I'm Actually A Mermaid

me at 3am: i must buy a lace bralette and new journal and freshly cut flowers and adopt a cat immediately

whenever a true crime video introduces a man i’m like yeah that’s the killer LMAO

“he-” ELECTRIC CHAIR!

☹️

what do you want

idk what embezzlement is. is that when you put rhinestones on a jacket

i wish i had a window seat with lots of pillows that i could sit in and drink tea and read books in and watch the rain in

sometimes you just gotta put your hand up your shirt and hold ur boob and thats life

Sorry I wasn’t paying attention I was pressing on my eyes for a color show extravaganza

If ur stressin over some boy just know he’s not worth it. ur too good for him

imagine being coherent. imagine having a single droplet of coherency. imagine speaking and having people understand what the fucks goin on in your noggin

is your dad’s side of the family highkey fucked up or are you normal?

being the eldest daughter is just *asks mother what’s wrong* *cannot express emotions* *”don’t worry i’ll do it”* *fiercely independent but only bc you would rather die than inconvenience someone by asking for help* *carries the trauma of your entire family* *asks mother what’s wrong* *the constant feeling of guilt that has no known origin* *third parent. maybe even replacement father if urs is shitty enough* *emotional punching bag for both parents* *not even a slight clue as to what a healthy boundary is* *asks mother what’s wrong*

love it how cats dilate their pupils to indicate it’s time to be Fucking Stupid. wish i could do that

whore (complimentary)

when covid ends i will be kissing all my friends on the lips in greeting like an italiana mobster

she thinks its my dick poking her when we cuddling but its my tapeworm coming out to say hi

i wish some of you didn’t have internet access

i deserve to be loved. not liked, not lusted after, not settled for, but loved.