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Before she knew it, she found herself walking back towards her old room. But she stopped short, knocking on Behrad’s door instead. It might have been a risky move. Both showing up to his door without prior warning and what she had in mind. 

Thankfully, when the door opened, he was just in his pajamas. “Isn’t it kinda late, Z?”

“When we did that vision quest thing-” which had not turned out as planned, really “-what was it that you gave me again?” 

“Uh, Lyoga root. Why?” he asked. 

“Well, it’s way harder to visit the other me without being able to just kinda swap,” Zari admitted. 

Behrad narrowed his eyes at her. “Were you thinking of a late night vision quest?” 

She crossed her arms. “A little.” Her plan hadn’t really been to get him involved, other than borrowing the totem for a moment. But she figured if anyone was gonna be helpful here, it would be him. 

Nodding, he held up a finger. “Gimme a second.” The door slid closed. He wasn’t that far from his stoner days yet, but Zari doubted he was retrieving a stash of Lyoga root in there. 

Left alone in the hall, her thoughts caught up to her again. Sara and Ava had trusted the mantle of captain to her. But was it really hers? Or were they mixing her up with the Zari they’d known first, the one who was capable and brave and strong? One whose major accomplishments weren’t just Influencer of the Year? 

Behrad stepped back out before they got away from her too much. He had slipped a cardigan over his pajamas and carried a sachet of incense. “Okay, let’s do this.” 

It wasn’t long until they had set things up in her old room. For a thrown together affair, it would work. 

As Zari swirled around the amber tea in the metal cup she held, Behrad asked, “You going solo?” 

“Yeah,” she told him. “You want me to tell other me anything?” 

“Just tell her and Nate hey for me,” he told her. 

“She’s gonna ask when you’re gonna visit.”

“I know,” he groaned. “Soon. Tell her I’ll come when we’re not running from the Fixers.” 

“Will do.” She took a sip of the tea. Even just the waft of steam and the earthy taste took her back to the worst day of her life. “Go back to bed.” 

He straightened up. “I’m next door if you need me.”

“How could I forget?” Zari mumbled. “Oh, and tell Astra hi for me.” 

That made his exit through the shared bathroom quicker, the satisfaction of teasing her little brother lifting her mood. 

She closed her eyes and focused on the sound of machinery and wind instrumentals that Behrad had put on. The noise faded, until it sounded less like machinery and wind instruments and more like a rustling breeze. 

The small alcove where she and the other her convened was empty when she opened her eyes again. The warm light that filtered through was welcome after weeks in a Fixer rehabilitation facility, only to go right back to the metal walls of the Waverider. 

The other her shuffled on in eventually. Her dark hair was in braided pigtails, clad in a flannel robe tied shut and thick red socks. 

“Hey,” she greeted her with a yawn. “I thought time progressed the same for you guys out there. Isn’t this cutting into your beauty sleep?” 

“Mm, a little.” 

“So, what’s the deal?” She sat down across from her. As she did, a tray of tea materialized in front of them. Without hesitation, the other her poured herself a cup, then nudged it towards her. 

“I don’t need a reason to come see my favorite totem bearer,” Zari told her with a grin.  

“Yeah, you went through the hassle of coming here without your totem so you could catch up in the middle of the night,” the other her deadpanned. “What’s going on?” 

She sighed. Of course the alternate version of her would see through all of her bullshit. “Well. You’re looking at the new captain of the Waverider.” 

The other Zari leaned back with an impressed grin, resting her arm on the back of the couch. “Wow. Congrats.” 

The congratulations weren't what she’d been looking for, but it felt nice to feel the glow of her praise. That felt like a new level of self-deprecation she tended not to reach. She dropped her gaze to her hands, fidgeting with the ring on her pinky. “Thanks.”

“I mean, Nate told me that Sara got pregnant- should I even ask about that?” the other her said. 

“Probably not.” 

“Can’t be as bad as what happened to Mick,” she muttered, before continuing. “Anyways.”

“Did you ever- want this?” Zari asked. 

The other her took a sip of her tea. “Want what?” 

“To be captain.” 

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I babysat the team a little.” The other Zari repositioned herself, leaning her knees on her elbows to face her head on. “When Jax left, I filled his role in a lot of ways. Sara trusted me to handle things.” 

Zari busied herself with pouring herself some tea, taking the time to consider her response. If anything, she thought they would have asked Behrad then. He had the superiority; after Nate had left, he was the Legend who had been there the longest. 

“Sometimes, I think they passed it onto me because of you,” she admitted. “Like the wires got crossed or something.” 

“And why would they do that?” the other her asked. 

“Because I’m not a superhero.” She took a sip of tea, washing away the bitter confession. 

“So that’s why you gave your totem to Nate.” The other Zari shook her head. “You know how many rules I broke to duplicate that for you?” 

“A lot?” Zari asked. 

“Listen, that’s not the point.” She sighed. “It feels strange to have to give a pep talk to myself, but you’re selling yourself short.” Her hands cupped her mug. “They made you captain for you. Not because they were thinking of me. I bet I’ve broken the timeline way more times than you have.” 

“Yeah, but when you’ve done it, it’s for good.” 

The other her laughed. “You don’t have to be me, you know that.” 

Deep down, she did. She never could be the other her, so why even try? But she wanted to be as impactful as this previous version of her, who’d changed the whole damn timeline just to bring back her family. The Zari Tarazi of her timeline would just be known for audible lipstick and Dragonesque scandals. 

“So, what? Am I just supposed to influence my way through the timeline?” she asked. 

The other Zari set her mug down. “You know, while I was out there working with the Hoover-Bot, the Legends filled me in on - well, why the manor dimension was still a post-party mess. You went out of your way to make sure one guy could keep open a spot for the people forgotten in the 1920s. And you threw a pretty rocking party to do that.” 

She smiled. “I guess I did.” 

“The caps took a chance on you then,” she said. “And they were impressed. It was the perfect trap for luring in that Hoover-Bot, too.”

“I passed their test, then,” Zari said. 

“Mm, I doubt they had that much foresight.” She refilled her mug. “But you proved yourself.” 

“Thank God for my party planning experience,” she muttered. 

“You’ve got what it takes,” the other Zari said. “Even then, you don’t have to be a captain just like Sara, or Ava, or me. Just- be you. Be a Legend.” 

It was easier said than done. But she still smiled as she took another sip of tea. “Thanks, me.”

She grinned. “No problem.” The other her stood, still carrying her mug. “If that’s all, I’m going back to bed.” 

“Wait. One more thing.” Zari stood up with her. “B says hi. To you and Nate.” 

“Tell him he owes me a visit. Both of you need to catch me up on everything.” 

“Alright, fine.” 

The other Zari stepped forward to pull her into a hug. It was always weird how comforting it was to get a hug from herself, inhaling her warm, spicy scent. But as she let go, she felt like she could actually do this. 

She stepped back from her. “Goodnight, Z.” The other her turned to disappear down the halls of the totem, back to her and Nate’s quarters. 

When she woke back up in her old room, she stood from her nest on the floor and flopped against her comfortable, high-thread count sheets. 

Maybe one last night here wouldn’t be so bad.