My problem is that I have betrayed everything that I am for phone in bed
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
almost home
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trying on a metaphor

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

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@lowhangingbranches
My problem is that I have betrayed everything that I am for phone in bed

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they just don’t do any classic homophobic children moments like this anymore
There was really no winning that one
some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it
Shakespeare is like this
Every time I see a Van Gogh that’s not one of his better known pieces it absolutely blows me away
Have you seen this shit my liege? smh unreal
"they've had intercourse" "i know that i'm asking if they've kissed"
i think abt this a lot
physicists: think they know enough to be an authority in other fields
chemists: don't think they know enough to be an authority in other fields
biologists: aren't even sure they know enough to be an authority in their own firld
mathematicians: don't understand why you seem to think they'd ever want to leave the beautiful and pure realm of numbers and have anything to do with any other field

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one sip of this will have you demanding the news
i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people
if you could see the thread i'm hanging on by you would not say these things to me
I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”
breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby
*screams of a witch burning at the stake*
THOU ART CURRENTLY LISTENING TO
*Gregorian chanting*
13.21
*leper bell ringing*
HIGH MEDIAEVAL FM
*recording of John Lackland sobbing as he signs the Magna Carta*
WHENCE COMETH NAUGHT BUT LITURGIES
LITURGIES
AND MORE LITURGIES
*Templar knights praying out loud*
THIS ISN’T THY GRANDMOTHERES STATION
*Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*
My brother had lost the right to mock my deeply unwise vending machine purchase because he's spending his weekend driving to Iowa to buy a 1954 Cadillac limousine.
He doesn't have an explanation for this other than the fact that it's cool. And honestly, that's a pretty compelling argument
Oh good, he's named it.
He got her and she's gargantuan
THE BIG is home!!
Update: brother says: tell your internet people- I’ve been making the car shiny and it is COOL.
He's correct. This is excellent.
I left my brother unattended he traded the little corvair next to THE BIG for this thing. I think he's building an armada
He is casting spell of car repair on it, I think.
Brother has been left unattended and has gotten himself a 1970 Cadillac DeVille.
And now it just needs a plate!
Other options are LONNNG and LOMMMG.
it should definitely be
LOMG
LONNNG
LOMMMG
She's LONNNG! Thanks team!

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a car you used to drive can also be a kind of dead wife
something i think would make a lot of historical romance more accurate & interesting is the realization that people are less likely to totally disparage the ethical & social values of their time than they are to use those values to defend whatever it is they want to do
a woman is less likely to go "it's stupid that women are expected to be modest" than she is to go "there is nothing immodest about a woman going out without a chaperone" or even "i can go out without a chaperone because i am so modest"
people also seem less likely to see someone's shitty behavior as reflecting a shitty society than they are to view that behavior as being out of accordance with that society - e.g. a father who's excessively controlling of his daughters' marriage prospects isn't, in her mind, acting that way because he lives in a repressive patriarchal culture, but is actually outdated in his values - his cruelty is unmodern, ungentlemanly, stuck in the past, barbaric. we might think he's upholding the values of his culture perfectly, but the people around him who took issue with his behavior probably wouldn't see it that way
its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops
The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already
i want you on my team holy shit
earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

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this is one of the more creative hate comments i've seen and i felt the need to immortalize it
affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them