shut up!

“kazunari,” he replies blankly, in a tone he could use when greeting a slight acquaintance. despite the pretended emotional distance, he shifts so that he’s holding his book in one hand, and the other smooths takao’s hair BACK. hair back. hair. backwards. ( note: he would have simply run his fingers through but as they’re taped, they have a habit of snagging on hair. this is actually a consideration he took into account. )

his first response is to stare, blinking slowly with a characteristic frown pulling at his brows. well, we say characteristic, but wouldn’t anyone think this is all a bit much out of nowhere? his eyes lower to the plushie cat keychain hanging from his wrapped fingers. his ranking is low today. it would’ve been nice to have been warned about weirdos approaching him with information he doesn’t care about, but then, if he had, midorima would only have discredited it because takao fills that role out. slowly, he puts the cat into his pocket. does this warrant a verbal response? hmmm... nope... he’ll just be walking away now, thanks.

huh? now that’s not fair, because midorima has never once, in his whole fucking life said kazu-chan. the thought which flickers across his mind as he stares back in some ill-founded offence makes him kind of want to die? kazu-chan. just smite him where he stands, please. “what are you talking about? i simply said your name. you never call me shintarou.” so... why is he complaining? actually take him back a few years ( alright, one ), and midorima would have given that day’s lucky item for takao not to call him shin-chan. shintarou would have been annoying, but nothing like shin-chan. but now it’s normalised and his only accepted nickname.

naturally is maintained less in whether or not midorima and jokes should go hand in hand, but in that everything he does, he does to the best of his ability. if he’s going to know any jokes ( and he does know another about a carrot, but that’s against his will ), they may as well be topical. naturally he had done research. because of course he had. also, takao, that was a mistake. midorima is practically grimacing. “why did you say it like that?” where’s the shin-chan bullshit that has come to make so much sense for them?

“naturally.” why wouldn’t he do his research? the best part about that joke had been that it appeals to two brands of people. doctors, even those who don’t have the sense to believe in astrology, and those who believe in astrology ( whether or not they believe in doctors ). ideal small talk to have in case of emergencies! and he will keep it in his mind despite the reception from someone who is neither a doctor or training to be, or interested in astrology. but the ever perception midorima notices something off about takao’s reply and his eyes narrow, assuming that there’s something to be suspicious of. “whaaat?” it’s important to note that he draws the word out in the depths of his suspicions. is takao up to something?

“yes,” midorima replies, all sunshine and pride, “it is one of my better--- what!” nevermind. false alarm. “if it’s so terrible, then why are you laughing at it! i delivered the joke using the comedic device deadpan humour,” said in english for some reason, “and i did it perfectly well.” stop being so indignant, you didn’t even write the joke! “tch. go die, kazunari.”

that aligns pretty well with how midorima feels about his boyfriend’s sense of humour, yeah. he deadpans at the sarcasm, and utters a small huh grunt under his breath. his expression, with the exception of this distinct red tone to it, returns to its former, disappointed glory. “worse.” he doesn’t have many jokes in his mind either, but he can think of one right now. “i said to my doctor ‘i think i’m obsessed with astrology,’ and he replied: ‘what are the signs?’”

midorima can close up and be as embarrassed as he wants to be afterwards, but the second he clocked that takao was going in for a kiss, midorima did lower just a little and turn his face instinctively towards him. regardless of letting it happen or not, his cheeks heat up and lips tighten into a line. as can be expected, midorima pretends to adjust his glasses to hide his face, and grumbles: “i like that one... better...” as far as jokes go, though, it’s not that great. and didn’t he mess up the formula? “you may tell me another one.”

steady, this is hardly kagami’s fault! so far, it’s only takao in awkward hell right now. midorima could admit ( to himself ) that he’s been a little worried about things being weird, but again, isn’t this just... normal relationship stuff? let’s not get into it now. midorima tenses his jaw for a moment, looking over at takao again with a look that correctly summarises his excitement for this joke. “yes?” it’s who’s there, stupid! he remembers it belatedly and adds: “who’s there?”