♌︎

She wanted to continue what we had, that I was the only one who ever made her feel like she was becoming a better version of herself. Sobrang na appreciate ko naman ang sinabi niya na yon kaya lang I realized something. I don’t feel the same way anymore.

Kung ano man ang meron samin before wala na yun. Parang hindi ko na kaya ibalik pa yung ako noon, at yung naging feelings ko for her. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve changed or if my heart just isn’t open the way it used to be. All I know is I don’t think I’m interested in loving someone again. Not now. Maybe not ever.

Rewatching The Originals.

May time rin na while looking at her picture kinakausap ko siya about sa concert na sana if ever na hindi pa yon ang last concert nila e makanood na ako. At tulungan niya ako makasecure ng ticket. And now, I finally secured a ticket. Grabe I never thought it would actually be possible. I’m just so happy and excited.

“The sheep may stray, the shepherd stays, Guiding love through darkest days.”

Naalala ko ang high school friend ko. We were classmates way back in elementary pa lang. We weren’t that close then, but I can say we were friends. We had different circles din kasi but because of the surname based seating arrangement, we often ended up sitting beside or across from each other.

Then in our senior year, we became classmates again and once again, seatmates. At dahil palagi kami magkatabi naging close talaga kami especially during our Christian Living subject where we had an activity that required each student to pick a partner for the whole school year. Gumawa ng bunutan ang teacher namin para sa magiging sheep namin and you would be their shepherd. I happened to be the one she picked as her sheep.

From that moment on, she started calling me “sheep,” and we didn’t just become partners for the subject we genuinely became super close talaga. Palagi niya ako hinahanap kapag dumarating siya sa classroom at kapag hindi niya pa ako nakikita bigla niya ako itetext ng, "sheep papasok ka ba?" Para talaga siyang naging ate sakin. Dinaig pa ang ex ko talaga. Lol Especially during Intramurals, when I joined volleyball, basketball girls, tug of war, and patintero grabe yung support na binibigay niya sakin. She cheered so loudly for me, calling out my name during games. She would often bring water and hand it to me. Para talaga akong may ate na super supportive.

One time, she even came with me to another school where I competed in track and field. I wasn’t confident because the other runners were so fast and tall. I’m short, so ang igsi ng legs ko. Haha. Pero andun pa rin siya, cheer pa rin nang cheer. Hindi man ako nanalo, sinalubong niya pa rin ako sa finish line nakangiti, proud pa rin.