lovingremus

This started of as a joke that Lily and Mary make Eurovision watch parties every year and everyone must dress as their favorite act.

Y’all know my problem with writing random headcanons I find xoxo

Remus was never very good at potions.

Still, he thought brewing and testing Veritaserum was a stupid idea in the first place. Forcing teenagers to be honest? Merlin help them all.

In his defence, his potion did turn clear… mostly, as it swirled through his cauldron. A small spike of excitement hit him at the thought that maybe he’d actually done it right? Lily had refused to help, saying this was easy enough and he’d be fine, so he probably did it right. Still, there was no way to tell, so he glanced at Lily before filling a small vial and swallowing it down quickly.

“Right, Moony…” Lily started, thinking carefully. “Who’s your least favourite person in the room?” Remus scoffed, eyes drifting to Snape, who was smiling like a pompous arse as Slughorn nodded approvingly at his cauldron.

“Please, you and I both know the answer to that question.”

“Well, yeah, but you didn’t say it.” She pointed out, and Remus sighed, disappointed. Ah, well. He was just a bit shit at potions. He hadn't expected it to go his way. "Shame it didn't work. I thought it was an easy potion." Remus glanced at her, frowning as a glowing green aura started to form itself comfortably around her. The confusion only lasted half a second, as something in him seemed to know that she was telling the truth.

"Hold on. Wait. I've made something." His eyes darted over the quickly dissipating glow, a spike of excitement hitting him before he could stop himself from feeling it. He had done something cool, he just didn't know what the fuck it was. "Uh... tell me something true."

"Okay? Mary's favourite colour is purple?" The same green, the same instinct.

Oh.

"Right, now a lie."

"I hate you?" The aura that had slowly been scattering, floating away like a cluster of dragonflies, reformed quickly, glowing red this time, as Remus got an uncomfortable gnawing in his gut, entirely sure that it was a lie.

Oh, shit.

He'd created a fucking lie detector.

"I know when you're lying." He said, slightly stunned, and Lily's eyes widened.

"You mean you..."

"I think I created a new potion."

"Right, what exactly did you get wrong? Write it down, now." She shoved a piece of parchment in front of him, and Remus stared at it a little helplessly.

"How the fuck am I meant to do that?! I never know what I'm doing when I walk into a potion classroom!"

"Remus, this is huge! You can find out literally anything you want to know!" Something in Remus frowned, then. He knew what he wanted to find out, and it wasn't quite something he was ready to find out.

He had first developed feelings for Sirius Black in fourth year.

It wasn't like he had planned to fall for his best friend, it had just sort of... happened. He was an easy person to like, with his sparkling eyes and insanely perfect mind. Too perfect. So much so, that in the span of the two years he had been trying to suppress his feelings for, he had gone from having a slightly embarrassing crush to being completely and utterly in love with him. That was when the dread settled its way in, essentially never leaving him.

Sirius was light, he was joy, he embodied everything that made life worth living. If Remus could just make Sirius smile when he was upset, then he was doing enough; and since Sirius had never given him any sort of indication that he had feelings for Remus, Remus had just accepted that it would have to be enough for him.

He had never expected to be offered a chance to find out.

Maybe confirming what he already knew would give him a chance to start moving on. However, he didn't think he could handle knowing for sure. At least, with his own self-deprecating brain, he could hold out just the slightest bit of hope, let himself imagine what it would be like to kiss him without having the crushing reality take over.

Still, it wasn't the time to think about that. He may as well torture Lily a little.

"D'you hate James?" He asked, not missing a beat, and watching as the same, almost automatic, answer formed on her lips, face slightly pink.

"What? Yeah, obviously!"

Red.

"Oh, Lily, I never pegged you for a liar!" He emphasised dramatically, dropping onto the desk like he'd been shot.

"Shut up! Hate may be... a little dramatic of me, but just- shut it!" She gave him a light shove, but she was laughing too, before grabbing the dishes of ingredients they had been giving and weighing them all, jotting everything down carefully. “Maybe I can recreate it at some point. Somehow.”

“Changing the subject, there?”

“I hate you.” She drawled sarcastically, a small smile playing on Remus’ face.

“Lie.”

“That was so fucking embarrassing!” Sirius groaned, dropping onto his bed and covering his face with his hands. “I’m staying here forever, just leave me here.” He waved in James’ direction, and could almost feel the eye roll happening at his expense.

“Padfoot, you’ve walked into so many walls, you’re not exactly co-ordinated when you’re not on a broom.” Sirius threw his hands out either side of him and shot James a glare. “Listen, I’m sure he didn’t even notice.”

"What? Didn't notice that I made eye contact and immediately gave myself a concussion? Go to dinner without me, let me die in a hole of self pity, please."

In Sirius' defence, he didn't mean to fall in love with Remus. He was just the most impressive person Sirius had ever met, and it was like he had awoken something in Sirius, made him realise that he was missing something. Something that Remus fixed. He somehow understood Sirius in a way nobody else did. He knew when Sirius needed to talk, to be alone, or just to sit in silence with someone else, and he was always there for it. Sirius just found him... amazing.

So much so that he wound up tripping over his own feet whenever he was around him. The opposite of ideal, since they shared a dorm and all.

"You need to stop being such a dumbass." James said quickly. "Have you even tried asking him out?"

"Asking who out?"

Fuck.

Shit.

Sirius let his eyes sink shut, cursing the universe and deciding that it just wanted to torture him. Remus just had to walk in, didn't he? Why was he so silent when he opened doors?

Fighting the urge to groan, Sirius sat up and smiled at Remus, ignoring the tug in his stomach when their eyes met.

"Nobody! It's nothing." Sirius said quickly. Remus' eyes narrowed, like he could see straight through Sirius' dismissal.

"You're not telling the truth." He murmured, so softly that it may as well have been him talking to himself. It made Sirius' heart speed up just a little, though, anxiety racing. "Padfoot, you can tell me." Remus said, giving him those fucking reassuring eyes that Sirius wanted to look into for the rest of time.

"Y'know what? I'm going to give you two a chance to talk. Maybe you can get some things off your chest, Sirius." James said pointedly, giving Sirius a nod of encouragement before he left the room.

Sirius shut his eyes and forced himself to take a deep breath as Remus sat beside him on the bed, close enough for Sirius to start short circuiting and have to force himself to think like a normal person.

"Did Prongs say... get off your chest? What's going on?"

There was really no way out of it. Sirius had to tell him. Stupid fucking door not making any fucking noise.

"I- I have something to tell you." He started softly, attempting to smile, but almost feeling himself grimace. Remus picked up on it, eyes softening with concern. "Listen, though, before I tell you, just know that it doesn't have to change anything, and just- fuck, you're going to hate me." He dropped his head into his hands again, feeling Remus watching him.

"Hey, I could never hate you, okay? Never. You can tell me anything, really."

"Well, I- I think I'm in love with you." He said, fixing his eyes firmly on his hands, fidgeting with them and fighting the urge to turn and run when he felt Remus freeze next to him. "Actually, that's not really true. I know I'm in love with you. I've known for a while, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable, or anything, and I've done just fine repressing everything, and I can keep ignoring it, this doesn't have to change our friendship. In fact, it's fine, just forget I said anything, let's just move past this. Fuck, I'm so sorry-"

"You're not lying. You're telling me the truth, you're in love with me." Remus sounded like he was stating a fact, not asking a question, but Sirius still answered it, forcing his eyes up to Remus'.

"Uh... yeah? What is it with you and the truth today, Moony?"

"I fucked up my Veritaserum, in potions. Accidentally turned myself into a human lie detector."

"Oh, right, that makes sense." Sirius nodded to himself, turning away again, doing everything in his power to stop his anxiety from shoving him into a panic attack. Still, he couldn't help but notice that Remus hadn't said anything about the whole... love confession thing. "No, yeah, wasn't lying."

"So you don't- it's not just a fleeting feeling, or anything? You actually love me?"

"Mhm, I love you." He'd honestly really appreciate Remus getting the laughing in his face and asking to move dorms part out of the way, instead of making Sirius repeat himself over and over.

"Fuck."

"Yeah."

"Fuck."

"Sorry."

"Wait, no, don't be sorry, why would you be sorry?" Sirius frowned. Surely it should have been obvious?

"Well, because I- because I'm in love with you."

"Padfoot, I- I love you too. Of course I do, how the hell could I not?"

Oh.

Sirius felt the joy hit him before he had gotten past the shock. Remus was in love with him. Remus loved him.

"Really?" It was Remus' turn to nod, that lovely, lovely smile finding it's way onto Remus' face, so infectious that Sirius couldn't help but mirror it.

Okay, they were both dumbasses who could have sorted their shit out a lot earlier, but Sirius didn't care. What mattered was that they had made it.

Sirius loved Remus and Remus loved him back, and nothing else mattered.