide and he quickly but carefully did as he was told.

"Oooh are you making cookies?!" Henry strode into the kitchen looking windblown and smelling of rain.

"Quick, Daddy here, hide bowl!" She chuckled and gently maneuvered it back onto the breakfast counter.

"Fear not, Daddy's just going to try a little bit--" he made for the mixing spoon.

"No! Mummy say that for me!" Henry's mouth fell open.

"What?! Even after all my hard work in the garden?!" Her head flicked between them both.

"Boys, there's enough for you both to have a little bit--"

"No! Daddy eat all of it and then we have no dough!"

"No, he won't…" Though she had to take the spoon off of Henry to stop him from going in for another mouthful. "Here, darling, your turn." She cleaned the spoon and scooped up some dough for their son.

"Hey, that's more than I was allowed!"

"Yeah, well, he's a growing boy--"

"But I need to refuel!" She closed her eyes and counted to ten, only for their son to shriek.

"Quick, mummy! He got the choccy chips!" She dashed after him and only just snatched them back in time. "Naughty daddy! You go on naughty step!" Henry giggled but turned to see her staring up at him expectantly, both hands on hips.

"Oh, you can't be serious, I didn't even have any!"

"Daddy, you're on time out, now go." She nodded towards the hallway but he folded his arms.

"Oh yeah? For how long?!" Her eyes twinkled.

"Well, it's usually a minute for every year of your age but seeing as you're a tad sensitive about that, let's just round it up to an hour." Henry's mouth fell open again.

"An hour? Sitting on the bottom step?!" She pursed her lips and whipped the phone out of his back pocket. "Hey, I need that to tell the time!"

"I'll tell you when your time's up--"

"But can’t I at least take a book if I'm not allowed my phone?!"

"No--"

"Will you leave the TV on then?! I'll miss the rugby!"

"Daddy, you either go and sit on that step right now, or you get no cookies--"

"How's that fair?! Hey, he's eating more dough!" She turned around to find their son trying to line some baking trays and nothing more.

"Mummy, quick, he getting away!" She spun back and dashed from the kitchen. But Henry was too quick and by the time she reached him, he was plonked leisurely against the bottom of the staircase, scooping chocolate chips into his mouth by the handful.

"Right, that's two hours, now give those back--"

"Worth it," he shrugged before whipping the bag high out of her reach. "Hang on, I'm not finished!"

"Henry, by the time you are there'll be none left!"

"Oh, stop it! You're just mad cos I'm not giving you any…" Her nostrils flared and she grabbed an umbrella from the coat stand. "Heading out are ya? Don't forget, we need more chocolate…" She bit her lip, trying not to smile.

"Henry, this is your last chance, give me them to me right now."

"Or what?" Henry smirked as he stretched his legs out further, getting comfortable.

"Well, for one, I'll stick this umbrella somewhere you'll always be able to find it--"

"You can go ahead and open it as well, but you're not having the chips back till I'm done." He shrugged and carried on chewing.

"Darling, come on, this isn't fair to our boy…"

"Yeah, well, it wasn't fair of you to give him more dough but you did--"

"Oh my God, do you even hear yourself?!" But Henry's mouth formed a pout.

"You know it's true! You're always nicer to him--"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are! I just spent two hours clearing the garden and didn't even get a thank you!" She gritted her teeth.

"Well, I hardly got the chance before the eruption of the great dough war! And I can't believe you're jealous of your own son--"

"I'm not jealous! It's just…" He sighed and put the bag down, not knowing quite how to continue. Her heart ached and she gently kneeled beside him.

"Look, I… know it's hard sharing me sometimes--"

"It's not about that!" She took a breath and continued.

"But there's really no need for you to worry. You were precious to me before he came along, and after giving us such a wonderful little boy, you're even more so now. I'll always be proud of you and grateful for everything you do for us. Okay, darling?" Henry sniffed and nodded, swallowing back a tear or two. She got to her feet, wrapped her arms around him, and kissed the top of his head.

"Do I still have to sit here though?" She pulled away and looked at her watch.

"Well, you've already done twenty minutes and you've managed to leave me some chocolate so… this time we'll call it even." Henry jumped to his feet and yanked her back into his arms.

"You gunna come upstairs when you're done and watch the rugby with me?" He winked suggesting something else entirely.

"Well… I can see if his grandparents will take him for the afternoon. Though they might need something to sweeten the deal--" Henry marched her straight back into the kitchen and the three of them made enough cookies to fill a bakery.

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The Kicker - oneshot.

"Darling, it's lunchtime… what are you doing?" She was standing by the bed, leaning over what looked like a bundle of cloth.

"Ugh, I can't get it right no matter what I try!" Henry came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"It just takes practise love, that's all. Here let me show you…" He took the blanket apart and correctly swaddled the baby doll they'd been given as a training tool by their midwife.

"How did you do that?"

"Well, you've got to be confident and use a quick sweeping motion, like wrapping a burrito--"

"Well no wonder you can do it! Here let me have another go…" Henry passed her the bundled-up doll but try as she might, the blanket kept unravelling. She sighed. "Oh, it's hopeless. If I can't even swaddle them correctly… what else am I going to get wrong?" She slumped down on the edge of the bed, defeated.

"Oh, darling! Sometimes it takes a while to get the hang of these things--"

"But it should be coming as naturally to me as it is to you!"

"It's a learning process--"

"What if I can't hold them correctly? Or feed them properly?"

"Don't you think you're catastrophising a little bit? Why are you all of a sudden afraid that nothing will go right?"

"Because this still doesn't even feel real and I'm scared I won't be prepared enough when they're actually here!" Henry took a seat beside her and placed a hand gently on her knee.

"But it won't feel fully real until they're here, that's the point. And we can never be one hundred percent prepared, that's just not how it works--"

"You don't understand, I feel like I'm not bonding with them. What happens if I don't love them when they're born? What if they don't love me?!" She buried her head in her hands and sobbed. He took her in his arms.

"Oh, my Ollie wally! Don't be daft, of course you'll love them and they'll love you. What you're feeling at the moment is just pre-baby jitters because they'll be here soon. It's completely normal to start second-guessing everything, especially as the pregnancy's not been straightforward. But you're still doing wonderfully, they're growing well, and everything's been arranged--"

"But we've still got so much to do!"

"Darling, it will all come together, and remember, new parents learn as they go. We're not going to get everything right straight away--"

"And what if I don't feel like me anymore? Becoming a mother isn't the same as becoming a father…"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm worried that once the baby's here they'll be the only thing my life revolves around… I don’t want to lose my identity."

"Well, at first it might feel a bit like that. But remember, any time you want a break or need time to yourself, all you have to do is ask--"

"But what if it's not enough? What if I love my child but hate being a mum? That's a possibility as well you know--"

"Maybe but I don't think so. You're the kindest, most loving person I've ever known, Ollie. Just look at how well you take care of our family already. You have so much to give. And yes, our lives will change, but everyone I've spoken to describes parenthood as like finding a piece of themselves they didn't know was missing."

"… I'm just scared it won't be what we wanted."

"Perhaps it won't be, but there's every chance it'll be even better than we'd hoped. Okay, there'll be low points, but there'll also be really wonderful moments we wouldn't trade for the world."

"What if we're never the same though? A lot of relationships never recover from having children--"

"Now that definitely won't happen, sweetheart. Every day I manage to fall more in love with you. I can't wait to watch you become a mum. If you're half as good to our child as you are to me then they'll be very lucky indeed."

"I just don't know how you can be so sure of everything…" Henry shrugged and smiled.

"It's because I have faith in us. We're good people Ollie, we're surrounded by good people and we're going into this with our eyes open. Of course it's not going to be easy, but so long as we have each other, there's very little we can't do."

"… I love you."

"I love you, sweetheart. Please try not to worry so much, okay? Come on, let's see you try swaddling again." She stood up, turned to face the bed, and took a deep breath. That time, however, she wrapped the blanket a bit too tight causing the doll's head to pop off and rolled down the bed. "Well, I suppose there's always a possibility that could happen as well."

"Henry, this isn't funny! I have to know how to wrap up our baby, preferably without beheading it!" He tried to retrieve the head off the floor but unfortunately, Kal had already made a beeline for it. Henry, Kal, and Copper then began playing a spirited game of tug of war. "Oh great, the dogs now think the baby's a chew toy! Can't you see how unprepared we are?!" He chuckled as he managed to distract Kal long enough to remove the head from his mouth. All he had to then was get Copper to let go.

"Don't be silly, a real baby's head wouldn't have come off so easily!" She managed to snatch it from Copper’s mouth and thwack Henry on the chest with it.

"This isn't a joke! We've also got to return this doll intact, what the hell are we going to say if we can't get the head back on?!"

"You need to use a twisting motion…"

"And just how do you know that?" He pursed his lips.

"Uh, you know when I practised putting it in the car seat?" Her eyes narrowed. "Well, I sort of plonked it down a bit too hard and the head pinged off…" A grin spread across her face.

"You mean to tell me you decapitated the baby first?!"

"Just once! It was tough getting it into the car seat--"

"So, wait, hang on. Are you saying that you, Henry Poppins, are completely useless?"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far…"

"Oh no? Cos I can see a couple of old scuff marks as well. You didn't drop the doll at any point, did you?" Henry sniffed hard. "Oh, my God! Here's me feeling terrible when you're even worse! Come on, let's see you put a nappy on them…" She pulled a basket off a shelf containing said nappies and a bottle of talc. He swallowed.

"… Piece of piss." Henry then began fiddling with the tabs while she leaned in for a closer look.

"That's the wrong way, shit's supposed to come out the back, not the front!"

"Fine, I showed you how to swaddle so you tell me which way this bloody thing's supposed to go on!" She put it on the correct way, motioning for him to hand her the talc. Suddenly, a huge cloud puffed over them both.

"Oh God, it's gone everywhere! Did you break the lid opening it?!"

"No, I bloody didn't! It must have been broken already," but he hardly got a chance to find out. Copper had jumped up onto the bed and grabbed hold of it, convinced it was another game.

"Quick! Before she chews or swallows any of it!" But just as she cried out, Kal yanked the doll off the bed and began shaking it back and forth. "Oh my God, give that back you little bollocks! Henry! Oh fucking hell, it'll look like it's been run over--"

"Ollie, stay back, You can't run after them--" Ten hair-raising minutes went by as Henry attempted to get the dogs to drop both the doll and bottle of talc. But the latter had gone everywhere and by the time he finally snatched it away, the room was filled with a fog there was so much powder in the air.

"For fuck's fucking sake! This is going to take hours to clean--"

"It's not my fault, you wanted me to show you how to put on a nappy!"

"Well, if you think I'm clearing this up all by myself you've got another thing coming! Bring up the hoover then go take the dogs for a bath--"

"Yes, m'lady, anything else?"

"Yeah, bring me up a cup of tea, strip the linen and when I'm done you can mop the floors!" He swallowed.

"Well I don't know why you were so worried about raising a kid, you boss me about well enough!" She grabbed the bottle of talc and squeezed the last of it straight into Henry's face. Abruptly, she seized her stomach.

"Oh…"

"What is it? Are you alright?!" He swept the talc out of his eyes and dashed to her side. Henry could see the shock in her eyes and his heart began thumping away.

"The baby… it just kicked!"

"What?!"

"Here, feel for yourself…" She placed his hand around the side of her stomach. A few moments passed and Henry's hope faded. But then he felt it.

"… Wow," he mouthed as his eyes filled with tears. "That's our baby!" They laughed and grinned at each other. Everything fell into place.

"You know I don't know what I was so worried about, it definitely feels real now!" Henry held her tight.

"I love you, darling," he placed a kiss on her lips. "And I love you too…" As if on cue, the baby kicked again.

"I'm not sure the feeling's mutual!" Henry harrumphed.

"Well that's just fine, I still love you both! God, I can't wait to meet them."

"… You know, I never really thanked you."

"For what?"

"For everything. For making me a mother, for doing all that you do for us. It's thanks to you that we're getting excellent care, and have a safe, loving home… none of this would have happened without you."

"Oh darling, it's me who should be giving thanks. I know pregnancy hasn't been easy for you and I'll never be able to repay the sacrifice you're making for the three of us. But please know I'm here - I won't let either of you down." She smiled and kissed him on the lips.

"I know. And if all goes well with this one," she rubbed the underside of her stomach, "maybe in time we can have--" Henry's mouth fell open.

"You mean it?!" She nodded which led him to take a step back so he could leap into the air and cheer. "Oh my God, OH MY GOD! I'd love another! Are you sure though?! Two babies will mean twice the work--"

"Thrice you mean, there's you as well…" He rolled his eyes. "But I know with you by my side we can do it. Just give me time to recover and settle this one into a routine…"

"Ha, I knew you'd come round to more! You watch, I bet we'll end up with enough for a five-aside team!" She scoffed.

"I think fucking not! Two will be plenty, thanks. I have my poor body to think of, not to mention my bloody patience. After all, you were my first--" Henry clucked his tongue.

"Well, then you should be well-versed! Can you imagine if we have one of each?!"

"Mmm, let's get this pregnancy over with first, though. We might find one more than enough."

"Nah, I can see a whole brood toddling around the place!"

"Oh God, what can of worms have I opened?"

"Hey, at least you'll have mastered swaddling by then!" He shot her a wink but she sighed.

"I think that'll have to be left to you I'm afraid…"

"Does that mean you'll be doing all the nappies then?" Her eyebrows shot up.

"Definitely not! How's that a fair trade-off?!" Henry tutted.

"Typical. Why is it I always end up elbows deep in shit?!"

"Cos you never shut your gob!" They laughed and shared another kiss.

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Bump In The Road - oneshot.

The sun beat down through the windscreen, casting a golden haze around the passengers in front. The drive back had been silent though Henry was eager to break the tension. "Look, I know that didn't quite go as expected. But remember, our baby's doing well and as we're aware of it now, we just have to follow the precautions." Ollie remained quiet, her eyes fixed on the trees speeding past the window. "Darling, talk to me…" She sighed and turned her gaze towards her clasped hands.

"What's there to talk about? Our baby's not even born yet and I've already fucked everything up--"

"What on earth are you talking about? You've not fucked up anything! Your cervix is only partially obstructed, the issue could still resolve itself--"

"Which the doctor said is possible, but unlikely." He bit his lip.

"Well, so what if you need a section? Okay, it's surgery, but there are still plus sides--"

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Well, for one, it'll all be over a lot faster. I won't have to watch on helplessly as you labour for hours on end--"

"It also means I can't leave the hospital for days, I won't be able to move around much or drive for weeks either. It's not going to be that straightforward--"

"Perhaps not, but we've both learned a lot over the last few months. Listen, there's no 'best' way to give birth or care for a newborn--"

"And what if I don't bond with them as well as I would have--"

"I promise you, darling, the moment you hear their cries and feel their skin on yours - everything else will just melt away--"

"You can't promise anything, Henry. That's the problem. God, there's so much more uncertainty now. What if I start bleeding? What if they're born too early…" She broke down and sobbed. Henry quickly found a turn along the stretch of road he could pull into.

"Oh, darling. Come on now, everything will be okay…" But she pushed him away.

"Just stop it, Henry! C-sections carry major risks and even if it does go as planned, our first few months as a family will be so much harder--"

"Ollie, that could have been the case even with a regular delivery. There are no guarantees either way but if a section is the best way to ensure you're both safe, then it's the right option for the three of us. Surely you can see that?"

"Yeah, and it still feels awful! I won't even be able to hold them at first without support…" She cried harder.

"Oh, my darling girl, I'll make sure you both get all the cuddles you need! And you heard what the doctor said, most births are assisted in some way, shape, or form. At least our section will be scheduled, the last thing I'd want is for you to end up needing the surgery anyway. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but it means we can do a lot more to prepare - and there's no shortage of people willing to help us."

"I know, I know. It's just not what we had planned. For God's sake, why am I not allowed to be upset about this?" He felt a lump in his throat.

"Of course you are, darling! I get it, I really do. I know we had something else in mind and to be honest it makes me angry that that version of birth is the one everyone keeps trying to sell when for a lot of families it's just not realistic. But we must focus on the positives. The doctor thinks you're still likely to carry to term, and as long as you take it easy, the rest of the pregnancy should run smoothly."

"But how are we going to cope with me on full pelvic rest? That means no sex, exercise or even standing up for too long!"

"… Which one of those are you most upset about?" She swatted Henry on the arm. "Anyway, your mouth still works--"

"So do my bloody fists!" He swallowed.

"Oh, I was only messing! I didn't expect sex in the later stages anyway. It'll be pretty uncomfortable for you, darling. I've also been trying to get you to rest properly for weeks. As you said, it's going to be hard work when the baby arrives so we might as well take it easy while we can. Why don't I be your assistant? I'll get you a little bell--"

"Stop it, this isn't funny! I hate being dependent on anyone, it's not good for my mental health to just lay about unable to do much--"

"Well then you've got permission to max out my credit card, I think there's still a couple of things we haven't bought…" Henry winked as he pulled back onto the road, but she'd already returned to looking out of the window.

"I'm so scared, Henry." The fear in her voice made his stomach drop. "If anything happens, I'll never forgive myself--"

"Now, you listen to me. When I heard our baby's heartbeat today, it reassured me that everything will be alright. They're a fighter like their mum and you're doing an amazing job keeping them safe. I know you'll continue doing that for the rest of your life and beyond. It's why I always wanted to marry you and start this journey together - you've never let me down. I know you're anxious and just want everything to be okay, but we can only cross certain bridges when we get to them--"

"All of that's lovely of you to say, but I won't feel better until they're safe in our arms…"

"That'll happen before we know it, sweetheart. And the doctor said we can always contact him again if we change our mind about wanting to know the sex--"

"Wait, are you telling me you want to know now?"

"No, I just thought it might make you feel better--"

"Nah, I'm fine not knowing. Although I have picked a name if it's a boy." He looked over at her, surprised.

"Oh really? Care to tell me what it is?"

"Nope."

"Can you at least give me a clue?"

"You'll have to wait and see."

"Well, don't you think I should have a say? What if I don't like it?!"

"Tough shit! It's the name they're having whether you want it or not! I'm pretty sure you will, though."

"… I hope you're right. But if you get to pick our son's name then I get to pick our daughter's." She eyed him suspiciously.

"Did you have something in mind?" Henry grinned.

"Maybe, but if you're not sharing then neither will I."

"Oh Henry, it better not be something silly--"

"Well, of course not! You know I'd never pick something daft. Besides I wanted us to choose together but you're not willing to tell me yours--"

"Yeah, cos I'd like it to be a surprise! Or don't you trust me to pick a nice name?"

"Of course I do, but I don't know if I can wait the rest of the pregnancy to find out what it is--"

"Well too bad, I'm not spilling and that's that."

"Please?" She sighed.

“Alright… Pubert.”

"Pubert?! Like off The Adams Family?" She laughed. "What is it really? Gregory?"

"Where did that come from?!"

"Okay then… Carlisle?"

"What? Are these boys you went to school with?!"

"No, they weren't you cheeky cow!"

"Well, who the hell calls their kid Carlisle?"

"I don't know, but knowing you I bet it's something quirky…" She quickly averted his gaze. "Oh God, I thought you said you didn't want any names like that?!"

"I don't! And it's not quirky, more… unusual."

"Oh, lord above…"

"Henry, relax. As someone who did get a stupid name, it's the last thing I'd do to our kid."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"… So it's not Angelo, then?"

"Angelo? As in Michelangelo? I thought Raphael was your favourite turtle?"

"That's Donatello actually--"

"But I thought Michelangelo was the one who loved pizza--"

"Yeah, anyway, I meant the painter--"

"What? Why?" Then it clicked. "Oh my God, you're not referring to the nursery are you?"

"… Well that's a relief. I wasn't looking forward to you thinking you could paint the rest of the house--"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

“Ollie, how many times did you try and paint that elephant before you gave in and had me put up wallpaper?"

"Excuse me, I just changed my mind about the theme, that's all--" Henry shot her a mischievous grin.

"Come to think of it, it did resemble an armadillo--"

"You little fuckwipe! I'll have you know I won prizes at school for my artwork--"

"What was the school?" She thumped him on the arm.

"Well it's not like I could have asked you to do it, you can't even draw stick figures!"

"Yeah well, as long as they at least get my IQ, they should be alright…"

"What are you yapping about now?!"

"Only that I'm full the package, beauty, and brains--"

"Oh yeah, it's a shame you haven't cloned yourself…" Henry laughed.

"Listen, as long as you're both safe, that's all that matters." Her relaxed smile quickly disappeared. "Hey, come on… we'll be fine."

"God, I hope you're right."

"Darling, if the doctor wasn't worried then neither am I. All this is, is a blip. Something to keep us on our toes. But it'll all be so worth it. Wait a minute, I've got it… Horatio!"

"Horatio? Like the admiral?"

"No, the insurance provider…" She rolled her eyes. "Of course the admiral! I think it's a solid choice--"

"If you think that's a solid choice I dread to think what you've picked for a girl…"

"Well, then you're going to have to give up your name so we can pick together--"

"Balls to that, I want the name I've chosen and I'm not settling for any other!"

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours--"

"For the last time, no!"

"Now I really hope it is a girl!"

"… I don't. I know what will end up happening, she'll adore you and barely tolerate me. And that'll break my heart."

"Don't be daft. And as you're my number one girl, she won't be allowed to be a little madam to her mum."

"Aww, well I can tell you right now, if we have a son you'll be completely eclipsed--"

"I'm already eclipsed! It goes Copper, Kal, the bloody cat that shits on our driveway cos you keep feeding it, then me! I couldn't fall any lower on the rankings if I tried!"

"Behave yourself, you know I was only joking! You'll still be the most important person to me and even if baby takes up a lot of my attention, I'll still be there for you as well."

"… You promise?"

"Yes… though God help me." They laughed and shared a kiss.

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Suspicious Minds - oneshot.

The noises from the nursery were growing louder and louder. Eventually, she decided she'd have to go investigate. She pushed back the door to find Henry in the middle of the room, kneeling over a booklet of instructions. Nuts, bolts, and long planks of wood were scattered everywhere. "Good God, it sounded like a gorilla enclosure in here… I'll have to put a picture of you on the wall with all the other animals—"

"I'm trying to put this sodding cot together, okay?! The instructions are a bloody nightmare…"

"Well, can I help? Surely it can't be that difficult, it's only four sides after all."

"No, it's fine. I don't want you doing any lifting—"

"Well that's not like you…" He rolled his eyes.

"Still, I'd rather we erred on the safe side." She huffed and leaned against the wall while Henry muttered to himself. "Take a seat, I want you off your feet."

"Yes, m'lord! Shall I have a kip while I'm at it?" He locked eyes with her again.

"Why, are you feeling tired? Darling you must rest—"

"Henry I was joking! Stop being such a fusspot. And hand me those instructions or they'll have left home by the time you're finished." Henry sighed but handed her them nonetheless. "Right, first thing's first, do we have all the parts?" He cast a glance around him.

"As far as I can tell—"

"Good, now do you understand that a failure to heed the warnings and follow the assembly instructions could cause serious injury and/or death?"

"Will you just get on with it?!"

"Calm your knickers! If you want I'll wait while you go look for a hard hat…" Henry harrumphed. "Okay, so first you're gunna want to attach middle rear leg E to middle panel A1…" She looked at the pieces dotted around his feet. "Those two bits there, you'll also need three fifty-five millimetre bolts—"

"Fifty-five? That can't be right…" He grabbed the booklet from her hands.

"I think you'll find it is. And don't forget the Allen key—"

"Yes, I know that! Bloody woman pointing out the obvious…" Henry mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, love. Right, what now?" He finished tightening the last screw and awaited the next instruction.

"Okay, you need to insert three wooden dowels into those holes…" Henry looked up and eyed her suggestively. "Oh, stop it! And they need to go there, not in those ones."

"… Are you sure we aren't having sex?" She rolled her eyes.

"Right, you now need to attach slats H through four with five dowels."

"Just five?"

"Yes you gobshite, now do as you're bloody told—" He tutted.

"Fine, where do they need to be slotted?"

"Well bend over and I'll take a look—"

"Lovely, are there any more you want me to stick up there?!"

"Yeah, bars F, G, thirteen, and four need to go on the other side. Come on, shift it, I don't have all day!" Henry scrambled for the right pieces and hammered them into position. "You can also take your tank top off if you want, make things a bit more exciting…"

"I thought you weren't in the mood?"

"Well, it's hardly a turn-on having to tell you what to do—"

"Since when?! And give me that, if you can follow it it should be a piece of piss…"

"Should be but isn't." She bit back a laugh when he looked up at her annoyed.

"Christ, I don't understand any of this… why would the forty-five-millimetre bolts need to go in the back and not the longer ones?"

"Cos longer's usually better?"

"Oh just shut up and hand me six of the M6 bolts please!"

"You sure they're the right ones and not just the ones you want to use? Anyway, you're closer, I thought you didn't want me to lean down?!" Henry huffed. "Nope, those aren't the right ones…" He snapped to his feet.

"Fine! You do it Miss Smart Arse, seeing as I'm the one who apparently can't read instructions—"

"Well are you sure you're reading the English side, not the French?" Henry turned to storm off. "Whoa there Nelly, I was only joking. God, what's gotten into you? Why are you taking this so seriously?"

"Because I want to be able to do as much as I can for you both. It's bad enough I'm already forty—"

"Wait, hang on. What do you mean?" He looked down at the floor, his eyes beginning to well.

"I mean, I'll be an older dad Ollie. I won't get the same amount of time with them as you will…" She tilted her head sadly and cupped Henry's face in her hands. "Then there'll be the times I won't be here and that'll rob me of them even more."

"Oh, darling. Look… nothing in life is promised. What I do know for sure is they'll be surrounded by so much love. You're going to be a fantastic dad, Henry. There's no one else I'd rather have in your place. Well… no one I've met." They smirked at each other.

"You're right. Besides, you could always go first…" She kicked him in the shin.

"As if I'd get that lucky! Remember though, I work for myself and you also have a lot of flexibility. But either way, I'll do everything I can to make sure you get as much time with them as possible. I mean, not too much of course, that would hardly be right…" Henry smiled at her again.

"You'd really do that for me?"

"For the three of us, of course! I don't want you to miss out on them growing up either. We're a team, remember? And baby's not going to change that." He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You make me so happy." She tutted.

"Soppy bollocks…" But they shared a kiss and Henry held her close, gazing down at the bump hitting his stomach. "I'm sorry, I was just panicking. You're showing now and it's feeling that much more real—"

"I know sweetheart, I worry about what kind of parent I'm going to be as well. But we both learned a lot from our childhoods and I'm sure we'll make the right choices." She gave him another kiss, patted his chest, and smiled. "For now though I think I’ll leave you to it, the instructions just repeat themselves for the next few pages so you should survive…" Henry gave her an anxious look.

"I'm sorry I'm not more handy, either. God, I just don't understand it… I can put a PC together but not a bloody cot!"

"Yeah, cos you're overthinking it! So long as it doesn't collapse inwardly on our child, I can't ask for anymore." He smirked and spanked her backside.

"Go on, get out of here. I'd rather go without your encouragement if that's the best you can do!" She gave Henry a wink and disappeared from the room.

***

"Knock, knock, how are you getting on?" She opened the door to find the cot almost finished. The view of their nearly complete nursery took her breath away. "Wow, I knew you could do it! And it only took the rest of the day…" He tutted as he picked up some spare screws from off the floor. "Seriously though, it looks great, how hard was it in the end?"

"Not bad actually, I mean I almost threw it out of the window at one point, but I made it work."

"Oh, I thought that was one of our neighbour's screaming 'fuck’ at the top of their lungs…" She then eyed the screws in Henry's hand. "How many of those do you have leftover exactly?"

"Not many thank you very much!"

"And they came with the cot didn’t they?"

"Well, where else would they have come from?!"

"Your head maybe?"

"Hysterical. Why don't you come and inspect my handy work if you're that concerned?!" She stepped up to the cot and jiggled several of the bars.

"Mmm, not too far apart, that's good. At least they won't get stuck." He rolled his eyes. "Not sure those drawers are plumb though…"

"What do you mean?! They're dead straight!" But she was too busy testing out one of the dropsides. As soon as she lifted it, it whooshed back into place with a sickening clank.

"Jesus Christ, that could take someone's head off!"

"Well, I followed the pissing instructions! What more can I do?!"

"Build a bloody cot, not a guillotine!" Henry sighed and referred back to the booklet.

"Ah, I see. I haven't lined up these two casings correctly…"

"Well I hope that's the extent of the snags, I'm scared to touch the sodding thing now…" He pursed his lips and before she knew it, she was quickly whipped into the cot.

"There, see! Sound as anything! If it can take you it can take any baby—"

"Henry, will you get me out of here, please?! This whole thing's gunna collapse!"

"Oh shush and go to sleep, or do you need burping?"

"HENRY!!!"

"Alright, alright." He carefully lifted her out and she thwacked his arm the minute her feet hit the ground. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"You know what for, I can't get up as easily anymore!" She pointed at her bump.

"Oh please, you struggled to do that anyway," another thwack landed on Henry's arm.

"Just for that, you're not getting the snack I bought up here."

"What do you mean? What snack?" He sighed and picked up his screwdriver when she walked off. She returned moments later, however, holding a plate piled high with thickly cut sandwiches. Henry's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "Other than terrorising your pregnant wife and building a death trap, you've done a wonderful job. I'm so proud of you darling and I can't thank you enough, the nursery looks amazing. I can't believe it's finished, are you excited? Before we know it we'll have a little one rolling around in there!" She pointed eagerly toward the tiny mattress.

"I know, the last few months really have flown by. It's going to be so weird having another person in the house!"

"You're telling me, you won't be the loudest, stinkiest one here anymore—" she stopped mid-sentence. "Wait a minute. Is it me, or is the whole thing on the conk?" He quickly stepped into her line of sight.

"Nah, that's just a trick of the light. Well, thanks for the sarnies, you best be getting on—"

"So it is bloody wonky?! I knew it! Did you not put the feet on?" She squatted low to examine the floor.

"Uh-uh, no you don't. Come on, get up please, you know I don't want you in that position—"

"Since when?" Henry rolled his eyes.

"Alright I confess, I haven't attached all the feet just yet as the whole thing was getting a bit heavy—"

"Well let me help--"

"No fucking fear!"

"Oh, Henry I'm not stupid!"

"Well, you could have fooled me! Remember that spice rack you tried to put up? Ten minutes afterward it crash-landed on the oven—"

"Yeah, cos you gave me shit screws - there and elsewhere!" His mouth fell open.

"Well I won't even dignify that with a response—"

"Yeah, cos you don't have one." Henry looked up at the ceiling and tried not to laugh.

"Darling, you can mouth off all you like, this is my job and I'm going to finish it. Now off you fuck."

"Well, what choice do I have…"

"Ollie, will you please just piss off?!"

"Fine! When you're done stuffing your face, come hop in the shower with me…"

"God bless those pregnancy hormones—"

"Oh please! You're just all sweaty, you'll stink up the bed later—"

"Sure. I'm thirsty as well, ya didn't by any chance happen to bring up a lager?" She smiled knowingly and handed him a tall tin can from the pocket of her jumper.

"Trust you to sniff that out. Oh and keep that Allen key handy as well, you can bleed all the radiators once you're finished."

"God, you'll work me to bloody death at this rate!"

"Henry, you've got off easy. You're not the one having to carry another person around, have them squish your organs, go into labour, give birth—"

"No, but I'm still having to hear all about it!" Her eyebrows hit the ceiling. "I'm kidding, if you're that helpless, go get all soaped up and I'll be in to scrub your back…" Henry spanked her backside once more and she walked off holding up her middle finger.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

Were you named after anyone?

No, my mum just liked the name.

When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday.

Do you have kids?

Yes, I have two.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I'm Australian.

What's the first thing you notice about people?

I'm going to assume physically and it's probably their height

What's your eye color?

Hazel

Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies.

Any special talents?

I can do the tie a knot in the cherry stem thing. OH! And I can do the lipstick trick from the Breakfast Club.

Where were you born?

Sydney, Australia.

What are your hobbies?

Writing, crochet, sewing.

Have any pets?

Three dogs. They're small. 1 chihuahua, 1 chihuahua x cavalier king charles spaniel and 1 chihuahua x mini pinscher. We recently lost our bearded dragon 😭

What sports do you play/have you played?

Netball, softball, touch football, oz tag, cricket, swimming.

How tall are you?

167cm

Favorite subject in school?

History

Dream job?

I kind of love my job tbh.

But I guess if we were going to go into fantasy land and ignore my complete lack of talent, I'd love to be a singer. On stage, like in musical theatre, not a pop star... Although fronting a metal band would be awesome.

I'm tagging (if you feel like it!): @nashibirne @henryobsessed @augustsprincess @cavillsthighs @ysmmsy @flordeamatista @the-winter-smoulder @jobean12-blog @blackwidownat2814 @navybrat817 @radiantheartbeat @buckysdollforlife



Where you named after anyone?

No, I wasn't. My mother was named after Rita Hayworth, though, which is pretty cool imho

When was the last time you cried?

Just a few days ago

Do you have kids?

Yes, I have a son

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Lol...is that a serious question? Of course not 😁😜

What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their facial expressions probably, so I can tell what to expect of them... Are they in a good or bad mood, are they approachable or aloof, friendly or grumpy...stuff like that.

What's your eye color?

Green

Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies 💯

Any special talents?

I have a real talent for lacking any kind of talent

Where were you born?

Germany

What are your hobbies?

Reading/books, photography, being outside in nature, traveling and Tumblr of course

Have any pets?

A cat called Jack

What sports do you play/have you played?

Some basketball and dancing as a kid/teenager. I love hiking and walking these days

How tall are you?

5'11....tall doll

Favorite subject in school?

English, German, social sciences

Dream job?

Librarian

No pressure tags

Were you named after someone?

Nope.

When was the last time you cried?

When I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy 3.

Do you have kiddos?

Nope

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Only when I breathe.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their teeth 🤣 I’m weird.

What’s your eyes colour?

Hazel

Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary!!! 🍿

Any special talents?

I guess I can write. Hyper fixate on a new hobby every week. Sort of good at DIY hedge witch stuff. I can draw and have some photoshop skills.

What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, playing video games, tinkering with stuff around the house, hyper focusing on insignificant details, painting warhammer miniatures, hiking in the forest.

Have any pets?

Two cats

What sports do you play?

Does going to the gym counts?

How tall are you?

I think the question is how short am I, and I’m pretty small - hobbit sized.

Favourite subject in school?

History, biology and literature

Dream job?

Nathan Drake style treasure hunter ;)

Tagging:

@the-soot-sprite @viking-raider @agniavateira @sapphirescrolls @ellethespaceunicorn @deandoesthingstome @raccoon-eyed-rebel @ylva-syverson @sarcastic-coffeedrinker @chamomilebottom @captainsy-cookiemonster @geralts-yenn @angryschnauzer @luclittlepond

Swings And Roundabouts - drabble request.

"Right, off we go. Put your seatbelt on, darling--"

"Hang on, just gotta finish off this side--" Henry sighed and leaned over both her and the puzzle cube, to fasten it. "Hey, I said wait!"

"Yes, and we also need to buy a recliner within the next twenty-four hours!" He shot her a smile but was met with an eye roll.

"Remind me, what's wrong with our current recliner?"

"You mean other than the fact you've buggered the footrest playing with it so many times?!"

"It's a recliner! Tell me, sir, am I not meant to recline?! OH WOW--" Henry skidded off the road slightly.

"What? What is it?!" She pointed eagerly to the crazy-golf course out the driver's side window.

"Look! Diplodocus! Come on, let's go for a round--"

"On the way back, maybe." She harrumphed.

"… Please?"

"We'll see, darling."

"Oh, come on! Where's your sense of adventure?"

"It's currently in reserve for chair shopping--"

"Now you know that won't take long!" He gave her a loving, but exasperated look.

"Darling, it took us nearly three hours to go food shopping yesterday--"

"That was mostly because of the traffic--"

"Yes, but also because you kept putting stuff in the trolley that wasn't on the list--"

"And who made you keeper of the list?!"

"I volunteered after you came back home last week with two cans of spray cheese--"

"Well one was hardly sufficient--"

"I'm not finished, a kilo bag of Jelly Babies, six bottles of Dandelion & Burdock--

"I know, they only had one pack left--"

"And the icing on the cake, a two hundred-metre roll of twine--"

"Well, I'd love to tell you what that was for but I can't remember where I put it--"

"You put it in the pantry, next to the cornflakes--"

"That was it! I needed it to reattach the bird feeders--"

"Whoa, hang on, how did you get from cornflakes to bird feeders?!"

"Can you remind me it's there when we get back?"

"I didn't leave it in the pantry--"

"Well then where is it? Oh Henry, you know not to move things about--"

"You couldn't even remember where it was! And have you been feeding our cereal to the local bird population?!"

"… That's neither here nor there. WAIT--" the car came to a screeching halt.

"What now?!"

"This isn't the right way…" Henry glanced from her, to the road, and back again.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what I just said!"

"Darling, the ring road's closed, remember? We're going the other way--"

"Henry, it's wrong!" He took a breath and pulled into a quiet corner of the road. "Why are we stopping?" But Henry said nothing as he turned off the ignition and pulled his phone from his pocket. "Oh no, not Google Maps…"

"Darling, I'm just showing you the route we're taking--"

"I don't need to see it, I already know it'll take longer!" She folded her arms, determined. He bit back a smile and put his phone away.

"Do you want me to put on the satnav instead?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't like its voice."

"Then I'll guide you, okay?"

"Or yours." Henry pursed his lips, trying not to laugh.

"Darling, we're on a tighter schedule today. What can I do to make this easier?"

"Try listening." He sighed and took the key from the ignition.

"Okay, why are we going the wrong way?" She turned to explain but got caught in her seatbelt. Henry smiled and unhooked it for her.

"Right, so, you know that hill with the flowers on top?" He had to think for a moment.

"You mean the roundabout?" She nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, well when you pass that you get to the twisty tree with funny leaves." Henry quirked an eyebrow but remained silent.

"And if you carry on from there--"

"Which way?"

"What?"

"I mean, what way do you go from there?" Her eyebrows knitted together. "You know, left or right?"

"Oh… yours or mine?" He burst out laughing. "Stop it, you're being mean!" Henry stifled himself, brushed a tear from his eye, and gazed at her lovingly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be! So, where do we go after the twisty tree?" She snuck a look at her hands. He couldn't help but grin.

"Left, no… yeah! Left--"

"And then?"

"Pass that road that has the house with the flowerpot man sitting on the wall--"

"Mmhmm," Henry quickly started the car, realising that she was, in fact, correct.

"And then the store is along the road you reach at the end of that one." She grinned triumphantly and he beamed back.

"You're absolutely right, darling! That is a better way, my apologies--"

"Hmmm… I'm not keen on audible apologies."

"Well then, shall we go for some ice cream first? I think that new parlour a couple of doors down is open now--" her eyes lit up.

"THE ONE THAT HAS THE MONKEY SWINGING ON A HIGH BAR?!" Henry chuckled.

"Of course! Not sure it's a real monkey, though…" She rolled her eyes. "But either way, I'll make sure you get enough bananas on yours." She tried not to smile and bopped him on the arm, ignoring his wink.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

“Shut the fuck up! Cowboy’s got an old lady?! Who’d wanna fuck that ogre?” 

Liquor flowed like the newly established running water in that small, nameless village they’d been exiled in for far too long. Two more weeks in this shithole and they’d be on the first redeye outta here. Sy could almost smell the fresh texan air, feel the warm breeze blowing in through the open window of his old pickup. Crickets chirped behind his closed eyelids, fireflies danced in the treeline behind the house. The steady creaking of that old porch swing made his heart hurt as he thought about her bare feet urging it to rock back and forth, back and forth. For a moment, he could taste the sweet tea in his favorite mason jar, fresh brewed and ice cold as it clung to his mustache in sticky, damp droplets. He licked his dry lips and shook his head, chuckling softly under his breath as he eavesdropped on the conversation as it unfolded in the next room.

“Have you lost your mind, Private? Do you want him to put your ass on latrine duty for the rest of our stay? He catches wind of you talkin’ shit about his woman, and they’ll be shipping us all back in pine boxes.” Cole scoffed and shook his head. They’d spent nearly a year out here busting their asses to get the water flowing again and he wouldn’t let the actions of one drunk jackass get him in trouble with the boss. He took a heavy pull from the amber bottle in his hands and sighed. “For the record…even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.” His comment sent the rest of the platoon howling with laughter. Sy simply smirked. He got that one from me. 

Cracking open the old metal tin with his name spray painted across the top, Syverson took out the stack of letters he’d accumulated over the last several months he’d spent away from home. “One last time, darlin’” he promised her. “Then I’m all yers. Ye’ll be sick’a me. Beg me ta’ get outta yer hair.”  

In truth, the thought of returning to civilian life scared him a bit. He enlisted the moment he could on the day he turned eighteen. Signed his life away, threw himself to the wolves, and got married to the job. Two decades later, he wasn’t sure he’d be any good at keeping a normal schedule. Johnny at the sawmill promised he’d hold a place for him when he got back, but spitting sawdust day in and day out somehow seemed worse than dodging bullets. His last tour was shorter than this one was. He’d barely been home long enough to shit, shower, and shave before word came down the line that he’d be shipping out again. The look on her face when he sat her down for dinner that night to break the news…he’ll never forget it.

Sy brushed a thumb over the stack of neatly folded letters in his hand. He’d read and reread them a million times while he waited for a new one to come in. Phone calls weren’t guaranteed out here. Even the satellite phone struggled to hold a connection. Conversations over noisy interference were brief. “How ya doin’, baby? How’s yer mom an’ them?” “Has the screen door been given’ ya fits again? It’s first on my list” “Alright, darlin’, I best be goin’. Keep sayin’ yer prayers fer us. Good girl. I love ya, sugar.” Nervous energy churned in his gut as he thought about laying eyes on her again. He wondered how long her hair had gotten. She knew he liked it long. Long enough to wrap around his fist and pull her back into him as he… Fuck. He couldn’t think about that right now. Two more weeks. Two more weeks and he’d be home. Home for good.

—

Life bustled around him as heavy, dusty boots thudded dully across the floor of the Houston airport. Men in suits talked into cell phones and toted briefcases as they brushed past him to get their luggage. Kids headed off to their fall semesters embraced their parents one last time before heading to the gate. Sy moved with a smooth, calculated accuracy to dodge the crowd as his eyes scanned faces for a familiar one. His heart thudded hard in his chest, the rush of his pulse flooding his ears over the sound of muffled last calls over the loudspeaker above.

Syverson wasn’t one to worry too much, but when he couldn’t find her right away, a voice in his head scolded him. “Ya must’a told her the wrong day, ya dumb motherfucker. Now what’re ya gonna do? Ain’t got no cash ta pay for a cab. Hitchhike? Flash a tit for a ride back ta’ town?” But then, he heard it. Clear as day, loud enough to rid the thoughts from his mind and send goosebumps skittering up and down his tanned forearms.

“Clayton.” 

Sy stopped suddenly, nearly bumped into the couple who walked behind him, and turned on his heels. He mumbled a half-assed apology to the disgruntled folks he plowed into as he brushed by them. The man was on a mission. Ditching the old green duffel bag at his feet, he threw open his arms as she met him half way and threw herself against his chest. 

He was an impenetrable wall, the force nearly knocking the wind from her lungs as she crashed into him. Tears brimmed in her eyes, wide and wild, the color of sea glass, gleaming in the fluorescent lights above as she searched his face. The lines at the corner of his eyes were deeper, a new scar graced his left temple and was already a soft shade of pink as it faded. A soft, satisfied smile spread across her freckled cheeks as she smoothed a hand over the center of his chest, letting it fall to rest over his heart. The steady thump of each beat against her palm gave her a sense of peace. He was whole; he was home.

“You’re late,” she chuckled, fisting his clean, pressed t-shirt and tugging him down for a quick kiss. Sy grasped her tightly, a rough hand coming up to hold the back of her head to keep her still. His eyes were alight with a silent warning as he held her close. Nuh uh, lil girl. Yer not goin’ anywhere.

“Nah, baby,” he breathed out, a playful smirk tugging at his lips as he brought them down to meet hers once more. “I’m right on time.”

—

“What’s this I hear about us getting a dog?” Sy had his arm slung over her shoulder as they walked out of the sliding double doors. He toted the duffel higher, up over his other shoulder as they paused at the curb and let traffic pass by. 

“She’s in quarantine right now. Once she’s cleared, we can pick ‘er up in a couple of weeks. Ye’ll love her, scout’s honor.”

Her laugh was music to his ears, as she shook her head and rolled her eyes at him. “Of course. You just can’t quit picking up strays, can you, big guy?” They crossed the path and headed out to the parking lot to find the beat up old Chevy that awaited them. The thought of her having to scoot the bench seat all the way up to peer over the steering wheel made him grin. 

“Hey, I picked you up. Look at us now.” That earned him a swat across the chest as she broke away to unlock the driver’s side door. Boy, was she a sight for sore eyes. This. The whitty back and forth. This is what he missed the most.

“Oh, shut up, asshole. You were drunk. I had to drive us back to your place, remember?” Sy stopped her before she could get the door open. He dumped his bag into the bed of the truck and backed her up against the side of it, reaching out to brush her hair over her shoulder. 

“Let’s make a pitstop on the way home, alright? It’ll be quick.” 

Her face burned bright red, and she giggled nervously as her eyes darted around them, worried that they might catch the attention of some nosy onlookers if she’d heard him right. “Clay…we haven’t even made it out of the parking lot yet. Let’s just go home and–” He let out an amused snort as he shook his head. Devil woman.

“Nah, baby…not like that.” He slipped his hand into the back pocket of her jeans to draw her in close as he met her gaze. His voice was soft and sure. His mama was right. She’d been waiting on him long enough.