Shameless Multishipper

I could really do with a reward or incentive

it sucks cuz my fave ben & jerry ice cream has a pic of jimmy fallon on it. the tonight’s dough. it’s so good though. but i hate having him in my house. i hate seeing his little cuck face in the store. i legit turn the container around when i store it in the freezer to minimize face to face time. whenever i’m gonna buy some i tell my sister “i’m going to get the little cuck cream at the store” and she knows what i mean

i abs0lut3ly h4t3 th3 w4y y0u phr4as3d “little cuck cream”

i are what i eat

you have made this post infinitely worse. blocked.

fuck dude you stunned them into regular speak instead of homestuck roleplay

I have a disease called I can’t reply to your text. I love you

i fuck no bitches and i get no money. this is my story.

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

I have a disease called I can’t reply to your text. I love you

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

my actual vampire hot take is that if you're going to be a 'vegetarian' vampire (a vampire that only drinks the blood of animals) you MUST have hunter education. i'm so sick of people being like oh well predator animals are mean and scary because they kill cute 'harmless' animals like NO they're crucial for the environment and if you're going to hunt animals for blood you still need to stick to regular people hunting guidelines and only hunt things that are in season and abide by your areas bag limits

vampire that did a detailed study about whether vampires can get prion diseases and concluded they can't and preferentially hunts animals with chronic wasting disease. and then incinerates the corpses.

vampire who is a woke predation abolitionist and so exclusively hunts predators, leaving primarily herbivorous and scavenging animals alone

i wish people would stop romanticizing not eating breakfast and not getting enough sleep and being dependent on coffee to function and always being in a bad mood and treating yourself poorly because that behavior is very unhealthy for you