Admiring her silently.

Turning 25 in a few days. A lot of life has happened since high school. I fricken loved this community during 2017-18 because it was impacted by confused/coming of age, funny teens. Cute yet cringe as fuck how we all had crushes on our teachers and thought it was love. Lmfao. Like me, I had a deep crush on D that I thought would never end bc I ‘loved’ her that much. Literally thought she was my first love OMG. Although we had each other’s contact info, it all died down 1-2 years into college. No communication after 2 years.

Side note: it’s been so long, who’s still here?

It was New Year’s Eve and I was out at a party with friends and I met up with S (anyone wondering who that is, check out the hashtag ‘S’). After our almost, somewhat ‘fling’ this summer, we stayed in touch sort of often. Anyways, we were all doing the countdown to New Years and at 12am everyone was hugging everyone else and he came to me. We hugged for probably the whole minute and he kissed my cheek. But before that, we gave each other that look. I so very wanted to kiss him but we were both timid because there were a couple of his colleagues there, whom are chill people, but I was a student in the recent years so that probably wouldn’t look good on his end.

I believe neither of our feelings run deep towards each other but I know for a fact we cannot deny that there aren’t any, lust maybe? So the next opportunity that comes along *fingers crossed*, I will kiss him then.

A throwback of little me resurfaced and D commented on how cute I WAS. I really contemplated on replying with, “I still am.” It would have been easier to say that in-person like old times, but it was on socialmedia for many others to see, so I didn’t. Perhaps I overanalyzed how flirty it would seem. Teen me always saught after little opportunities like that. I miss it. I miss her..

Did not mean to go that deep, oops.