I love you.

The one way to ruin something amazing is to become scared & run if I had stayed & not taken the easier option of running & not letting you in fully then maybe just maybe I could still be in your arms. Mind you on another note maybe if I had just kept my legs closed & not fucked you in the first place then maybe I would still have you by my side as a friend. But if I had to choose I would definitely still be your lover instead I am just stuck with someone who makes me miss you more & more everyday.

Missing you, but having to pretend to everyone around me that I couldn't care less about the fact that I never ended things the right way & I never got to say goodbye or it isn't you its me is probably the hardest thing I will ever have deal with. I don't have closure & I probably never will; you were so much more to mean then you will ever know & letting you go when I did seemed like the right thing to do but now when I am alone or laying in bed at 3am awake next to the person I chose over you I think that maybe I made the wrong decision. I have never been so confused about a decision in my life & all I wish is that one day I get to see you & maybe be held by you one last time & get to say sorry for the way I cut you out completely with no explanation or real reason. I should of let you come down to talk to me maybe then I would have some sought of closure not just that but maybe the massive hole in my heart where you are the missing peice will be mended I miss you, but mostly the bond we had before we were more then friends. I love you & I am sorry.