💗💗💗💗

it shatters my own heart to say this, but I barely even connect to the “lovesick” title these days. I can’t remember the last time I got sick from my anxious attachment - that should be a good thing, but no I’ve just picked up a handful of avoidant tendencies and feel more numb than I’ve ever wanted to.. & it’s because I can’t trust people with my heart like that. now there is nothing where there should be everything.

my friends do not like when I talk about my problems so I’m back to posting here I guess

I hate myself so much, it’s disgusting that I’m like this

I guess since I stopped my meds weeks ago, that means the suicidal thoughts are back..

lol whenever I try to talk about my feelings and discomfort, my friends just change the subject to talk about themselves. everyone likes talking about themselves, no one likes listening

I think having a grown ass man describe to me how he wanted to murder my family and myself when I was only 4 years old fundamentally changed me as a person

it always feels like no one is genuinely interested in actually knowing about me & whats going on in my life and in my head. people just like to talk about themselves.

Everyone really does just get tired of me, huh

my “closest online friend” disappears/ghosts and makes everything invisible for weeks to months or even years at a time, but is still active with other friends during those periods. this has been a pattern for our entire decade + of friendship and im starting to reach my limit of how many “one sided friendships” I can take - am I wrong for feeling hurt?