Heathâs answer to her question might be the best and worst thing Elodie had ever heard.Â
She wasnât sure what it was about the way he spoke, the certainty in his tone and the sudden serenity in how he was holding her, that made her feel so awful. It should have been a relief to hear him talk about Rebekah like this, to know that a love like that could exist and that it was real. But instead, her heart seemed to sink to the pit of her stomach, the tears that sheâd been trying to stave off now spilling freely down her cheeks.Â
Absently, in a far-off, distant corner of her mind, she could remember a time when someone else had made her feel that way. She thought, for a split second, that sheâd maybe even heard those words before, in some heated, passionate moment that she couldnât quite differentiate between an argument or sex.Â
âYou had me worried sick, El!âÂ
That, right there. Theyâd been shouted at her, she was sure of it, but not in the same way that her father pretended to care. Not in that vicious, furious way that he claimed to worry about her, but instead only cared about whatever shame he thought she might bring down on the family. No, this memory felt different, the way it was laced with love and care. She could feel the ghost of a hand against her waist, the kiss â of both a lover and a stranger now â pressed to her forehead as he held her close. A lump formed in her throat, remembering the way heâd rubbed circles into her back, the motion so sensual and soothing, so close to how Heath was touching her now.Â
She decided, in that moment, that it probably didnât matter who her mystery man was and whether he was out there or not. Because hearing Heathâs words echo through her now, she realised with a hopeless desperation that she wanted him to love her the way that he loved Rebekah. Elodie didnât want just anybody, she wanted him.Â
âWhy doesnât it look the same?â she ventured to ask, though she didnât think sheâd enjoy the answer. Her chest heaved with a sob that she was trying to hold in, terrified that it might break free and ruin everything further. Heath loved Rebekah, heâd made as much clear. But what if she didnât love him? What if he was giving all of himself to somebody that didnât deserve it?Â
She looked up at him now, her hand lifting to delicately trace his jaw. Her fingers pushed up and past his cheek, sifting through his hair and closing around the dark waves. Elodie thought he looked so beautiful right now, a warmth in his gaze as he recounted the sweetness of his love for Rebekah. The honesty of it made her heart break.Â
âShe should feel the same,â she whispered. It was a selfish thing to do, to take his love for Rebekah and twist it, to try and muddy it with her own feelings. But she was cruel and unkind, a shadow of the girl sheâd once been. Her nose nudged his jaw as she pressed a chaste kiss to his stubble.  âShe should love you because youâre good and kind. She should want you because youâre everything, mon chou.âÂ
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