Wham Wham Bitches [INTRO]
Featuring: Dire Crowley, Grim.
Synopsis: Night Raven College is bustling because of the sudden visit from the Ministry of Magic. Money’s source for Crowley, but a dump of troublesome works for Kokoro. Worse, the girl needs to operate under the conditions of sleep deprivation, caffeine withdrawal, and first day period cramps.
In which people thought the Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm was someone with patience like a saint, while the God above laughed and said, bet.
Note: I don’t know, but the story ideas come after hearing Lemon Tang by Hearts2Hearts. Anyway Robbart Gruben is an original character of mine just for the sake of this story.
Chapter: Intro | Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia | Maint Event | Aftermath
The day was scorching hot. As the highest point on the Isle of Sages that is closer to the sun and an old building with no ventilation that hadn't been repaired for a long time, the inside of Ramshackle Dorm was like a top-notch microwave.
It was Kokoro's third bath. Two were in the lake behind the forest for a quick dip, and one was in the upstairs bathroom. It couldn't be helped, conserving electricity and water was still paramount.
A white towel hung over her head as she crossed off another date on the calendar. It had been a long time since she'd been stranded in Twisted Wonderland, but there had been no news of Crowley's progress. Even now, she was having trouble finding the Gate to her world when entering Lone Point.
"It's late again," she hummed thoughtfully.
A pair of paws appeared at the end of the table, Grim's face poking up and his nose sniffing. "Why are you circling the date, Kokoro?"
"I'm waiting for blood." Kokoro put down her pen and continued drying her hair.
"Blood?"
"A guest."
Grim's eyes gleamed. “Ah, I get it. You want a guest so you can beat him to a pulp, Nyaha!”
“Not exactly…” she replied, massaging her neck.
I’m the one who’ll be beaten to a pulp if it ever comes. Hope the cramps won’t be so bad.
After a moment of silence, Kokoro turned to Grim. “Where did you learn that phrase?”
“You.”
“…Right.”
She sighed and carried Grim back to the lounge. On the table were scattered books and scribbled paper. Summer and exams weren’t a pleasant combination. Kokoro had never been accustomed to taking academic tests like those set in educational institutions. Fortunately, this was just an annual exam to gauge their abilities before the final exam.
Though if they failed, the professors certainly wouldn’t stay silent. There would be a series of very long and boring supplementary lessons.
“How long until we can finish this off?” Grim sat on Kokoro’s lap, and they went back to reviewing the lesson.
“Until we cover everything.”
“Everything—!?” he gasped.
“Grim, you failed Professor Trein’s quiz,” she reminded him again. The professor’s face was so extraordinary that Kokoro couldn’t help but predict that if Grim failed, the consequences would be gruesome.
“Because it’s too hard!”
“Complaint accepted, keep the pencil moving. Let’s aim until sunset, Grim,” Kokoro said while handing him a new sheet of paper. Since the incident at Octavinelle, Kokoro had been paying closer attention to her companion’s movements.
“Mrrrgh—” The cat held his grumble.
It was supposed to be a peaceful day. But the next second, it was like a bolt of lightning struck midday. The dormitory walls shook, and one of the lounge windows flew open.
“Good afternoon! I brought some wonderful tea!” Suddenly, the room was filled with black feathers and the scent of ink.
“—!!”
Crowley mask was the first to greet Kokoro and Grim. In his hand was a small bundle that he readily handed to Kokoro. It turned out to be the tea souvenir in question. “My, if it isn’t my most beloved students of Ramshackle, Grim-kun and Kokoro!” His attention was diverted to the books scattered on the carpet. “Oh, what do we have here, independent supplementary study before the exam!”
“We are literally the only students in this dorm, Yanno.” Grim was clearly not amused. His ears drooped. “Besides, Headmaster. You keep promising me tuna cans from before. But until now, you never give them!”
“How dilligent—if only, some of the other students could emulate this tenacity of yours.” Crowley took out a handkerchief and dabbed at his eyes. Kokoro didn't care whether there were real tears or not.
"Listen to me—! And you need to stop entering from the window!" Grim hissed.
Kokoro sighed and approached Crowley. She raised both hands, making the Headmaster turn his head.
"Your cape and hat, Headmaster."
Crowley was silent for a moment. Kokoro waited, and sure enough, Crowley's friendly face returned, though it had been absent for a moment. "My, how very kind of you."
After that, Kokoro left Grim and Crowley for a moment. She had hung up Crowley's hat and cape. She went to the kitchen to boil some hot water.Â
Kokoro took out the new set of porcelain teacups sent to Ramshackle yesterday under Lilia Vanrouge's name. She hadn't seen the little senior much since the Diasomnia incident, so Kokoro hadn't had a chance to express her gratitude. Once the tea was ready, a thin layer of steam rose from the cups. Kokoro opened the refrigerator and put in some ice cubes. Then she also cut some lemon slices. The reddish-brown color of the tea cast a faint reflection on Kokoro's face. She returned to the lounge and served the tea.
There, Grim had already begun his interrogation, who knows how long. “So what brings you here? No matter how many times I think about this, you always show up to give me and Kokoro some work.”
“How cruel of you, Grim-kun. Is it wrong for this benevolent Headmaster of yours to visit his poor students?”
“Fgnaa—because it was you, I am having a trust issue!”
Crowley waved his hand. His figure, no longer adorned with his oversized hat and cape, now looked more relaxed. “I just wanted to deliver a gift. Kokoro, even though I gave you and Grim-kun cell phones for easier communication during the winter holiday break, I feel like you need so much more to carry out your duties as Prefect and Supervisor working directly under my command.”
“Glad you realize it,” she answered shortly.
Crowley choked on his tea. He put it down, and Kokoro calmly handed him a tissue. “How charming. You even don’t hesitate for a moment.”
“Should I?”
“Just spit it out. You make me curious.” Grim looked lazy, his tail wagging, not the slightest bit amused by Crowley's arrival.
"Ahem—of course. Be careful, it was a bit heavy." Crowley snapped his fingers. Kokoro looked up as smoke appeared above her. Her hand reflexively reached out, catching a thin but heavy object that had fallen there.
The silhouette of its surface was slightly shiny with a classy pink color. Similar to the bright pink blush shade Cater Diamond had bought her.
A laptop?
Kokoro tried to turn it on.
"Whaaa—so shiny—! Isn't this often displayed in the game store you frequent, Kokoro? That Blazy Dorm Head of Ignihyde constantly asks you to do his shopping!" Grim approached and admired the device.
Crowley enjoyed the sight. A lot, much to Kokoro's dismay. "From the way you operate it, I assume you already know the basics."
"It's a fairly common device in my world. I don't use it very often, but some tutorials from the internet would do," she replied, placing the laptop on the table. It was quite small and very light, perfect for carrying around.
"As expected of our beloved Prefect. I chose this color for you on purpose. I heard from Vil-kun that girls your age really like it."
Kokoro tilted her head, deciding to ignore the name. "So, what is the job you want to give me?"
Crowley's smile twitched, but quickly masked it beautifully. “Straight to the point, I see. You almost made me feel bad.”
“So there really is a job!” accused Grim while pointing at the Headmaster.
“Now, now, calm down and please listen carefully. This isn’t too difficult a job, considering half the preparations have already been made,” the Headmaster began. Before the ice could melt anymore, Kokoro brought the teacup closer to him.
“What preparations?”
“You see, once every few years, the Ministry of Magic sends several envoys to visit and evaluate various magical schools. With Night Raven College’s fame, of course, the envoys aren’t just any ordinary people. Some of them are inspectors and people from the Board of Education under the direct command of the Board of Chairman. The Ministry of Magic also often brings many influential donors. Every year they spend a lot of money to promote the progress of all the schools, so they naturally want to know what kind of schools are invested.”
This wasn’t the first time Kokoro had heard this story. When she worked at Monstro Longue, she had often glimpsed documents related to the visit on Azul Ashengrotto's desk several times recently. She'd also found similar documents on Jamil Viper's bedside table.
Well none of that mattered much to her.
The problem was why Crowley had suddenly told her this. Her Prefect title was merely a mere display. As far as Kokoro knew, she had never been involved in this event to begin with.
Crowley's face changed before continuing. He clasped his hands together. "This year, there's one person worth paying attention to... He's Inspector Robbart Gruben, a member of the Board of Education. He's also rumored to be the strongest candidate to replace the current Board of Chairman, Godolina Menzer."
"That is terrifying…" Grim folded his arms.
"And he's also quite famous for his criticism and his judgments are very difficult to meet," Crowley added. He finally took a sip of his tea.
"He sounds problematic, yanno" Grim grimaced.
“I second that,” Kokoro joined in.Â
“Even I need to admit that I’m having quite a hard time connecting with him.”
“So,” Kokoro adjusted the pleats on her pants. “What problem are we facing?”
Of course, if it was about meeting his expectations, as headmaster, Crowley would have had many plans to address them.
“The visit has been expedited,” Crowley replied.
The atmosphere suddenly fell silent.
“...”
“Things like that tend to happen. Although this time it was something unexpected.”
Kokoro stared blankly. Her shoulders felt heavy, the urge to move from her seat gone. “How expedited?”
“Very much. The visit will take place next week.”
“Next week—!?” Grim screamed.
Hearing Grim’s panic, Kokoro now realized Crowley was actually thinking the same thing. “That’s why all the dorms are protesting this change. Surely the Ministry of Magic visit was one of the agenda items discussed at the beginning of the semester meeting. But this change has left everyone quite confused.”
“How could this happen? Surely the Ministry of Magic doesn’t have a free schedule that allows them to change their visit at will,” she asked, trying to analyze.
“I just received this news yesterday. Apparently, Inspector Gruben proposed prioritizing the NRC because he said the RSA, which they were supposed to visit this month, is busy preparing for exams and several other academic olympiads.”
“Isn’t NRC the same? Our exam is also important! Professor Crewel threatened to hang me in the courtyard if I didn’t score a 75 on the exam!” Grim protested, disapprovingly. “What kind of favoritism is this?”
Kokoro cupped her cheek, honestly, it was suspicious.
Crowley’s face was covered by his golden claws, and he began to bawl. “Oh, such a pitiful arrangement that my students met! If only someone would be kind enough to help them navigate this event and relieve them of their anxiety.” With his two fingers forming a gap so that his golden orb was visible, Kokoro pretended to turn her face away. Crowley’s dramatic sobs continued. “Since yesterday, I’ve been trying to hold a meeting and talk to them. But the Dorm Heads aren’t taking this well. Even Riddle-kun wants to file an official protest to the Ministry!”
Kokoro was left speechless. “Of course they don’t. It’s the middle of summer, and you’re forcing them to do a paycheckless job. Plus, next week is exam time. Everything is bound to be hectic.”
“I’m very delighted that you can understand how dire the situation we’re facing here is.” Crowley clapped his hands, moving closer to Kokoro, forcing her to lean against the armrest. “So, Kokoro, you’ll help, right?”
From the gap, Grim said, “Kokoro beat him.”
“So suddenly—!?” Crowley gasped in a dramatic manner.
“Later, when I have the perfect alibi.”
Crowley seemed unwilling to give up. “You need to keep your spirits high. Treat this as my generosity to get you closer to the other dorms.” He trailed off. The headmaster seemed distracted by his own thoughts. “Hmm, although I guess it’s no longer necessary.”
Kokoro raised an eyebrow. She hadn’t heard the last sentence clearly. In the end, she could only sigh. “And exactly what does this benevolence cost me?”
Crowley’s signature smile returned. That pleasant smile that indicated everything was going his way and he was satisfied with how Kokoro had been persuaded. “How about this… If you guys manage to help make this event run smoothly, I’ll consider increasing your allowance.”
“And my tuna cans!” Grim wasn’t about to miss the opportunity.
“Of course, of course. Everything can be arranged.”
Not immediately accepting, Kokoro drabbled her fingers on her lap. "Have the professors considered postponing the exam?"
"That will be a topic at today's staff meeting. But the hope isn't high, considering the many things that have happened recently... pushing the academic calendar back significantly. If it's postponed any longer, I'm afraid this exam will be combined with another tournament season or even moved closer to the final exam. Moreover, the exam scores this time will be used for evaluation by the Ministry of Magic, so I'm afraid not," Crowley answered honestly. Kokoro received the information well, he is referring to serial overblots that happen.Â
Grim's eyes widened, the blue flames in his ears curling violently, indicating his emotional fluctuations. "Whaa—that's much worse!"
Great, few minutes ago it was my biological calendar, and now the academic calendar is also being wreck havoc.
"So, what do you think, Kokoro?"
Facing Crowley's golden eyes, Kokoro fell silent. It's not like she'd been expressing her opinion much. After all, she had a small say in this matter. And no matter how stubborn she was, she knew she couldn't refuse Crowley. Better to conserve as much energy as possible, resolve this issue, and try studying for the exam again.
Oh, how lazy she was.
“… I will trust Headmaster’s judgment,” she responded after a while.
“Wonderful!” the headmaster chirped happily.
Kokoro turned her head. “However, I need to remind you again that I am just an outsider to the other dorms. That will further limit my movements. But, if the Headmaster will consider giving them notice that I would be coming to help… maybe it would have helped a bit.”
Crowley nodded in understanding. “For that matter, no need to worry. I believe your presence alone could give them an energy boost.”
Kokoro could only give him a bombastic side-eye. She even doubted it herself.
As if…
It would be hell for them all until next week.
The days ahead would not be easy. The NRC will be filled with teenagers whose emotional condition is on the verge of committing violence. because they were given extra work. If a coup d'etat was next, she wouldn't be surprised. Heck, Kokoro might be their first target.
“Headmaster, may I assume you will do anything to ensure the success of this visit?” she raised her hand.
“Why yes. Our NRC’s good name is at stake here!” he smiled proudly.
Kokoro narrowed her eyes. “So you will do anything?”
Crowley’s chest grew even more puffed out, his voice filled with authority. “Of course. Haven’t I already shown my seriousness by giving you a laptop to facilitate your coordination?”
Kokoro nodded. The next second she raised her hand.
“Then give me your credit card.”
Crowley choked. “I beg your pardon?”
“Your credit card,” she insisted once again. "With the rush of this visit, there will be many unexpected expenses, especially for instant delivery fees. Going back and forth from each dorm to your office would be too time-consuming to request funds or refunds. To ensure the efficiency of this event, I request that you provide your card. If not that, another card specifically used for this event will also do. Of course, I will also request money to compensate the seven dorms for their efforts. Treating them to a lunch or two shouldn't give your wallet a heart attack."
“...”
“Headmaster,” Kokoro’s aura darkened, her hand still in the air. “It’s impossible to ask them to do this without compensation. I’ll consider it overtime and assistance fees. You can’t possibly refuse, right?”
“...”
“Your students. Upcoming exam. In the middle of summer. Mental compensation. Payless job—”
Crowley shuddered and finally wavered under her persistent gaze. He sighed at the end while giving Kokoro his card. “Since this is urgent, very well, I will contribute to it. But please keep track of all expenses.”
“Deal.” Kokoro nodded, looking at the card.
Wow, a bling-bling black card.
“I’ve prepared everything in the drive I created. There are reports and instructions regarding each job description given to the dormitory. Tomorrow, please check them one by one. And please report to me if there are any problems.”
“Understood.”
“Marvelous. Now then, I’m super busy. I’ll leave the rest to you. Goodbye, my dearest students!”
“I told you to use the door— He’s already flown away!! Ugh, that ignorant bird!” Grim huffed, raising both hands. He climbed onto the sofa and closed the wide-open window. The hot summer air made them both shudder, and they shied away.
Kokoro began tidying up the scattered papers and opened the drive Crowley had been referring to. There were several folders already titled. At least she was starting to understand the priority order of what to check. “Now, you understand my yapping when you get out of the shower without drying your fur first.”
Browsing through the first folder, Kokoro kept massaging her stomach. It felt strange.
“This is a lot of files. And so messy… is it supposed to be like this?” Kokoro checked one file and found a mess of meeting minutes consisting entirely of "Discuss later." Which means most of them were still unconfirmed.
“…”
She opened the second drive and found order documents with missing receipts.When she checked, the package was still in transit and expected to arrive in two weeks.
“...”
On the third drive, she found several unfilled reports, including the Dorm Heads' signatures that were missing and some untitled documents. One of them is a disturbing doc name such as Final_Final_RealFinal_GreatSevenPleaseMercy.
“...”
She doesn’t even want to open it.
Headmaster is right.
We are in such a dire— no, ultimate fuck up situation.
Kokoro didn't think she'd be able to sleep tonight. Her ears caught a slight movement. Her companion crept away from her, half of her body covered by the sofa.
Kokoro stared at her for a moment. "Grim, maybe you want to help—"
Grim was already straight to the door. The sound of the door slamming echoed throughout the room, accompanied by the falling of a painting.
"Ghoooosstss where are you, let's play magift!!!"
Kokoro sighed. She didn't close her laptop.
Typical Grim.
A late dinner for him, it is.
