LPZFics

“Hey Akaashi, can I ask you a question?” Bokuto’s voice rang out loud in the quiet of the hallway where the two were pressed against each other's sides, their laps holding their respective bentos. For a moment, Akaashi truly believed Bokuto had figured him out; that he was about to be stripped bare for the world to see. 

“Ah, sure.” The tension in his shoulders didn’t compete with the swirling sickness of his stomach, as if worms were inching their way through his intestines like parasitical devourers.

“Do you ever think we were born to play volleyball?” 

He wants to laugh, maybe cry. Instead he focuses on picking at the steamed vegetables and shrugging, “Not really. Do you feel that way, Bokuto-san?” Bokuto lit up, nodding, “It’s like my body feels so in sync with the ball when I’m on the court, like I can feel everything that goes on.” Akaashi could almost relate but instead of the ball it was with Bokuto, like unintentionally he had adjusted his already existing patterns to fit with this new and youthful version of his past lover, “I see. I think maybe you were then.” “Do you ever feel that way for like other things?” Bokuto asks curiously as he shoves a spoonful of rice into his mouth. Akaashi watches as a stray piece falls from his chin onto the floor.

Does he lie? Does he explain that anything without Bokuto was meaningless? That no hobby could ever compare to his true reason for existence? 

“Not really,” He decides on as he leans his head back against the wall and huffs. It was close, really. But he knew if he said anything as drastic as ‘it’s you I’m made for’ then Bokuto would surely call him insane and leave suddenly. 

The older boy seemed unconvinced, shrugging half-heartedly, “I’m sure you’ll find your purpose eventually, ‘Kaashi.”

He already had over a thousand years ago.

because who was he, if not for being fukurodani’s control point?

But right now? All that matters is him, his boyfriend and the sheets between them.