strawberry

I have an unhealthy relationship with most physical pleasures including food and having sex would you like to be best friends

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

guy who gets a pepsi from the break room vending machine every day after his work shift & amiably says “gotta have a pepsi!” while grinning & passing it back & forth between his hands but one day the pepsi is sold out & he leaves the building robotically with a completely flat expression & isn’t seen at work again

The secret to a happy functioning heterosexual relationship is that, as a woman, you have to be a little abusive.

the reason usa birth rates going down is because we have a whole generation of women whose sexual awakening was Sans undertale and none of the men want to wear jorts and drink ketchup and go Er er er

I love when people are weird. Do your thing diva

Pwease hire me 🙏 I have a bachelors degree and I learn fast and I’m pretty good at acting like a human person most of the time and I’m usually okay with being exploited

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh